


Family Confidential - The Final Quarter: A New Beginning

by Laragh



Series: Confidential!Verse [7]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Another Mini Glee Crossover, Discussion Of Pregnancy And Choices Therin, F/F, Family Feels, Grown Children, Middle Age, Not Middle Ages, Some Domestic Angst, contemporary, smut throughout
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:40:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 86,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26121325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laragh/pseuds/Laragh
Summary: Just when you think your nest is emptied...(Sequel to Family Confidential 3)
Relationships: Tara Maclay/Willow Rosenberg
Series: Confidential!Verse [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1237535
Comments: 69
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy folks! I'm here with a new fic in this series. I hope you like it! These chapters ran a little shorter than the last, so I'm going to update three times a week on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays to make up for it. Thanks for reading!

  
“Happy Birthday dear Tara ( _Mom_ )...happy birthday to you!”  
  
  
Tara blew out the candles shaped like a ‘5’ and a ‘0’ on her cake and JJ, Kayden, Lily, and Emily clapped.  
  
  
Willow put her phone down from taking a picture and came over to plant a kiss right on Tara’s lips.  
  
  
“Alright, alright,” JJ waved his hand, “Are we getting cake or not?”  
  
  
Willow let no man or child stop her from kissing her wife and lingered for several more seconds before pulling away with an audible ‘mwah’.  
  
  
“ _Now_ you get cake,” she grinned at her children and closed her palm around the knife to start cutting up slices.  
  
  
Tara rose from her seat at the head of the table and walked over to Kayden and JJ, kissing each of their cheeks. She pushed her glasses up her nose as they slipped down slightly.  
  
  
“You boys are so good to visit your old Mom for her birthday even though you were just here for the holidays.”  
  
  
“The New York Times let you have the night off?” Willow teased JJ as she handed him a slice of red velvet, “No games being played tonight?”  
  
  
“There’s always a game on,” JJ chuckled, then reached his arm up to wrap around Tara from the side, “But none more important than my Mom.”  
  
  
“Kiss ass,” Lily said under her breath and discreetly launched some cream cheese frosting at JJ’s nose.  
  
  
“Lily, you are a high school senior now,” Willow scolded sternly, “At least a decade old enough to know not to play with your food.”  
  
  
“Where’s Cleo?” Emily cut in to take the attention off of Lily being confronted.  
  
  
JJ pouted sadly while his fork rose to his mouth.  
  
  
“Cleo’s sorry she couldn’t be here. She’s doing all night shifts right now and some of those nocturnal animals can be a handful.”  
  
  
“Many coyotes in the middle of Manhattan?” Lily grinned sarcastically.  
  
  
“Ever had a hedgehog stare you down in the dark?” JJ shot back with narrowed eyes.  
  
  
“Anyway,” Tara moved swiftly on and squeezed JJ’s shoulders, “I understand completely. I hope she knows how proud we all are of her.”  
  
  
JJ craned his head back so he could look upward.  
  
  
“She does, maw. She has the card you guys sent hanging in her office with the big family photo we all took last summer in New York.”  
  
  
“When are you going to marry that girl?” Willow asked, shuffling in her seat, “I had a wife and child at your age.”  
  
  
“Jeez, I didn’t come home to get grilled,” JJ scoffed, then turned into a helpless little boy again as he looked up at Tara, “Unless you’ll make me grilled cheese?”  
  
  
“You just had dinner,” Tara frowned.  
  
  
“Lunch tomorrow before I go home?” JJ asked hopefully, “With your tomato soup?”  
  
  
“Cleo not cooking for you with all those night shifts?” Kayden asked with a smirk that made his lips tickle his goatee.  
  
  
“I cook for her, thank you very much,” JJ replied, puffing his chest out, “You’re not the only one with a modern relationship.”  
  
  
Kayden moped and pushed his cake around his plate for a moment.  
  
  
“Darren and I split up a couple of days ago,” he admitted, holding his hands up, “Being apart over the holidays showed us we don’t want to be together.”  
  
  
Tara closed her arms around Kayden’s neck from behind and kissed his cheek from over his shoulder.  
  
  
“Oh honey, I’m so sorry.”  
  
  
Kayden leaned back and rubbed Tara’s arms.  
  
  
“I was going to wait until after your birthday to tell you,” he said sadly, glancing up to meet Tara’s eye, “I know you really liked him.”  
  
  
Tara pressed another quick kiss to Kayden’s hairline.  
  
  
“I like who you like.”  
  
  
“What happened?” Lily smirked, “You don’t like the D any more?”  
  
  
“Lily,” Willow scolded.  
  
  
Lily rolled her blue eyes so hard that some mascara flaked off.  
  
  
“I hear my own name so much more often since Robyn left.”  
  
  
A ringtone sounded from near Willow and she smiled as she fetched it from her pocket.  
  
  
“Speak of the devilish daughter!” she exclaimed in delight, “Everyone, Robbie’s calling from Venezuela.”  
  
  
The boys and the twins scooted their chairs around and Tara retook her seat next to Willow. Willow pressed the answer button and Robyn’s flickering form popped up in a hologram.  
  
  
Willow waved excitedly.  
  
  
“Hey, kiddo! How’s the Amazon?”  
  
  
“Still endangered,” Robyn replied dryly but a smirk was curling up on one side of her lips, “Happy Birthday, Mom!”  
  
  
“Thank you, Robbie,” Tara called out and clutched Willow’s arm with tears in her eyes. She missed their daughter.  
  
  
“You’re really an old lady now,” Robyn cackled.  
  
  
Willow nudged Tara with a wink.  
  
  
“You’re only as old as the woman you feel.”  
  
  
“Gross,” came from three younger voices in the room, except Kayden who blushed and looked downward and Emily, who averted her eyes and closed them.  
  
  
“Got a boyfriend yet?” Lily shouted out to Robyn.  
  
  
“Or a girlfriend?” Emily added helpfully.  
  
  
“Or a skillet?” Willow asked with a grin and everyone else, even Tara, groaned at the joke that Willow had made umpteenth times since Robyn had come out as pansexual.  
  
  
“Kinda busy stopping the destruction of the earth’s lungs,” Robyn whistled with a sigh on the end.  
  
  
“Oh honey, I hope you’re staying safe,” Tara said, putting her hand against her heart.  
  
  
“Don’t tie yourself so tightly to a tree that you can’t breathe,” Willow added.  
  
  
Tara frowned at Willow.  
  
  
“Your mother’s teasing tone aside, don’t burn yourself out.”  
  
  
Robyn held her hands up to her surroundings.  
  
  
“If this forest is going down, I’m going down with it.”  
  
  
“You’re getting your butt back here in time for your next birthday, I don’t care how scorched it is,” Willow said definitively.  
  
  
“Willow,” Tara clicked her tongue.  
  
  
Willow looked back defensively. Robyn’s image flickered again with movement.  
  
  
“Fam, I gotta go. We’re meeting with some indigenous groups and it’s a bit of a trek.”  
  
  
“We love you, Robbie,” Tara said, blowing a kiss, “Thank you so much for calling.”  
  
  
“Bye old lady,” Robyn grinned and flickered into nothingness.  
  
  
The hologram dropped and the kids scooted back into eating cake. Tara continued to look at the spot Robyn’s image had been in fondly.  
  
  
“I’m so proud of her,” she said with an indicative smile, “She’s living her dream and changing the world.”  
  
  
“I still think she could have lived her dream and changed the world _after_ getting a college education,” Willow muttered.  
  
  
“Yeah, Momma. We all know that,” Lily said in a bored tone, “You’ve said it often enough.”  
  
  
Willow rolled her eyes in the exact same way Lily had earlier.  
  
  
“Robyn said you could have her room when she left, you know, not her surliness.”  
  
  
“Yeah, Lil, go bone that boyfriend of yours or something,” JJ scoffed.  
  
  
Lily’s head flew up, eyes wild. She threw her spoon at JJ.  
  
  
“Jerk!”  
  
  
“Boyfriend?” Tara asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
  
“Whoops,” JJ held up his hands as a forked joined the spoon at being aimed at his head, “I didn’t know they didn’t know.”  
  
  
“Why are you keeping your boyfriend from us?” Willow asked accusingly, “What’s wrong with him?”  
  
  
“Willow,” Tara chided again.  
  
  
“Quit saying my name like that!” Willow protested.  
  
  
“Take your own advice!” Lily added in an escalating tone.  
  
  
“Home sweet home,” JJ murmured and cut himself some more cake.  
  
  
A few hours later, Tara returned to hers and Willow’s bedroom after tucking in the boys.  
  
  
“You do remember that they’re grown men, right?” Willow asked as she stretched her back out while sitting on the bed.  
  
  
“They both work so hard and live so far away. Can’t I take care of my only sons when they come home to visit especially for my birthday?” Tara asked in a clucking voice as she reached up to her ears to take her earrings off.  
  
  
“Make ‘em all the grilled cheese you want,” Willow offered graciously, “I just happen to think yours is the pillow that should be fluffed.”  
  
  
“Feel free,” Tara returned with a sweet smile.  
  
  
Willow caught Tara’s wrist as she passed. She looked up and felt a swell of love at Tara’s gentle creases around her eyes and the wrinkles borne from smiling. She reached up and brushed her fingertips against Tara’s cheek.  
  
  
“Is that what you want? To be…fluffed?”  
  
  
Her hand fell to link her fingers with Tara. She gently flexed their digits together and felt the twinge where arthritis was just starting to set in. The doctor told her those kinds of exercises would help her keep her flexibility and Willow reassured him with an innocent smile that she wasn’t concerned about her finger joints getting regular exercise.  
  
  
She tugged Tara’s hand again and this time rose off the bed to meet Tara’s lips while swinging her arms around Tara’s neck. She pulled Tara in and they smooched, long and slow.  
  
  
Willow’s hands settled on the soft overhang of Tara’s skin at her hips and slipped under Tara’s skirt to caress her panty line. She gave a little pull and felt Tara smile against her lips.  
  
  
“Happy Birthday, beautiful,” Willow whispered softly into the end of a kiss, “Want to see what’s on under this?”  
  
  
She put Tara’s hand on the tie of her robe and stepped back.  
  
  
Tara’s fingers danced with anticipation on the belt as she gave a gentle tug and then a more forceful one so the red lace of whatever Willow was wearing popped out in a burst of color. Tara placed her hands under the shoulders on the robe and pushed back so it fell away.  
  
  
Willow’s chemise was simple but beautiful. Flow-y and red with just enough lace in the right areas to highlight the swell and curve of Willow’s body. It didn’t try to hide any part of her and Tara could already see the skin she wanted to sink her lips into. Her eyes trawled Willow’s body and settled on Willow’s eyes with a crooked smile.  
  
  
“You know what I like.”  
  
  
“I like to think so,” Willow smirked.  
  
  
Tara ran her hands down Willow’s soft silk sides.  
  
  
“Well, I know how much you like to prove yourself.”  
  
  
Willow grinned and pulled Tara right onto the bed.  
  
  
Upstairs, JJ heard a thump and reached over to his nightstand.  
  
  
“Earbud time, bro.”  
  
  
“I haven’t forgotten,” Kayden called from his room and deposited his chunky headphones over his ears.  
  
  
In hers and Emily’s room, Lily shut the door aggressively with an annoyed eye roll.  
  
  
“That is the reason I haven’t moved into Robyn’s room yet,” she said, though it was a lie, as she swung herself onto her bed and held a cushion to her chest, “She was _right next door_. Now I know why she sleeps like the dead. Survival. I think it’s great they still bone but a little courtesy.”  
  
  
She waited for Emily to laugh, but she didn’t. Lily threw the cushion at her.  
  
  
“Hello, earth to Emily. Sharer of my DNA.”  
  
  
“I heard you,” Emily said just before feeling the thwack of the cushion smacking her glasses against her face.  
  
  
“Then why didn’t you say anything?” Lily said mockingly and stood up again to pace, bouncing up on her toes.  
  
  
Emily eyed her warily.  
  
  
“Do you want to do your—”  
  
  
“No, I don’t want to do my relaxation!” Lily snapped.  
  
  
Emily just frowned.  
  
  
“Why is it such a big deal that moms know about Emmett?”  
  
  
Lily fell onto her bed again dramatically.  
  
  
“My chances of sneaking around become drastically reduced when the ‘rents know that I’m _sneaking around_ ,” she sighed heavily, “Obviously you wouldn’t know anything about this. You haven’t even kissed a boy.”  
  
  
“I’ve kissed a boy,” Emily protested as she petted her kitten, a gift for her 16th birthday.  
  
  
Lily chuckled.  
  
  
“Zayde doesn’t count. Or Will and Garrett,” she said as she examined her nails, “Man, I wish they hadn't moved when they had their daughter. They _really_ dropped the cash on our birthday.”  
  
  
She looked up.  
  
  
“Neither does the cat, by the way. Cat tongues are not comparable with boy's tongues.”  
  
  
“She’s a girl,” Emily scowled slightly, “It’s _Miss_ Kitty Fantastico.”  
  
  
Lily looked at her sister for a long moment.  
  
  
“I still don't know where you got that name from.”  
  
  
Emily smiled down at the cat.  
  
  
“Mom and Momma had a fish in college—”  
  
  
Suddenly Lily got distracted by a new thought.  
  
  
“Hey, maybe you can find someone at Emmett's costume party,” she sat up straight with a twinkle of excitement in her eye, “Come as a sexy kitten or something.”  
  
  
Emily pouted.  
  
  
Continuing on with little care as to how their friction caused the bed to rattle the house, Willow and Tara rolled over in their bed with another giggle to hit off the walls.  
  
  
“Do you still like it?” Willow asked of her chemise as she rubbed her silken abdomen against Tara’s bare torso.  
  
  
Tara felt the lingerie tickle against the cellulite of her belly and thought the only thing better could be the touch of Willow’s skin.  
  
  
“I like it on…” she said, running her finger down the gentle wrinkles on Willow’s neck and against the entirely smooth spot before it became collarbone, “…almost as much as I’ll like it off.”  
  
  
She dropped her hands and gave the hem a little tug. Willow sat back on Tara’s lap with her knees bent at an angle that _just_ denied Tara a glimpse beneath.  
  
  
Tara’s hands crawled up Willow’s creamy thighs. She could still feel the muscles taut underneath, straining against the ripples of skin there. She caught the hem of the skirt and lifted it, sitting up to complete its transfer off of Willow’s body. Tara found her hands winding back into Willow’s hair and kissed her until they were breathless.  
  
  
“Tara,” Willow moaned, passing a quiver through Tara’s lips.  
  
  
“Mmm, yes,” Tara answered and pulled Willow’s body flush against hers.  
  
  
She pressed her thigh between Willow’s legs and gave an answering groan to Willow’s vocalizations of pleasure upon feeling the wetness spill out onto her skin. Her hand cased Willow’s body, finding every delightful budge and sweet dimple until her fingers were dancing through Willow’s course triangle of hair.  
  
  
Her thigh moved back to allow her hand access and in one quick movement, she had Willow’s hips lifting off the bed. Tara watched her wife’s body shake with pleasure; moving fast up her hips and slowing by the time it got to the gentle tremble in her jaw. She drew her fingers in and out in long, slow strokes, and upon watching her hand retreat again, she got an urge and lifted them to her mouth to taste.  
  
  
Willow protested the sudden pause in attention with a moan and Tara decided pretty quickly that she hadn’t had enough. Gently, she brought her knees back and positioned herself at an angle that she wouldn’t spend all night regretting. She kissed the insides of Willow’s thighs but Willow bucked up insistently and Tara got the hint.  
  
  
With the first tip of tongue against her, Willow’s hands twisted in the sheets. Her hips lifted from the bed and sought every bit of contact she could find.  
  
  
“Tara…” she moaned again, one ankle dragging up the sheet from the corner.  
  
  
A hand floated above Tara’s head, swiping air. When she felt the first rush low in her belly, her legs clamped together and the hand dropped to clutch Tara’s hair. Her eyes squeezed shut tight as her muscles tightened and tightened and tightened until it finally broke with an arched back and a low rumble from her throat.  
  
  
Some indeterminate time later that could have been seconds or minutes or even hours as far as Willow as concerned, she felt messy kisses on her ‘jelly belly’. As ever, it spouted a fresh wave of feeling loved and she was able to fold her arms back under her head and enjoy a stretch as Tara tenderly pressed pockets of love up her body.  
  
  
Finally, Willow felt a moist and plump kiss on her lips and her arms fell lazily down to gather Tara and cup her buttocks.  
  
  
“How’s your Willow tree doing?” Willow asked, squeezing the appropriate cheek where the tattoo curved around so nicely.  
  
  
“You tell me,” Tara murmured back and left a kiss on the corner of Willow’s mouth.  
  
  
Willow chuckled and kissed the top of Tara’s ear.  
  
  
“Pretty good…”  
  
  
Tara propped herself up on her elbow and caressed Willow’s belly.  
  
  
“Only pretty good?”  
  
  
Her fingertips tapped.  
  
  
“Well…” Willow continued, a smirk tugging on her lips, “The only thing better could be…”  
  
  
Somehow finding her legs, she rolled Tara over.  
  
  
“If I was on top of you.”  
  
  
Tara settled back against the mattress with a glint in her eye. She threw her hands back helplessly.  
  
  
“Whatever can I do but accept these torrid circumstances?”  
  
  
Willow trailed her palm down Tara’s wrist.  
  
  
“Hmm…”  
  
  
“What?” Tara asked, her tone lifting curiously.  
  
  
“Just thinking that these look a little bare…” Willow started to reply in a soft, evocative tone.  
  
  
She suddenly jumped up and disappeared into the closet. While Tara craned her neck to try and see what Willow was up to, Willow eventually returned with a scarf in one hand and a pair of handcuffs swinging off a finger on the other.  
  
  
Tara’s eyebrows rose.  
  
  
“Giving me a treat?”  
  
  
Willow straddled Tara again and promptly clicked the handcuffs into place on either of her wife’s wrists. She winked.  
  
  
“It is your birthday.”  
  
  
Tara started to smirk but then Willow tugged her wrists roughly so she could tie the chain of the handcuffs to the bed using the scarf. Tara’s smirk turned to a sharp intake of breath. Her cheeks flushed and it continued down her body.  
  
  
Her arms stretched deliciously above her head and she stretched her body out below Willow too.  
  
  
“Now who’s giving the treat?” Willow grinned as she slid her palms back down Tara’s shoulders to palm her breasts.  
  
  
Tara’s eyes fluttered closed and she moaned.  
  
  
Willow kissed into Tara’s neck and slowly moved down, letting her lips replace her hands over Tara’s breasts and pulling the nipples into stiff peaks. Tara’s body strained against her restraints and each gentle thrash just elongated the moans that left her mouth.  
  
  
When Willow released her breast and continued to kiss downward, Tara’s back arched to push her in the right direction. Her thighs parted as Willow’s nose brushed past her pelvic bone. When she finally got there, Tara’s chin angled toward the ceiling and her pillows were indented with the shape of her head as she cried out in pleasure.  
  
  
Her hips twisted into Willow’s mouth and she shivered as Willow’s tongue circled her clit and made that empty ache inside her palpate so much more.  
  
  
She rubbed herself on Willow until she could take her no more and then called her wife back up.  
  
  
“I want you inside.”  
  
  
Willow grinned with slightly shiny lips and without breaking eye contact, reached over to the nightstand, opened the drawer, and reached in. Her wrist made two pumping motions and her hand returned with a glossy liquid coating her fingers.  
  
  
As she reached down, Tara closed her eyes in anticipation and jerked when Willow glided through her and entered her in one fell swoop.  
  
  
“Mmm,” she moaned and the handcuffs rattled.  
  
  
When Willow kissed her on a deep upstroke, Tara was sure she experienced heaven for a moment; leaving her body for a split second before slamming right back into it in the throes of ecstasy.  
  
  
Her hips pumped faster until she was trembling with the need for release. Willow didn’t deny or disappoint and with a rotation of three pads of her fingers, she had Tara calling out her name in an evocative whisper.  
  
  
When Tara stopped feeling her heartbeat in her ears, she opened her eyes and saw Willow on her side, propped up on her elbow and smirking down at her. Somehow, Tara felt a fresh wave of heat wash over her. She fanned herself with her hand.  
  
  
“I don't know if I'm having a hot flash or if I'm just hot for you.”  
  
  
“I’ll take the credit,” Willow continued to smirk.  
  
  
Tara reached out to touch Willow’s cheek and was promptly reminded of her constraints. Her arms suddenly ached and it wasn’t as pleasant as the ache she’d just been relieved of.  
  
  
“Are you going to release me?”  
  
  
“Hmm…” Willow replied, drawing a lazy circle on Tara’s hip, making her shiver, “How much do you want it?”  
  
  
Tara gave some doe eyes and Willow felt her jelly belly swell inside with emotion as much as it had swelled with desire before.  
  
  
She reached up and flicked the lock on the handcuffs open, tossing both them and the tied scarf off the edge of the bed. As Tara rolled her wrists, Willow crawled over her again. Tara was quick to replace the strain from the constraints for the strain of movement and reached between Willow’s legs where she was plenty ready for what was to come.  
  
  
Willow slid onto Tara’s fingers and sat up into a straddle again. She lifted herself up but not quite off and Tara allowed her to set the pace. It was harder to maintain friction at this angle but Tara loved getting to see all of Willow so unabashedly exposed for her and enjoyed every moment of the view.  
  
  
Willow reached for Tara’s hand as she came, her body rocking forward and back.  
  
  
Her body gently fell to Tara, attracted like a magnet, and she snuggled into her wife’s side.  
  
  
“Whose birthday is it again?”  
  
  
“Oh definitely mine,” Tara smiled easily.  
  
  
Willow kissed Tara’s shoulder blade.  
  
  
“What’s it like to be fifty?”  
  
  
“The same as forty-nine I think,” Tara replied honestly, “What’s it like to be married to a fifty-year-old?”  
  
  
“Very sexy,” Willow replied a grin.  
  
  
Tara tilted her chin and Willow leaned down to press a kiss to her lips.  
  
  
“I think our fifties will be our best yet.”  
  
  
“Oh yeah?” Tara asked, touching her fingertips to Willow’s cheek.  
  
  
Willow nodded.  
  
  
“Yes, ‘cause right now…”  
  
  
She closed her eyes to enjoy Tara’s caress and sighed softly.  
  
  
“Life is perfect.”  
  
  
Famous last words.


	2. Chapter 2

  
Tara put the second-last cup from the dishwasher in the cabinet just as her tea kettle whistled.  
  
  
She used the last cup to pour herself a cup of red raspberry tea and dunked the teabag repeatedly to get all of its goodness infused.  
  
  
She saw a shadow on the floor and looked up. She smiled.  
  
  
“Hey, Emmy.”  
  
  
Emily lifted her cheap cat mask from her face and looked at Tara.  
  
  
“How did you know it was me without my glasses?”  
  
  
Tara’s lips sloped up on one side.  
  
  
“Because I’m your mother,” she said, lifting her cup with both hands, “I carried you in my womb. I knew you completely before I even met you.”  
  
  
She blew on her tea and took a sip.  
  
  
“I thought you hated wearing contacts.”  
  
  
Emily held the mask up sheepishly.  
  
  
“Lily says it looks stupid with glasses.”  
  
  
“And what do you think?” Tara asked with a softly arched eyebrow.  
  
  
Emily looked down. Tara pursed her lips at the non-response.  
  
  
“What’s the occasion for a party tonight?”  
  
  
“Um…” Emily said, her lips humming, “It’s um… a kid at school’s birthday.”  
  
  
“I see,” Tara replied evenly, “Would this ‘kid’ happen to be Lily’s boyfriend?”  
  
  
Emily looked away again.  
  
  
“Why won’t she let us meet him?” Tara asked, shaking her head.  
  
  
Emily visibly cringed on the spot. Tara heaved a soft sigh.  
  
  
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t ask you to tattle on your sister,” she said, leaving her cup back down in its saucer, “You look very pretty.”  
  
  
Emily started to smile, then there was the sound of a car beeping outside.  
  
  
“Emily, c’mon!” Lily’s voice came as she pounded down the stairs in a Minnie Mouse dress and ears.  
  
  
Tara followed Emily out to the door.  
  
  
“Stay safe you two,” she said and kissed each of their cheeks, “If you need a ride home—”  
  
  
“Bye Mom,” Lily cut her off, snatching Emily’s hand and dragging her out the door.  
  
  
Tara sighed again and closed the door again as the car they’d bundled into moved down the street.  
  
  
“Good news!” Willow’s voice came from behind.  
  
  
Tara turned and stood at the end of the stairs Willow was descending. She arrived and Tara waited.  
  
  
“Well?”   
  
  
Willow blinked slowly.  
  
  
“Huh?”  
  
  
“You said you had good news?” Tara prompted.  
  
  
“I do!” Willow replied brightly, “I’m married to you.”  
  
  
She kissed Tara’s cheek, who blushed lightly, even after all of these years.  
  
  
“But I have other good news,” Willow continued, softly bouncing up on her toes and stretching her back while she was there.  
  
  
“Willow, for god’s sake,” Tara said in exasperation after another moment.  
  
  
Willow landed back on her feet with a smile.  
  
  
“I successfully sleuthed Lily’s boyfriend from the address they gave us for tonight! She tried to throw me off by putting it in the wrong zip, but I’m onto her.”  
  
  
“Willow,” Tara’s tongue clicked again.  
  
  
Willow’s bottom lip protruded in a pout.  
  
  
“I really only like you saying my name that much when there’s a sheet or two rustling beneath us.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes flickered closed but she could do nothing to stop the little smile tugging on her lips.  
  
  
“You know I don’t like you tracking the kids unless it’s an emergency.”  
  
  
“I didn’t!” Willow replied with an eager smile, “I tracked the boyfriend.”   
  
  
She paused.  
  
  
“And his parents.”  
  
  
Tara gave Willow a stern look, who held a hand up.  
  
  
“Don’t tell me you’re not dying to know.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes flash with guilt.  
  
  
“Fine. Spill.”  
  
  
Willow brought Tara into the living room and sat with her on the couch, feet curled under her.  
  
  
“Get this: he’s an honor student.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyebrow arched.  
  
  
“I know!” Willow replied to the unspoken response, “His family are some big shots in business. I don’t get it. Why is she hiding him from us? By all accounts, he’s a really great kid.”  
  
  
Tara sighed deeply.  
  
  
“Something tells me the only reason is that it’s more exciting and she loves to torture us.”  
  
  
“Sounds about right,” Willow rolled her eyes, “Oh well. At least we know she’s not on the back of some motorcycle off getting pregnant.”  
  
  
“I hope not,” Tara cracked her neck, “She took the condoms I put in their medicine cabinet.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes shot toward Tara, wide.  
  
  
“Seriously, Tara?”  
  
  
“We spoke about this,” Tara replied a little jadedly.  
  
  
Willow frowned.  
  
  
“I still don’t like it.”  
  
  
Her eyes grew downcast and Tara gently wrapped her arm about her wife and gathered her in under her chin. Willow clung on.  
  
  
“At least she’s being safe,” she reasoned with a sigh after several moments of Tara’s embrace, “I think I hate it all the more because it reminds me that we’ve raised all our children and we’re about to be empty-nesters. In just a few weeks the girls will find out where we got in—”  
  
  
“They,” Tara interrupted softly.  
  
  
Willow’s face scrunched and she looked up at Tara.  
  
  
“Huh?”  
  
  
“Where _they_ got in,” Tara said gently, “Not ‘we’.”  
  
  
“Right,” Willow replied sheepishly, “Can we be twenty years old, sitting under our tree at BC, sharing lame jokes and sweet kisses again please?”  
  
  
Tara shook her head, some graying hairs falling into her brow.  
  
  
“No,” she said and squeezed Willow’s thigh, “But we can be fifty years old, snuggled up on our comfy couch, sharing lame jokes and sweet kisses.”  
  
  
Willow’s lips spread out into a slow grin.  
  
  
“Sounds perfect.”  
  
  
She sat up and threw her legs across Tara’s lap.  
  
  
“What do you call a snake that's exactly 3.14 meters long?”  
  
  
Tara’s lips sloped up on one side.  
  
  
“A pi-thon.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes shone with awe and love. She leaned in closer.  
  
  
“Guess there’s only one thing left on our list…”  
  
  
She pressed their lips together and reveled in the magic.  
  


* * *

  
Emily stayed in the corner of the bustling guesthouse in the back yard of the palatial home of Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan and Jennifer McFarland, parents of one Emmett McFarland. The guesthouse alone would fill the square footage of the Rosenberg-Maclay household and their house was no tiny home.  
  
  
The corner was a safe space for Emily, somewhere that she could feel invisible while all of the popular kids congregated, swapping saliva and stories of their active social lives while loud house music made the walls hum.  
  
  
Emily didn’t know why she allowed Lily to drag her to these things, but she always did. Wherever Lily went, Emily would follow, often reluctantly. She guessed no one else at this party would rather be curled up with a book and their mother’s hot chocolate while listening to the wind howl outside. You couldn’t even hear the wind over the loud thump of the dance music behind these walls.  
  
  
She looked out forlornly as water droplets of rain fell onto the outer pane of the nearest window until a sudden burst of laughter from close by disturbed her.  
  
  
“Hey, Virgi-ly!” one of the guys from the hockey team called, “Nice ears.”  
  
  
Emily blushed to her toes and while she felt like cursing Lily’s name for making her wear this stupid costume, she was glad it was covering her face at this moment. Before she could avert her gaze a shadow loomed over her.  
  
  
Emily looked up through the slits she had for eyes under the mask as a kid around her age but whom she didn’t recognize. She was pretty sure he didn’t go to their school. With the trench coat what he was wearing indoors and the cluster of acne on the right-hand side of his face, she was unfortunately sure she would have heard him being taunted before.   
  
  
But no, she reminded the sole recipient of that attention, or at least it felt so.  
  
  
The other half of his face was covered with a Phantom Of The Opera mask, concealing him further.  
  
  
“Hi,” he lifted a large hand to wave and let it fall down by his side.  
  
  
Emily shrunk into herself.  
  
  
The boy took it upon himself to sit on the closest ledge to her.  
  
  
“What’s your name?”  
  
  
“Virgily,” the other boy coughed into his hands, to smirks from the two girls around him.  
  
  
Emily’s eyes closed. She had a test on Monday she could be studying for. Not here, surrounded by all of these people whom she hated and was hated back. The whole school wasn’t bad of course, but Emily suffered from just never being quite able to live up to Lily’s image.  
  
  
She didn’t need to be here to reinforce that.  
  
  
Or the constant reminder that she was the last person in her grade to lose her virginity.   
  
  
Trench-coat wiped one hand on his jeans.  
  
  
“Adam,” he introduced himself with a brief flick of his stubby fingers, which then closed around the body of the brown bottle in his hand, “You uh, want a drink or something? They have fancy root beer.”  
  
  
“The only type of beer Virgi-ly will ever be brave enough to drink,” jock-face snickered and even the girls hanging out of him rolled their eyes this time.  
  
  
Adam grinned clumsily.  
  
  
“You know a joke doesn’t get more funny just because you keep saying it.”  
  
  
Jock-face became hard-face and he took a step forward.  
  
  
“What did you say to me?”  
  
  
Adam stood and Emily clutched her chest as she stood to get herself out of this situation.  
  
  
“Oh my god, d-don’t fight.”   
  
  
One of the girls pulled the boy away and the air crackled with the tension in the air.  
  
  
Emily’s arms crossed over her chest.  
  
  
“I-I need some air.”  
  
  
This was why she didn’t want any attention to begin with.  
  
  
She made a beeline for the back door which led to a palatial yard with its own fountain, pond, and even a little cabana.  
  
  
Adam followed like a little lost puppy.  
  
  
It was several hours later when even Lily had had enough of drunk teenagers _with no class_ falling about the place that she was roaming the giant halls to try and find her sister. She’d checked the usual hidey-holes Emily could usually be found it, despite Lily trying often to get her to come out and have some fun. She didn’t understand how they shared the same DNA sometimes.  
  
  
Finally, out in the cabana, Lily found Emily sprawled across the L-shaped couch with her eyes closed.  
  
  
“Em,” Lily shook her sister’s shoulder and Emily’s eyes opened glassily.  
  
  
She took one look at Lily and fell off the seat. She giggled.  
  
  
Lily’s head reeled back.  
  
  
“Are you drunk?!” she asked, pulling Emily up to inspect and confirm that she was indeed drunk, “Emily, what the hell?! You know we don’t drink this hard!”  
  
  
“Didn’t know you had it in you, junior sis,” Emmett called out from behind with a smirk.  
  
  
“Jerk,” Lily spat back as she looked behind her shoulder, then moved to help her sister up, “Emmy, we gotta sober you up before we go home to moms! They’ll kill you! They’ll kill ME for letting you get this wasted! What were you thinking?!”  
  
  
Emily _never_ drank when they went out but if she was going to, Lily thought she’d explained the rules pretty well. You have _a couple_ at the start of the night so it has time to metabolize, drink water between each one, and if you spill even a drop on your clothing, find the most highly scented soap you can and blame bean dip for the stain.  
  
  
Emily didn’t stink of booze but there was a distinct waft of peppermint, which happened to be the flavor of the empty Schnapps bottle Lily spotted rolling around the ground. She picked it up and looked at Emily with an arched eyebrow.  
  
  
“Why?”  
  
  
“Tastes like Christmas,” Emily answered with a definitive nod, then her brow crumbled, “’m sorry Lilyyy. Had to…”  
  
  
Lily heaved a sigh.  
  
  
“Well well done for making up for an entire high school career’s worth of partying in one night.”  
  
  
She got her arms under her sister.  
  
  
“Come on,” she said as she held Emily up and started to guide her inside.   
  
  
Emmett stood to the side, looking a bit pathetic.  
  
  
“Make some coffee or something, jeez!” Lily barked and grinned to herself at the way he jumped to attention.  
  
  
Lily brought Emily up to the bathroom and sat her on the toilet with the lid down. She ran the faucet and got a washcloth, which she wetted and began to wipe Emily’s face and clear her running mascara. God only knows where her cat mask was.  
  
  
“Where were you all night?”  
  
  
Emily made some vague motion back toward where they came from.  
  
  
“Getting drunk alone? Why?” Lily asked with a furrowed brow, “You’re always lecturing me about not drinking.”  
  
  
Emily mumbled something that Lily couldn’t hear.  
  
  
“What? Sewerage?”  
  
  
“COURAGE,” Emily suddenly shouted and started to twist off the toilet lid.  
  
  
Lily grimaced as she steadied Emily.  
  
  
“Say, don’t spit,” Lily blew some air out, “Why did you need courage? Was Joey giving you shit again, calling you that stupid name? I told him I’ll pull his balls up through his eye sockets next time. You want me to get Emmett to beat him up?”  
  
  
A lazy eyebrow wiggled further toward Emily’s hairline. Lily puffed her chest out defensively.  
  
  
“What? He could punch someone. If he wanted.”  
  
  
Emily’s eyes sunk, unconvinced.  
  
  
“He doesn’t even make his own punch, never mind punch somebody else.”  
  
  
Lily made a mocking motion.  
  
  
“Oh, look who’s suddenly lucid.”  
  
  
Emily’s whole body and demeanor suddenly slumped.  
  
  
“I want to go home,” she said quietly.  
  
  
Lily tossed the washcloth back into the sink and got her arms under Emily again.  
  
  
“C’mon.”  
  
  
She brought her to the kitchen where amongst the sea of trash and empty bottles that a housekeeper would be around in the morning to tidy up, Emmett was holding a mug under an expensive coffee machine, from which dark liquid was pouring.  
  
  
Lily got Emily situated on a stool, then came to retrieve the mug and thrust it into her sister’s hands.  
  
  
“Drink that,” she said, then fished in her pocket for a mint when Emily’s face scrunched in distaste upon her first taste of the strong coffee, “Take that.”  
  
  
Emily sucked obediently while Lily went off to find her little purse and came back with a blue raspberry Laffy Taffy candy.  
  
  
“Here, eat this. If Momma is doing one of her waiting-in-the-dark performances, she’ll spot the breath mint thing a mile away. Especially since you doubled-down with that atrocious drink. Where did you even find it?”  
  
  
“My parents throw a lot of holiday parties,” Emmett supplied.  
  
  
Emily took the sweet and sour candy and closed her eyes as her brain tried to make sense of all of the different flavors.  
  
  
After a moment she could hear sounds of kissing and was glad she’d closed them. That was the last thing she needed to see right now.  
  
  
Eventually, she felt a tug on her arm and blindly followed Lily back out into the dark night where a cab paid for by McFarland Enterprises would take them home.   
  
  
Everyone said Lily only dated Emmett for the money and status of his family, but it wasn’t true. They’d bonded during an unsubbed free music period and discovered a shared love of Halloween. What with Lily being on the piano and Emmett on the double bass, they were usually at completely opposite sides of the choir room when in class but that day no one had been where they were supposed to.   
  
  
With Halloween approaching, he’d shyly invited her to a Michael Myers marathon playing at the local multiplex and Lily had quickly announced to her family that she wanted no birthday party this year and was making her own plans. She’d tried to arrange a double-date so Emily could come along too and had found a few willing and even eager fellow students but Emily refused to believe they were being sincere and rather than risk humiliation, she stayed home.  
  
  
Secretly, Emily hadn’t minded at all because Tara had made her all of her favorite treats, and not the ones she usually agreed to just to make Lily happy, but it had still been very weird for them both. They’d never spent a birthday apart before and that evening had curled into the one bed to whisper with each other about how it had been. Fun but weird had been the conclusion.   
  
  
Fun but weird.  
  
  
Everyone also thought Emmett was a carbon copy of his father, right down to the instrument he played, and the way he styled his hair. On the outside, this was true, but on the inside, it was anything but. He hated the family business — commercial leasing — and dreaded a future filled with use clauses and property tax.   
  
  
Lily was trying to convince him to blow it all off and come to New York City with her and Emily. Colombia would definitely take him with his father’s connections but if he really wanted to stick it to him there was always NYU. JJ had connections there. Sure, he wouldn’t be able to start the Fall semester with this late of an application but they’d figure it out. They could all get a place off-campus next year. Maybe he could even become hers and Emily’s agent when they were becoming famous actresses. His father had already primed him to be a salesman. It would be perfect.  
  
  
She was having her own little daydream of building a mansion in the Hamptons even bigger than the McFarland's and looking on smugly as Emmett gave the finger to his overbearing father whom upon meeting Lily for the first time had said to his son: ‘you can do better than a ginger’. She was so engrossed in this daydream that she didn’t realize they were turning onto their street until the car parked itself outside the house and a robotic voice announced that they had arrived.  
  
  
Lily let herself out and came around to pull Emily out with her, though Emily did seem a bit steadier on her feet. She just looked sad now.  
  
  
Lily let them into the dark house and waited for a moment. Sometimes Willow liked to lay in wait but they hadn’t broken curfew so she hoped it wasn’t the case this time.  
  
  
She let out a breath of relief when there was no movement from anywhere and pushed Emily upstairs as quickly as she could. An inch away from hers and Emily’s bedroom door, she heard Tara’s voice.  
  
  
“Girls.”  
  
  
Lily pushed Emily into the room and leaned on the door frame to cover it.  
  
  
Tara took a step out of hers and Willow’s bedroom. Lily’s eyes widened but thankfully she didn’t come any closer.  
  
  
“Good night?”  
  
  
“Uh-huh,” Lily nodded quickly but nonchalantly. This wasn’t her first rodeo.  
  
  
“I hope Emmett had a nice birthday,” Tara replied softly but with a purposeful look.  
  
  
“Yeah, he—” Lily started to reply, then pulled a face when she remembered she’d never told them Emmett's name or that it was his birthday, “Good _night_ , Mom.”  
  
  
“Goodnight darlings,” Tara called out and returned to her room.   
  
  
Lily hurried in to help Emily off the floor, where she’d landed when Lily had pushed her in. Lily got Emily changed into pajamas and tucked her into bed. She took the little koala bear soft toy hugging the post on Emily’s bed and put it in bed with her.  
  
  
“Go to sleep. And for your own sake, don’t get up in the morning until you can hide your hangover.”  
  
  
Emily groaned and gingerly held her knees up to her chest.  
  
  
The alcohol won and she slept in moments.


	3. Chapter 3

  
  
“Mom, what’s for dinner?”  
  
  
“You know, I think I’ll miss that the most next year,” Tara smiled over a cup of tea as she stood in the kitchen, “Nobody here to pester me for food.”  
  
  
“What’s for dinner?” Willow’s head popped through the door, which she walked through with a grin, “Just kidding. I know exactly what’s for dinner.”  
  
  
She came over to Tara and hugged her from the side.  
  
  
“Poached pear salad followed by seared ahi tuna and finished with warm chocolate soufflé to share.”  
  
  
Her words spilled out like warm chocolate and her eyes darkened so much they almost looked the same.  
  
  
“Oh right. It’s your anniversary or whatever,” Lily rolled her eyes as her parents made no effort to disguise their kissing in front of her, “Do we just get to starve?”  
  
  
Willow pulled her lips away from Tara’s cheek.  
  
  
“You can order in whatever you want.”  
  
  
Lily’s eyebrow arched.  
  
  
“Even chocolate soufflé?”  
  
  
“If you can find a place to deliver it while maintaining its structural integrity,” Willow grinned sarcastically.  
  
  
“Where’s your sister?” Tara interrupted the bickering.  
  
  
Lily shrugged.  
  
  
“I dunno, the Amazon basin somewhere?”  
  
  
Tara’s mouth flattened, unamused.  
  
  
“Where’s Emily?”  
  
  
“In bed,” Lily replied as she wandered over to the fridge to find a pre-takeout snack.  
  
  
“Is she still sick?” Willow asked in concern.  
  
  
“She said she was feeling better earlier,” Tara frowned, “Did something happen at your boyfriend’s birthday party? She’s been down on herself ever since.”  
  
  
Lily let the fridge door close as she retreated with some salami.  
  
  
“I heard some jerks were making fun of her.”  
  
  
“You only heard?” Willow asked sternly, “Why weren’t you there to protect her?”  
  
  
“I’m not her keeper,” Lily scoffed, “I got Emmett to drop his base case on the guy’s foot.”  
  
  
“Lily,” Tara chastised.  
  
  
Lily threw her hands up.  
  
  
“Damned if I do, damned if I don’t!”  
  
  
She marched out and Willow looked to Tara with a forced smile.  
  
  
“At least she actually acknowledged her boyfriend’s name in front of us.,” she said and then sighed, “Do we need to call a doctor for Emily?”  
  
  
“I’ll go check on her,” Tara pushed away from the island and headed for the stairs.  
  
  
She went into the twins’ room, which they still shared despite all of the other bedrooms being free these days, out of choice. Robyn had actively encouraged one of them to take her room but neither had, so far.  
  
  
Emily was curled up in her bed with her back to the room. Tara approached and sat on the corner of the bed.  
  
  
“Hey koala bear,” she said, putting her hand on Emily’s leg and rubbing it up and down, “Still not feeling well?”  
  
  
Emily looked over and shook her head. Tara smiled sympathetically.  
  
  
“Is it cramps?”  
  
  
“No,” Emily replied softly, then her brow scrunched together for a moment.  
  
  
Tara didn’t notice as she covered Emily’s forehead with the back of her hand.  
  
  
“You don’t have a fever.”  
  
  
Emily’s eyes darted to Tara and away again.  
  
  
“I-I think I’m just having an off day.”  
  
  
“It’s been more than a day,” Tara said in concern, “I’m going to cancel our dinner reservation.”  
  
  
“No, Mom, please don’t. I’d feel so guilty,” Emily rattled off quickly with a shake in her tone, “I-I just need to rest some more. A quiet house would be helpful.”  
  
  
Emily tensed as she waited for Tara to believe her. After a moment or two, Tara nodded.  
  
  
“I made you soup earlier. There’s crackers and if you feel up for more, your sister is going to order in later.”  
  
  
Emily forced a smile.  
  
  
“Thanks, Mom.”  
  
  
Tara took Emily’s hand and enveloped it in hers.  
  
  
“If you feel even a teeny bit worse, you call us, okay?”  
  
  
Emily nodded quickly.  
  
  
“I will, Mom. I promise.”  
  
  
Tara kissed Emily’s head.  
  
  
“Well I know I can trust _you_ when you say that.”  
  
  
Emily’s eyes averted and Tara squeezed her hand again.  
  
  
She returned downstairs, where Willow was waiting by the front door with their jackets over her arm, smiling.  
  
  
“Have I told you that you look beautiful tonight?”  
  
  
Tara smiled back as she descended the last few steps.  
  
  
“Every time you look at me.”  
  
  
Willow beamed and held Tara’s jacket up to help her into.  
  
  
“Girls, we’re leaving,” Willow called as she settled the jacket on Tara’s shoulders, “I sent you both money so get whatever you want.”  
  
  
She looked at Tara pointedly. They tried to mitigate Lily’s obviously more dominant personality by getting Emily to share her opinions but it was hard when Emily would just look at the floor and shied away. Sometimes Willow swore there was some impossible mix up and Emily shared Tara’s genes because the way she hid herself from the world was _so like_ how she remembered Tara in their early days. Even down to the little flick of the eyes back up to check on the state of things while trying not to be noticed.   
  
  
When they were younger, Emily had been on the path to slowly build herself up into a confident young woman but high school bullies had put that to pasture. Despite both Willow and Tara trying to intervene multiple times with the school principal, Emily begged them to stop as it just made the teasing worse.  
  
  
It broke both Tara and Willow’s hearts but with only a few months left until graduation, they were all just trying to ride it out.  
  
  
Sharing a sad smile, they made a silent pact to leave their problems at home and enjoy the night. They walked out into the car that would take them into the city and the wine bar where they had a reservation.  
  
  
“So…” Willow said as they took a seat in a little alcove that overlooked the water through a huge glass floor-to-ceiling window, “Don’t kill me. But I may have brought you here with an ulterior motive.”  
  
  
Through the window, the moon bounced off the remaining ice in the lake, dissolving as Winter transitioned toward Spring. The glare caught Tara’s crooked smile right as it lit up her face.  
  
  
“Always a fantastic start to an anniversary dinner.”  
  
  
Willow’s face scrunched in a grimace.  
  
  
“It _is_ our anniversary. Our 30th anniversary,” she said as if realizing it for the first time herself, “Why aren’t we having a big party?”  
  
  
Tara reached across the table and held both of Willow’s arms.  
  
  
“It could never live up to the 20th,” she replied with a playful wink, “When I walked into a backyard wedding I had no idea was happening.”  
  
  
Willow smiled bashfully and Tara used her fingertips to dance down Willow’s wrists until she could take her hands.  
  
  
“Besides,” she continued sweetly, “You and me is all I want. All I need. Every day.”  
  
  
She lifted Willow’s hands and kissed each one.  
  
  
“So tell me why you brought me here.”  
  
  
Willow shrugged a shoulder nonchalantly.  
  
  
“It can wait.”  
  
  
“Probably, but I’m curious,” Tara winked again.  
  
  
Willow shook her head.  
  
  
“We’re not talking business tonight.”  
  
  
Tara laughed and her eyes creased in a mix of amusement and frustration.  
  
  
“Just tell me.”  
  
  
Willow paused thoughtfully for a moment and started to round her thumbs around Tara’s thumbs.  
  
  
“…what do you think of this place?”  
  
  
“Well we haven’t even gotten bread yet so I’m not sure I can make a judgment,” Tara replied honestly.  
  
  
Willow smiled; she’d never stopped finding that little earnest smile of Tara’s oh-so-adorable even as it had grown lines over the years. The lines just added character and warmth.  
  
  
“Not the food,” she clarified and smiled in much the same way back, “The location. The style.”  
  
  
Tara took a good look around. Apart from the beautiful view outside, the inside was quite beautiful too. Lots of in-built dark wood, low lighting with little branches like the alcove they were in that offered privacy while still being able to appreciate the atmosphere of the whole restaurant.  
  
  
“It’s gorgeous,” Tara concluded and nodded off to the side, “I love how the bar is built into the wood like a kind of treehouse.”  
  
  
“Right, isn’t it amazing?” Willow’s eyes suddenly lit up.  
  
  
Tara’s lips quirked up on one side.  
  
  
“Spill,” she said, squeezing Willow’s hands invitingly, “What’s up?”  
  
  
“Well, see…this place has gotten super popular. The food is amazing, apparently, hence me already knowing what I was going to order,” Willow babbled excitedly, “They’ve outgrown the building. Moving further into the city.”  
  
  
She paused to take a breath and Tara looked at her expectantly.  
  
  
“And you want to get a table for opening night?”  
  
  
“No,” Willow replied, sitting on the edge of her seat in anticipation, “I want us to buy it.”  
  
  
Tara’s head slowly reeled back.  
  
  
“The restaurant?”  
  
  
“The building,” Willow clarified, then continued before Tara had a chance to react, “To make another Bibliosmia. Here, in Buffalo. We did it once across the country, we’d kill it having one on our doorstep.”  
  
  
Tara was careful not to show much reaction on her face.  
  
  
“I didn’t know you wanted to expand.”  
  
  
Willow shrugged both shoulders again.  
  
  
“I was just passing by this place one day and fell in love. I could see it so clearly. The bar is so beautiful and where we are right now could be beanbag nook.”  
  
  
Tara smiled softly at Willow's enthusiasm.  
  
  
“Well, they might not be selling the building just because the restaurant is moving. Most restaurants just rent. And commercial rents are extremely high.”  
  
  
“I know,” Willow nodded quickly, “But it’s a cool idea, right? I know we could recreate what we have in Sunnydale.”  
  
  
Tara paused unsurely.  
  
  
“It’s a very different market.”  
  
  
Willow visibly deflated.  
  
  
“You think it’s lame.”  
  
  
“I don’t,” Tara replied quickly and squeezed Willow’s hands in hers, “I just think we need to do our research. We’re about to send the twins to college.”  
  
  
“Which has been paid for—”  
  
  
“From the store profits, I know,” Tara nodded quickly and reassuringly, “I’m not saying no. I’m just saying let's do all the math and see if we have the cash flow to make it work.”  
  
  
Willow slowly smiled.  
  
  
“I am good at math.”  
  
  
Tara winked for the third but not the final time that evening.  
  
  
“You’re good at a lot of things.”  
  
  
Willow felt that warm feeling bloom in her stomach and rise up to her heart. Tara played with Willow’s fingers.  
  
  
“Do you need a new project since retiring?”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes sparkled alluringly.  
  
  
“You could retire with me and we could spend our days canoodling.”  
  
  
Tara smiled softly in response.  
  
  
“My work isn’t done yet.”  
  
  
Willow just nodded.  
  
  
“I know. And the world is better for it. If I hadn’t been able to license TARA to the whole FBI network I’d still be working too. But I don’t miss it. It was good work, but I feel like I paid my dues…and now it’s paying us back in spades.”  
  
  
Her head bobbed once, solemnly.   
  
  
“That’s shop talk done,” she promised and allowed her foot to rise beneath the table to find Tara’s, “Moving smoothly into anniversary territory…I am honored to have loved you for 10,957 days.”   
  
  
“Ooh, you are good at math,” Tara crooned with a laugh.  
  
  
The server arrived to take their order, which Tara trusted Willow with given her apparent expertise.  
  
  
A couple of hours later they were sharing the chocolate soufflé and making the kind of faces at each other that made other couples out for dinner look away awkwardly.  
  
  
After paying the check, Willow helped Tara into her jacket and took her hand as they strolled out and along the water to the other side of the pier where the car to take them home was picking them up in a few minutes.  
  
  
“What a view huh?” Willow smiled at Tara, “I’ve always been grateful that fate or random circumstance had us end up here.”  
  
  
“Me too,” Tara replied softly, “Though I lean more toward fate. We had to be here, for JJ and for Kayden. To reconnect with Michelle and Rose. Our family wouldn’t be our family anywhere else.”  
  
  
Willow smile spread and she leaned in to press a kiss to Tara’s cheek.  
  
  
“You look so beautiful tonight. Thirty years and I still can never quite believe how I manage to keep someone like you.”  
  
  
“Easy,” Tara replied in a low tone, “You just have to be you.”  
  
  
Willow’s fingers squeezed Tara’s gently and they walked with their smiles reflecting on the water over to where the car was waiting.   
  
  
When they got home, just about managing to contain themselves on the PDA front so as not to offend anyone looking in, Tara let them in the door and paused to squeeze Willow’s arm.  
  
  
“I have a surprise for you,” she said mysteriously with a crooked smile, “Go pour us some wine?”  
  
  
Willow had been expecting a quick retirement to the bedroom given how Tara’s hands had danced on her thigh and higher during the ride home, but she smiled easily. She hung up her jacket and went off to the kitchen to pop the cork on the bottle of Château Pontet-Canet Pauillac that Ira had gotten them for their anniversary.  
  
  
Tara left her purse near the door and removed her own jacket before going into the living room.  
  
  
“Hey Lily-pad,” she greeted Lily, who was stretched out on the couch, reading her phone, “How was your evening?”  
  
  
Lily swung her body up and smirked secretly as she stretched her hands out in front of her.  
  
  
“Excellent,” she replied, as she stood in one fluid movement, “Very relaxing.”  
  
  
Tara crossed her arms lightly on her chest.  
  
  
“How’s Em?”  
  
  
“Uh, she went for a walk and then went right back up to bed. She was sleeping when I went up a while ago,” Lily replied, stuffing her hands into her jeans pockets.  
  
  
Tara nodded evenly.  
  
  
“It’s late. You should go to bed too.”  
  
  
Lily slowly smirked.  
  
  
“You finally showing Momma what we’ve been working on?” she asked and when Tara nodded, grinned further, “I’ll whip out the earplugs.”  
  
  
“Lily,” Tara said with a disapproving click of her tongue, though didn’t correct Lily and a blush spread across her cheeks.  
  
  
Lily held her hands up and shrugged as she backed out of the room.  
  
  
“You can’t raise me to be sex-positive and then get mad when I’m positive about sex.”  
  
  
Tara frowned unsurely.  
  
  
“Did I do that?”  
  
  
“You let Robyn preach at me,” Lily replied, grinning on one side.  
  
  
“Nobody ‘lets’ Robyn do anything,” Tara sighed, “As you well know.”  
  
  
Lily winked and disappeared.  
  
  
Tara shook her head and sat down on the couch. She spotted something sticking out of the corner and plucked it from the sofa. A crumpled condom wrapper rustled between her fingers.  
  
  
She stared at it for a moment, then quickly stuffed it back down. Nothing would ruin this lovely night for them.  
  
  
As Lily stepped onto the first stair, she spotted Willow coming out of the kitchen with two full glasses of red wine.  
  
  
“Goodnight Momma.”  
  
  
“Night panda bear,” Willow smiled at her daughter, “Is Em okay?”  
  
  
“Long as you keep the noise down,” Lily called in a sing-song voice before disappearing around the corner upstairs.  
  
  
Willow frowned unsurely and continued into the living room.  
  
  
Tara had moved over to sit at the upright piano they’d gotten Lily for her 16th birthday. Tara gestured Willow over.  
  
  
“Come over here.”  
  
  
Willow came over and sat as best she could on the little seat Tara was already sitting on.  
  
  
“Not as comfortable as the couch but I’ll go anywhere you are. Especially when I’m forced to sit close.”  
  
  
She offered one glass of wine.  
  
  
“Hold it for me for a second?” Tara requested.  
  
  
Willow smiled curiously; wondering now what was going on.  
  
  
“Sure.”  
  
  
Tara smiled with a hint of nerves.  
  
  
“I want to show you something.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyebrows arched.  
  
  
“Normally you only let me see your ‘surprise’ upstairs.”  
  
  
Tara’s lips pursed in a restrained smile.  
  
  
“All to come,” she promised and leaned in to press a kiss to Willow’s lips, “My love.”  
  
  
Willow pressed her lips together to retain the tingle left behind.  
  
  
Then Tara completely floored Willow by pressing her fingers over the keys of the piano and having actual legible, recognizable music come out.  
  
  
Tara began to sing in a quiet, angelic voice.  
  
  
“ _When the rain  
Is blowing in your face  
And the whole world  
Is on your case  
I could offer you  
A warm embrace  
To make you feel my love_”  
  
  
Still in a state of shock, it took Willow a minute to catch up on the song Tara was singing (and playing!) but then she focused on the words and felt her heart quicken.  
  
  
“ _When the evening shadows  
And the stars appear  
And there is no one there  
To dry your tears  
I could hold you  
For a million years  
To make you feel my love_”  
  
  
Tara smiled crookedly in Willow’s direction.  
  
  
“ _I know you  
Haven't made  
Your mind up yet  
But I would never  
Do you wrong  
I've known it  
From the moment  
That we met  
No doubt in my mind  
Where you belong_”  
  
  
She bumped her shoulder playfully against Willow’s.  
  
  
“ _The storms are raging  
On the rolling sea  
And on the highway of regret  
Though winds of change  
Are throwing wild and free  
You ain't seen nothing  
Like me yet_”  
  
  
She hummed softly as her fingers deftly moved across the keys.  
  
  
“ _I could make you happy  
Make your dreams come true_”  
  
  
She looked over at Willow evocatively.  
  
  
“ _Nothing that I wouldn't do_ ”  
  
  
Her eyes bore into Willow’s soul.  
  
  
“ _Go to the ends of the Earth for you_ ”  
  
  
Her lips barely opened to sing the last line.  
  
  
“ _To make you feel my love_ ”  
  
  
Her fingers long-pressed the final keys without her gaze breaking once.  
  
  
“ _To make you feel my love_ ”  
  
  
Tara’s hands fell away shyly and she looked to Willow expectantly.  
  
  
Willow had a lot to say, like ‘when’ and ‘how’ and ‘wow!’ but all that came out was a desperate lunge towards Tara’s lips.  
  
  
Tara gratefully accepted the kiss and was quite happy for it to linger. When they popped apart, foreheads and noses together and breath still sharing the same space, Tara spoke breathlessly.  
  
  
“What did you think?”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes were full of awe and love and lust and everything because Tara _was_ everything.  
  
  
“I think we’re going to need to take that wine upstairs.”  
  
  
Tara winked.  
  


* * *

  
Tara’s hands were white on the steering wheel as she waited for the light to turn green so she could get home.  
  
  
Willow had called her in the middle of the work-day, screaming, and all Tara had been able to discern was that she needed to get home.   
  
  
Now.  
  
  
Finally, she swung into the driveway and was out the door before the car had even fully stopped. She ran up to the house and let herself in.  
  
  
“Willow?” she called in alarm but could already hear her wife’s steps ricocheting angrily against the floor in their bedroom.  
  
  
She sped up the stairs, taking them two by two as JJ would when he was a lad though her knees didn’t thank her for it. She finally got to the bedroom where Willow’s face was as red as her hair and the design of the soles of her shoes had practically indented across the hardwood floors.  
  
  
Tara came over and grabbed Willow’s shoulders at the foot of their bed.  
  
  
“Willow, what on earth is going on?”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes were wild and it scared Tara. As Willow’s breath heaved, she suddenly jabbed a finger at Tara.  
  
  
“This is your fault,” she proclaimed, then threw her hands up and continued irately, “All Miss ‘ Let's Put Condoms In Their Bathroom’! And clearly, you didn’t even show her how to use one properly!”  
  
  
Tara’s head reeled back; she could count on one hand the time's Willow had addressed her like that in their thirty years. She hadn’t appreciated it any other time either.  
  
  
“First of all, you watch your damn tone, I am your wife,” she shot back sharply, making Willow smart appropriately, “Second of all, what on earth are you talking about?”  
  
  
Willow’s hand balled at her side, then she snatched up something on the bedspread that Tara hadn’t noticed before.  
  
  
“I found THIS in Lily’s bathroom.”  
  
  
She thrust the object into Tara’s hands. Tara looked down and it took her a minute to recognize it as a pregnancy test. It had been close to two decades since the last time she had held one in her hands like this.  
  
  
But in the exact moment that her brain registered what she was holding she was also slammed with a series of other realizations all at once.  
  
  
Emily, refusing to come out of her room for the past week.  
  
  
Emily, immediately running to throw up when Tara brought her up mac’n’cheese, her favorite food. Her real favorite food, not pizza like she claimed just so as not to differ from Lily.  
  
  
Emily, wearing the exact same tinge of pale on her cheeks that Tara had worn every day of her pregnancy with them.  
  
  
These memories hit Tara with such veracity that she stumbled back. The movement seemed to just fuel Willow’s ire.  
  
  
“Don’t you have anything to say?”  
  
  
With the plastic now shaking in her hands, Tara slowly looked up with wide, glassy eyes.  
  
  
“I don’t think it’s Lily.”


	4. Chapter 4

“What do you mean you don’t think it’s Lily?”  
  
  
Willow’s words echoed around Tara’s brain but she couldn’t quite bring herself to answer.  
  
  
“Is it YOU?!” Willow accused and Tara suddenly found her words.  
  
  
“Of course it's not me and for the sake of our marriage I'm going to pretend you didn't say that.”  
  
  
She bit her tongue for a half a second before her incredulity got too much.  
  
  
“I've had a hysterectomy for god sake,” she spat out of the side of her mouth, “AND I'm going through the menopause AND oh yes, I've been completely faithful to you for thirty years.”  
  
  
Willow had the decency to look guilty.  
  
  
“Okay, that was stupid. I’m sorry,” she replied sincerely, “But if it's not you and it's not Lily and it’s not ME, then…”  
  
  
Her mouth clamped closed in surprise.  
  
  
“No.”  
  
  
She resumed the pacing she’d been doing when Tara first arrived. After a few seconds of frantic back and forth, she suddenly spun back toward her wife.  
  
  
“No. No way. How even, Tara? WHEN even? With who? No.”  
  
  
Her hands waved over each other in front of her definitively.  
  
  
“There is _no way_ that Emily is pregnant.”  
  
  
Tara stayed rooted to the spot as Willow started to pace again.  
  
  
“She's been sick.”  
  
  
“It's winter!” Willow threw her hands up, “Everyone is sick!”  
  
  
“None of us are,” Tara whispered quietly, “And I've heard her throwing up in the mornings.”  
  
  
Willow slowly had the same series of realizations Tara had. She stopped in front of Tara, stricken.  
  
  
“Tara.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes filled with tears and Tara’s quickly matched them. She reached out and held Willow’s face in her hands.  
  
  
“Ssh darling,” she said in a soft, comforting tone and pulled Willow in to kiss her, ground her; ground them both.  
  
  
When they parted, her hands naturally followed the curve of Willow’s neck to rub her shoulders.  
  
  
“You've had a shock.”  
  
  
Willow took in a few heavy breaths. Her eyes flicked up to Tara.  
  
  
“Have _you_ had a shock?”  
  
  
“What?” Tara asked in confusion.  
  
  
Willow took one step back.  
  
  
“You don't seem shocked.”  
  
  
“Of course I'm shocked,” Tara replied defensively.  
  
  
One of Willow’s hands clutched her stomach.  
  
  
“You knew.”  
  
  
“I didn't,” Tara replied emphatically, then added on quietly, “Not officially.”  
  
  
Willow actually gasped.  
  
  
“But you suspected!” she pointed that finger accusingly again, “You suspected and you never said anything!”  
  
  
“I hadn’t even fully processed it until I saw the test,” Tara said, looking down on the bedspread where the offending item was staring up at them again.  
  
  
Willow let out a bitter laugh.  
  
  
“I can't believe this.”  
  
  
She walked over to the other side of the room and smacked her palm against the wall.  
  
  
Tara wiped her sleeve over her brow and glanced at the time on the alarm clock on Willow’s nightstand.  
  
  
“The girls are going to be home from school soon,” she said with her heart in her throat, “Maybe you should take a walk. Clear your head.”  
  
  
“Oh, so you can take care of this all alone too,” Willow sneered with her back to Tara.  
  
  
“So you can be calm when we speak to Emily,” Tara clarified softly.  
  
  
Willow spun around, irate.  
  
  
“Calm? CALM?! OUR HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR IS PREGNANT A FEW MONTHS OUT FROM GRADUATION AND YOU WANT ME TO BE CALM?!”  
  
  
The first time they’d fought like this, Tara had backed down and cowered.  
  
  
Thirty years later, that wasn’t about to happen again.  
  
  
“If you yell at me one more time I will kick you out of this house,” she enunciated clearly and calmly, “And if you even dream of raising your voice at my child I will do the same.”  
  
  
Willow’s hand balled at her side again.  
  
  
“I'm her mother too.”  
  
  
“Start acting like it,” Tara spat back.  
  
  
Willow’s eyes bulged and then she flounced out of there, down the stairs and out the front door with a bang that reverberated so loudly that the pregnancy test fell off the bed and Miss Kitty Fantastico came out from her hiding spot in the laundry hamper and started to bat it around the place.  
  
  
Tara sat on the bedspread and held her face in her hands, squeezing the bridge of her nose between her thumb and index finger. When Miss Kitty had gotten all of the enjoyment from the little oblong object she had no idea had caused so much distress, she hopped up and sat in Tara’s lap.  
  
  
Tara absentmindedly stroked her until she felt the cat’s back rise and ears perk and she knew Emily must be about to come in the door. Miss Kitty had been acting odd lately too, Tara realized. It wasn’t unusual for the cat to cling to Emily but she had been extra purry and hadn’t left her side. She scratched Miss Kitty behind the ears and stood up to follow her down the stairs.  
  
  
Sure enough, as they got to the bottom, the door opened and Lily and Emily walked through. Lily dropped her purse on the floor and Emily put her backpack away on its dedicated hook.  
  
  
“Why won’t you come to pick out a dress for prom with me?” Lily asked in an exasperated tone, “You need one too. You can still come even if you don’t have a date.”  
  
  
“I just don’t want to,” Emily replied quietly and closed her hands over the front of her body to close herself off.  
  
  
“You’re so _lame_ lately,” Lily all but stamped her foot.  
  
  
“That’s ableist,” Emily said sadly.  
  
  
Lily rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“Who are you, Robyn?”  
  
  
Emily looked down while Lily spotted Tara and ran over excitedly.  
  
  
“Mom, I aced my English Lit exam,” she said, poking her tongue out between her teeth just like Willow would, “I wrote about that poem you always read us when we were kids.”  
  
  
“"'Hope' is the thing with feathers",” Tara supplied softly.  
  
  
Lily nodded keenly.  
  
  
“My teacher loved it.”  
  
  
Tara squeezed Lily's shoulder but she was more than a tad distracted.  
  
  
“Well done, sweetheart,” she complimented, wondering if her voice sounded as shaken to them as it did to her, “How did you do, Emily?”  
  
  
“She had to get a resit,” Lily said, apparently not noticing any weirdness in her mother.  
  
  
Tara frowned.  
  
  
“Why?”  
  
  
“Had to go to the nurse again,” Lily nodded quickly.  
  
  
“Emily can answer for herself,” Tara replied a bit harshly and Lily did look at her strangely this time.  
  
  
“Everyone is so lame lately,” she rolled her eyes, then looked at Tara hopefully, “Mom, can I drive out to the mall?”  
  
  
“Sure,” Tara replied, her eyes on Emily.  
  
  
Lily’s eyes widened with delight.  
  
  
“Really?”  
  
  
She hadn’t been allowed out much to drive since _the last time_.  
  
  
Tara seemed to recall in time and turned to her one-minute-older daughter.  
  
  
“If you have another accident, your driving privileges will be revoked for the rest of the year. Just because Nanna Rose bought you the car doesn’t mean we don’t control your access to it. Do you want to be stuck on self-drive?”  
  
  
“I _know_ ,” Lily replied emphatically, “And, no, I don’t! Only lame-os use self-drive.”  
  
  
Tara arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“Watch the attitude.”  
  
  
Lily bit her lip long enough to get her keys.  
  
  
“ _Lame_ ,” she whispered under her breath before turning back to wave dramatically, “Bye, family!”  
  
  
She got out of there before she was denied again.  
  
  
Emily watched her go and then her eyes fell unsurely toward Tara.  
  
  
Tara moved forward and put an arm around Emily’s shoulders.  
  
  
“Let’s go have a chat.”  
  
  
Emily startled but didn’t have much choice to allow Tara to lead her into the living room.  
  
  
“Do you need a drink, Emily?” Tara asked before she took a seat beside Emily on the couch.  
  
  
Emily shook her head.  
  
  
“I have my water bottle.”  
  
  
Tara paused and considered her daughter for a moment as she nervously glugged down from her reusable water bottle.  
  
  
Emily didn’t often glug like that.  
  
  
She never took, nor asked, for more than she needed.  
  
  
When Rose got Lily a shiny new red Chevy Malibu for her 16th birthday, Emily had been happy to take Robyn’s electric Skoda Citigo as a hand-me-down and asked Rose to pay Robyn instead so Robyn could fund her year overseas. Having just paid for that Citigo new two years previously, Rose had pursed her lips at the request but did as asked.  
  
  
For her 16th birthday when Willow and Tara had gotten Lily a piano, all Emily asked for was a cat and a donation to the animal shelter from which she was received. Tara had gotten them both a special necklace with an Opel, their birthstone, set in diamonds to mark the occasion but Emily was always too afraid to wear it lest she break it or lose it or somehow wear it down for someone that wasn’t a Big Occasion but Lily’s swung around her neck most days.  
  
  
Even when they were little on Halloween, their birthday, she and Lily would pool their candy and she would take one piece of each type and let Lily (and secretly, Willow) have the rest.  
  
  
Miss Kitty was on Emily’s lap now, which wasn’t surprising. Emily’s fingers rubbed her fur in a steady, calming rhythm.  
  
  
Tara tried to appear as comfortable as she could in the seat and gently patted Emily’s knee.  
  
  
“You were sick again, koala bear?” she asked gently, “I think it’s time to take you to the doctor.”  
  
  
She felt Emily’s legs tense under her. Tara closed her eyes and slowly opened them again.  
  
  
“Emily,” she said quietly.  
  
  
Emily’s head slowly turned up to Tara.  
  
  
She still looked so young, Tara thought. Her glasses were falling down her nose and her hair fell into her eyes. Eyes that shone with innocence and timidness that had blossomed into fear.  
  
  
It took about three seconds of Emily receiving that gaze for her to know that her mother knew. Her upper teeth bit the back of her lip and she looked away again as her leg began to shake.  
  
  
“Emily,” Tara repeated, softly and evocatively, “Look at me, koala bear.”  
  
  
Emily didn’t.  
  
  
Tara rubbed Emily’s back in even circles. Everything felt surreal; like she was with a client going through this situation and not her own daughter.  
  
  
She slid her hand into the front pocket of her sweater and closed her palm around the pregnancy test. She brought it out and put it between them silently.  
  
  
Emily’s eyes flitted over and she felt her world come crashing down.  
  
  
After several long, tense moments Emily finally looked up. The look in her eyes broke Tara’s heart.  
  
  
“I’m so sorry, Mom,” she said in a quiet, scared whisper, “I-I didn’t mean…I-I didn’t mean for…”  
  
  
Tara had so many questions. So many. But Emily got there first.  
  
  
“Does Momma know?”  
  
  
Tara had to stop and bring herself back into the moment. Finding herself suddenly unable to speak, she just nodded.  
  
  
Emily’s eyes filled with tears.  
  
  
“Does she hate me?”  
  
  
Tara very quickly found her voice.  
  
  
“It’s a very big shock for us all. But Momma loves you. And I love you. And nothing could change that. Ever.”  
  
  
She held Emily’s face in her hands.  
  
  
“We love you, Emily. Forever and always.”  
  
  
Emily could only sustain Tara’s gaze for a moment. Things were becoming much too real, much too quickly. She’d only done the test that morning and she’d been in a daze ever since. She’d gotten in trouble in class for not paying attention and Lily had been on her all day for acting weird.  
  
  
How could this happen to _her_?  
  
  
She knew, of course.  
  
  
There was only one possibility.  
  
  
And now she was going to be—  
  
  
She stood up abruptly before the thought could even form.  
  
  
“I never changed Miss Kitty’s litter box.”  
  
  
“It can wait, honey,” Tara replied but Emily was already out the door.  
  
  
“No, I have to do it right now!”  
  
  
Miss Kitty dashed after Emily and Tara dashed after them both.  
  
  
“Emily, no,” she called after her daughter but Emily was almost manic in her need to get this task done.  
  
  
She caught Emily’s arms and clutched her.  
  
  
“Emily,” she said, her heart pounding in her chest, yet somehow managing to keep her tone soft, “It’s not safe for the baby.”  
  
  
She released her grip.  
  
  
“I’ll do it.”  
  
  
Emily’s mouth clamped closed.  
  
  
“Oh.”  
  
  
As Tara made quick work of changing the litter, Emily stared blankly ahead as two words she hadn’t contemplated until now roamed around her mind.  
  
  
_The baby._  
  
  
Somehow, in all of this, she hadn’t actually considered that there was an actual baby involved, or at least, would be.  
  
  
Tara was washing her hands when Emily started to fall to her knees.  
  
  
“ _Mommy_.”  
  
  
Tara was there in a flash, picking up her daughter before she hit the ground. She brought her back to the couch and just held her daughter tucked under her chin as she started to cry.  
  
  
Tara stroked Emily’s back until she had no tears left, after which she began to whisper.  
  
  
“Hope is the thing with feathers,” she recited softly, “That perches in the soul.”  
  
  
She kissed the top of Emily’s head.  
  
  
“And sings the tune without the words.”  
  
  
Her eyes closed and under her, Emily’s did the same.  
  
  
“And never stops at all.”  
  


* * *

  
When Lily texted Tara to ask if she could stay out for dinner with her friends, Tara shot back a quick yes despite normally insisting they all have dinner together.  
  
  
She got a quick response back that she was _so not lame!_ and closed her eyes again to wrap her arm back around Emily, who had cried herself to sleep. Tara didn’t know what else to do. Their whole family’s life was about to change, one way or the other.  
  
  
Miss Kitty was curled at Emily’s feet and didn’t move even when the front door opened again.  
  
  
Tara opened her eyes in time for Willow to wander into the living room, looking a little bit lost.  
  
  
Their eyes met for a moment before Willow dropped into the armchair, exhausted. Her eyes and cheeks were red and her whole body was slumped forward.  
  
  
“Have you spoken to her?” she whispered, hollow.  
  
  
“Not really,” Tara replied with a raw voice, “She knows that we know. I don’t know any details.”  
  
  
Miss Kitty jumped down and started rubbing against Willow’s leg. Willow picked her up and started absentmindedly petting her.  
  
  
Emily stirred from the shift in movement in the room and slowly sat up. There was a precious second or two as she rubbed her eyes where she forgot everything that was going on.  
  
  
Until she saw her parents’ faces.  
  
  
She immediately grew even paler and Miss Kitty jumped back to attend to her.  
  
  
The poor cat, Tara thought, unsure of who she needed to comfort most.  
  
  
Tara didn’t know either.  
  
  
“Emily,” Willow’s voice was still hollow, “We have a lot to talk about.”  
  
  
Emily cowered and Tara put an arm around her shoulders for support.  
  
  
Willow’s eyes flashed with anger.  
  
  
“How in the hell did this happen?”  
  
  
This time, the anger was pouring from Tara.  
  
  
“Don’t speak to her like that.”  
  
  
“She owes us an explanation,” Willow replied tetchily.  
  
  
“I-I was stupid,” Emily cut in to stop the arguing.  
  
  
“Tell us how, sweetheart,” Tara encouraged gently, “Tell us what happened. We love you.”  
  
  
Emily looked down and squirmed uncomfortably. She took her time to speak, during which time Willow’s leg grew increasingly bouncy.  
  
  
“I-I went to a party with Lily. It was Emmett’s birthday,” she paused and sniffled, “These j-jerks were making fun of me.”  
  
  
Her voice quietened.  
  
  
“They always make fun of me.”  
  
  
Both Tara and Willow swallowed deeply and avoided each other’s gazes.  
  
  
“Keep going sweetheart,” Tara said, trying to keep her voice neutral.  
  
  
Emily looked down at Miss Kitty in her lap and continued to stroke her back; something to focus on.  
  
  
“T-then this guy came over and distracted them and I just wanted to get out of there so I left and he f-followed.”  
  
  
Tara tensed and Emily felt it because she quickly looked over.  
  
  
“No, it wasn’t like that. I-I…” she paused, embarrassed, “I asked him to do it and then there was a bottle of something in an ice bucket and I drank it and I tried to forget about it but now…now…”  
  
  
She suddenly felt a nausea wave over her and clutched her stomach. She looked down at her hand and shut her eyes tight.  
  
  
Willow suddenly pushed back and stood up.  
  
  
“What’s this guy’s name? What did he look like?”  
  
  
Emily looked up with wide eyes full of fear and her lips twitching with shame.  
  
  
“I-I can’t remember. H-He was wearing a mask.”  
  
  
“He got you drunk!” Willow espoused with a fiery toss of her hands upward.  
  
  
Emily shook her head and Tara squeezed her shoulders.  
  
  
“Sweetheart, he took advantage of you.”  
  
  
Emily shook her head even more frantically.  
  
  
“I-I took advantage of him,” she said with her stomach twisting in knots, “O-or maybe we took advantage of each other. I-I don’t know. But I pushed for it. I-I got drunk after. On my own. On my own. I asked him to leave and he did but he tried to make sure I was okay first. I didn’t see him for the rest of the night.”  
  
  
Tara tried to look over at Willow but she was mid-pace and directing her gaze angrily at the floor.  
  
  
“Why, sweetheart?” Tara prompted Emily instead, “Why him when you didn’t know him? Did you really like him?”  
  
  
“He was nice to me,” Emily played with her sleeve just as Tara had at her age when feeling awkward, “I just wanted them to stop calling me that stupid name.”  
  
  
“What name?” Tara asked, frowning.  
  
  
Emily’s jaw set with humiliation.  
  
  
“Virgi-ly.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes bugged upon hearing that.  
  
  
“Tell me everything you know about this guy. I will track him down. I don't need much. I've spent two decades doing this.”  
  
  
Emily looked up, alarmed.  
  
  
“No, Momma.”  
  
  
Willow’s gaze was steely.  
  
  
“You’re not in a position to deny me right now.”  
  
  
Tara frowned deeply but for once, Emily didn’t back down, albeit timidly.  
  
  
“This is my mistake. I have to deal with it.”  
  
  
“And how exactly are you going to deal with it?” Willow asked in a harsh tone.  
  
  
Emily’s eyes darted everywhere with the weight of expectation.  
  
  
“Let her breathe for a second, Willow,” Tara tried to keep calm amongst all of the angst.  
  
  
Willow’s eyes flew to Tara.  
  
  
“She needs to understand the gravity of this.”  
  
  
“I think she’s well aware,” Tara shot back with eyes growing just as wild.  
  
  
Emily stood up, making Miss Kitty fly off her lap.  
  
  
“P-Please stop fighting!”  
  
  
She burst into fresh tears and ran away, her footsteps pounding on the stairs moments later.  
  
  
Willow took a step forward to follow her but Tara stood and put her arm out to block her.  
  
  
“Let her go. She needs time.”  
  
  
“Time for what?” Willow spat back.  
  
  
“To process what’s happened,” Tara replied, unable to keep the annoyed tone out of her voice, “So do we. We need to be there for her whatever she decides.”  
  
  
Willow’s jaw tensed.  
  
  
“She needs to decide to go back in time and not make this stupid mistake.”  
  
  
Tara opened her mouth but Willow held up a hand and sped out of there.  
  
  
“I don’t want to hear it!”  
  
  
Tara stayed stuck to the spot for several surreal moments before finally sinking back down onto the couch.  
  
  
Miss Kitty came up and wound around her legs.  
  
  
It seemed it was Tara’s turn to be comforted.  
  
  
She needed it.


	5. Chapter 5

“What is happening lately?”  
  
  
Emily dragged her gaze away from the living room window where she’d been looking aimlessly and focused on Lily, looking bored as she held her English textbook in her lap while sitting in a beanbag.  
  
  
“Huh?”  
  
  
Lily closed her book and let it slide off. She had an A in English anyway and rarely had ever needed to study for a test. She threw her eyes upward disparagingly.  
  
  
“We’re supposed to be the hormonal teenagers but they’re the ones at each other’s throats the last few days. They never fight. What’s going on?”  
  
  
When Emily stopped listening to the pounding of her heart and rushing of her blood, that seemed a constant lately as she processed the situation she’d found herself in, she could hear the creak of floorboards from directly above.   
  
  
Her parents’ room.   
  
  
Muffled voices carried out strained tones through the ceiling.  
  
  
Her heart sank.  
  
  
They’d been trying to keep it behind closed doors but her parents _had_ been fighting pretty much non-stop since they’d found out about her ‘situation’. It had been so hard for Emily to try and deal with alone with no real friends to turn to and not even Lily, who’d been her other half since the womb, there to talk to.   
  
  
It still felt like a dream. Other girls got into this situation, not her. A boy had never so much as looked at her before, not that she noticed.   
  
  
She barely even remembered the night in question except feeling drunk on a sip of schnapps with no food in her stomach and all but attacking the nice boy who had saved her from the teasing. She just kept thinking if only she could make the nickname untrue, it wouldn’t hold any power…  
  
  
Honestly, she hadn't been sure that the ‘act’ had even occurred until she saw those two lines on the pregnancy test. It was a blur. She felt so guilty.   
  
  
For letting down her parents.  
  
  
For the guy she’d used and disposed of.  
  
  
For the growing life in her stomach that she felt a failure to already. Was it even a growing life? She had no idea what she considered ‘it’ yet. She knew she felt guilt for considering it an ‘it’ though. She didn’t feel capable of a single thought or action that didn’t carry guilt anymore.  
  
  
“Hel- _loo_ , earth to Emily,” Lily waved her hand in Emily’s face, “Where the hell have you been lately? Is it that stupid stomach flu you’ve got going on? We know it isn’t mono.”  
  
  
She chuckled as she fell into the couch beside Emily and leaned her head on her sister’s shoulder.  
  
  
“Oh come on, little sis, I’m just teasing.”  
  
  
Emily snapped to attention when Lily’s elbow nudged her ribs.  
  
  
She tried to replay the conversation but only recalled ‘stomach flu’.   
  
  
Her gaze slowly turned toward Lily. Her mouth opened and nothing but a hoarse breath came out at first, but then there were words.  
  
  
“It’s not the flu.”   
  
  
Lily rolled her eyes dramatically.  
  
  
“Virus, then. Pedantic much? You really _are_ getting more like Robyn. Maybe you should take her room.”  
  
  
A louder Willow-toned yell came from above and Emily looked up.  
  
  
Guiltily.  
  
  
“It’s my fault,” she whispered, “That they’re fighting.”  
  
  
Lily’s eyes went through a journey to land back on Emily again.  
  
  
“Okay, what’s up?” she said, throwing her legs underneath her, “I knew something was going on. You kept telling me it was PMS but hello, I’m your twin. I know your cycle. I see when you take pads in the bathroom and you haven’t taken any in weeks!”  
  
  
She pushed Emily’s shoulder.  
  
  
“Spill! How’d you piss off the ‘rents? It’s about time you showed some teenage rebellion.”  
  
  
She grinned as she bounced lightly on the seat, but it suddenly faltered at the sullen look on Emily’s face.  
  
  
“Wait, are you really sick? Are you going to be okay?!”  
  
  
She clutched Emily’s arm, who looked down at her sister’s fingers digging into her skin and inhaled a short breath.  
  
  
“I’m pregnant.”  
  
  
There was a pause, then Lily started to laugh, the red hair flowing past her shoulders swishing from side to side.  
  
  
“You haven’t lost your sense of humor, that’s for sure.”  
  
  
Emily looked up and met Lily’s gaze with her own fraught one.  
  
  
“I’m serious, Lily,” she whispered in a pained tone.  
  
  
“Oh yeah,” Lily nodded with mock-seriousness, “Emily, I know you’re not up on such things, _but you have to have sex to get pregnant_. That whole sperm-on-the-toilet-seat thing is a myth.”  
  
  
Emily remained silent.   
  
  
Long enough that Lily’s mouth began to twitch. Her hand fell from Emily’s arm.  
  
  
“What are you talking about?! You’re not pregnant!”  
  
  
Great. Now she’d let her sister down too.  
  
  
“I did the test,” Emily replied, reaching up to make sure her glasses didn’t fall from her face when her gaze was directed toward the floor, “I did a lot of tests.”  
  
  
When it became clear that Emily wasn’t taking a joke too far, Lily stumbled back off the couch.  
  
  
“You did a lot of tests?!” she shouted, “Who did you sleep with?!”  
  
  
“Some guy at a party,” Emily gulped.  
  
  
“SOME GUY AT A PARTY?!” Lily repeated and clutched her head as she began to walk in circles, “WHY WOULD YOU—OH MY—WHY?!”   
  
  
Emily’s lower jaw shook with shame.  
  
  
“They kept calling me that name,” she started to cry, “I didn’t want it to be true anymore so I just…did it.”  
  
  
Lily spun around, irate.  
  
  
“Virgi-ly?” her mouth popped each letter, “You got knocked up because some knuckleheads called you a virgin?!”  
  
  
She threw her hands up.  
  
  
“You’re not even Virgi-ly now, I am!”  
  
  
Emily frowned in confusion.  
  
  
“I-I didn’t do it on purpose,” she said softly.  
  
  
“Oh, well that’s okay then!” Lily scoffed sarcastically, “So, what? What are you going to do now, have a baby?!”  
  
  
Emily gulped again.  
  
  
“I don’t know,” she answered honestly.  
  
  
“You’re sure indecisive for someone who opened her legs without questioning it!” Lily spat and even she knew it was unfair but neither was this situation, in her eyes, “What about our plans, Emily?!”   
  
  
She threw her arms up demonstrably.  
  
  
“We were going to go to New York and break Broadway, we were going to become famous twin actresses! Like The Olsen Twins but cuter and without all the child star baggage!”  
  
  
“Your plans,” Emily said as quietly as she’d said anything that evening.  
  
  
“What?” Lily asked with wild eyes and a harsh tone.  
  
  
Emily looked up and found some strength from somewhere to say something to Lily that she’d always wanted to.  
  
  
“They were always _your_ plans.”  
  
  
Lily’s jaw tensed.  
  
  
“Right and apparently _yours_ is to shoot out a, a _kid_ in high school. I know which path I’d rather be on.”  
  
  
She suddenly grabbed a cushion and flung it at Emily, though it missed on purpose.  
  
  
“YOU’VE RUINED EVERYTHING.”  
  
  
Emily didn’t see her go because the cushion knocked her glasses off of her face, but she did hear the door bang, and then a car skid out of the driveway. Moments late,r there were steps on the stairs and then someone was handing her glasses. She put them on and looked up.  
  
  
“T-thanks, Mom,” she said, wiping her sleeve over her face to brush any dirt off.  
  
  
“What’s going on?” Tara replied, holding Emily’s shoulders as she looked out the living room bay window.  
  
  
Emily swallowed audibly.  
  
  
“I-I told Lily,” she said, her face scrunched, ready to cry, “S-She was upset. S-She took the car.”  
  
  
“I’ll go after her,” Willow said and Emily noticed for the first time that she was hanging out in the doorway, or at least she was before she bolted out to follow Lily in her Tesla.  
  
  
Tara held her chin in her hands and closed her eyes for a brief moment before they opened, troubled, toward Emily.  
  
  
“We have to talk, koala bear,” she said gently, “We need to get you to see a doctor. You need to be tested. Your mother and I agree on that.”  
  
  
Emily’s breath caught.  
  
  
“Could the test be wrong?”  
  
  
Tara’s brow scrunched.  
  
  
“For STDs, sweetheart,” she replied tenderly and Emily looked like she’d been slapped, “But we do need to get you in to see an OB/GYN and go through all of your options. With your heart and lung issues, there might be specific circumstances we have to take into account.”  
  
  
Emily sank into the sofa, though it looked like she stumbled and fell. Tara was quick to gather her into an embrace.  
  
  
“This must be very overwhelming,” she comforted, kissing the top of her daughter’s head, “I love you, Emily. Nothing will ever change that.”  
  
  
Emily started to cry.  
  
  
“They hate me. Lily and Momma. And everyone else will hate me when I tell them. And everyone in school will hate me. Oh and Zayde! Zayde will never look at me the same way again!”  
  
  
“Emily,” Tara intoned softly but insistently, “Lily and Momma are shocked. But they still love you. I promise you that. So does your grandfather. He will not love you any less when he finds out.”  
  
  
Emily cried quietly into Tara’s shoulder, who did her best to stroke her daughter’s hair and down her back. She was silent, pensive for a few moments before she started to speak again.  
  
  
“The night you were born was the scariest night of my life.”  
  
  
Emily had heard this story plenty but wasn’t in much of a position to cut in and point that out.  
  
  
“You were too early. Your Momma says you weren’t cooked yet,” Tara continued fondly, “She jokes because it was the scariest night of her life too. I ended up being out for a lot of it but she had to live it the whole way through. They took me to surgery after you were delivered and brought you and your sister up to the special baby unit. I wasn’t allowed to see you for a few days but your Momma was up there every minute I couldn’t be.”  
  
  
She kissed the top of Emily’s head.  
  
  
“Never fear, my darling. You are so loved. Nothing can change that.”  
  
  
A few miles away, the world’s most middle-class car chase ended with two cars pulled up on the grassy curb. Willow got out and locked her car before going up to Lily’s Chevy. She tried to open the passenger door, but it was locked. She knocked once, short but direct.  
  
  
“Open it.”  
  
  
The sound of unlocking came and Willow sat in beside Lily. Lily’s hands were in her lap and her gaze was directed down at them. Except for not wearing glasses, Willow could have almost mistaken her for Emily.  
  
  
Then she looked up and that fire in her eyes was all Lily.  
  
  
“How could she do this?”  
  
  
She slammed the heel oh her palm against the wheel and the horn sounded. Nothing moved but a rustle of the leaves that were growing back on the trees on the quiet suburban street.   
  
  
“How could she be so stupid?”  
  
  
Willow’s teeth clenched. She’d like to blow the horn too, until it rang loud enough to counteract the buzzing in her head.  
  
  
“I don’t know.”  
  
  
They lapsed into silence, both with the same intensely taut set of their jaw and eyes that flashed between fury and fright.  
  
  
Many minutes passed with neither of them speaking.   
  
  
Finally, Lily cast her eyes over to Willow furtively.  
  
  
“I got an audition for Julliard.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes bugged and her head flew up.  
  
  
“What?!” she said, her mouth hanging open, “I begged you to apply, you said you wouldn’t.”  
  
  
Lily gulped.  
  
  
“I did. Emmett encouraged me.”  
  
  
Willow blinked several times, shaking her head.  
  
  
“Why didn’t you tell us?”  
  
  
“I just wanted to see if I could,” Lily said, starting to slip into her typical defensive tone, “I can’t actually _go_.”  
  
  
Willow frowned.  
  
  
“Why not?”  
  
  
Lily’s eyes narrowed and shot sideways at Willow, all but screaming ‘duh’.  
  
  
“Because Emily wouldn’t get in.”  
  
  
Emily didn’t sing or play an instrument and though they did drama classes together, Emily always volunteered to help with sets instead of trying out for parts, but Lily wasn’t that worried about them becoming famous actresses together. Once they were out of school and around cool New York people, Emily would come out of her shell and Lily could catch her up. She was sure of it. It was no big deal. They’d be in the same college after all; they could take the same classes and Lily would pull Emily up when she needed it.  
  
  
Well, she _had_ been sure of it. She had no idea how a _baby_ was going to fit in with Brooklyn house parties and nightclub VIP rooms and being backstage at shows sipping rosé.  
  
  
“When’s the audition?” Willow disturbed Lily from her thoughts.  
  
  
Lily needed a moment to re-frame her thoughts.  
  
  
“In two weeks,” she answered, uncharacteristically quiet.  
  
  
Willow paused, but only for a moment.  
  
  
“I’ll take you.”  
  
  
Lily’s brow furrowed.   
  
  
“Lily, all of our lives just got turned upside down,” Willow said, holding a hand up helplessly, “I don’t know what the hell is going on. But I’m not letting another daughter throw her life away.”  
  
  
Lily didn’t even know which other daughter Willow was thinking of at that moment. Willow didn’t either.  
  
  
Lily’s eyes darted back and forth as she decided what she wanted to do.  
  
  
“I don’t want to tell anyone. It’ll make me fuck up if I have all of their… expectations,” she paused and waited for Willow to side-eye her for swearing, but she didn’t, “Besides, it’s not exactly the _best_ time right now.”  
  
  
“Okay,” Willow replied, gnawing on the corner of her lip, “We’ll tell them we’re doing some TARA tune-ups. You helped me last summer when it was rolling out. They'll believe it.”  
  
  
Lily’s eyebrows rose slowly.  
  
  
“Seriously? You’d lie to Mom?”  
  
  
Willow’s jaw tensed.  
  
  
She hesitated.  
  
  
But only for a moment.  
  
  
“It’s important for me,” she said, then frowned, “I mean for you.”   
  
  
Lily found some wisps of excitement tickling the back of her neck at the thought that she would actually get to go to New York City and audition for _Julliard_.  
  
  
“At least _someone_ is looking out for me,” she rolled her eyes, then threw herself across the car at Willow, “You’re the best, Momma.”  
  
  
Willow found herself clinging on just as hard. She closed her eyes and remembered when the twins were babies and how easy it had all been.  
  
  
It hadn’t, of course.  
  
  
They had been in the NICU and then when they finally for home, Tara was in the depths of a mental health crisis, and then caring for three under three hadn’t exactly been a walk in the park either, even with them both at their full health. Lily was a terror until she got intervention for her ADHD and they hadn’t even realized Emily needed glasses because Lily always shouted louder and demanded all of the attention.  
  
  
It was easy to reminisce, though.  
  
  
The splashy baths and their alert eyes when Tara would sing Frère Jacques. Dressing them up as Thing 1 and Thing 2. Falling asleep with Tara on their rocking couch with a baby each sleeping soundly on their chests in a milk coma.  
  
  
An actual tear came to her eye as the imagined the weight of those expectations dashed.  
  
  
Not if she had anything to do about it.  
  
  
She busied herself with opening the door to hide her face.  
  
  
“If I let you drive yourself home do you promise to stop at every stop sign?”  
  
  
Lily rolled her eyes dramatically.  
  
  
“You run one stop sign…”  
  
  
“And tear your bumper clean off on the opposite wall…” Willow finished the sentence with an arched eyebrow.  
  
  
Lily gave a relenting sigh.  
  
  
“I promise. I’ll only go 40.”  
  
  
“The speed limit is 30,” Willow frowned disapprovingly.  
  
  
Of course, she wasn’t immune to giving the occasional and eco-friendly rev of her car on an empty road but she wasn’t about to tell Lily that.  
  
  
“Alright, alright,” Lily turned the key to turn the engine on, “No more than 35, tops.”  
  
  
Willow shot a last stern look across the car before getting out and back into her own. She got out in front so Lily was forced to abide by the speed she chose to set.  
  
  
In the driveway, Lily slammed the car door and marched past Willow with a look of teenage derision.  
  
  
“The baby is probably born already with how long it took us to get home,” she muttered and marched on through to the house and right upstairs. Bypassing hers and Emily’s room, she marched into Robyn’s room and slammed the door behind her there too.  
  
  
Still in the driveway, Willow was stuck on the spot.  
  
  
The _baby_?  
  
  
That made it all too real.  
  
  
No, no, no, no, no.  
  
  
It just couldn’t be.  
  
  
She was still in her forties, dammit.  
  
  
Even if it was just for another month.  
  
  
She followed Lily inside and deposited her keys in the bowl but instead of going upstairs, she went into the living room where she could hear Emily and Tara talking.  
  
  
They both had red eyes and were in a warm embrace.  
  
  
Tara looked up when Willow walked in and held out her hand, but Willow didn’t take it; instead, sitting on the arm of the chair.  
  
  
“She didn’t get far,” Willow said of Lily, exhaustion pouring through her voice, “No more awry bumpers.”  
  
  
What once would have been a joke felt bitter and flat.  
  
  
Tara nodded quietly and squeezed Emily’s shoulders.  
  
  
“Emily’s going to go to see Dr. Wells to discuss her options.”  
  
  
Willow's face conveyed the same message as her tone.  
  
  
“There’s only one option.”  
  
  
Tara’s wide eyes flew to her wife.  
  
  
“Willow!”  
  
  
“She’s a teenager!” Willow almost hissed.  
  
  
Tara extracted herself and stood up between Willow and Emily, whose gaze was on the floor again.  
  
  
“Upstairs.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes flashed with anger.  
  
  
“Do not treat me like the child in this situation.”  
  
  
“Do not act like one,” Tara returned through gritted teeth.  
  
  
Willow stared angrily at Tara for a tense second, then pushed off and stomped upstairs.  
  
  
Tara held her face in her hands for a moment then turned back around.  
  
  
“Emily, are you okay?”  
  
  
Emily nodded sadly.  
  
  
“Yeah, Mom. I’m okay.”  
  
  
Tara stroked Emily’s back from her standing position.  
  
  
“Your choice is entirely yours. We love you.”  
  
  
She kissed the top of Emily’s head.  
  
  
“I have to go speak to your mother. Will you be okay?”  
  
  
Emily nodded again and leaned forward with her hands clasped between her knees.  
  
  
Her head hung forward as her mind swarmed with more of the same as she heard muffled loud voices from above. She felt a stab in her heart with every loud echoing of a pounding foot.  
  
  
Guilt.  
  
  
Guilt.  
  
  
Guilt.


	6. Chapter 6

“Ready, kiddo?”  
  
  
Things almost felt normal in the house as Willow addressed Lily, just the two of them in the kitchen with the rest of the house in silent darkness.  
  
  
Normal, except neither of them was usually up at the crack of dawn.  
  
  
“Ready,” Lily nodded, fixing her backpack over her back, “What time is the—?”  
  
  
Willow put her finger against her lips and Lily nodded quickly, understanding.  
  
  
They left the sleeping houses and got into Willow’s car, heading in the direction of the train station.  
  


* * *

  
New York City was less of a stranger to Willow than it had been even a few years ago.  
  
  
They were up and down when JJ was in college and since he and Cleo had gotten their own place in Tribeca they’d been down for some dinner parties with them and Cleo’s parents. Especially since train technology had come on so much and it was such a quick trip these days. She and Tara had enjoyed a few Broadway shows (as had Lily, but not usually with them) and for a couple of anniversaries they had come down and gone out for a fancy dinner.   
  
  
They’d all seen Robyn off at JFK, Kayden included before he returned to Boston on the train, and JJ and Cleo had taken Lily and Emily off to see a matinee so Willow and Tara could have some space to themselves to process not seeing their daughter for a year while she went off to a dangerous part of the world.  
  
  
So New York City had been a place of loss and reunification and letting go and fun and family and now Willow found herself looking out the window of a car at the busy streets wondering if that last one would ever be the same.   
  
  
She pictured Tara’s face when she’d told her she and Lily would be gone from early until late. Tense from all of their fighting but quiet, trusting.   
  
  
She looked over at Lily who was nervously tapping out the piano piece she would play later that day against her thighs. Her fingers were dexterous and fluid and she had the kind of rhythm that she certainly didn’t get from Willow.  
  
  
Tara would be so proud of her.  
  
  
If she knew.  
  
  
The car drove itself around the Lincoln Center and pulled up outside the Julliard building. Willow waited for the tick on her phone to say she’d paid before exiting. Lily had been much quicker to jump out and was just staring up at the signage with that famous name.  
  
  
She’d spent so long denying this was something she truly wanted; that it could even ever be real. Years of emotion she’d only allowed herself to believe in the last number of weeks, all the while keeping it from the one person who had been her go-to for everything.   
  
  
She and Emily hadn’t even talked since the day Lily had found out about the pregnancy. She’d been staying in Robyn’s room and they’d been taking separate cars to school.  
  
  
It had been a pretty miserable couple of weeks in the Rosenberg-Maclay household with nobody speaking to each other and everybody walking around, sullen. Pretending what was going on, wasn’t until Emily had her appointment with Dr. Wells to discuss her options.   
  
  
But today was about Lily.  
  
  
She was auditioning twice today, once for the music program and once for the drama program.   
  
  
Lily didn’t even know yet which department she’d prefer. She hadn’t had enough time to contemplate it as a reality. She honestly hadn’t even considered even getting in yet. She loved both music and acting.  
  
  
She’d applied to Barnard College and Colombia and NYU because Willow had been insistent she try for a BA she’d also applied to the BFA program in the American Musical and Dramatic Academy and also Vassar but that was serious safety school territory because no offense to Poughkeepsie, but Lily definitely did not want to live there. She’d lived in New York _State_ long enough. It was her time to shine in the city. That much she knew for sure.  
  
  
Or at least she had known before Emily had completely thrown things into disarray. Lily didn’t even know if her sister was going to keep the thing or not yet.   
  
  
Lily nearly jumped when Willow put a hand on her shoulder.  
  
  
“Here we go, Lil. You ready?”  
  
  
Lily nodded quickly.  
  
  
“Always.”  
  
  
It was true.  
  
  
She was always on.  
  


* * *

  
Willow stood in the middle of the plaza at the Lincoln Center and watched the water fountain spout up with perfect synchronicity.  
  
  
She smiled softly as she looked around. This was certainly the place for Lily. She could almost _smell_ the performance in the air as if it were a hidden layer amongst all of the other components that made up the New York City air system.  
  
  
To her left was the Opera House, to her right the ballet. Theater, jazz, film. And just around the corner, a four-minute walk through Broadway, was The Julliard School.   
  
  
Willow would be lying if she said she wouldn’t be damn proud to speak that name and the name of one of her children in the same breath. JJ went to NYU and Kayden went to MIT and yeah, okay, Robyn had bucked the trend by opting to do a gap year in South America but Willow was still hopeful she’d convince her to go to law school when she got back. Robyn would be a great lawyer. And now Julliard for…  
  
  
Well, for Lily, maybe.  
  
  
The fountain water disappeared beneath the structure and Willow saw Emily’s whole future go with it. Turning her back before she could see that that water sprung right back up again, just from different spouts, she made the walk toward Broadway.  
  
  
Lily had quite literally pushed her out the door once she knew where to go for the audition but Willow couldn’t see any harm in hanging around outside to wait and see how her daughter got on.  
  
  
She would be finished her drama audition right now, probably waiting on the piano one.   
  
  
Willow tried to kill time, she truly did. She walked around the campus; spied on the dancers rehearsing and the orchestra practicing and even stopped to get a coffee and sit on the grass to enjoy some Spring sunshine. It was a cool campus with the kind of angles and lines on the buildings that would have Kayden salivating.  
  
  
He probably had checked it out on one of their trips, but there was so much unique architecture in NYC that it was hard to determine which ones he loved and which ones he _adored_. Had he not fallen just as much with Boston as Willow had when she’d first visited, he probably would live here in the city too.  
  
  
Finally, Willow had nowhere left to wander. And she could see the sign on the door, printed and taped so plainly that it looked like a caveman drawing in an art gallery in comparison to the surrounding halls.  
  
  
Two words; inviting Willow in like the steam of a pie on an abandoned windowsill.  
  
  
Piano auditions.  
  
  
She crept over and looked around. There were students and other people milling about everywhere but no one was paying her any attention.  
  
  
And anyway, she reminded herself, she wasn’t doing anything wrong.  
  
  
She pried open the door so slowly and quietly that her fingers became indented with the angle of the frame but luckily it was a double set of doors and the small space between doors looked soundproof.  
  
  
The second door opened even more quietly; Willow couldn’t even hear the click of it closing and she was standing right next to it.   
  
  
The room felt very silent, like one of those anechoic chambers. It was an auditorium room with a small stage set up on the floor with a piano sitting on it off to the side.  
  
  
Examiners sat in the second row and other auditionees sat peppered around the room. There was a spotlight on the stage but everywhere else was dark.  
  
  
Willow sat at the top of the tiered seating and tried to spot Lily in the soft, red shadows but couldn’t see her anywhere. Normally that hair stood out anywhere but it was just too dark.  
  
  
But then she saw her.  
  
  
That long red hair that Willow had had in high school too except no one had ever called Lily a dork for it. It was long and luscious like Willow had never been able to style it. And Lily would sooner wear a trash bag to school than something Willow had picked out the way Willow had worn what Sheila wanted.  
  
  
She stood tall in her tailored suit and wore a confident smile. Willow was one of the only people on the planet who could see the nerves underneath.  
  
  
She announced her name and her piece before taking a seat at the piano and wiggling her fingers a little in preparation.  
  
  
And then they hit the keys and that anechoic chamber became an orchestra of sound.  
  
  
Willow closed her eyes and listened.  
  
  
Lily didn’t play classical music much. She learned it because she had to, but it wasn’t her passion. Still, if she didn’t make Willow believe it was her life’s work at that moment.  
  
  
Lily had always been more talented at the piano relative to how hard she worked at it. She _did_ work at it but it had always come naturally to her. It had been a key tool in helping her manage her ADHD as she could redirect that energy and emotion into the keys.  
  
  
It didn’t hurt that Willow and Tara had discovered when Lily was young that she had perfect pitch.  
  
  
It had been there since she was a tiny baby when Lily would get upset when Willow would try to sing to them and only be soothed when Tara sang again in the correct key.  
  
  
Curiously, Emily didn’t possess the same gift and had always been much more comfortable in quiet environments with a page and a pencil.   
  
  
Lily _needed_ to express loudly and Emily _needed_ to express quietly and that hadn’t always been the most synergistic of energies for them to try and combine as twins who felt linked in a way that no one else could ever understand. In different ways, it had made them both lose out.   
  
  
But now Lily was here, doing this without even her twin’s knowledge.  
  
  
Or her mother’s.  
  
  
Willow closed her eyes guiltily but made herself open them again, not wanting to dwell on the thought.  
  
  
She was doing this for Lily.   
  
  
She listened as the notes moved from soft and evocative to almost whimsical then right into a tempo so quick it was hard to keep up with her ears, never mind imagine how Lily was doing it with her fingers.  
  
  
Suddenly the fast and fluid notes of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata were disrupted by the shrill tinny notes of a cellphone ringing. A male voice burst out through the room.  
  
  
 _Here's to you, the one that always pulls us through, always do what you gotta do. You're one of a kind. Thank God you're mine._  
  
  
Willow’s eyes widened in horror.  
  
  
Tara’s personal ringtone.  
  
  
Lily’s piece stopped abruptly and the whole room was staring at Willow.  
  
  
With Michael Bublé still crooning, Willow tried to cup the phone to muffle it and started backing up toward the door.  
  
  
“So sorry…so, so sorry!”  
  
  
She flew through both sets of doors and answered the phone, holding it up to her ear in annoyance.  
  
  
“Not the best time.”  
  
  
She listened for a moment and her head turned up sharply.  
  
  
“What?!”  
  
  
A minute or two later, Lily came flying out of the audition room and marched toward Willow angrily.  
  
  
“Momma, what the hell?! I told you to go away! You messed up my audition!”  
  
  
Willow was just hanging up the phone and reached for Lily’s wrist.  
  
  
“We’re going home.”  
  
  
“What?” Lily replied, snatching her arm back, “Why? They said I can do it again!”  
  
  
“I’m sorry Lily but we’re going,” Willow replied urgently, “Now.”  
  
  
“Why?!” Lily was going red from frustration.  
  
  
Willow gulped.  
  
  
“Your sister is in the hospital.”  
  


* * *

  
“Sorry, sorry, whoops mega sorry, sorry!”  
  
  
Willow clapped her hand over Lily’s eyes to shield her from the horribly intimate medical procedure she witnessed as she pulled the curtain back on all of the treatment areas of the ER trying to find Tara and Emily.  
  
  
She weaved them around the medical personnel and equipment until finally, they found the right bed.  
  
  
“Emily,” Willow breathed on an exhale and pushed forward to hug her in the bed, leaving Lily spinning behind her.  
  
  
She squeezed tight and clung on, almost shaking with relief.  
  
  
Emily closed her eyes and leaned into the embrace.  
  
  
“I’m okay, Momma. I’m okay.”  
  
  
Willow looked up to hide her glassy eyes.  
  
  
“What happened?”  
  
  
Tara was standing in the corner, her arms folded over her chest.  
  
  
“She had an asthma attack from taking Tylenol.”  
  
  
Willow pulled her head back and looked at Emily.  
  
  
“Why did you take Tylenol? You know it makes you have a reaction.”  
  
  
Emily’s eyes closed.  
  
  
Tara her hand and squeezed it.  
  
  
“She didn’t know it was Tylenol,” she said quietly and cocked her head in Willow’s direction, “Can I speak to you outside?”  
  
  
Willow nodded and Tara kissed Emily’s head before clearing the space.  
  
  
Lily made her way to the other side of Emily’s bed and they shared a long look for a moment before Lily burst into tears.  
  
  
“Quooh koup, quo uwhok zoweko.”  
  
  
Emily looked moved and tears filled her eyes too.  
  
  
“Furo mef.”  
  
  
They threw their arms around each other.  
  
  
Willow followed Tara back around the curtain and down the hallway to a quiet corner away from the hustle of the busy ER.  
  
  
“I haven’t heard them use their twin-speak in years.”  
  
  
Tara spun around to face Willow and she looked less than impressed.  
  
  
“Why did it take you so long to get here?”  
  
  
Willow swallowed. She had to give up the jig now.  
  
  
“Because I was in New York.”  
  
  
Tara blinked several times.  
  
  
“City?” she clarified, her voice lowering an octave, “What…why? I worried you’d been in an accident! It’s been hours! Why didn’t you tell me that’s where you were working?”  
  
  
Willow felt like a child being scolded, and in public too.  
  
  
“Because I wasn’t working,” she admitted, biting inside her lip, “I was taking Lily to her Julliard audition.”  
  
  
Tara paused, sure she’d misheard.  
  
  
“Excuse me?” she asked, her palm reaching up to cover her heart over her collarbone, “What audition? Julliard? She wouldn’t apply. I had to talk you out of applying on her behalf. I found the application in your sock drawer. Did you actually forge an application?”  
  
  
“No!” Willow replied defensively, “She did it herself. She didn’t want anyone to know because it was less pressure.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes were piercing.  
  
  
“I am her mother,” she said in a dangerous tone, “And I am your wife. You share these things with me.”  
  
  
Willow stepped forward angrily.  
  
  
“Why is it fine for you to keep Emily’s pregnancy a secret but you’re getting on my ass for this?”  
  
  
“Willow, I did not keep it a secret from you,” Tara threw her hands up as the spoke in hushed tones to hide their fight from the patients being brought to and from the ER through the same hallway.  
  
  
They both breathed heavily for a moment and Tara’s brow slowly creased.  
  
  
“You truly believe that I knew, don’t you?”  
  
  
Willow couldn’t meet Tara’s gaze. Tara’s shoulders slumped.  
  
  
“I thought after all of these years you would trust that my word is good enough. I guess I was wrong. I was certainly wrong to think that yours is,” she said quietly, “By the way, our daughter felt so ashamed about this pregnancy that she bought abortion pills online and it put her in the hospital.”  
  
  
Willow’s mouth almost hit the floor.  
  
  
“You said it was Tylenol.”  
  
  
“It was. They were fake,” Tara replied and felt the tears coming. It had been a very long day, “God knows what they could have been.”  
  
  
Willow bristled.  
  
  
“And I guess that’s my fault too.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes narrowed and the lines on her face showed her exhaustion.  
  
  
“Stop thinking of it as someone's fault, Willow, and maybe we’ll be able to get through this.”  
  
  
Willow swallowed and looked down.  
  
  
“Is she going to be okay?”  
  
  
“She’s safe,” Tara confirmed, “They’re discharging her.”  
  
  
Willow paused.  
  
  
“Is…”  
  
  
“She’s still pregnant if that’s what you’re asking. I’m moving up her appointment with Dr. Wells and if she can’t see her sooner we’ll take her to a different gynecologist. It’s been two weeks, I’m not waiting for another two.”  
  
  
Willow looked up.  
  
  
“Does this mean she’s going to—”   
  
  
“It means she has to know she has our love and support no matter what,” Tara cut her off and felt sorrow that she had to actually explain that to Willow, “I want us to see Dr. Carter.”  
  
  
“Dr. Carter is a kid’s therapist,” Willow’s brow crinkled. Dr. Varney was their marriage counselor and they hadn't seen her in a while.  
  
  
“I want us to go as a family,” Tara clarified.  
  
  
“Oh,” Willow replied. She wanted them to talk about…  
  
  
“I think you could benefit from talking to someone on your own too,” Tara spoke up and her tone had softened again, “I could ask Erin for a recommendation.”  
  
  
Willow looked away self-deprecatingly.  
  
  
“Talking about me a lot lately?”  
  
  
Tara scowled and pushed herself off the wall.  
  
  
“I’m not even going to suggest Dr. Varney because I am too mad at you right now to even communicate properly. This is happening Willow and we need to face it however it ends up.”  
  
  
Willow watched Tara walk away, slowly realizing that her wife was right.  
  
  
She opened her mouth to call Tara back, but she was already gone.  
  
  
Well, shit.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no problem spoiling my own fic to tell you there will be relief from the fighting on Friday. Thanks for sticking with me!

Tara waved to the mailman as he left their mail in the mailbox from where she was kneeling in the front garden, tending to her roses.  
  
  
“Morning, ma’am,” he replied chirpily before continuing, “Have a nice day.”  
  
  
Tara finished gathering the soil and stood up to take her gardening gloves off. She tucked them into her pocket and gently wiped her hands on the front of her jeans to dry the sweat that had formed there from being encased all morning.  
  
  
She collected the mail but nothing was exciting. Their gas bill, a coupon leaflet, and a small padded envelope addressed to Emily.  
  
  
It was usually Lily who had a fondness for online shopping but it wasn’t unusual for Emily to get new pencils or something so Tara didn’t think much of it.  
  
  
She brought the mail in along with her trowel to wash and left them both on the kitchen counter before washing her hands and leaving her trowel in to soak.  
  
  
She’d had a long conversation with her Mama this morning as she pruned her roses. It was helpful when she couldn’t visit the grave to have a spot where she felt the connection. She wondered what her mother would have said if she’d come home at sixteen, pregnant. She liked to think her mother would have been kind and understanding and gave her the room to decide how to proceed while still supporting her, the way she was trying with Emily, but it was hard. It was all she and Willow could talk, or rather fight, about.  
  
  
She didn’t even know what they were actually fighting about anymore. Willow was angry about the situation and Emily jeopardizing her future and lashing out because of it and Tara was frustrated at feeling helpless and lashing out right back. They were using each other as punching bags and it annoyed Tara even more because they _knew_ better techniques to get through their problems. They had the therapy bills to prove it.  
  
  
Everything was still so surreal.  
  
  
Emily was supposed to be going off to college in the fall, with Lily. Tara wasn’t as convinced as Lily that Emily wanted to pursue a career in acting, but she also thought college might bring her out of her shell and she would figure out her passion in life there.  
  
  
It had felt cruel to see Emily blossom in elementary and middle school and start to come out from under Lily’s thumb, only to fall back under it as a force field to protect her from ignorant bullies that spotted that beautifully sweet, shy soul and used it as target practice.  
  
  
It broke Tara’s heart that Emily had felt compelled to sleep with someone for the first time that she didn’t care about or even know just to stop the taunting. She felt like a failure that none of the ways she’d tried to intervene in the bullying had worked.  
  
  
And now there was, or could be, a baby.  
  
  
Her grandchild.  
  
  
That blew her mind for a moment while she waited for the kettle to boil for tea.  
  
  
When it whistled she blinked several times and poured it into a mug. She brought her tea to the island to sit and rest her knees after a morning spent kneeling.  
  
  
She checked her phone to see if there was anything in from Willow, but there wasn’t. That wasn’t unusual; every so often Willow would have to tinker with her voice recognition software to adapt it better to the FBI systems and it could be a delicate and time-consuming task. Since Willow hadn’t set up a company for her software, just licensed it on an exclusive contract with the FBI, it left it to her alone to fix the problems as they came up. Lily was the only of their children that had shown any interest in coding. Well, interest was a strong word, she just liked earning extra cash and Willow had used quite the incentive system with her children to encourage her own nerdy pursuits.  
  
  
If nothing else, Lily could use it as dexterity training for the piano.  
  
  
Tara hoped a day away from the house would be good for everybody. She didn’t want to spend another night trying to fall asleep with Willow’s back to her, only to be roused by Emily’s quiet sobbing alone in her bedroom. Tara had spent the last three nights spooning her daughter instead of her wife. No one was speaking to each other except to get in snide remarks, except Emily who just kept apologizing and running off to cry.  
  
  
Tara wasn’t sure how much more she could take. They were being completely dysfunctional. None of the other family or the other kids even knew what was going on. They needed intervention. Tara was going to suggest so, soon.  
  
  
Her tea was cold by the time she got out of her thoughts long enough to remember she’d made it. As she stood to refill it, Emily came down with a pale face. Tara hadn’t heard it, but she knew her daughter had been throwing up.  
  
  
“Oh, koala bear,” she said, softly touching Emily’s forehead and cheek, “Let me get you some water.”  
  
  
She took a glass down and filled it with cold water. Emily took it and sipped slowly.  
  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
  
“Sit, sweetheart,” Tara encouraged her daughter over to a stool, “Some mail came in for you.”  
  
  
She pushed the padded envelope across the island and turned her back to refresh her tea. With her back turned, she didn’t spot the shake in Emily’s hands as she lifted the envelope up with wide eyes.  
  
  
By the time she’d come back with an extra cup of cinnamon tea, her nausea avoidance aid during her own pregnancy, Emily had hidden her hands under the counter.  
  
  
“Drink this, honey. I had it running through my veins when I was pregnant with you and your sister,” Tara tried to coax a smile but didn’t quite manage, “Do you want to go to the park or something today? Get some fresh air?”  
  
  
Emily shook her head.  
  
  
“I think I just want to rest.”  
  
  
Tara smiled amiably.  
  
  
“I’ll make you mac’n’cheese tonight,” she promised.  
  
  
Emily gulped.  
  
  
“T-Thanks, Mom.”  
  
  
Tara ran her hand over Emily’s hair and kissed her daughter’s forehead.  
  
  
“You’re so strong, Emily. Never forget that.”  
  
  
Emily’s eyes closed painfully.  
  
  
Tara lingered for a second, then popped a final kiss on Emily’s parting and brought her tea into the living room to actually enjoy this time.  
  
  
She held the cup in both hands and took a moment to contemplate the silence.  
  
  
It had been so odd as their household slowly dwindled in numbers.  
  
  
The loss of JJ had been profound; the ‘man of the house’ for the life of the family and both Tara and Willow thought that Woofy’s passing not long after was down to the heartbreak of JJ leaving home. Kayden, of course, had been the other male presence and so when he went off to Boston, and they’d found themselves a house of teenage girls and middle-aged women, there had been a lack of unrequested belching but also a lot less noise.  
  
  
And Tara missed it.  
  
  
She’d liked the noise.  
  
  
Robyn and Lily made plenty, of course, but it wasn’t the same bustle of having the whole family there.  
  
  
Growing up, Tara loved silence because it meant her father wasn’t home. But her family had shown her what a house filled with love sounded like. She closed her eyes and remembered squeaking sneakers from running inside the house and the sound of game controllers being tossed across rooms and screams of ‘MOM’ when an inevitable scuttle took place.  
  
  
She found herself wondering what the new baby would call her.  
  
  
And that’s when she knew she had to get up and keep busy because that was not an okay thought to have at this moment in time.  
  
  
Thankfully there was always plenty of laundry to do in this house, even when they were just down to four. Lily alone went through enough outfits to make up for the loss of the others.  
  
  
A while later, as she was carrying a hamper through to the living room to be ironed, Emily appeared on the stairs. Her hand was shaking on the rai. Her chest was heaving.  
  
  
“M-M-M-M-M-Mom,” she stuttered through labored breath, “I…I…I…don’t…feel…so…good…”  
  
  
She stumbled on the last step and Tara had to catch her, making her hamper skid across the floor and fall on its side.  
  
  
“Emmy!”  
  
  
Tara ended up on her knees with Emily lying across them, clutching her chest. Tara could hear the telltale wheeze she hadn’t heard in quite a while. She helped her sit up to breathe better.  
  
  
“Emmy, you’re having an asthma attack.”  
  
  
She grabbed one of the sweaters that had tumbled from the hamper and put it under Emily’s head before rushing into the living room to get an inhaler kept in a drawer in there.  
  
  
She brought it back and helped Emily inhale the medicine while opening a few of Emily’s top buttons so her chest wasn’t restricted.  
  
  
It didn’t help.  
  
  
While cradling Emily’s head, Tara took out her phone and called 911.  
  
  
“I need an ambulance. My daughter’s having an asthma attack. She’s not responding to her rescue inhaler.”  
  
  
Her tone was professional and calm even though her heart was beating out of her chest. She gave them their address and started comforting Emily to aid in steading her breathing.  
  
  
“M-M-Mom,” she gasped, her eyes young and scared.  
  
  
“You’re gonna be okay, Emmy,” Tara said, somehow managing to keep up that calm tone.  
  
  
Emily swallowed but it took several attempts to get her breath down.  
  
  
“I-I-I took pills.”  
  
  
Tara slowly frowned.  
  
  
“What pills?”  
  
  
Emily’s face contorted into a distressed cry.  
  
  
“A-A-A-bortion…”  
  
  
Tara’s mouth dropped open and she had to make a concerted effort to draw it closed.  
  
  
“Oh my god. Where did you get them?”  
  
  
Emily was shaking everywhere now.  
  
  
“I-In-Inter…”  
  
  
Tara felt her own breath become labored.  
  
  
“We’re going to the hospital right now.”  
  
  
She helped Emily stand and grabbed her purse to bring them outside. As she was ushering Emily into the backseat, the ambulance pulled up on the curb, silent but with the flashing blue lights.  
  
  
Tara brought Emily over there instead.  
  
  
“She’s been asthmatic since childhood. She was premature at 31 weeks. She hasn’t had a non-responsive attack since she was eleven,” she rattled off, then lowered her voice, “She took abortifacients she sourced from the internet. She’s nine weeks pregnant.”  
  
  
Tara hadn’t even looked at the paramedic before now but she still saw it his eyes.  
  
  
Judgment.  
  
  
Fleeting, but there.  
  
  
But Tara didn’t really care right then and just barreled into the ambulance after Emily and held her hand while the other paramedic drove them to the hospital. Emily was checked over and had a nebulizer put over her. She had tears in her eyes the entire time and couldn’t answer when she was asked questions about the pills or any bleeding. She just shook her head and squeezed Tara’s hand tighter.  
  
  
The ER was a blur.  
  
  
Tara had to fill in a form and had quickly called Willow, then stood in the corner while a flurry of doctors and nurses attended to Emily and stabilized her breathing. They fired questions at her about the pills she took and eventually Emily was able to plunge a shaky hand into her pocket and produced a blister pack with one pill punched out. One doctor with a neatly stitched ‘Dr. Georgia’ on her white coat turned it over in her hands, then handed it to a nurse, who left the room with it.  
  
  
They examined Emily to make sure she wasn’t bleeding and then they all left with a whoosh, leaving the room in silence but for the sound of Tara biting her nails.  
  
  
There was a long, drawn own moment before Tara pushed herself off the wall and swung herself into the lonesome seat beside Emily.  
  
  
She took Emily’s hand between both of hers and tried to meet Emily’s eye, but she wouldn’t look back.  
  
  
“Emily,” Tara breathed, swallowing deeply, “If you wanted an abortion, I would have taken you, you could have done this safely. I’ve told you that.”  
  
  
Emily’s eyes filled with tears.  
  
  
“I didn’t want anyone to see me go into the clinic,” she admitted, her whole body shriveling to nothing, “I didn’t want Momma to be even more ashamed of me.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes closed painfully.  
  
  
“Emmy…”  
  
  
A sob rose in Emily’s throat.  
  
  
“I just wanted everyone to stop hating me.”  
  
  
Tara’s forehead dropped to the bed.  
  
  
By the time Dr. Georgia returned, Emily was staring vacantly ahead and Tara’s eyes were red and raw from trying so hard _not_ to cry.  
  
  
Dr. Georgia held up the blister pack Emily had given her earlier.  
  
  
“These are neither mifepristone nor misoprostol. Our pharmacist has identified it as Tylenol. Which is what triggered your asthma attack.”  
  
  
“Ty-Tylenol?” Tara asked, simultaneously stunned and relieved.  
  
  
“Ty-Tylenol?” Emily repeated in the exact same tone, “S-So I-I’m still pregnant?”  
  
  
Her nails clawed the sheet and Tara held onto Emily’s arm. Behind her, Dr. Georgia wheeled over a portable machine.  
  
  
“We’re going to do an ultrasound to check on the status of your pregnancy.”  
  
  
Emily gulped.  
  
  
“O-Oh.”  
  
  
“It’s okay, koala bear,” Tara comforted, at least able to breathe easier knowing Emily hadn’t ingested something awful, “It won’t hurt.”  
  
  
At least not physically. Tara felt her heart start to pound again.  
  
  
Dr. Georgia pushed Emily’s top up and squirted the jelly on.  
  
  
“It’s a little bit cold,” she warned but Emily had already deduced that for herself and squirmed as a shiver went up through her back.  
  
  
“Light pressure,” Dr. Georgia advised as she pressed the probe into Emily’s stomach.  
  
  
Emily appeared to be deeply concentrated on the neckline of her top and Tara’s knuckles were white from clutching the metal sides of the bed.  
  
  
“Your pregnancy has not aborted,” Dr. Georgia confirmed and glanced over to them with an arched eyebrow, “Do you want to see?”  
  
  
Emily let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding onto and looked to Tara for help.  
  
  
“It’s up to you,” Tara said gently.  
  
  
Emily had to do this, or at least decide this, on her own.  
  
  
“Okay,” Emily nodded with a gulp and looked back over at the doctor, “Okay.”  
  
  
Dr. Georgia pressed a button on the machine and there was an upward propulsion of light until a sepia-toned 3D hologram appeared and the curved outline of Emily’s womb appeared with the fetus curled inside.  
  
  
Both Emily and Tara gasped in the same way; soft and awed.  
  
  
The image rotated as the doctor moved the probe around.  
  
  
“Would you like to know the sex?” she asked casually.  
  
  
Tara’s hand fell against her heart.  
  
  
“I always forget they can tell so early these days.”  
  
  
Emily answered immediately, surprised at how strong the conviction was.  
  
  
“I want to know.”  
  
  
Dr. Georgia pressed another button and released her grip on the probe as a recorded image stayed in the air for them to look at it. Soon there was the gallop of the heartbeat and Emily was mesmerized.  
  
  
“It’s a girl. Everything looks well for this stage of development.”  
  
  
She wiped the jelly from Emily’s stomach.  
  
  
“You are incredibly lucky,” she continued, her voice turning stern, “I truly have to impress on you how dangerous it is to take medications that you haven’t received from a licensed medical professional. You were extremely lucky this time.”  
  
  
“I know,” Emily answered quietly, but it was from distraction this time.  
  
  
Tara too couldn’t stop looking at the image of the tiny blob but she did catch the doctor’s eye and saw the look she was receiving.  
  
  
Judgment again but Tara didn’t need that gaze, she was feeling enough of it for herself. They probably all thought she got the pills for Emily. She felt as good as having done it for not noticing.  
  
  
Dr. Georgia took some leaflets from her coat pocket.  
  
  
“Here is some information on how to pursue a legitimate termination,” she said, her tone softening again, “With your medical history, I cannot reiterate enough how it will need to be undertaken with medical supervision.”  
  
  
Dr. Georgia turned off the ultrasound machine and Emily had to blink to allow the image to transfer from the air to her mind.  
  
  
“Thank you, doctor,” Tara answered for her.  
  
  
Dr. Georgia nodded and this time Tara saw a lot more empathy.  
  
  
“We’re going to keep her in for observation for a few hours to make sure her lungs have recovered, but you should be able to be discharged tonight if she keeps her stats up.”  
  
  
“Thanks,” Tara said again and stood respectfully as the doctor left again.  
  
  
She gathered the leaflets into her bag.  
  
  
“How are you, sweetheart?”  
  
  
“I’m fine,” Emily answered on autopilot, then actually looked at Tara, “Good. I think I’m…good.”  
  
  
Tara nodded quietly.  
  
  
“Good.”  
  
  
She checked her watch.  
  
  
“Now where the hell is your mother?”  
  


* * *

  
Tara closed the front door of the house behind her as all four of them stomped inside.  
  
  
“Lily,” she called quietly before her daughter disappeared up the stairs. She stood in front of Lily with her arms lightly folded, “How did you do?”  
  
  
Lily bit the corner of her thumbnail.  
  
  
“My piano audition got messed up,” she said, glancing up to Tara nervously, “But my drama one went really well. And I think it made me see which one I really want.”  
  
  
Tara closed her arms around Lily.  
  
  
“I’m so proud of you,” she said and kissed Lily’s cheek before pulling back, “But we’ll be talking more about this.”  
  
  
Lily nodded quietly.  
  
  
“I know,” she said with sorrow in her voice and eyes, “I’m sorry, Mom. Everything happened so fast and everything’s been so…”  
  
  
Tara nodded too.  
  
  
“I know,” she sighed and cupped Lily’s cheek for a moment before letting her hand fall away, “Stay with your sister tonight?”  
  
  
Lily nodded quickly. She’d been going to anyway. She followed Emily upstairs.  
  
  
In the hall, Willow took a step toward her wife, nervously wringing her hands.  
  
  
“Tara,” she started but Tara was already picking up the clothes she’d dropped earlier when all of this began.  
  
  
She threw it into the hamper and pushed passed Willow with a stony look on her face.  
  
  
“I have laundry to do.”  
  
  
Lily stood in the doorway of her bedroom. It was actually tidy when she wasn't living in it.  
  
  
There was a door slam and both her and Emily, sitting on her bed, jumped.  
  
  
Emily gulped.  
  
  
“They’re fighting again.”  
  
  
Lily wandered in and flicked the door not-quite-closed behind her.  
  
  
“It’s because of me this time.”  
  
  
She pulled on her ear as she sat on the bed.  
  
  
“Momma sneaking me off to New York City.”  
  
  
“Right,” Emily replied quietly, “I-It’s amazing that you got into Julliard.”  
  
  
“I just did an audition,” Lily replied quickly, waving her hand, “And one went kaput. They said I could redo but honestly? I don’t think I want to. I love playing music but playing it they way they would want me to…I dunno. I just don’t feel it.”  
  
  
“T-That’s good,” Emily said encouragingly, “That you know that.”  
  
  
“Yeah, I guess it is,” Lily smiled.  
  
  
Emily’s fingers tapped against her bedsheets.  
  
  
“I saw the baby today,” she blurted and her eyes widened.  
  
  
Lily slowly blinked. She’d kind of forgotten.  
  
  
“You did?” she asked, “Wow.”  
  
  
Emily waved her phone about shyly.  
  
  
“They sent me the images. I kind of want to look again.”  
  
  
Lily’s ankle twisted on the floor.  
  
  
“Can I see?”  
  
  
Emily nodded quickly.  
  
  
She took out her phone and located the folder. The video opened as a hologram, a continuous sepia loop.  
  
  
Lily slowly pushed herself off her bed and came to sit with Emily. Her finger tried to penetrate the image but it just flickered.  
  
  
“That’s kind of wacky. That’s in you right now.”  
  
  
“I know,” Emily said quietly.  
  
  
As they both stared, Lily glanced over at Emily.  
  
  
“What are you going to do?”  
  
  
“I don’t know yet,” Emily answered honestly, “Mom wants me to see the OB/GYN this week.”  
  
  
Lily paused and then covered Emily’s hand with her own.  
  
  
“Whatever happens,” she said, looking at Emily sincerely, “I’ll still be here. I’ll still be your sister.”  
  
  
Emily turned her gaze and looked at Lily. Lily felt herself welling up.  
  
  
“I didn’t know you didn’t want to do all the stuff I wanted to do.”  
  
  
Emily nodded.  
  
  
“I never told you.”  
  
  
Lily frowned.  
  
  
“Why?”  
  
  
“Why don’t I want to be an actor?” Emily asked uncomfortably.  
  
  
“No,” Lily shook her head dismissively of that thought, “Why didn’t you tell me you didn’t want to do the same thing as me?”  
  
  
Her head dropped.  
  
  
“I thought we told each other everything.”  
  
  
“Lily, you’re the coolest person I know,” Emily replied sadly, “I always wanted to be just like you. I just didn’t know 'just like you' would mean 'not like me'.”  
  
  
Lily lifted her head.  
  
  
“I like you just like you.”  
  
  
She squeezed Emily’s hand and Emily beamed. They hugged for several moments before going back to look at the hologram.  
  
  
“Can I ask you something?” Emily asked with a nervous little half-smile.  
  
  
Lily nodded agreeably so Emily continued.  
  
  
“What did you mean when you said that I wasn’t Virg-ily, you were? That day you found out that I was…”  
  
  
Lily looked away and her brow creased. She looked back at Emily with some vulnerability that she tried to hide.  
  
  
“I meant that I’m still a virgin.”  
  
  
Emily frowned in confusion.  
  
  
“You said you slept with Emmett.”  
  
  
“I never said I’d _actually_ done it. You assumed,” Lily flicked her hair and rolled her eyes, “Everyone assumes.”  
  
  
She sat back casually on her hands, or at least she tried to appear casual.  
  
  
“We decided we’re not in any rush. It’s kinda nice actually. We get to sit around and talk, really talk. Not ‘we-should-say-words-between-sticking-our-tongues-down-each-other’s-throat’ talk.”  
  
  
Emily took a moment to process that.  
  
  
“What about—”  
  
  
“Harry?” Lily preempted the name of her ex-boyfriend, “Prince complex. Wanted to be a knight in shining armor. Big name to live up to.”  
  
  
Emily opened her mouth again.  
  
  
“And—”  
  
  
“Kai,” Lily said, making a vomiting motion, “He only rawdogs and I’m not stupid.”  
  
  
She paused, looked at Emily, and winced.  
  
  
“Sorry. No offense.”  
  
  
Emily didn’t take it personally. It was still too weird to think about the conception.  
  
  
“What about all the condom wrappers in the couch?” she asked finally.  
  
  
Lily’s eyes flickered back and forth, trying to think that one through.  
  
  
“Um, what?”  
  
  
“I’ve picked at least two out of there and brought them to the trash can across the street,” Emily explained, “I-I thought I was covering for you.”  
  
  
Lily shrugged.  
  
  
“They’re probably Robyn’s. She screwed everyone all over this house. Boys, girls, in-between. I’m sure some of them needed a condom.”  
  
  
Emily slowly exhaled. It had been a long day. She looked over at Lily again.  
  
  
“I-I feel like I don’t know you.”  
  
  
“Ditto,” Lily returned but her eyes glanced over to her sister with deep sincerity, “But I want to.”  
  
  
Emily slowly smiled.  
  
  
Outside the ajar door, Tara smiled softly and put the twins’ hamper of laundry on the floor, opting not to interrupt.  
  
  
She could see the light on in her bedroom, so she went downstairs and dropped onto the couch, exhausted.  
  
  
She felt around for the remote but only succeeded in pulling out another condom wrapper.  
  
  
“Robyn,” she swore under her breath.  
  
  
She closed her eyes and sighed.  
  
  
“I _have_ to deep clean more.”


	8. Chapter 8

Willow hovered outside the living room door, hesitating to go in.  
  
  
It was ridiculous really, she thought, scared to go into a room in her own house.  
  
  
And it was her house; the bank hadn’t owned any part of it in years.  
  
  
Hers and Tara’s, anyway.  
  
  
Except very little between them felt enjoined lately.  
  
  
Willow even recalled one terrible, horrible moment in the midst of all of the arguings where Tara had said ‘she’s our daughter’ of Emily and Willow had almost, _almost_ said ‘no, she’s mine’.  
  
  
Thank god some sense and reason had made her catch herself before she could utter the untruth that she could never take back. She’d still been mad at all of Tara’s postulating though, so she _had_ said something measured and mature like ‘oh, just shut up’ and marched out of the room.  
  
  
She didn’t want to march away this time, though.  
  
  
What she wanted was to go in and lay her head in Tara’s lap and feel those fingers lightly run through her hair but she guessed by how they’d left their last conversation in the hospital, that wasn’t on the cards.  
  
  
She hoped her peace offering would be enough.  
  
  
Closing her eyes for a moment to mentally pull up her big girl panties, she pushed through the door. Tara was sitting with her feet curled up on the couch, watching one of her gardening programs, but her attention wasn’t really on it. Her eyes were on the screen but they were clouded; unfocused. Willow could always tell.  
  
  
She tried to meet Tara’s gaze but Tara just seemed exhausted and afraid of a new fight so her glassy eyes just stayed on the screen and her head didn’t lift from its resting place on her closed fist.  
  
  
Willow understood but didn’t let it dissuade her.  
  
  
She sat at the piano and lifted the fallboard before positioning her fingers over the white keys.  
  
  
She whispered some letters to herself, some keyboard configurations she’d used to memorize what she needed. She had a false start by clanging the key a little too bluntly but it worked in her favor as it made Tara glance over.  
  
  
Willow hummed to herself to set the tune.  
  
  
“ _I could make you happy, make your dreams come true,_ ” she sang, off-key but on-emotion as her eyes slowly traveled across the room to meet Tara’s piqued gaze, “ _There's nothing that I wouldn't do_.”  
  
  
She made sure their eyes well and truly locked as she sang the lyrics with emphasis.  
  
  
“ _Go to the ends of this Earth for you._ ”  
  
  
Her eyes made some kind of silent apology or promise or both.  
  
  
“ _To make you feel my love_.”  
  
  
She swallowed, caught by her own emotion.  
  
  
“ _To make you feel my love_.”  
  
  
Her fingers fell away from the keys and she looked down sheepishly.  
  
  
“That’s all Lily would teach me before she gave up and proclaimed me ‘the most tone-deaf person alive’. She doesn’t get her talent from me, that’s for sure.”  
  
  
There was a pause, then Tara stood. She walked toward the door.  
  
  
Willow reached out and grasped Tara’s hand desperately.  
  
  
“Please don't walk away, Tara.”  
  
  
Tara’s hand fell away from the doorknob.  
  
  
“I'm just closing the door.”  
  
  
Willow swallowed.  
  
  
“Oh.”  
  
  
But Tara didn’t close the door. Instead, she sank down onto the small piano seat beside Willow; their bodies facing in opposite directions but their faces toward each other.  
  
  
Something passed between them silently; a vow that this wasn’t going to end in the same way every conversation had up to now.  
  
  
Without needing to explain, Willow’s eyes filled with tears.  
  
  
“I can't be happy about this.”  
  
  
“It's not a this,” Tara replied softly, “It’s a she.”  
  
  
Willow’s body slumped with anguish.  
  
  
“I know Emily—wait,” she started but promptly stopped and looked to Tara with widening eyes, “Do you mean…?”  
  
  
Tara nodded softly. Willow’s eyes filled with fresh tears.  
  
  
“It's a girl? They know already?”  
  
  
Tara’s eyelids flickered with memory.  
  
  
“Remember when we heard those words?”  
  
  
Willow was silent for a moment then offered a slight, sad smile.  
  
  
“I remember ruining the surprise with Robyn.”  
  
  
She stopped and her eyes shut tightly.  
  
  
“Tara,” she cried softly into her hands.  
  
  
Tara gently placed her hand on Willow’s knee and rubbed. It was as close a contact as they’d had in a while.  
  
  
“I know you. I know you'd die for any of our children. Right now you're letting your heart die instead of letting your fear die. But I know that heart. And it's stronger than anything else thrown at it.”  
  
  
Willow looked up, stricken.  
  
  
“You think my heart is dying?”  
  
  
The pain in Willow’s eyes pained Tara. Her eyes creased.  
  
  
“Willow, you pressured her to have an abortion.”  
  
  
Willow did a double-take.  
  
  
“No, I…” she started to protest, then her face grew starkly white, “Oh my god.”  
  
  
Tara let her hand rise to Willow’s thigh and massaged it softly for a second. Willow kept swiping her eyes with her sleeve.  
  
  
When Tara couldn’t bear to watch the endless tears streaming down Willow’s cheeks, she pivoted on the seat so she was facing the piano too. Her fingers moved up and down the keys until she found where she needed to be. She began to play in the middle of a song.  
  
  
“ _And the songbirds are singing like they know the score_ ,” she sang along, looking at Willow intently, “ _And I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before._ ”  
  
  
Willow offered a watery smile with her sleeve on the corner of her eye.  
  
  
“That’s the song Cleo’s Mami sings to her wife every year at their Christmas party.”  
  
  
Tara nodded and smiled softly.  
  
  
“She exchanged her expertise for an extra batch of my breadsticks sent overnight.”  
  
  
“She sure loves those sticks,” Willow chuckled wryly and there was a long pause as she slowly returned Tara’s intent look, “Everything feels so surreal. Like I’m living in a dream.”  
  
  
Tara nodded again.  
  
  
“I know. But it’s happening.”  
  
  
Willow’s jaw shook.  
  
  
“Is it?”  
  
  
Creases grew around Tara’s eye, showing the weariness the past few weeks had taken on her.  
  
  
“She’s still mulling it all over, I think. It’s not a snap decision. She didn’t speak much when she came back for Dr. Wells but I know she got all of the information on the medical decisions. She can proceed or terminate safely as long as she’s monitored regularly. Her asthma is mild and is unlikely to worsen in severity and her blood pressure has been stable for so long that it shouldn’t destabilize as long as she doesn’t overexert herself and hydrates regularly.”  
  
  
“I should know that,” Willow breathed out self-deprecatingly, “Because I should have been talking to her myself.”  
  
  
Her head dropped into her hands.  
  
  
“I still just can’t wrap my mind around it. Emily. Pregnant. She’s our good one.”  
  
  
“She made a mistake,” Tara replied, putting her hand on the small of Willow’s back.  
  
  
Willow felt comfortable enough to lean into Tara.  
  
  
“And she doesn’t even know the father?” she questioned again, her eyes filling with tears, “How are these words coming out of my mouth?”  
  
  
Tara could finally see Willow’s anger dissolving away and the distress so clearly bubbling underneath.  
  
  
“Darling,” she comforted and lifted her hand up to massage the back of Willow’s neck.  
  
  
Willow turned and cried into Tara’s chest. Tara gently stroked Willow’s hair and then lifted her face to kiss her slowly.  
  
  
From the doorway, Emily spied through the small slit in the ajar door. Bouncing up on her toes, she quietly turned and headed for the front door. When she opened it, Lily was walking up the driveway. Emily quickly stepped out and shut the door behind her.  
  
  
As Lily approached, she arched an eyebrow when Emily didn’t move.  
  
  
“Why are you playing security guard?”  
  
  
“We can’t go in,” Emily replied quickly.  
  
  
Lily sighed tiredly.  
  
  
“Why are you being weird? Is this some weird hormonal thing? Let me in, I’m starving.”  
  
  
Emily shook her head.  
  
  
“Let’s go to the mall. We can eat there.”  
  
  
Lily’s eyebrows rose on her face.  
  
  
“Fenke murulo,” she said sternly, which was the twin-speak equivalent of saying ‘enough already’.  
  
  
Emily blushed quietly.  
  
  
“I-I think moms are making up. I just thought we should give them some…space.”  
  
  
Lily gave an exaggerated eye-roll.  
  
  
“Oh alright, let’s let the old ladies do the nasty,” she agreed and started to walk back down the driveway again swinging her car keys, “You’re buying me tacos.”  
  
  
Emily was quick on her heels and got into the passenger seat of Lily’s Chevy. Unlike everyone else in their family, she wasn't _too_ afraid of being in the car with her sister.  
  
  
“Hey what do you think about naming the baby Liliem?” Lily asked casually as she drove them off the curb.  
  
  
Emily frowned. For a lot of reasons, mostly stemmed in dismay as to the weight of the implication of the question, but decided to only focus on the most obvious source of confusion.  
  
  
“Lillian?” she clarified with a furrowed brow.  
  
  
“No, Lily-em,” Lily enunciated more clearly, with a bright smile, “After us!”  
  
  
Emily’s eyes widened but she hid them well.  
  
  
“I-I think maybe the baby will have a different name.”  
  
  
Lily sighed dramatically.  
  
  
“Well, what are you going to name it then?”  
  
  
“Her,” Emily clarified quickly, “A-And I've been thinking about Kelly.”  
  
  
Lily blew some air out between her lips. She didn’t know anyone with that name.  
  
  
“Like Kelly…Clarkson? That old country singer?”  
  
  
Emily frowned.  
  
  
“More like Grace Kelly,” she suggested if she had to name someone.  
  
  
“Why not Grace?” Lily held up a hand.  
  
  
“I read Kelly means ‘bright-headed’,” Emily smiled. She’d actually read the name in a book as a child and always liked it, “I think that’s really beautiful.”  
  
  
Lily considered it, then nodded.  
  
  
“I'm in,” she gave unneeded consent, but Emily didn’t tell her that, “Have you told moms yet that you’re keeping her?”  
  
  
Emily squirmed uncomfortably.  
  
  
“I haven’t officially decided yet.”  
  
  
Lily arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“…but you’ve named her?”  
  
  
Emily frowned again. Sometimes this decision seemed so easy and sometimes it felt so hard.  
  
  
“I haven’t even thought about what it’s going to be like when she gets here. Shouldn’t I have a plan?”  
  
  
They stopped at a stoplight. Lily looked over at Emily.  
  
  
“Do you want to be a mother?”  
  
  
Emily’s hands brushed across her belly.  
  
  
“I feel like I already am one.”  
  
  
“There’s your answer,” Lily shrugged like it was just that easy again and Emily wondered again if maybe it was, “Man, this is still so weird.”  
  
  
Emily slunk down in her seat, hands still covering her belly.  
  
  
“How do you think I feel?”  
  
  
Back in the house, Willow turned her body into the kiss and her lips became desperate to return it.  
  
  
Sensing her urgency and feeling much of it herself, Tara placed her palms flat on Willow’s thighs and squeezed.  
  
  
“Take me upstairs,” she breathed onto Willow’s lips.  
  
  
Willow moaned softly into Tara’s mouth and quickly linked their fingers to pull Tara up from the seat.  
  
  
Their bodies pressed together as they stood and both grabbed at each other, needing the close contact they’d been missing out on while being in a permanent state of argument.  
  
  
Willow broke off the kiss with a breathless pant and started placing messy kisses into Tara’s neck.  
  
  
“You heard me,” Tara repeated in a low, evocative tone and Willow had to clench her thighs to stem the throbbing it produced.  
  
  
Never one not to comply with an order, Willow tugged on Tara’s fingers so they linked and tugged her out of the room and up the stairs. In the doorway of their bedroom, they spun toward each other and kissed like giggling schoolgirls.  
  
  
Then, without warning, Tara grabbed Willow’s arm, pinned it behind her back, and pushed her wife up against the wall. With Willow’s breath caught in her throat, Tara ran her fingers up her wife’s other arm and placed her hand over Willow’s palm, flat on the wood.  
  
  
They stared at each other, panting.  
  
  
Tara’s gaze dropped to Willow’s lips and back to her wife’s eyes. She linked her fingers through Willow’s, dragged her palm down and off the door, and brought their conjoined hands between their legs. She pressed her hips in so Willow could feel the heat radiating from her. She made Willow’s fingers press against the seam of her pants, then let her hand fall away, leaving Willow struggling for a moment to catch her breath.  
  
  
Willow quickly undid Tara’s pants button and kicked the door closed behind her. She walked Tara over to the bed and pushed her down before climbing over her.  
  
  
They locked into another intense gaze and Tara rubbed Willow’s cheek for a few moments as she sought out and kissed her wife’s lips. She gave it a few seconds to make sure Willow was distracted by the kiss, she brought her hand down and smacked Willow’s butt cheek, rubbing through the reverberation.  
  
  
Willow’s body jerked further into Tara’s, with her thigh sliding between her wife’s legs. She moaned into Willow’s mouth and brought her hand back down to slip under Willow’s pants. She caressed Willow’s cheek, nails grasping and indenting her pale, fleshy skin.  
  
  
She pulled Willow closer and fit her in so that they both had their thighs pressed in against each other. Tara pulled once again so that Willow’s hips shifted and created friction then thrust her own hips forward so they created a rhythm.  
  
  
It was feeling too good, too quick so Willow sat back and tilted her chin back to catch her breath.  
  
  
After a moment, when Tara was giving her a patient and amused half-smile, Willow pressed a finger on top of the zipper on Tara’s pants and pushed it down. She caught either side of the fabric and pulled them down and off.  
  
  
She sighed softly with satisfaction as her palms slid down Tara’s thighs. She leaned her head down and kissed the patches of cellulite that Tara hated but Willow loved all the more. Her mouth cruised dangerously close to Tara’s panties, leaving her close enough to get the intoxicating scent to spur her on, before kissing under Tara’s bellybutton. She pushed Tara’s shirt up with her nose and eventually her hands when she needed it off — and quick.  
  
  
Tara used the opportunity to grab Willow’s cheeks and pulled her into a smoldering kiss. She made quick work of divesting Willow of her shirt and pants and eagerly palmed Willow’s fleshy hips.  
  
  
They fell into a tangled mess together on the sheets, taking turns to roll on top of each other and press every inch of their bodies together.  
  
  
Willow hadn’t been wearing a bra, but Tara’s bra was quick to join the other clothes on the floor and together their panties were removed by way of clutching hands and tugging feet.  
  
  
Willow made sure Tara’s panties fell from her ankles and kissed her wife’s calf as she passed. Enjoying that little taste of skin, she continued upward until she got to Tara’s rear. Her lips pressed delicate little kisses along the vibrant ink etched into her wife’s skin and followed the flowing willow tree from roots to leaves.  
  
  
She nibbled it gently and heard Tara giggle, making her smile.  
  
  
Rolling Tara onto her back again, she kissed along Tara’s hipbone and lower stomach. She loved this; being so close to Tara’s most intimate area. Knowing every bit of her. She could live here, nuzzling in this spot. She wanted to lift herself up and say ‘I love you’ and ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘we’ll figure this out’ but she also didn’t want to break the intense physical pull radiating between them at that moment.  
  
  
That scent came to her nose again and she couldn’t resist the allure this time and let her tongue slip delicately between Tara’s lips. She was tender and soft with her exploration as the tip of her tongue circled Tara’s clit and turned Tara into a quivering mess.  
  
  
When Willow could barely stand the ache between her own legs from having the privilege of knowing Tara so intimately, she reached over to the nightstand and into the drawer. She squeezed some lubricant into her hand from the bottle inside and gently brought it over where her tongue had been.  
  
  
Tara opened her legs invitingly as Willow rubbed her; the simple act letting her know what was on the horizon.  
  
  
Willow positioned herself above Tara and shared a shy smile with her. Tara placed her palms on Willow’s collarbone with her fingers curled over Willow’s shoulders and smiled the same consenting smile back.  
  
  
Willow was delicate as she entered Tara. Since going through menopause, she’d been a lot more sensitive in this area and if Willow went too hard, she could have Tara moaning for the wrong reasons. However, if she angled it in just the right way, she could ride that sensitivity all the way to a perfectly sated wife.  
  
  
Thankfully, Willow knew every inch of Tara inside and out and with a steady rotation of her wrist, Tara was growing from warm and writhing to molten hot and thrusting with abandon. On one such trust, Tara caught her legs around Willow and brought their bodies together.  
  
  
They shared a second-long panting gaze before Tara’s hand was working its way down Willow’s body to enter her with the same intensity that Willow was giving to her. Willow didn’t have the same problem as Tara and was already gushing and very able to accept the intrusion.  
  
  
This was where they truly excelled; keeping their arms in perfect, interlocking rhythm while making sure their hips stayed aligned and their fingers kept the pressure that was so desperately needed. It was practiced and assured but every bit as exciting as the very first time.  
  
  
When Tara felt the first clench deep inside, she brought her other hand down on Willow’s butt. She squeezed and held on as her body shook with orgasm. Willow thrust her hips a few more times until she felt the relief she was seeking and softly sagged into Tara with her forehead on Tara’s shoulder-blade.  
  
  
She bit very gently in the space between Tara’s collarbone and shoulder; a tender little spot where none of Tara’s tops revealed and so let them bask in the youthful thrill of a hickey without any obvious signs. Having three daughters, two of which were without filter, had quickly put paid to any spontaneity in that department.  
  
  
Tara’s whole body shivered and Willow felt her wife’s limbs stretch luxuriously. She even felt Tara’s toes curl against her shin and delighted when they popped off and Tara’s whole body sank into the bed with satisfaction.  
  
  
Willow kissed her way across until she ran out of delicious skin and resigned herself to lazily rolling off Tara and onto her own pillow. Their hands automatically sought each other and their fingers linked softly between them.  
  
  
Willow glanced over at Tara and wondered if now was the time to say those words she thought earlier, but it was such a nice moment. Instead, she said:  
  
  
“I wonder where the girls are.”  
  
  
“I’ve learned not to question silence,” Tara murmured and slowly opened her eyes to look over at Willow and smile, “Just enjoy it.”  
  
  
Willow smiled a little and nodded but it wasn’t very convincing and moments later, Tara squeezed Willow’s hand between them.  
  
  
“Not enjoying the silence?”  
  
  
Willow looked back sheepishly and pointed to her head.  
  
  
“It's just kinda… noisy up here tonight, you know?”  
  
  
Tara smiled back sympathetically.  
  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
  
She snuggled up to Willow, put her face next to her wife, and threw an arm across Willow's middle.  
  
  
“Is this better?”  
  
  
Willow smiled a more real smile.  
  
  
“Yeah. I think it makes things quieter in here,” she agreed as she lightly stroked Tara’s bare arm, “Wish I’d realized that a few weeks ago.”  
  
  
The repetitive motion worked to calm her.  
  
  
“Do you still want us to see Dr. Carter? I have to admit, I’m not feeling too keen if we’re able to talk it out ourselves. It took me a long time to be comfortable with Dr. Varney and I'm worried about making it worse.”  
  
  
“I think Emily should at least,” Tara agreed with a soft nod, “If you agree.”  
  
  
“I do,” Willow agreed surely. Everything had been such a fog but this, her and Tara being a team; that was always the break in the cloud she needed; “But is it possible to take a night off?”  
  
  
“From what exactly?” Tara questioned with a softly arched eyebrow.  
  
  
Willow held a hand up helplessly.  
  
  
“All of this? The…knowledge of this happening?”  
  
  
“No,” Tara replied honestly with a shake of her head, then snuggled in closer, “But it doesn’t mean we can’t try. At least for a couple of hours. But then we have to face it. I hope, together.”  
  
  
Willow swallowed.  
  
  
“I want to face it together too. But I’ll take a couple of hours.”  
  
  
Tara kissed Willow’s shoulder. Willow's eyes closed peacefully.  
  
  
“It’s working already.”


	9. Chapter 9

Tara blindly typed on her laptop, writing up her court reports for the past week.  
  
  
Sometimes on days like these, when she had nothing on her plate but to catch up on paperwork, she wished she had taken the big office offered to her when she was promoted to the position she was in. The cubicles were loud and a little cramped and way too close to the staff kitchen where some delightful person had just microwaved some fish.  
  
  
But no, she wanted to be approachable and a team player.  
  
  
Her office would have a view of the city…  
  
  
As she daydreamed for a moment, she was brought back to reality when her phone rang from a foot away from her. She reached for it automatically.  
  
  
“Hello, Tara Rosenberg-Maclay speaking.”  
  
  
She smiled as she heard the voice on the other end.  
  
  
“Oh, hi honey.”  
  
  
She started to sit back, relaxed, then remembered where she was, and stayed professionally upright.  
  
  
“Oh,” she continued as she listened to Willow speak, “Can’t you swing back by the house to pick it up? I’m working.”  
  
  
She paused and rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“Yes, I’m just doing paperwork but it’s still work.”  
  
  
She checked her watch and frowned.  
  
  
“I can take my lunch but I really don’t see how I can get it to you any quicker.”  
  
  
She listened for another moment and held up a hand as if Willow was physically there in front of her.  
  
  
“Okay, okay. Stop panicking. I’ll go home and bring your laptop to you if it’s so important. Okay. Bye.”  
  
  
She hung up the phone and blew out air through her nostrils. She blinked for a moment, then shut down her laptop and packed it away in her purse. By the time she finished this request for Willow she’d have less than an hour on the clock and she could do her paperwork from home.  
  
  
She went up to the office of her second in command.  
  
  
“Hey, Al. I’m heading out for the rest of the day. On my cell, if I’m needed.”  
  
  
Alice looked up from her laptop and looked down her nose through her glasses.  
  
  
“Going off for some afternoon nookie again?”  
  
  
Tara blushed, despite herself.  
  
  
“One time twenty-five years ago and you’ll never let me forget it.”  
  
  
“You’re so seldom naughty,” Alice grinned, “It’s delicious.”  
  
  
“I am your superior, don’t forget,” Tara arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
Alice smiled comfortably at the remark.  
  
  
“Then why do I have a nicer office?”  
  
  
Tara shook her head with the start of a smile tugging at her lips.  
  
  
“I’m leaving,” she said in a singsong voice.  
  
  
“Be safe,” Alice sang back.  
  
  
Tara shrugged her purse over her shoulder and turned to leave, weaving through the cubicles. In the elevator, she took in a soft breath as she doors close, as she always did. Or, at least, had since the night she gave birth to the twins.  
  
  
She picked up her step when the doors opened again as Willow had been very insistent that Tara get home quickly to bring Willow’s laptop back to her. Her wife had garbled something about needing to stay to work on a decryption but needing a specific key on her laptop. It was all gobbledygook to Tara.  
  
  
She hadn’t even thought Willow was working today. Jesse only called her in when they were in dire need, though Willow had been floating the idea of going back for some semi-regular consultancy. She would have thought Willow would tell her if she’d actually decided to do it.  
  
  
She thought, even though Willow was still struggling with the pregnancy, that she and her wife had been able to come together to communicate more.  
  
  
They’d certainly been _coming together_ ; more than they had in months.  
  
  
It made her smile but that quickly faltered when as she approached her car and realized the extent of this disruption to her day.  
  
  
It would take her whole lunch break to do the round trip for the laptop. She’d either have to eat in the car or eat at her desk and she hated eating at her desk because she encouraged her staff to take their breaks. Their work was hard and she’d reduced burnout by 23% since she’d taken over, a statistic she was proud of. Then she remembered she'd brought her laptop with her so at least her 'desk' could be the kitchen counter at home.  
  
  
Not ideal, but still better than going back to the office.  
  
  
Willow was lucky that Tara loved her.  
  
  
At least if she finished her work off at home she could do it with her feet up.  
  
  
There had to be some perks of being the boss.  
  
  
She listened to the radio as the car drove itself home and went through some emails on her phone. Self-driving cars had certainly allowed increased productivity. Sometimes Tara liked to do a meditation.  
  
  
She thought about doing one now so she wouldn’t wring her wife’s neck when she dropped off the laptop. The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. Willow wasn’t even a permanent worker in the FBI anymore. Tara ran her whole office. Her work was important too.  
  
  
This was only amplified when she got a message telling her the laptop was in the bedroom. No ‘thanks’ or ‘please’ or ‘I’ll worship you later’.  
  
  
The car parked up and Tara got out and let herself into the house. The girls wouldn’t be home from school for a few hours. She was tempted to go and make lunch and make Willow wait for her laptop, but she wasn’t that petty.  
  
  
She headed upstairs, grumbling under her breath, and pushed open the door to their bedroom. Willow’s laptop case was in there.  
  
  
Covering the front of Willow’s naked body as she lay on her side with one leg over the other and her head resting on her upturned palm.  
  
  
Tara’s purse dropped from her hand.  
  
  
Willow grinned cockily.  
  
  
“You want to come byte?”  
  
  
Tara floated over as if she’d risen into the air. Willow plucked the handle of her case up with two fingers, lifted it, and let it fall behind her.  
  
  
The laptop was, of course, not inside.  
  
  
“Come a little closer and I’ll show you my finger commands.”  
  
  
Almost hypnotically, Tara climbed onto the bed and over Willow. Her eyes dropped to Willow’s lips and back up to her eyes. Her hips pressed themselves against Willow.  
  
  
“I’m going to… ram your hard-drive.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes clouded over.  
  
  
“Oh, that is so fucking hot.”  
  
  
“Did I get it right?” Tara asked, her face lighting up.  
  
  
“So right,” Willow moaned and grabbed Tara by the cheeks to pull her into a kiss.  
  
  
She pushed Tara’s sweater back over her shoulders and slid her hands around Tara’s hips. Willow’s body felt so exquisitely nude against Tara’s clothes but when the first ride of Tara’s shirt had their stomachs touch, Willow suddenly felt on fire with the desire for skin on skin.  
  
  
With a single finger, she caught the first metal button of Tara’s shirt and dragged it down so each one popped. Tara whipped her arms back and pulled the shirt off and Willow sat up with her so they didn’t have to break the kiss. Willow’s hand cupped Tara’s breast through her bra and pulled the nipple free. Her mouth dropped to take it in her mouth and Tara’s back arched into it.  
  
  
“Mmm, Willow.”  
  
  
She reached behind to unsnap her bra and Willow was quick to reward her with duel attention.  
  
  
While her mouth lavished attention on Tara, Willow’s hands pawed at Tara’s leather skirt. She found the zip on the side and tugged it down with enough force that the skirt came with it. She felt Tara’s knees lift to let it fall and in one fell movement, she turned Tara onto her back to toss the skirt over her shoulder. Her hands flew to Tara’s tights and she began to tug them down.  
  
  
She tugged so hard that Tara’s whole body scooted down the bed but the tights barely moved. Willow puffed out a breath of air.  
  
  
“Why did you wear your no-access tights?”  
  
  
“They’re warm,” Tara replied and continued with Willow gave her a look, “I didn’t know you were going to trick me into a lunchtime shag.”  
  
  
Willow shook her head.  
  
  
“You’re watching too many British baking shows.”  
  
  
Tara frowned.  
  
  
“I don’t know what you think they ice those cakes with but that word doesn’t come up often.”  
  
  
Willow gestured in frustration.  
  
  
“Can you please get those things off so I can eat your pussy?”  
  
  
Tara hesitated for a painful second, then started to smirk.  
  
  
“You did say please.”  
  
  
She disappeared into the bathroom for a moment because truly, getting out of those tights was not a sexy sight and returned to Willow in just her panties.  
  
  
Willow was lying back on the bed. Her thighs twitched with excitement. She curled her finger in Tara’s direction and motioned her forward.  
  
  
Tara climbed into Willow’s lap and gently brought their lips together. She lifted Willow’s chin with her fingers and deepened the kiss while their breasts pressed together and thighs slid off each other.  
  
  
Willow wrapped her arms around Tara’s back and slowly rose onto her knees so she could tip Tara back against the bed. She broke the kiss to press her lips down Tara’s body, which slowly shifted up until her head was hanging off of the bed and Willow had room to situate herself between Tara’s legs.  
  
  
She bent Tara’s knees out either side and opened her up so she had a good view of what she was to feast on. She never got sick of this sight, no matter how often or when or how Tara changed; this open, unobstructed view was a feast for the eyes as well as a feast for the mouth. And speaking of, that allure was hitting more and more of her senses…  
  
  
She dropped her head to Tara’s thighs and kissed the wetness that had gathered there. Her tongue tingled as she got the first taste and the scent filled her to her core. Her nails dug lightly into Tara’s fleshy thighs and her tongue extended to lick Tara the whole way up.  
  
  
She felt Tara’s shiver reverberate on her tongue.  
  
  
She worked Tara with gentle but consistent flicks and licks and bathed Tara’s clit with attention until the hand that was woven in her hair pulled so hard that it hurt _just so_.  
  
  
She slid one hand up Tara’s thigh and let her fingers glide, wetting them. She felt around for a moment, then raised her head.  
  
  
“Baby, do you think you’re good without the lube? You’re really wet.”  
  
  
Tara’s hips just bucked insistently.  
  
  
Willow took the hint.  
  
  
Gently, she slid two fingers inside, and when she felt plenty of slickness to embrace her, she started to thrust in and out.  
  
  
Tara’s hands immediately bunched in the sheets, which was the only traction she had to stay on the bed. Her hips repeatedly thrust up, seeking as much of Willow as she could find.  
  
  
Willow delivered with each long-learned stroke of her fingers that knew Tara so intimately. She knew how to pull the orgasm from Tara just the way she liked it; slow, slow, slow, then fast, fast, fast.  
  
  
Sometimes if Willow was feeling particularly teasy she’d alternate and bring Tara almost there before starting the cycle again.  
  
  
Without bedtime exhaustion or the frenzy of a stolen moment, Willow deemed this to be one of those times.  
  
  
She had Tara writhing with curling toes and her head banging against the bed in minutes.  
  
  
When Tara’s cries were just on the verge of painful, Willow sat up so Tara’s legs could wrap around her waist, leaned forward to hold one of Tara’s breasts, and pumped as hard as she could.  
  
  
“Uhhh…uhhh….MMMM!”  
  
  
Willow looked down and watched Tara’s flesh flood with the evidence of her climax before flushing a beautifully, pulsating pink color. Her own brow was damp from the exertion and she felt heavy between her legs like a weight had been attached and was pulling her down, but there was nothing more satisfying than seeing her wife sated like that.  
  
  
Tara was back on the bed after the last movements, albeit upside down, so Willow just went and laid next to her. Gazing at Tara’s flushed face made up for not having any pillows.  
  
  
She reached out and wiped the hair from Tara’s brow. Tara’s eyes opened lazily and she reached for Willow’s hand, caressing her palm and fingers.  
  
  
“That was…”  
  
  
Willow arched a cocky eyebrow. Tara blushed and pushed at Willow’s face.  
  
  
“Wipe that smile off your face.”  
  
  
“Or what?” Willow asked in a tone that matched the smirk.  
  
  
Tara turned her head away, then back again.  
  
  
“Or I’ll do this.”  
  
  
She placed her palm on Willow’s cheek and turned her in for a kiss. She slowly rolled her sluggish body on top of Willow and moved her thigh between Willow’s legs.  
  
  
Willow’s hands immediately went to Tara’s buttocks and pulled her closer again and again and again. Her eyelids fluttered with pleasure with each little glide against the bump in her flesh. It would be so easy to just rock for a few more seconds and…  
  
  
Then Tara moved away. Willow expressed her dissatisfaction with a groan.  
  
  
“Come here,” Tara said softly.  
  
  
Willow opened her eyes and blinked twice before sitting up, being guided by Tara’s voice.  
  
  
Tara twisted around and gently pushed Willow back onto the pillows. She got over her and pressed their torsos flush together.  
  
  
Willow’s breath immediately quickened as Tara’s face came intimately close and tenderly kissed her lips. Willow tried to deepen it but Tara held back, giving only soft kisses until Willow could barely breathe between each one.  
  
  
Tara’s palm splayed out on Willow’s outer thigh and slowly dragged down to her knee and then up on the other side. She pulled Willow’s thigh over her hip and let her fingertips dance where Willow was absolutely overflowing.  
  
  
She jerked her body so their nipples brushed and when Willow took a huge influx of air in response, Tara entered her. Willow bit down so hard on her lip she drew blood.  
  
  
Tara didn’t let that stop her from giving Willow her next breathless kiss.  
  
  
Willow felt so consumed and safe and deliciously tight like her body would die if it let go of Tara for even one second. Her second leg went around Tara and she gently rocked, afraid Tara would take away any part of her if she went too fast.  
  
  
She accepted every kiss until she forgot about what they were even doing and just knew Tara. It felt like what she imagined heaven to be; just them, their selves locked in a permanent state of bliss.  
  
  
She didn’t care if she came or not, because this was so wonderfully intimate and close and the kind of connection that had been missing as they had been dealing with the Emily situation, but still welcomed it when Tara seemed to know just the moment to increase the friction and offer a sweaty, screaming end to what had been something close to a religious experience.  
  
  
Tara didn’t roll off right away after Willow clenched around her, instead just pressing kisses to Willow’s shoulderblade until they naturally fell into an embrace curled into each other.  
  
  
They both looked out the window near their bed at the birds on the electrical lines.  
  
  
After a long while, Willow suddenly chuckled.  
  
  
“How much did you hate me when I first called you?”  
  
  
She glanced over at Tara and grinned.  
  
  
“It was the text that got you, wasn’t it?” she asked and the look on Tara’s face was all the answer she needed, “I knew it would.”  
  
  
Tara shook her head into the pillow.  
  
  
“Why were you trying to piss me off?”  
  
  
Willow opened her mouth to make a joke and closed it again. She looked over at Tara fully.  
  
  
“Because we’ve been fighting for weeks and I thought if you could feel that anger and convert it into sexy energy that we might clear the tension a little bit.”  
  
  
Tara slowly nodded.  
  
  
“Do you still feel the tension between us?”  
  
  
“Do you?” Willow deflected.  
  
  
Tara pursed her lips.  
  
  
“I think we’re processing this in different ways. And I think that’s causing some conflict even though we’ve stopped blaming and lashing out at each other.”  
  
  
Willow chewed on the corner of her lip.  
  
  
“How do we fix it?”  
  
  
She wasn’t used to feeling out of sync with Tara.  
  
  
Tara reached up and placed her palm over Willow’s heart.  
  
  
“Keep making love. Stay connected. Try to communicate without anger. Understand how each other is feeling.”  
  
  
Willow looked at Tara full of adoration and love.  
  
  
“Who needs therapy when I have you?”  
  
  
Tara lifted her palm to Willow’s cheek and kissed her again.  
  
  
“I still think therapy would be good. But you are my wife. You will always be my wife. And no matter what is thrown our way, we will figure it out. I love you. Okay?”  
  
  
Willow nodded.  
  
  
“I know. And I love you too. I hope you know that.”  
  
  
“I do,” Tara confirmed, “And we love Emily. Even if we don’t love the choices she makes.”  
  
  
Willow swallowed.  
  
  
“Still struggling with that part.”  
  
  
“It is a struggle,” Tara acknowledged, “But we’ve gotten through struggles before. We have to trust that we’ve raised a good kid.”  
  
  
“We have,” Willow said, her voice hollow, “Emphasis on ‘kid’.”  
  
  
Tara rubbed Willow’s arm and had not much to say.  
  
  
They looked out the window again for a while.  
  
  
“Hey, where’s your car?” Tara asked curiously after a few minutes, “It wasn’t in the driveway.”  
  
  
Willow smiled smugly.  
  
  
“Parked it across the street so you wouldn’t know I was here.”  
  
  
Tara lifted her head onto her upturned palm.  
  
  
“You are very dedicated to a bit.”  
  
  
“I knew the pay-off would be worth it,” Willow cocked an eyebrow.  
  
  
Tara rolled her eyes playfully.  
  
  
“Alice was making fun of me when I told her I was leaving that I was going home for some afternoon delight.”  
  
  
“Fire her,” Willow proclaimed with a joking grin, “How long do you have?”  
  
  
Tara shrugged one shoulder easily.  
  
  
“I told her I’d be gone for the afternoon.”  
  
  
Willow scooted closer.  
  
  
“Well in that case…” she murmured.  
  
  
Tara’s brow creased skeptically.  
  
  
“You can’t possibly be up for another round.”  
  
  
“No, I was going to ask you to drop my laptop into the office,” Willow replied innocently.  
  
  
Tara grabbed a pillow and hit Willow with it.  
  
  
“Hey!” Willow objected, or tried to through a giggle, before jumping off the bed to run away.  
  
  
“Get back here!” Tara called after her, then started to follow, “If the girls come home and we’re running around the house naked we’ll never see the end of the therapy bills!”  
  
  
Tara caught Willow in the hallway and Willow wrapped her arms around Tara’s waist.  
  
  
She smiled softly as if they weren’t both standing there stark naked.  
  
  
“For old time’s sake…” she tugged Tara’s waist closer to hers, “A go on the washing machine? It does all of the work…”  
  
  
Not for the first time, Tara found herself being convinced by that sweet, sweet smile.  
  
  
“Okay, but we better put it on a quick wash.”


	10. Chapter 10

Lily’s steps were heavy with frustration as she pounded down the stairs.  
  
  
“Mom, Emily is puking again,” she called in annoyance as she brushed past Tara and Willow sitting on the couch and fell into a beanbag with an exaggerated sigh.  
  
  
“Some compassion for your sister please,” Tara said with some side-eye as she squeezed Willow’s hand before letting go to stand and head upstairs.  
  
  
She went into the bathroom, where Emily was hunched over the toilet with the lid up.  
  
  
“Oh, koala bear,” Tara comforted as she got onto her knees to rub Emily’s back, wincing as she knew they would punish her later. Emily groaned and retched so Tara dampened a washcloth and patted it against her forehead, “I know, sweetheart. I had this pretty bad with you and your sister.”  
  
  
Emily's forehead slumped on the rim of the toilet and Tara grimaced whilst trying to move her daughter’s hair away.  
  
  
“Did it stop?”  
  
  
“Well, yes,” Tara replied with a slight frown, “When you were born.”  
  
  
Emily groaned.  
  
  
“But mine passed after the first trimester,” Willow’s voice came from the doorway, “And a lot of it is genetic.”  
  
  
Both Emily and Tara jumped but Tara was quick to recover.  
  
  
“That’s true,” she nodded encouragingly.  
  
  
Willow held out her arms a bit helplessly.  
  
  
“I brought ginger snaps.”  
  
  
Emily took them unsurely. Willow recognized that look of pained reminiscence and guessed that name had been tossed at Emily once or twice in the past.  
  
  
“I see the mean names haven’t changed since I was in school.”  
  
  
Tara helped Emily up, and Willow helped Tara up. Tara patted the small of Emily’s back.  
  
  
“Brush your teeth first, honey.”  
  
  
Emily picked up her toothbrush and paused. She glanced over at Tara.  
  
  
“C-Can we talk?”  
  
  
“Of course,” Tara agreed with a swift nod.  
  
  
In the doorway, Willow swung back and forth on her toes.  
  
  
“Can I be in on the conversation?”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes slowly looked at her daughter.  
  
  
“If you’re comfortable, Emmy,” she said and even though it made Willow feel like a piece of shit, she kept silent.  
  
  
She’d speak to Tara later about being made to feel like the junior partner _again_. This time, at least, she knew she contributed to the environment. But Emily was her daughter too and she deserved to be included.  
  
  
Emily just nodded silently and turned toward the sink.  
  
  
Tara stepped out and rotated her knees while she waited for Emily. Emily finished brushing her teeth and wandered into Willow and Tara’s room, where she curled up on the big bed and started to nibble on a ginger snap.  
  
  
Tara came in on Emily’s side and put an arm around her waist. Willow hesitated, but then came in on the other side and rested her head on the pillow. This was a familiar position with all of their children. Any issue or worry was tackled head-on with a mom sandwich.  
  
  
Willow could remember the last time she’d had each child in such a configuration.  
  
  
The club of all family sandwiches when Woofy had died. They all barely fit and were snotting on top of each other but no one cared if a foot was in their face or they had to snuggle into a butt — they needed to be together like that.  
  
  
JJ, a grown man whose feet fell off the end of the bed, availed during a brief break-up with Cleo in their second year of college during what had come to be known as The Cat Voodoo Incident.  
  
  
Kayden, when he got his acceptance letter from MIT and realized that he and Dylan would have to break-up.  
  
  
Robyn, when her application for the Peace Corps was initially rejected.  
  
  
Lily, when she played a note wrong at her last piano recital.  
  
  
And Emily, right around twelve weeks ago. For no apparent reason.  
  
  
Willow glanced at Emily’s stomach, starting to show signs of what was happening inside.  
  
  
The reason was apparent now.  
  
  
By the time she realized she was staring, Tara and Emily were already mid-conversation.  
  
  
“—having this baby in me is the only time I’ve felt strong because I have someone to be strong for.”  
  
  
Willow blinked several times and looked at her daughter.  
  
  
“Emily a baby is not an… an emotional crutch, it’s a real living human being. A helpless one at that.”  
  
  
“She,” Emily said quietly with her chin on her chest.  
  
  
“What?” Willow asked with a furrowed brow.  
  
  
Emily’s eyes glanced up with something Willow rarely saw in her: defiance.  
  
  
“She, not it.”  
  
  
Willow felt slightly scolded and shrugged her outer shoulder uncomfortably.  
  
  
“Have you truly considered all of your options?”  
  
  
Emily nodded slowly.  
  
  
“I can have an abortion,” she said matter-of-fact but then her eyes clouded over, “A r-real one this time. But I’m too late for the pills so it would be surgical.”  
  
  
“Do you know what that entails, sweetie?” Tara asked gently.  
  
  
Emily’s thumbs started spinning around each other.  
  
  
“The doctor would use a suction thingy and…clean everything out in there.”  
  
  
“And I would be there to hold your hand,” Tara said with a reassuring gaze.  
  
  
Emily’s eyebrows rose softly in surprise.  
  
  
“You could be there?”  
  
  
Tara nodded evenly.  
  
  
“I’ve done that for clients before.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyebrows shot up and Emily’s head turned more toward Tara.  
  
  
“What was it really like?”  
  
  
“Quick,” Tara answered honestly.  
  
  
Emily’s head settled back into the pillows and she stared up at the ceiling.  
  
  
“I’ve thought about adoption and I think adoption is really great,” she continued, nibbling on the corner of her lip, “But then, the rest of my life, I’d know. And I don’t think I’m strong enough without the thing to be strong for.”  
  
  
“You are,” Tara said with utter conviction, “You’re strong enough for anything. For any choice you make. You are strong.”  
  
  
“Like an amazon,” Willow said automatically, but it was hollow.  
  
  
“Strong like an amazon, right,” Tara smiled and nodded.  
  
  
Emily crossed her arms over her chest, unconvinced.  
  
  
“So I have two choices, really. I end the pregnancy or I… have a baby. And…I have no idea how my life would look with either of those choices. Except…”  
  
  
She stopped and swallowed. Tara patted her arm.  
  
  
“It’s okay, koala bear. Go ahead.”  
  
  
Emily’s eyes glanced furtively toward Tara.  
  
  
“Except I kinda do. I mean, I don’t know what I’d do or where I’d live or how I’d make money but I see her. I see a little girl who calls me M-Mama and runs up to me for a hug and I feel that love, I do.”  
  
  
“And what does that love feel like?” Tara encouraged.  
  
  
Tears filled Emily’s eyes.  
  
  
“Like the greatest gift in the world.”  
  
  
Tara smiled sadly and nodded quietly. On the other side of the bed, Willow held up a hand helplessly.  
  
  
“Emmy…” she sighed deeply, “You’re still in high school.”  
  
  
That same hand was thrown up dramatically.  
  
  
“I knew we should never have let them skip that year! If you were still a junior this wouldn’t even be a question! You think just because you’re graduating that this is okay?”  
  
  
“Willow…” Tara warned, though softly.  
  
  
Willow looked over to her wife with pleading eyes.  
  
  
“I’m trying, Tara,” she said with a desperate tone in her voice, “I was twenty-five when JJ came to us and if you hadn’t been around there was no way I could have coped. We took time off, we had to restructure our finances—”  
  
  
“Willow,” Tara said again, more insistently and with a stern look across the bed before looking back at her daughter, “Emily. You do need to think about your future and what it would look like with a child. You will always have a home in this house but you need to know how you would support you both. You and only you know what is the right decision for you but you need to take everything on board to make that decision.”  
  
  
Emily stared at Tara for a moment as her hand crept over her stomach. She looked back up to the ceiling and nodded. She then sat up.  
  
  
“I have to finish some homework.”  
  
  
“Okay, sweetheart,” Tara patted Emily’s back.  
  
  
Emily stood and took the bag of ginger snaps with her. She looked in Willow’s direction but her eyes were on the floor and her hair was in her face. Considering she came from Willow’s genes, Willow was stunned sometimes by how much she could look like Tara.  
  
  
“T-Thanks. These helped,” Emily said before turning on her heels and walking out of the room.  
  
  
The door swung to an almost-shut position behind her and Tara slowly turned her head toward Willow as they remained laying on the bed.  
  
  
Willow swallowed.  
  
  
“I’m sorry,” she said and before Tara could comment, either way, she continued, “I just…I feel like everyone has these rose-tinted glasses! And I’m the only one who can see reality.”  
  
  
“Willow, do you think I _want_ our sixteen-year-old daughter to have a baby?” Tara asked in exasperation, “ _It’s not our decision_.”  
  
  
Willow’s cheeks flushed with frustration.  
  
  
“Emily is going to you, talking to you and not me. It’s not fair! I’m always the lesser parent.”  
  
  
“Because I’m listening to her, Willow,” Tara sighed, “Why would she approach you when all you do is tell her what a horrible situation she’s put us in instead of trying to navigate how she deals with it? Do you want to be a decade in the future and she never speaks to you _at all_ because she blames you for making this choice for her?”  
  
  
Willow suddenly got quiet.  
  
  
“I didn’t know you did that.”  
  
  
Tara frowned. At this point, with thirty years of experience on her back, she was pretty good at deciphering Willow’s conversation jumps, but that one flummoxed her.  
  
  
“Did what?”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes glanced around furtively.  
  
  
“Been with clients who were getting an abortion.”  
  
  
Tara nodded slowly.  
  
  
“I support them however I can.”  
  
  
Willow’s head turned on the pillow.  
  
  
“Is that why this is so much easier for you?”  
  
  
Tara laughed, but it was more of a bark.  
  
  
“This isn’t easy for me,” she said, soft but unrelentingly intense, “I just recognize that it’s harder for Emily.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes creased. Tara put a hand on her wife’s cheek and turned on her side. She pressed her forehead to the side of Willow’s head and held her hand tight between them.  
  
  
Outside, Emily wandered into her bedroom but didn’t do the homework she’d mentioned. She hadn’t been lying, she did need to finish it, but it could wait a few minutes while she was lost in thought.  
  
  
She had almost laughed when Willow had asked her if she had considered her options. She’d thought of nothing else since those two lines had appeared on the test.  
  
  
Though any medical procedure felt scary, she thought she could go through an abortion. Her Mom had been in the room for some and she wouldn’t lie or misrepresent if she thought it was horrible. Emily had had her appendix out at age eleven and the pain before had been a lot worse than the pain after. So she wasn’t afraid of the idea of surgery and she wouldn’t even need to be knocked out. It felt very do-able. Practically, at least.  
  
  
She also knew that while she had visions of a baby, the pregnancy had not advanced far enough for that to be true yet. She wouldn’t be getting rid of a baby, she would be ending her pregnancy before it got to a point where it couldn’t be ended. Before her life was changed forever.  
  
  
Except that had already happened. Emily _knew_ she didn’t have a baby, that she wasn’t a mother and yet she still _felt_ it and she liked how it felt. She’d never even been able to decide what she might major in during college, but this…this felt like a natural fit. She knew there was a million and one reasons why having a baby right now was the worst possible idea. But every time she touched her stomach, a tingle went through her and landed in her heart. And that felt stronger than all of the doubts being fired at her.  
  
  
It was funny, she thought, that she’d been considering her options since that very first moment because all along she’d known in her heart what her decision would be.  
  
  
She was having a baby.  
  


* * *

  
Emily went to Tara first with her decision.   
  
  
She came home from school when Lily was at drama class so it was just the two of them. Emily used to go to those drama classes too. And music, and dance. She never enjoyed them and she wasn’t very good at them either, but Lily went so she did as well. The few times she’d tried to get out of them, Lily had guilted her into going saying it was for their future but lately, Lily hadn’t even commented when Emily dropped them all. It had been oddly freeing and given Emily lots of time to think about things she _actually_ wanted to do.  
  
  
When she hung her bookbag up and wandered into the kitchen, Tara only had to take one look at Emily and knew. She’d known for days. Truly, she’d known since the start. Lily and Emily came from Tara’s body and from their very first cry she’d known them as much as one could know another person.  
  
  
She silently strode across the kitchen and embraced Emily, kissing the top of her head.  
  
  
Willow knew something was up when she got home from some business and Lily was devouring a pizza right out of the box in the living room. Tara only resorted to take-out on a weekday if absolutely necessary.  
  
  
She said hello but Lily was engrossed in an old recording of the musical Hamilton and barely waved back.  
  
  
“That thing came out before she was born but she loves it,” Willow commented as she walked into the kitchen, where Emily was sitting on a stool at the island and Tara was standing the other side, “I swear she went up a whole letter grade in American History just from knowing that thing off by heart.”  
  
  
The room was silent and Willow slowly dropped her bag off from around her chest and to the floor. She opened her mouth to ask what was up, then closed it and swallowed.   
  
  
She knew too.  
  
  
“Oh,” she said and again had to swallow to find some moisture as she looked intently at Emily, “Are you sure?”  
  
  
Emily just nodded.  
  
  
“But I have a plan, Momma.”  
  
  
Willow dragged herself over to the island and sat on another stool. Tara quickly had a cold beer placed in front of her. Willow glanced over furtively but gratefully and took a long swig.  
  
  
“Okay, then. Tell me about this plan.”  
  
  
Emily faced Willow and rubbed her palms nervously on her thighs.  
  
  
“I know I need a way to pay for the baby so I’ve been looking up jobs that I could get. A-And it’s hard because someone will need to take care of the baby while I’m working. So I did some research and if I can get a job at the community college, I’ll have cheaper tuition and access to their daycare.”  
  
  
Willow nodded slowly.  
  
  
“What kind of job would you get there?”  
  
  
Emily shifted in her seat.  
  
  
“They need admin people or customer-facing roles, probably? I-I asked Marla for a recommendation. She said yes. I learned a lot when Lily and I spent that summer working in Sunnydale.”  
  
  
“‘Working’ is a generous term for what Lily did, by all accounts,” Willow murmured with a small roll of her eyes, “But you haven’t even graduated high school yet.”  
  
  
“I will in a couple of weeks,” Emily replied earnestly.  
  
  
Willow’s cheeks puffed up and she blew out air.  
  
  
“Even if they do decide to hire a pregnant teen,” she continued with more snark than intended, “How will they feel about you taking time off when the baby is born?”  
  
  
Emily bounced lightly; still jittery under her mother’s probing.  
  
  
“Um, that’s the best part. It’s a rolling 90-day contract on/off. They need it at peak times, so the summer months and the first three months of the year. It’s semester by semester.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes narrowed.  
  
  
“That means you don’t get paid for half of the year, possibly more.”  
  
  
“But she would be entitled to some supports, which I can help with,” Tara cut in and reached across to squeeze Emily’s arm.  
  
  
Emily smiled gratefully.  
  
  
“I have a budget,” she said, looking back at Willow with big, wide eyes like when she was a child and wanted to draw down her allowance, “And savings.”  
  
  
Willow’s brows lifted gently.  
  
  
“You do?”  
  
  
Emily nodded quickly; nervously.  
  
  
“I remembered all the stuff you taught us as kids about saving our allowance.”  
  
  
Willow opened her mouth, then closed it again and frowned.  
  
  
“How much is in that account? I don’t remember you ever making a withdrawal.”  
  
  
Emily bit her lip and looked sheepish.  
  
  
“Twelve thousand, four hundred, and two dollars.”  
  
  
“Whoa,” Willow nearly fell off the chair and steadied herself and her gaze, “I did the same thing when I was your age, I saved all my money. It was a godsend when…”  
  
  
She stopped and swallowed.  
  
  
“You’ve clearly thought this through,” she nodded and tensed her jaw to say the next words, “Where will you live?”  
  
  
Tara suddenly straightened up.  
  
  
“She’ll live here.”  
  
  
“You’ll pay rent,” Willow cut in, unable to meet Tara’s eye as she said so.  
  
  
For good reason as Tara’s face looked like thunder.  
  
  
“Willow, may I have a word?”  
  
  
“No, Mom, it’s okay,” Emily waved her hands in front of her, “I-I should pay rent. I’ll work it out.”  
  
  
“This is your home,” Tara insisted, “You won’t pay rent.”  
  
  
Willow found the bravery to look at Tara, steely.  
  
  
“Don’t undermine me.”  
  
  
“Don’t be so unreasonable,” Tara shot back and Emily clutched her stomach.  
  
  
“Please don’t fight.”  
  
  
Willow and Tara broke their angry gaze and each took a long breath.  
  
  
“Mom and I need to talk about some financials,” Willow said, trying to keep the calm in her voice, “But I know we’re both agreed that we want what’s best for you.”  
  
  
She bit inside her lip and tried to let the angry feeling go.  
  
  
“What would you study?”  
  
  
Emily shrunk helplessly.  
  
  
“I have no idea.”  
  
  
Before anyone could dwell on that, Lily suddenly burst into the room, waving her phone and jumping around dramatically.  
  
  
“I got in!”  
  
  
“Lil, calm down,” Willow said, standing to guide Lily into calmness, “What are you talking about?”  
  
  
Lily shoved her phone in Willow’s face. She could identify it was an email but Lily was waving it about too fast and too far away to tell what it actually said.  
  
  
“Julliard!” Lily screeched, running on the spot just to express all of her energy, “I got into Julliard!”  
  
  
Willow physically stumbled back.  
  
  
“Oh my god.”  
  
  
“Oh, sweetheart,” Tara rushed around to pull Lily into a hug.  
  
  
Lily bounced around hugging people and punching the air and just generally flailing and dancing with complete and utter joy.  
  
  
She tossed her arms up and jumped forward a whole foot.  
  
  
“I have to go tell Emmett!”  
  
  
She ran out of the room and Emily, whom Lily had spun around in all of her excitement, went green and clutched her stomach.  
  
  
“Oh.”  
  
  
“Come on,” Tara said and quickly rushed Emily out the door and into the bathroom.  
  
  
Willow watched her family disappear, leaving her alone in the stool to contemplate their lives.  
  
  
Her wife, for what felt like the first time ever, was not in the same lane as her. Their relationship had been better than weeks previous but this was still hanging over them and ‘this’ wasn’t going away. It was going to be there for the rest of their lives.  
  
  
And her daughters were going down paths she hadn’t expected they’d go on and it was hard to see what the ends would be. Was Lily capable of the rigorous demands that Julliard would expect? Was Emily really going to raise a child before ever getting a college degree, barely a high school diploma at that?  
  
  
Why couldn’t they all have just listened to her and met her reasonable, she thought, expectations?  
  
  
And it was at that moment Willow realized that she had turned into her mother.


	11. Chapter 11

Willow sat in her armchair, staring blankly ahead through the bay window in the living room.   
  
  
The sun was setting on the week and she didn’t feel any clearer about anything.  
  
  
Grandmother, she thought.  
  
  
 _I’m going to be a grandmother._  
  
  
In the end, Emily telling them she was going to keep the baby had been a bit of an anticlimax.  
  
  
With the news in the same moments of Lily’s acceptance in Julliard, her emotions were pushing and pulling her every which direction. She had decided for sure though, that she would not be the mother to children that her mother was to her. So here she was, looking out the window and wishing there wasn’t a civil war going on inside her soul.  
  
  
At least she and Tara weren’t fighting anymore. They had different views on how much financial support they would give Emily but they did agree that they would pay for any medical expenses and also that whatever was left in Emily’s college fund after her reduced tuition costs would roll over into a new account for the baby.  
  
  
The baby, Willow thought.  
  
  
She definitely didn’t have her head around that yet.  
  
  
But she was trying to be supportive of Emily’s plan because at least it involved her getting some kind of education. She would make sure her words would say all of the things her heart couldn’t yet.  
  
  
The doorbell rang and Willow had to shake herself out of her stupor. She stood, stretching her hamstrings, and felt a soft pop on her right knee. She groaned lightly and she didn’t even know if it was in pain or satisfaction. That’s how all of her joints felt lately.  
  
  
Probably because she’d be fifty in a few days.  
  
  
With everything else going on, she hadn’t had time to process that at all. Never fear, her body was quick to remind her and did so with every step to the front door.   
  
  
She figured it would be a neighborhood kid who lost his ball or a charity worker there to pester them into a subscription since Robyn had given every single one in the state their address. Or possibly Lily, having forgotten her keys again — a habit she’d inherited from her Zayde.  
  
  
Instead there stood a tall man with wavy brown hair and a short, scruffy beard with a backpack over one shoulder.  
  
  
“Kayden!” Willow exclaimed, throwing her arms around him so quickly her glasses almost flew off. She pushed them back up as she stood back and smiled, “What are you doing here?”  
  
  
“Happy Birthday!” Kayden laughed easily and leaned in to kiss Willow’s cheek.  
  
  
Willow held her hands over her heart.  
  
  
“It’s not until Sunday.”  
  
  
Kayden shrugged one shoulder and smiled.  
  
  
“I took a long weekend.”  
  
  
“K-Kayden?” Emily’s voice came from behind, on the stairs.  
  
  
Kayden walked in and dropped his bag by the coat rack.  
  
  
“Hey, little sis,” he greeted warmly, wrapping Emily into a hugged as she walked, dazed down the stairs.  
  
  
Willow fussed about getting Kayden’s coat from him.  
  
  
“Your mother’s going to be so happy to see you. Have you eaten? Mom will be home soon and we can have dinner but I can get you a snack.”  
  
  
“I’m fine, Momma,” Kayden started to dismiss, only for Emily to look at him intently and he nodded, “Uh, can I get a drink? Some uh…Kool-Aid?”  
  
  
Willow frowned slightly.  
  
  
“Um, sure,” she agreed, wandering into the kitchen, “We probably have some…somewhere.”  
  
  
Kayden brought Emily into the living room and closed over the door before sitting beside her on the couch.  
  
  
“Okay, kiddo,” he said, arching one perfectly sculpted eyebrow, “What the heck is up that you needed me to come out here so quick?”  
  
  
It took Willow quite a while to make up a pitcher of drink for Kayden but eventually, she found something in-date at the back of the pantry. She stirred it all up and brought it into the living room with two cups under her arm.  
  
  
“Well, it’s Crystal Light but I didn’t think you’d discriminate.”  
  
  
She placed them all down on the coffee table and straightened up.  
  
  
“What’s going on,” she asked when she saw the looks on both of their faces, then put it together, “Oh. You told him.”  
  
  
Kayden’s mouth was permanently open.  
  
  
“…wow.”  
  
  
“Yeah,” Willow swallowed.  
  
  
“Y-Yeah,” Emily gulped.  
  
  
“Honeys, I’m home,” Tara’s voice came after the rattle of the key In the door, “Sorry I’m late, I got caught up in a case.”  
  
  
Kayden had to blink rapidly as he knew he had about three seconds before a screaming hug was going to be directed at him and just about managed to stand before it came through.  
  
  
“Kayden!” Tara exclaimed, throwing her arms around him and kissing his cheek, “What a surprise!”  
  
  
She pulled away beaming, then read the room.  
  
  
“Oh,” she repeated in a softer tone than Willow had, “Okay. Well…this is good.”  
  
  
Tara reached out and rubbed Emily’s arm.  
  
  
“Well done, sweetheart. That was very brave. Kayden, are you okay?”  
  
  
“I mean, yeah,” Kayden shook his head quickly to pull himself back and put an arm around Emily, “I’ll be there however I can. I’ve got you, Emily.”  
  
  
“We all do,” Tara said with a promising smile.  
  
  
There was the sudden bang of a palm on the door, then a yell.  
  
  
“I lost my keys!”  
  
  
Willow looked pained but Kayden offered to go and answer it.  
  
  
“And there’s the Julliard girl!”  
  
  
Lily looked startled for a moment, then her face lit up.  
  
  
“Kay!” she screeched, jumping up into his arms and pulling back to grin at him. “Did you have a fluffah-nuttah for lunch?”  
  
  
Kayden gave a wry smile.  
  
  
“You know a joke doesn’t get more funny just because you keep saying it.”  
  
  
“Momma, take note,” Lily called out.  
  
  
The other three came out from the living room. Emily looked a little ashen-faced and Willow scowled.  
  
  
“How did you turn his diss around on me?”  
  
  
“Skills,” Lily retorted with a grin, “Can we eat? I’m starving. I worked up an appetite spending the afternoon with Emmett.”  
  
  
Willow groaned and threw her hands up before marching off to the kitchen with Tara quickly following her.  
  
  
Lily held her hands up innocently.  
  
  
“I don’t know what she’s groaning about. All we did was play Dance, Dance Revolution.”  
  
  
Kayden arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“You know what you did.”  
  
  
Lily flipped her hair.  
  
  
“What can I say?” she said, rolling her arms and tossing them up dramatically, “I’m a star.”  
  
  
Kayden put a big hand on Lily’s shoulder and offered a genuine smile.  
  
  
“Congratulations Lil. You did amazing.”  
  
  
He put his other hand on Emily’s shoulder.  
  
  
“You too,” he said sincerely, “What you’re doing is extraordinary.”  
  
  
He slid around so an arm went under each of them.  
  
  
“Let’s go eat Mom’s delicious dinner.”  
  
  
“Momma cooked,” Emily informed them while adjusting her glasses.  
  
  
Kayden nodded evenly.  
  
  
“Let’s go eat Momma’s dinner.”  
  
  
He and Lily laughed.  
  
  
Kayden walked out with both of his sisters under his arms, making them feel safe; remembering once again that the best thing about being a big brother was having little sisters.  
  
  
And now, a niece.  
  
  
Emily closed her eyes as she sat at the table and blended into the conversation but she was distracted by a single thought. It had come from nowhere but now stuck around like a bad smell, lingering and making her feel unsure how to proceed.  
  
  
 _Adam. His name was Adam._  
  
  
She was going to have to plug her nose and ignore it.  
  
  
That was one complication too much for her.  
  


* * *

  
Kayden and Emily sat in the back yard on a blanket with their sketchbooks, a situation they’d found themselves in many times on nice Spring or Summer day growing up. They liked to sketch the clouds or the ladybugs on the grass or the way Woofy would play with the birds; actually play, never aggressive.  
  
  
Kayden watched Miss Kitty Fantastico stake out the birdbath and though he was fond of the little thing, he would never get over the loss of that dog. His eyes went over to the spot of his burial with the bone-shaped headstone and said a silent Hebrew honorific for his old pal.  
  
  
Though he had never officially converted to Judaism, he’d never felt like he’d needed to either. Ira had taught him a lot and Willow had taught him some too and he picked up a lot just from conversations around the table. He would never forget the first time he was asked to say the Shabbat blessing. It had spoken to a place deep inside him and he did everything he could to embrace his family’s culture since then.  
  
  
He even studied Hebrew in college, which JJ joked was when he officially became The Favorite Grandson, but he never doubted for one second that Ira loved each of them equally. That meant a lot to him from the person who had shown him how to be a man.  
  
  
“Hey Em, can you pass me the russet pencil?”  
  
  
Emily passed it over with a sad smile.  
  
  
“Drawing Woofy?”  
  
  
Kayden smiled the same way back and nodded.  
  
  
“He’d love that Momma hasn’t mowed the grass.”  
  
  
Emily nodded fondly.  
  
  
“He liked to hide and scare the birds.”  
  
  
“I swear he learned it from Robyn jumping out at us all the time,” Kayden laughed.  
  
  
They both continued to sketch thoughtfully.  
  
  
“So how’s school going?” Kayden asked after some more time passed.  
  
  
Emily’s lips pursed uncomfortably. Her stomach was starting to stick out but she’d just been thrown a few comments along the lines of ‘putting on the freshman fifteen before you’re even a freshman’.  
  
  
“Nobody suspects,” she replied quietly, “They would never suspect. One time Lily ate an extra taco at lunch and by fifth period she was dropping out to go on that MTV show but they never suspect that I’m the one who became the disappointment.”  
  
  
Kayden let his pencil roll away and Miss Kitty started to bat it around.  
  
  
“Hey…” he said tenderly and enclosed her in a hug from behind, “You made a mistake. And you had your reasons. You’re not a disappointment. You’re my favorite littlest sister ever.”  
  
  
Emily couldn’t help but smile. She’d always felt her sensitive soul and Kayden’s sensitive soul were linked and him hugging her like this, originally when she was much smaller and would fit right into the crook of his body, always made her feel safe.  
  
  
“Emily, can I ask who the fa—”  
  
  
Suddenly there was the sound of screaming from inside the house and Kayden and Emily shared a concerned look. They jumped up and ran into the house, where JJ was picking Willow up off her feet in a hug while Tara looked on with joy to see her baby.  
  
  
“A boy can’t surprise his Momma for her birthday?”  
  
  
He put her down and spied Kayden and Emily. His eyes widened and he strode over, holding his hand out for Kayden to shake. He pulled him into a hug.  
  
  
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming up too bro?” he asked and lowered his voice with an arched eyebrow, “Kinda stole my thunder.”  
  
  
“Got a last-minute train,” Kayden nodded and gave the same look back, “What about you?”  
  
  
“I’ve had a busy week,” JJ defended and had a hint of a smirk on his face, “It _ran rings_ around me.”  
  
  
It took a moment, then Kayden’s eyes widened.  
  
  
“No way.”  
  
  
“Shush, shush,” JJ whispered and cast a furtive look around.  
  
  
Kayden’s smile lit up his face.  
  
  
“Finally. How long have you had that thing?”  
  
  
JJ rolled his eyes.  
  
  
“Yeah, yeah. Not a word,” he said insistently and released Kayden to shout back, “I’m gonna go check out the fridge.”  
  
  
“Some things never change,” Willow commented with a shake of her head and Tara lightly tapped her shoulder to let him go.  
  
  
Cleo arrived through the door while hanging up her cell phone.  
  
  
“Sorry. Rabbit swallowed a Lego head. Pooped it out. Crisis averted! Hi everyone!”  
  
  
Willow and Tara went to hug Cleo while Emily looked up curiously.   
  
  
She remembered having that same worry once when Miss Kitty had a UTI and she’d stayed up all night to make sure the cat took in enough water. The feeling of relief in the morning when there were no more mews of pain had been ecstasy-inducing in Emily.  
  
  
“I-It must be fun to be relieved something pooped.”  
  
  
Cleo chuckled good-naturedly.  
  
  
“Make fun of me all you want.”  
  
  
Emily frowned and averted her gaze.  
  
  
“I-I’m not.”  
  
  
Before Cleo could react, Kayden was wrapping her in a big bear hug.  
  
  
“Hey, you,” she smiled in surprise, “What are you doing here?”  
  
  
Kayden just grinned.  
  
  
“JJ told me.”  
  
  
Cleo’s eyes widened and she angled them away from the rest of the family.  
  
  
“Big mouth. We were supposed to tell everyone together.”  
  
  
“I did help pick out the ring,” Kayden argued and bumped Cleo’s shoulder.  
  
  
Cleo couldn’t help but grin back.  
  
  
“In that case, you’re my favorite soon-to-be brother-in-law ever. It's a _dream_.”  
  
  
Kayden chuckled but it ended in a sigh. His eyes cast over Cleo’s shoulder and back at her.  
  
  
“Emily told me that she told you.”   
  
  
Cleo’s eyes clouded over. Kayden lowered his voice and cocked his head toward the kitchen.  
  
  
“Does he know?”  
  
  
Cleo shook her head.  
  
  
“No idea,” she said with a pained look on her face, “I was literally about to tell him when he proposed. We were standing on the bridge over the pond in Central Park. We were talking all about family. I thought it was the perfect moment and apparently so did he.”  
  
  
Kayden puffed up his cheeks and blew out some air. He squeezed Cleo’s shoulder.  
  
  
“Congratulations,” he said sincerely then shot her a wide-eyed look, “This weekend is going to be chaos.”  
  
  
“What’s new?” Cleo asked with an arched eyebrow, then kicked Kayden’s shoe, “I miss you. Why don’t you come to New York more often?”  
  
  
“Why don’t you come to Boston?” Kayden countered.  
  
  
Cleo waggled a finger.  
  
  
“Because I work night shifts and don’t make your big architect money. Your turn.”  
  
  
Kayden smiled sheepishly.  
  
  
“I’m scared of your Mami.”  
  
  
Cleo’s mouth spread in a grin.  
  
  
“Fair.”  
  
  
“Cleo, Kayden, stop chin-wagging and come have lunch,” Willow called from the kitchen.  
  
  
They walked into the kitchen together, where JJ was giving Emily a big squeeze.  
  
  
“Does he really not notice the belly?” Kayden murmured to Cleo.  
  
  
Cleo arched an eyebrow as she walked further in to claim some food before JJ demolished it entirely.  
  
  
“He knows better than to comment on a woman’s weight.”  
  
  
Willow was cutting some cheese into cubes to replace the ones JJ was inhaling when she felt a little kiss on her shoulder.  
  
  
“Isn’t it great?” Tara murmured behind Willow’s ear, “Our boys are home for your birthday.”  
  
  
Willow smiled sadly and fed Tara a piece of cheese over her shoulder.  
  
  
“I wish Robbie was here.”  
  
  
“We’ll holo her,” Tara promised and Willow offered a quick smile of agreement.  
  
  
“This was all I wanted for my birthday. All my family together.”  
  
  
Lily arrived home soon after and was equally surprised and happy to see JJ as she had been Kayden.  
  
  
“Did you bring me some NuNus?” she asked with her arms swung around JJ’s neck.  
  
  
“No-No,” JJ replied with his tongue stuck between his teeth, “Anyway, I hear you’re going to be able to get all the Brooklyn chocolate you want soon.”  
  
  
Lily slid her hands down over JJ’s shoulders and looked up at him with big, serious eyes.  
  
  
“Can I live with you and Cleo?”  
  
  
JJ’s eyebrows flew up and his eyes started to fly around, looking for help.  
  
  
“Uhhh…”  
  
  
Lily flashed her teeth and patted JJ’s chest.  
  
  
“Jokes,” she said, moving away from in with a little dance, “You’d cramp my style. Besides, me and Emmett are going to find a place after I leave the dorms. Just as soon as I convince him.”  
  
  
JJ rolled his eyes.  
  
  
“Good luck with that.”  
  
  
A mish-mash platter of lunch foods was brought into the dining room and everyone sat around to eat. Almost everyone, anyway, as JJ continued to stand proudly with an ear-splitting grin.  
  
  
“I have an announcement to make.”  
  
  
People offered him their general attention but didn’t stop eating. JJ cleared his throat.  
  
  
“Little attention, please, people. You’re like hungry animals.”  
  
  
“Oh how the tide has changed,” Willow muttered under her breath.  
  
  
“Just hush, huh?” JJ retorted with a little bit of that New York City living coming out in his accent.  
  
  
He grabbed Cleo by the shoulders and forced her to stand as she quickly swallowed a corner of ciabatta and wiped a smidge of butter out of the corner of her mouth.  
  
  
JJ waited for a beat to enjoy the expectant faces, then threw his hands up.  
  
  
“Cleo and I are getting hitched!”  
  
  
“Nice,” Cleo nodded evenly, “Very profound. Definitely worth listening to you mumble your speech under your breath the whole way up here.”  
  
  
There were suitable cheers and shrieks from the ladies while Kayden threw them both a wink.  
  
  
“JJ!” Willow said, pushing her chair back to go over and hug them, “Finally!”  
  
  
“Jacob,” Tara held her hands to her heart as she did the same, “Cleo.”  
  
  
She held both of their faces with each hand and kissed all over their cheeks. Cleo scrunched her face up with a smile.  
  
  
“Yep, you’re currently beating my mom in the smother kiss territory.”  
  
  
“She still has me beat in cat disease knowledge,” Tara replied kindly.  
  
  
Cleo grimaced.  
  
  
“That was an awkward family game night.”  
  
  
She accepted hugs from everybody and couldn’t help but grin wildly as she sneaked glances at JJ.  
  
  
“But seriously, we need everybody’s help,” she said and before anyone could answer ‘of course’, she blurted, “Because we’re getting married in August!”  
  
  
“This August?” Willow’s eyes bugged out of her head and she slowly frowned, “But Robbie won’t be there.”  
  
  
“I’ve already asked Robbie to be my virtual best woman,” JJ said with a proud smile, “She’s very on board. She wants to make an outfit out of rainforest leaves. Don’t worry, I’ll be sending her something.”  
  
  
“And I’d love for you both to be my bridesmaids,” Cleo nodded keenly at Lily and Emily.  
  
  
Lily jumped up excitedly and Emily frowned. She looked up at Cleo.  
  
  
“I’ll be—”  
  
  
“Beautiful in the dresses we pick out,” Cleo cut her off with a reassuring and meaningful look.  
  
  
Emily swallowed and mouthed ‘thank you’.  
  
  
“Why so soon?” Willow asked with a quizzical furrow of her brow, “What’s the rush?”  
  
  
“I planned our wedding in the same kind of timescale,” Tara pointed out.  
  
  
“That’s kind of it,” Cleo saw her ‘in’ and jumped on it quickly, “I love your wedding photos. Outside in the park. The flowers and the scenery. The shots are so beautiful. And I love the park we live next to. I go running in it every morning. The thing is, only residents of the neighborhood are allowed access. As you all know from the time Robyn was nearly arrested from trying to scale the fence to get in.”  
  
  
Willow huffed out a breath and Tara covered her hand and squeezed it.  
  
  
“So if we want to get married there, we have to be living there,” Cleo continued slowly, “Which we won’t be. After August.”  
  
  
Everyone was silent.  
  
  
“Are you moving?” Tara asked the question everyone else forgot to.  
  
  
Cleo nodded and looked to JJ for support, who wrapped his arm around her shoulder.  
  
  
“I’ve been given an amazing opportunity with a girl I went to college with. We’re going to take over her Dad’s practice together.”  
  
  
“Wow, Cleo, that’s fantastic,” Tara gushed proudly.  
  
  
“Where are you moving to?” Lily asked, “And can I crash on your couch instead of coming back here for summers?”  
  
  
“Gee, thanks,” Willow replied wryly.  
  
  
Cleo bit her lower lip.  
  
  
“We’re moving to Canada,” she revealed with a little bounce up onto her toes, “Toronto, specifically.”  
  
  
Willow smacked a hand on the table.  
  
  
“I thought you were going to say Siberia the way you were acting! Toronto is close!”  
  
  
There was a fresh round of hugs and when Tara hugged JJ she pulled back and held him at arm's length, smiling sadly. JJ’s brow creased.  
  
  
“Mom, what’s wrong? Aren’t you happy?”  
  
  
“Thrilled,” Tara replied sincerely and squeezed JJ’s arms, “I’m just sad you won’t be in Manhattan.”  
  
  
“They got nice hotels there,” JJ replied with a crooked smile, “You don’t need me to live there.”  
  
  
Tara couldn’t help but smile back.  
  
  
“I was…” she paused and her eyes creased, “Glad. That you would be around. For Lily, when she moves down for college.”  
  
  
“Lily will be okay, Mom,” JJ reassured quickly, “Just have a liquid bail fund on hand. I’m sure you have one leftover from Robyn.”  
  
  
Tara tapped JJ’s arm.  
  
  
“Oh you,” she shook her head and looked off for a moment, “I just always thought she would have Emily to keep her grounded.”  
  
  
“Why won’t she have Emily?” JJ frowned, “Did Emily get in somewhere else?”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes widened and she dropped her hands.  
  
  
“Oh,” she swallowed and tried to quickly divert the topic, “Toronto is what, less than an hour on the train? I remember when it would take at least four.”  
  
  
JJ’s face broke out in a smile.  
  
  
“Close to my fam and better healthcare, what more could I want?”  
  
  
“At least we have medicare for all now down here,” Tara replied softly, “Someday we’ll catch up with our northern sisters.”  
  
  
“There _is_ the suggestion of a job?” Willow called over curiously.  
  
  
JJ suddenly backed up and motioned holding a stick between his legs.  
  
  
“Well, I’ve been getting into ice-hockey,” he grinned as he batted a pretend puck around, “But I won’t have to worry about it because I’m the new junior sports commentator for the Toronto Raptors! Wait right there!”  
  
  
He ran out of the room and returned moments later, tossing shirts at everybody.  
  
  
“Raptors jerseys for everyone!”  
  
  
Willow and Tara examined their jerseys gratefully while Lily pulled hers into a crop top. Kayden strode over to a beaming JJ and held out his hand.  
  
  
“Jake, congratulations. I couldn’t be happier for you,” he said as he and JJ shook and pulled each other into a hug, “I’ll go out and get some champagne.”  
  
  
“Thanks, bro,” JJ replied with a flash of sparkling teeth, “And hey, just because I have a best woman doesn’t mean I won’t also need a best man.”  
  
  
They shared a smile and parted so Kayden could sneak off to the liquor store.  
  
  
While he was at the fridge picking out a bottle, he heard a familiar voice.  
  
  
“Thanks, I appreciate it.”  
  
  
His ears pricked and he looked over.  
  
  
“Dylan,” he said without really meaning to.  
  
  
Dylan turned, his sandy blonde hair falling into his face just like when they were kids.   
  
  
Like the first time they kissed and it had tickled Kayden’s nose.  
  
  
Like every time Kayden swept it from his brow just to have an excuse to touch him.  
  
  
“Kayden!” Dylan replied, his face lighting up as he strode toward Kayden, “My man, it’s been a minute.”  
  
  
Kayden hoped he wasn’t blushing hearing Dylan say ‘my man’ and if he was, that Dylan didn’t notice.  
  
  
“I was just changing some cash for the parking meter,” Dylan continued, certainty not indicating that he saw Kayden’s pink cheeks.  
  
  
Kayden shook himself out of his staring and smiled easily.  
  
  
“You were always old school. You can use your watch, you know?” he said with a sad fondness, remembering how Dylan would write everything out in a notebook before he posted it just to get the full ‘feel’, “Are you, uh, visiting your Mom?”  
  
  
A different kind of sadness spread on Dylan’s face.  
  
  
“Kinda,” he looked down for a moment, “I’m moving back home for a while. While we find an assisted living home. Her MS is getting worse.”  
  
  
“Dylan,” Kayden reached out and their fingers brushed before Kayden let his arm fall by his side, “I’m so sorry. I had no idea. What about your job? I know how much you love it.”  
  
  
“It’s one of the perks of being a graphic designer. I can work wherever I want,” Dylan replied with a stiff nod, “I’ve been thinking of coming back east for a while anyway. California just never felt like home.”  
  
  
Kayden gulped. He looked down and moved the bottle in his hand to the other side.  
  
  
“My brother just got engaged. We’re celebrating.”  
  
  
Dylan smiled again, that easy one that always made Kayden feel like he was being cocooned by a cloud; safe from everything.  
  
  
“That’s amazing. I always loved JJ. He always knew every sports stat. Give him my best.”  
  
  
“I will,” Kayden nodded evenly, “And well, uh, I’m definitely going to be coming home a lot more often in the next few months. Maybe we could catch a coffee sometime? Or a beer?”  
  
  
“I’d like that,” Dylan agreed, then his phone beeped in his pocket, “Hey, I gotta go. I’m volunteering at a mentoring program and I’m meeting this kid.”  
  
  
Kayden started to raise his hand to say goodbye but Dylan looked at him quizzically first.  
  
  
“Could I ask for your advice? Tell me if it’s too much.”  
  
  
Kayden shrugged.  
  
  
“Go ahead.”  
  
  
Dylan opened his mouth and closed it again as he considered how to word his request.  
  
  
“In short. This kid, too afraid to come out. Even to himself. Dad is homophobic and I get the impression it’s the biggest barrier. Have to approach very delicately because I think he’d cut and run if he suspected I knew he was gay too,” he paused and it was long, “I know you dealt with…something like this.”  
  
  
Kayden’s breath went tight in his chest. Dylan noticed right away and waved his hands.  
  
  
“Kayden, I’m so sorry. I had no right to bring this up with you. I’m sorry.”  
  
  
He started to back away but Kayden caught his arm.  
  
  
“Tell him to get away,” he answered softly, “However he can. He’ll find his people. But only when he feels safe enough to find himself.”  
  
  
Dylan covered Kayden’s hand on his arm.  
  
  
“Thanks, K.”  
  
  
Kayden nodded once.  
  
  
“Anytime, D.”  
  
  
He didn’t drop his hand until Dylan dropped his.  
  
  
“I hope you mean that,” Dylan said with a playfully arched eyebrow, “Because I’ll be taking you up on that offer for a drink.”  
  
  
“Oh, I do,” Kayden smirked and this time he didn’t care if he blushed, “See you around, Dylan.”  
  
  
Dylan raised his hand and waved as he left the store and broke out into a light jog to get to his mentee. He didn’t want to be late but the guy had punctuality drilled into him as well as every other skill that might benefit him in business.  
  
  
Of course, he was already at the street corner when Dylan approached but didn’t seem annoyed to be kept waiting. Dylan raised his hand again, this time in greeting.  
  
  
“Hey, Emmett.”


	12. Chapter 12

“Tara…”  
  
  
Willow felt consciousness seep into her brain with a light tickle below her knee. She giggled sleepily.  
  
  
“Mmm…Tara, stop…”  
  
  
The sensation continued and Willow’s leg jerked.  
  
  
“It tickles,” she mumbled, pursing her lips to hold in the laughter, “Feels good though.”  
  
  
Suddenly something leaped out from under the blanket.  
  
  
“Ahh!” Willow screamed, then put her hand over her heart as she watched Miss Kitty shoot out the door, “Ohhh…”  
  
  
The cat zipped between Tara’s legs, who was standing in the doorway in a short robe, holding two mugs.  
  
  
“Oh honey,” Tara said in a comforting voice as she came and sat on the end of the mattress, “Is the pussy turning you on?”  
  
  
Willow blushed as she realized the true perpetrator of her morning tonguing.  
  
  
She grabbed the cup of coffee offered to her as indignantly as she could without sloshing it.  
  
  
“How long have you been watching me?”  
  
  
“Long enough to see the kitty find your sweet spot,” Tara grinned over her mug, “If I knew the back of your knee was so sensitive…”  
  
  
She reached out and tickled said spot. Willow jerked away again, a ticklish smile tugging at her lips.  
  
  
“Stop!”  
  
  
Tara relented.  
  
  
“I don’t know whether to be offended or not that you thought a spiky cat tongue was mine.”  
  
  
Willow pulled herself up into a sitting position.  
  
  
“I can’t deal with any more drama so I’d appreciate you going with ‘not’.”  
  
  
She took a slow sip of coffee. Tara gently rubbed Willow’s calf.  
  
  
“Happy Birthday, love.”  
  
  
Willow smirked to herself. That’s why Tara was wearing her short robe.  
  
  
“Is it?” she asked, rolling her eyes, “Happy?”  
  
  
“Yes,” Tara replied insistently, “Our kids are home. We’ll holo with Robyn later. We’re—”  
  
  
“About to be premature grandmothers,” Willow grumbled behind her mug.  
  
  
“—going to spend a lovely, relaxed day together,” Tara amended brightly.  
  
  
Willow perked up.  
  
  
“Are we?”  
  
  
“ _Yes_ ,” Tara replied reassuringly, “I’m taking you to breakfast, and then we’re going to do a little walking tour.”  
  
  
“Of what?” Willow asked with narrowed eyes.  
  
  
“Surprise,” Tara grinned.  
  
  
Willow’s lips tugged upward.  
  
  
“What about the kids?”  
  
  
“I’ve made them pancakes,” Tara shrugged, “Whenever they wake up.”  
  
  
Willow chuckled wryly.  
  
  
“Some things never change.”  
  
  
Tara’s fingers danced toward Willow’s knee.  
  
  
“If you want I can…”  
  
  
“Quit it,” Willow giggled and Tara did, but only to press their lips together.  
  
  
When they parted, Willow was smiling sadly.  
  
  
“I don’t feel 50.”  
  
  
Tara covered Willow’s hand on the bed.  
  
  
“What do you feel?”  
  
  
“I dunno,” Willow answered honestly.  
  
  
Tara smiled understandingly.  
  
  
“Would a birthday present cheer you up?”  
  
  
Willow tried to withhold a grin.  
  
  
“Might do,” she said, lifting her chin, “Depends.”  
  
  
Tara went over to the closet and brought back something large and flat that still managed to be prettily wrapped. Willow took it with a suspicious look when she felt it to be quite soft and almost like foam.  
  
  
She ripped open the packaging and revealed a pair of knee pads. She frowned.  
  
  
“Technically they’re for me,” Tara explained off the confused look.  
  
  
Willow turned the pads around in her hands.  
  
  
“Are you also looking to get into hockey?”  
  
  
Tara arched an eyebrow alluringly.  
  
  
“Just the tonsil variety.”  
  
  
“Oh,” Willow replied, then her head shot up with wide eyes, “Oh!”  
  
  
She bounced excitedly.  
  
  
“Really? Last time either of us tried that we got stuck down there.”  
  
  
Tara stretched her deliciously-on-show legs.  
  
  
“I’ve been limbering up.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes followed every stretched, taut muscle.  
  
  
‘Is that a fact?”  
  
  
Tara brought herself over Willow’s body.  
  
  
“It sure is.”  
  
  
A grin spread across Willow’s face.  
  
  
“In that case…”  
  
  
Miss Kitty returned but stopped in the doorway, arched her back ready to attack, then spun around and fled so fast the door whooshed shut.  
  
  
It was quite a while later when Willow and Tara made their way down the stairs, dressed for the day and holding hands.   
  
  
It was quiet.  
  
  
“They’re seriously still not up?” Willow asked, shaking her head, “Only two of them are teenagers.”  
  
  
Tara tugged Willow’s hand.  
  
  
“Escape now, roll eyes later.”  
  
  
“A plan I can get behind,” Willow agreed and happily let Tara bring her out to the car and drive them to their favorite little breakfast nook.  
  
  
Tara had Eggs Benedict and Willow had hash brows, eggs sunny-side-up, bacon, a sausage patty, and a side of toast.  
  
  
“Enjoy it, belly,” she said, rubbing her stomach before taking the first bite, “Our 50s metabolism is about to set in.”  
  
  
Tara held up her glass of orange juice, which Willow clinked with her mimosa. Hell, she wasn’t the designated driver.  
  
  
“Don’t worry, the hot flashes make the thought of eating nauseating,” Tara said in what tried to be a comforting tone, though her grin gave her away.  
  
  
“Bring it,” Willow waved her glass around, “I could do with the distraction.”  
  
  
Tara covered Willow’s hand on the table.  
  
  
“I wish I could make this…”  
  
  
Willow arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“There’s no making this easier,” she said with a shake of her head.  
  
  
“No, but,” Tara paused and offered a smile, “Not today, hey?”  
  
  
“Not today,” Willow nodded in agreement.  
  
  
She speared a piece of hash brown and popped it into her mouth.  
  
  
“So where are we going on this walking tour?”  
  


* * *

  
Willow looked around the large, empty room she was standing in.  
  
  
Up to now, her walk with Tara had been pleasant if completely normal walk around the city. But then Tara had brought her into one of the buildings and Willow was suddenly at a loss as to what they were doing.  
  
  
“Very…corporate-chic?” she commented on the stone wall and skylight.  
  
  
She walked up to Tara sheepishly.  
  
  
“I’m sorry. I’m trying to tap into my inner artist but she’s not answering. I don’t get it. What exactly is this, some kind of installation? If so, they need to advertise better. There’s no one else here.”  
  
  
Tara chuckled and placed her palms on either side of Willow’s collarbone.  
  
  
“It’s a restaurant space,” she clarified, “I made some viewings in some open rentals for you to look at and see if you think Bibliosmia might work out here in some more…reasonable locations.”  
  
  
Willow looked up, touched.  
  
  
“You did that?”  
  
  
Tara nodded.  
  
  
“I know you’ve been pouring over the books and speaking to Marla a lot. You’re really into the idea of a Buffalo Bibliosmia.”  
  
  
Willow frowned.  
  
  
“Did she call you and ask you to get me to stop?”  
  
  
“No,” Tara laughed and tapped Willow’s nose, “She sounded excited by the idea. And so am I.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyebrows rose softly.  
  
  
“Really?”  
  
  
Tara nodded quickly.  
  
  
“I’d love to see you involved in something like that. You love chatting with the customers when we go out to visit. It would be amazing to have one on our doorstep. You have too much time to think at home. I want to see you busy again with something you truly love.”  
  
  
Willow swallowed and lifted Tara’s hands, kissing each set of knuckles.  
  
  
“Tara, that’s amazing. I can’t believe you’ve done all that for me.”  
  
  
Tara slid her hands onto Willow’s cheeks and pecked her lips.  
  
  
“Something tells me corporate-chic isn’t doing it for you.”  
  
  
Willow looked around and threw a hand up.  
  
  
“It’s not un-nice. But it’s just not…”  
  
  
Tara smiled and nodded.  
  
  
“That’s okay. We shall move on.”  
  
  
She offered her arm. Willow gladly took it.  
  
  
It was late afternoon by the time they’d seen all six viewings that Tara had arranged and they stopped for some ice-cream. They sat on a park bench together and linked arms.  
  
  
“Those were all amazing,” Willow said as she spooned a little of Tara’s butter pecan.  
  
  
Tara looked over with a slightly resigned smile.  
  
  
“But they’re not the waterfront location.”  
  
  
They had seen some lovely outfits; vast and intimate, inner views and outer views, every type of wood and marble and stone carved to house a beautiful blueprint to which they could recreate the success of the Sunnydale store, but Willow just didn’t feel that same oomph of the restaurant that had sparked the idea in the first place.  
  
  
“I just felt the Bibliosmia magic there.”  
  
  
Tara dragged the little wooden spoon against her tongue.  
  
  
“I wonder when the current restaurant is leaving”  
  
  
“June 1st,” Willow answered automatically, then grimaced and looked over apologetically, “I checked into it. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”  
  
  
Tara didn’t seem offended, just curious.  
  
  
“Did you look into how much it would cost to take over the lease?”  
  
  
Willow slumped sadly.  
  
  
“More digits than our phone number,” she grumbled and gave a pained look across the bench, “And owned by the Restaurant Direct Group.”  
  
  
Tara gave Willow an unsure look. Willow sighed.  
  
  
“Which is a subsidiary of McFarland Industries.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes widened.  
  
  
“Oh, Willow. That’s Emmett’s—”  
  
  
Willow held her hands up.  
  
  
“I know. I know. Too messy. Way too messy,” she conceded, picking her ice-cream back up, “I don’t even know if I want to do it if I can’t do it there.”  
  
  
Her lips pursed.  
  
  
“But unless one of the biggest faces of corporate greed decides to be philanthropic and pull a Willy Wonka on me, I don’t think this is happening.”  
  
  
Tara felt her heart sink. She’d seen how Willow’s eyes had lit up with the idea.  
  
  
“Please think about the other locations? Or scouting your own?”  
  
  
Willow looked over and leaned over to peck Tara’s lips.  
  
  
“I will,” she promised and it wasn’t entirely a lie. She’d do it, she just knew nothing would come from it, “And I love you so much for organizing this for me.”  
  
  
They finished their ice-cream and started to head back toward the car.  
  
  
“Now you have a choice,” Tara offered as she started the engine, “Dinner at Vinchenzo’s or send the boys out to pick up and eat at home with them?”  
  
  
“Eat with them,” Willow answered automatically, “If they’re even up yet. The lazy louts.”  
  
  
They shared a smile and headed home.  
  
  
As soon as they opened the front door, they could hear the screaming.  
  
  
“You knew and you didn’t tell me?!”  
  
  
They both rushed in and saw JJ poking an accusing finger at Cleo. Kayden was pulling JJ back and Lily was holding up her hands and rolling her eyes.  
  
  
“What is going on?” Willow demanded.  
  
  
JJ spun around, irate.  
  
  
“Your daughter decided _this_ weekend would be a great time to announce that she got knocked up.”  
  
  
“Jacob!” Tara scolded, eyes flashing with anger.  
  
  
JJ threw his hands up.  
  
  
“Stealing my thunder all over this weekend.”  
  
  
“You’re being an ass right now, JJ,” Lily rolled her eyes again.  
  
  
“Bro, you’re being really heavy,” Kayden said, trying to keep a calm voice, “Nobody is taking away from your news.”  
  
  
Tara looked around and realized Emily wasn’t there. She quickly left and went upstairs, where she heard voices.  
  
  
She pushed the door of the twins’ bedroom open, where Emily was sitting on the floor by her bed with a holograph of Robyn shooting up from her phone.  
  
  
“Emmy, baby girl. No one hates you. There’s no shame in any choice, including this one.”  
  
  
Tara silently came over and sat next to Emily, kissing her head.  
  
  
“Hi Robbie,” she smiled at the flickering image.  
  
  
“Hi Mom,” Robyn smiled a crooked smile.  
  
  
Tara rubbed Emily’s arm.  
  
  
“Your sister is right.”  
  
  
“Can you say that again?” Robyn prompted with a grin.  
  
  
“We love you, Emily,” Tara said instead with a reassuring nod.  
  
  
“JJ is being a jackass because he wants the attention on him every second,” Robyn rolled her eyes and somehow looked just like Lily.  
  
  
“Robyn,” Tara scolded but not as harshly as she’d scolded JJ.  
  
  
Robyn shrugged one shoulder.  
  
  
“He is. He’ll get over it. What are you supposed to do, stop being pregnant for a couple of weeks until he’s ready to pass the baton?! You must have a bump. Hey, show me!”  
  
  
Emily shyly showed Robyn her stomach. Robyn seemed keen despite the many preventative measures she put in place to make sure she never found herself in such a situation.  
  
  
“Cool! I’m gonna be an auntie! There’s a little koala cub in there. What’s it like, Emmy?”   
  
  
Tara watched Emily shyly but noticeably light up as she talked about her pregnancy and she realized how much that everything had been framed negatively when Emily clearly found positives in it. Enough to want it to continue. She hadn’t seen her daughter look so happy in months — longer even than when the pregnancy had become a thing.  
  
  
She seemed to relish that she finally had something that was just hers.  
  
  
She was Willow’s daughter, after all.  
  
  
Lily walked in then, looking bored.  
  
  
“Kayden took JJ out for a drive. So much testosterone stinking up the house.”  
  
  
“Robbie, will you say Happy Birthday to your Momma?” Tara requested as the sisters all waved goodbye to each other.   
  
  
She just about managed to stand and brought the phone with her.  
  
  
“I can’t wait until these things can walk themselves. Or better yet, me.”  
  
  
“You’re hilarious, Mom,” Robyn said, deadpan.  
  
  
Downstairs, Cleo was pouring herself a drink and so Tara nabbed the space by Willow on the couch. She gave her wife a smooch.  
  
  
“Two old ladies sitting in a tree,” Robyn called out, “B-O-R-I-N-G-ME.”  
  
  
Willow did not apologize and just looked a little smug.  
  
  
“Robbie, how are you? Are you safe out there?”  
  
  
“Pretty uneventful down here. You chain yourself to one tree, you chain yourself to them all,” Robyn replied but sounded chipper, “Sounds like there’s way more going on up there and I’m in the middle of the literal rainforest.”  
  
  
Willow slowly deflated.  
  
  
“It’s been…a lot. At least you’ll be home soon. Is there any way you can come home in time for your brother’s wedding?”  
  
  
Robyn grimaced.  
  
  
“Yeah, about that…”  
  
  
Willow arched an eyebrow sharply.  
  
  
“Robyn…”  
  
  
“I got an offer to work with indigenous kids and help with leading the cause to further their education,” Robyn explained in an excited rush.  
  
  
Willow slapped a hand down.  
  
  
“You need to help with your own education!”  
  
  
Her eyes filled and she looked away. Robyn’s face scrunched.  
  
  
“Oh jeez, Momma, don’t cry. It’s not forever! A few extra months tops!”  
  
  
Tara wrapped an arm around Willow’s shoulders and looked at the image of her daughter.  
  
  
“We miss you.”  
  
  
“I miss you guys too,” Robyn replied sincerely, “Hey, is Emmy okay? Because I would not have handled this well if it were me and she’s…”  
  
  
“Stronger than any of us give her credit for,” Tara finished softly.  
  
  
Robyn smiled.  
  
  
Then Willow did too.  
  
  
“Moms, I gotta go,” Robyn said, blowing a kiss, “Happy Birthday, Momma. Isn’t it comforting that it’s chaotic as usual even without me there?”  
  
  
Willow chuckled wryly.  
  
  
“We love you.”  
  
  
“I love you too,” Robyn called in a sing-song voice, “I’ll send you ethically-grown coffee beans!”  
  
  
The image disappeared and Willow and Tara looked at each other and moved in for a hug. Tara spotted Cleo hovering and she opened her arms up.  
  
  
“Come here soon-to-be-daughter-in-law,” she encouraged, “You’re not immune to the mom sandwich.”  
  
  
Cleo gratefully positioned herself between them. It reminded her of being a little girl and being wrapped around her Mom’s waist while her Mami spooned them both.  
  
  
Tara kissed Cleo’s head.  
  
  
“Thanks for supporting Emily.”  
  
  
“Little sister I never had,” Cleo responded fondly and sighed deeply, “I’m glad it happened to her. There’s no way Lily or Robyn would have handled it as well.”  
  
  
And that made Willow’s head reel back and gave her a lot to think about.  
  
  
Eventually, the car arrived back in the driveway and the two boys came back inside. Lily and Emily came downstairs and JJ pulled Emily into a hug.  
  
  
“I’m sorry. I love you. I will be here for you no matter what.”  
  
  
Emily’s eyes pricked with tears.   
  
  
JJ moved over to Willow and pulled her into a hug.  
  
  
“I’m sorry I got mad on your birthday, maw,” he said tearfully, “I just never expected…”  
  
  
“None of us did,” Willow replied softly.  
  
  
“But Emily has made her choice,” Tara added in, “And we’re going to band together as a family to support her.”  
  
  
“T-Thank you,” Emily smiled at Tara and looked to JJ, “I-I’m sorry I told Cleo and not you.”  
  
  
JJ waved a hand.  
  
  
“Forget it, kid. She’s a great ear,” he said sincerely and looked over to his fiancee with that charming look that had attracted her to him in the first place, “And a great—”  
  
  
“Parents,” Cleo whispered with wide eyes.  
  
  
JJ seemed to remember where he was and paled.  
  
  
“—woman. To tell womanly things to.”  
  
  
“We haven’t spoken to Xander in a while,” Willow said, suddenly remembering him for some reason.  
  
  
“Speaking of…Em, Robbie is right,” Tara said, “You’re getting a belly. We have to tell everybody else. Including your grandparents.”  
  
  
Emily felt wobbly and had to sit.  
  
  
“I-I can’t.”  
  
  
“Then we will,” Tara said, to an unsure look from Willow, “If that’s how we can help you, that’s how we will help you.”  
  
  
Lily bounced up on her toes.  
  
  
“In a couple of weeks Ella will be home from Cornell and Pixie will be back from boarding school. I can tell them.”  
  
  
“I’ll be chatting with Alex when he’s out of training at Quantico. I’ll let him know,” JJ nodded.  
  
  
“Liam’s parents should tell him. He’s still a kid,” Kayden pointed out.  
  
  
Willow held up her hands.  
  
  
“We’ll tell Buffy and Angel. We’ll tell all of your aunts and uncles,” she resolved, “Should we tell them at your graduation party?”  
  
  
Cleo arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“Is it really ‘party’ news?”  
  
  
“Tell people ahead of time. Let them digest it,” Tara suggested.  
  
  
“I’m with Mom,” JJ agreed.  
  
  
“Me too,” Lily nodded.  
  
  
Tara looked over to Emily.  
  
  
“Emmy?”  
  
  
Emily had to clear her throat.  
  
  
“Yes,” she said quickly, “Thank you.”  
  
  
JJ encouraged everybody up and they banded together in a giant hug.  
  
  
“Rosenberg-Maclay, huh!” he cheered, then smiled, “Sorry, I’m around too many sports teams.”  
  
  
The resulting laugh broke the tension and they stayed huddled for a few moments before breaking off to discuss dinner menu options.  
  
  
After dinner, Tara brought Willow out a glass of wine on the porch.  
  
  
“What a day,” Willow commented as she took a sip, “This is divine. Thank you.”  
  
  
Tara produced something from behind her back.  
  
  
“At our age, it’s hard to come up with something new as a gift.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyebrow arched.  
  
  
“You mean there’s more than this morning?”  
  
  
She grinned and took the tissue-wrapped rectangle. She turned it over and unwrapped it. It was a canvas painting of a lake and flowers. It took her a moment to see the swan boats and recognize where it was set.  
  
  
“This is the gardens in Boston,” she said, touching her heart, “Where we first kissed. Where we got married. It’s beautiful.”  
  
  
Tara ran her fingers over Willow’s wrist.  
  
  
“Cleo asked me a few weeks ago what it was like getting married outside. Asked if we worried about the rain and things like that.”  
  
  
Willow looked at Tara with a wry grin.  
  
  
“You so knew they were engaged.”  
  
  
“Not officially,” Tara held her hands up.  
  
  
“There’s that word again…” Willow arched an eyebrow, “How about we start filling each other in on the ‘unofficiallys’?”  
  
  
Tara nodded softly.  
  
  
“Yes. Okay. But it did make me look back on some memories. I hadn’t held a paintbrush since the kids were, well, kids.”  
  
  
It suddenly dawned on Willow why Tara had said what she’d said about new gifts.  
  
  
“You did this?” she asked, looking at every detail in a new way, “I love it. I love you.”  
  
  
She popped a kiss onto Tara’s lips.  
  
  
“And I love our life,” Tara answered resolutely, “Everything it entails.”  
  
  
Willow nodded quietly once. They shared a looked and then Willow slid her hand up Tara’s thigh.  
  
  
“How about we go upstairs and I try on those knee pads for size?”  
  
  
Tara smirked.  
  
  
“Well, I can’t very well deny you on your birthday.”  
  
  
“Oh really?” Willow asked and leaned in alluringly, “In that case…”  
  
  
She spent several long, long seconds whispering in Tara’s ear. When she pulled away, Tara offered her hand.  
  
  
“Gladly. But we'll have to be quiet.”  
  
  
Willow grinned.  
  
  
“Why start now?”


	13. Chapter 13

“Do you need some help?”  
  
  
Willow walked further into the kitchen, where Tara was at the counter shaping mini spinach knishes onto a baking sheet.  
  
  
“Dad’s favorites,” she continued, swinging her arms by her side to force her body into expressing more joy than she felt, “Did you make the—”  
  
  
Tara pointed a finger to the other side of the island, where there was a tray of capped mushrooms with a seasoned mix of breadcrumbs and cheese.  
  
  
“…Michelle’s favorite too,” Willow finished lamely, “What about the sun-dried tomato dip Rose loves?”  
  
  
Tara washed her hands under the faucet, shook them off, and opened the fridge, where she took out a bowl of rosy-gold, creamy dip.  
  
  
Willow shuffled from one foot to the other uncomfortably. She’d intended to help Tara a lot more with the prep for having all of the grandparents over but the morning had kind of gotten away from her trying to prepare for how the afternoon would go.  
  
  
“Do you think they’ll know we’re trying to sweeten them up with your delicious cooking?”  
  
  
The doorbell rang and Willow pushed herself away from the island.  
  
  
“Let’s hope that’s a resounding ‘no’!”  
  
  
She turned and headed toward the door, opening it to Rose.  
  
  
“Hello, Willow,” she greeted, kissing Willow’s cheek as she used her cane to step over the threshold, “I was sorry to miss your birthday. Just because I’m slower these days doesn’t mean my schedule is.”  
  
  
“It’s okay,” Willow smiled back, “Dad and Michelle weren’t around either. I can’t remember which island they were cruising to this time, but I hear it was appropriately tropical. Can I get you a drink?”  
  
  
“No thank you,” Rose replied as she was led into the living room, “You didn’t have a party? It was a big one. What about your friends?”  
  
  
“You know, it’s funny as you get older,” Willow said with a smile, “You prefer one-on-one time.”  
  
  
Rose reached out and patted Willow’s hand.  
  
  
Tara came in with a small tray of chips and dip.  
  
  
“Oh, what a treat,” Rose smiled, “Perhaps I will take that drink after all.”  
  
  
“Seltzer and lemon?” Willow guessed and Rose nodded.  
  
  
Rose reached out to hug Tara, who sat next to her to aid the embrace.  
  
  
“How are you my darling girl?” she asked tenderly, “Something’s not right, I know it. Is everything okay?”  
  
  
“Yes,” Tara nodded, “Everyone is okay. But it’s been an eventful couple of months. I’m glad you’re here.”  
  
  
She squeezed Rose’s hand.  
  
  
“I’m glad I’m here too,” Rose smiled and reached for a chip, “You know I love this. Where are the girls? I was so sorry to miss the boys, especially the announcement. That boy has really made a nice life for himself. Which is no surprise with the parents that raised him.”  
  
  
Tara leaned in and accepted some parental comfort. It didn’t matter what age you were, sometimes it was all you needed.  
  
  
“Lily is with Emmett. You know, he’s a nice young boy. Nothing like what I hear of his father,” she paused and sighed, “Emily was doing some homework last I checked. She’s had to…catch up on some work.”  
  
  
Willow came back with seltzer water for Rose and a beer for herself, which she almost downed in one go. Rose arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“You okay there, honey?”  
  
  
Tara looked up and glanced at Willow with a calming look.  
  
  
“Just peachy,” Willow replied, wiping her mouth, “What doesn’t say peachy about noon beers?”  
  
  
Tara stood and went to stand with Willow in support.  
  
  
Tara put out the rest of the food and when Ira and Michelle arrived, got them both juices. Willow hid her empty beer bottle and hugged her father. Though his hair was thin, his beard was full and it tickled her when they embraced. Michelle’s gray hair was cut short and she was newly tanned from their vacation.  
  
  
After greeting them, Rose moved to the armchair so Ira and Michelle could sit on the couch, and Willow and Tara stood in front of the fireplace, holding each other’s hand for support.  
  
  
Ira looked around the room with a grin.  
  
  
“Well?” he prompted, his mustache twitching mischievously, “When do we start the planning?”  
  
  
Willow blinked twice.  
  
  
“I’m sorry?”  
  
  
“For Jacob’s wedding?” Ira said, rubbing his hands together and grinning over at Michelle, who leaned into him with the same pleased look, “That’s why we’re here, yes? So little time!”  
  
  
“I have a wonderful florist on call,” Michelle nodded eagerly.  
  
  
“Oh yes, the woman Michelle takes flower arranging lessons from,” Ira confirmed, gesturing to the bouquet they’d brought with them and Tara had transferred into a vase.  
  
  
“She said she can supply for the city,” Michelle looked at Willow and Tara hopefully.  
  
  
“Right,” Willow swallowed and squeezed Tara’s hand a little tighter, “They’re beautiful. But um…”  
  
  
She looked to Tara helplessly.  
  
  
“That isn’t why we’ve asked you all here,” Tara picked up the slack, “We have something else to tell you. And it’s going to be a shock.”  
  
  
Ira and Michelle suddenly frowned, but Rose didn’t.  
  
  
“Well?” Ira asked with some concern in his voice, “What is it? What’s wrong?”  
  
  
Tara gulped and exhaled a slow breath.  
  
  
“Emily is pregnant.”  
  
  
The room grew silent.  
  
  
“Is this some kind of joke?” Ira asked eventually, coming close to a chuckle.  
  
  
Willow shook her head.  
  
  
“No. This is serious.”  
  
  
“Do you mean Lily?” Michelle asked gently.  
  
  
“No, we mean Emily,” Willow snapped, then pressed her feet into the ground to rein herself in, “It’s been a lot for me to take in too.”  
  
  
“For us both,” Tara continued but tried to keep her voice resolute, “But she’s decided to keep the baby and we support her choice.”  
  
  
Ira stood up but it looked like he didn’t know which way to go. He eventually threw his hands up.  
  
  
“Well, this is absurd.”  
  
  
“Ira…” Michelle tugged on his arm gently.  
  
  
“You expect me to be happy about this?” Ira blew up, “She’s a child. She can’t have a child!”  
  
  
“Dad,” Willow took a step forward, “I know this is hard. Believe me, I know.”  
  
  
“I-I’m sorry Zayde.”  
  
  
Everyone turned as Emily’s quiet voice came from the doorway. Quiet, but not scared.  
  
  
“Emmy,” Tara said, walking over to close the door, “Go back upstairs.”  
  
  
“No,” Ira stood taller and crossed his arms over his chest, “She thinks she’s grown enough to be a parent, she can speak to me herself.”  
  
  
“Emily, go upstairs,” Willow insisted but Emily walked further in.  
  
  
She looked right up at Ira.  
  
  
“I-I’m sorry I disappointed you,” she said, keeping his gaze, “But I’m not sorry that I’m having the baby.”  
  
  
Ira’s face was set in stone, which he turned toward Willow.  
  
  
“How could you let this happen?”  
  
  
“You’re not exactly the paradigm of perfect parenting yourself, Dad,” Willow shot back.  
  
  
“This is no time to bring that up,” Michelle said in a loud whisper.  
  
  
Rose watched Emily slip back out the door and used her cane to stand between everybody.  
  
  
“Everybody needs to calm for a moment.”  
  
  
“At least I didn’t leave my ten-year-old child with an alcoholic,” Ira spat at Rose, who looked down.  
  
  
“STOP!” Tara yelled, her face red now, “I know who's acting like a child right now and it certainly isn’t Emily. This is ridiculous.”  
  
  
Ira picked up his jacket from the arm of the couch.  
  
  
“Oh, it most certainly is that.”  
  
  
He stomped toward the door.  
  
  
“Ira,” Michelle said and followed behind him, “Ira!”  
  
  
The door slammed and Tara was furious.  
  
  
In an unusual turn of events, Willow managed to keep a calmer head and put a hand on Rose’s arm.  
  
  
“I’m so sorry, Rose. He shouldn’t have said that.”  
  
  
“It’s true,” Rose admitted with a remorseful line in her brow, “And I’ll die regretting it. You start to think about these things more when you get to my age, you see.”  
  
  
She looked far away and smiled fondly.  
  
  
“My only solace is knowing Lisa is waiting for me.”  
  
  
She placed her hand over her heart. Willow cracked a smile.  
  
  
“Hope you don’t have to fight off some ghost-wife.”  
  
  
Rose laughed and it cracked some of the tension. Tara didn’t smile, but the wall of fury did drop. Rose took a single step forward.  
  
  
“May I speak to Emily alone?”  
  
  
Both Willow and Tara just nodded silently. When Rose was gone, they fell into the couch together, exhausted.  
  
  
Willow slumped back.  
  
  
“Well, that went just swell. At least our friends haven't been total assholes about it. Even Anya only made one jab about lesbians and birth control.”  
  
  
Tara squeezed Willow's hand.  
  
  
“They'll come around.”  
  
  
Willow looked at Tara unsurely.  
  
  
“How do you know?”  
  
  
Tara turned her head to her wife.  
  
  
“Because they have to.”  
  
  
Rose went out to the stairs and stood at the base, looking up. After a second, a quiet voice came from the dining room.  
  
  
“I’m in here, Nana.”  
  
  
Rose walked in and smiled at Emily sitting cross-legged with Miss Kitty in her lap, stroking her.  
  
  
“Well thank god,” she said, coming in, “I think I would have gotten stranded in the middle of those stairs. I would have had to call a rescue mission.”  
  
  
Emily smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes.  
  
  
“Can I sit?” Rose asked, gesturing to the free seat opposite Emily, “My old knees aren’t what they used to be.”  
  
  
Emily nodded quickly.  
  
  
Rose sat down and scooted in until she was also close enough to pet Miss Kitty too.  
  
  
“Your mother named her, didn’t she?”  
  
  
Emily looked up, surprised.  
  
  
“Kinda. They told me a story of a fish they had in college named Miss Fishy Fantastico and I thought it was cool,” she paused and her brow creased quizzically, “How’d you know?”  
  
  
Rose scratched between Miss Kitty’s ears and she purred.  
  
  
“There was a stray when she was young. Feral, wouldn’t let any of us near it. Except for Tara. She had it eating out of the palm of her hand. She called it Miss Kitty Fantastico. We never had the heart to tell her it was a boy.”  
  
  
Emily continued to pet Miss Kitty with even strokes.  
  
  
“I-It’s a girl.”  
  
  
“Oh, I know she is,” Rose nodded as she caught the underside of Miss Kitty’s chin.  
  
  
Emily’s eyes glanced up, shining with emotion.  
  
  
“I meant the baby.”  
  
  
Rose met her gaze and smiled.  
  
  
“I know,” she whispered softly and reached out to clasp Emily’s hand, “I had a dream a few months back. I didn’t think much of it at first. It was of your grandma Lisa and I have plenty of dreams of her.”  
  
  
Emily looked confused but didn’t interrupt.  
  
  
“But this one was different,” Rose continued, “I always remember her how she was but she was older. My age. The age she would be. She was holding a baby. I thought it was Tara. She was fair like Tara was. She kept saying ‘Katie, Katie’ — but like I wasn’t understanding her. Eventually, she just smiled her little crooked smile and placed the baby in my arms and I felt an incredible peace come over me. I woke up in that second before I could even look down.”  
  
  
She blinked several times.  
  
  
“I had forgotten about it until your mothers just told me all of this,” she admitted and directed her smile at Emily again, “But when they did I felt that same sense of peace.”  
  
  
She squeezed Emily’s hand.  
  
  
“Your grandmother was pregnant quite young too. Not quite as young as you but not far off.”  
  
  
Emily frowned.  
  
  
“I thought she was older when she had Mom.”  
  
  
“She was,” Rose nodded softly.  
  
  
“Oh,” Emily replied and frowned deeper, “Oh.”  
  
  
Rose looked sad for a life long gone.  
  
  
“She would have been a great mother at any age,” she said eventually, looking directly into Emily’s eyes, “And I know you will too.”  
  
  
Emily’s eyes filled with tears. Emily swiped at them with her sleeve.  
  
  
“Her name isn’t Katie,” she shook her head, “It’s Kelly.”  
  
  
Rose smiled and whispered the name to herself.  
  
  
“That must have been what I was mishearing.”  
  
  
“Only Lily knows,” Emily said, then clarified, “Her name.”  
  
  
Rose held a hand over her heart.  
  
  
“I’m honored.”  
  
  
Emily leaned into a hug and Miss Kitty jumped off in distaste.  
  
  
“I love you, Nana.”  
  
  
Rose kissed Emily’s cheek.  
  
  
“Everything will be okay, honey.”  
  
  
Emily sniffled.  
  
  
“I hope so.”  
  
  
Rose pulled back to look at her reassuringly.  
  
  
“I know so.”  
  


* * *

  
Willow drove into the school parking lot and parked as close to the front as she could get.  
  
  
She hoped this was a quick in-and-out meeting. It was typical; for months she’d had nothing to do but twiddle her thumbs but when she’d finally agreed to do some consulting work for the FBI, the school had called them in for a discussion. Tara had to be in court so Willow had to take it but she would be watching the clock.  
  
  
These meetings were usually quick. Find out what Lily did, figure out how much it would cost to replace, and write a check. Willow didn’t know why they couldn’t just let her mail it in but she guessed they had to keep up appearances.  
  
  
She checked in with the secretary and sat her butt in one of the little plastic seats to wait.  
  
  
Her toe tapped for eight minutes until she was finally called in.  
  
  
“Mrs. Rosenberg-Maclay.”  
  
  
“Mr. Kelly,” Willow greeted with a handshake, “Though I’m in here so often I feel like I can call you Joe.”  
  
  
“Mr. Kelly is fine,” Mr. Kelly replied and sat back into his chair.  
  
  
“O-kay,” Willow replied, sitting opposite, “Well, whatever she damaged, we’ll pay for it.”  
  
  
Mr. Kelly’s brow creased.  
  
  
“I’m sorry?”  
  
  
“Whatever Lily damaged, we’ll pay for,” Willow clarified, “The school year is almost up, let’s just see it out, hey?”  
  
  
Mr. Kelly’s lips pursed.  
  
  
“I didn’t call you in to discuss Lily.”  
  
  
Willow paled.  
  
  
“Oh.”  
  
  
Mr. Kelly nodded.  
  
  
“It’s come to our attention that Emily is…” he paused, “Well, there’s no delicate way to say it. She’s gotten herself into an unfortunate situ—”  
  
  
“She’s pregnant,” Willow cut him off.  
  
  
Mr. Kelly looked like he flinched at the word.  
  
  
“Yes. We would have appreciated being brought into the loop.”  
  
  
Willow held a hand up.  
  
  
“As I said…the school year is nearly up. She won’t be attending here once she has the baby.”  
  
  
Mr. Kelly’s eyes closed for a moment.  
  
  
“Well, the issue is the end of the year that you mention. I’m afraid Emily has fallen behind in her grades and unfortunately won’t be eligible to walk with the rest of her graduating class at the end of the month.”  
  
  
Willow’s mouth dropped open.  
  
  
“She can’t graduate?!”  
  
  
“She will still graduate and receive her diploma,” Mr. Kelly clarified, “She just can’t walk with the class.”  
  
  
Willow’s upper lip twitched.  
  
  
“So you’re saying…that she can’t walk because of her grades.”  
  
  
“Correct,” Mr. Kelly nodded.  
  
  
Willow’s eyes narrowed.  
  
  
“So what’s the GPA required to walk?”  
  
  
Mr. Kelly’s mouth opened and closed.  
  
  
“Unattainable in the time frame, unfortunately.”  
  
  
Willow arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“And you’d have no problem with me seeing the GPAs of all of her class to confirm?”  
  
  
Mr. Kelly squirmed uncomfortably.  
  
  
“Well, those are confidential.”  
  
  
“Mmm,” Willow replied and then her watch beeped, “I have to go. I’ll be touch.”  
  
  
“Unnecessary—” Mr. Kelly started but Willow looked back over her shoulder and held a finger up.  
  
  
“I’ll be in touch.”  
  
  
She hurriedly jogged back to the parking lot but in her haste, she almost bumped into someone.  
  
  
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she held her hands up in apology and was surprised to see she recognized the face looking back down, “Dad.”  
  
  
“Willow,” Ira returned with an obvious dry mouth.  
  
  
“What are you doing here?” they asked at the same time and both smiled.  
  
  
“This is my usual walking circuit,” Ira explained, “I enjoy watching the football team practice sometimes.”  
  
  
“I had to go in for a meeting,” Willow offered her excuse, then swallowed, “They know Emily’s pregnant.”  
  
  
Ira inhaled and exhaled slowly.  
  
  
“Oh?”  
  
  
Willow nodded and crossed her arms over her chest.  
  
  
“And they’re saying she’s not allowed walk at her graduation.”  
  
  
Ira arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“Excuse me?”  
  
  
Willow sighed.  
  
  
“They said her grades slipped, which I know they did but she got them back up. But she still has an above-average GPA so that’s just bullshit. They don’t want anyone to see her.”  
  
  
Willow almost said ‘dicks’ but remembered who she was talking to at the last second.  
  
  
Something came over Ira’s face and he pushed his chest up.  
  
  
“My granddaughter will most certainly walk with the rest of her class.”  
  
  
“Well, my thoughts exactly!” Willow replied, throwing a hand up but then her watched beeped again and she looked at it with frustration, “But now I’m late for work and…”  
  
  
Ira held a hand up and stood tall.  
  
  
“Let me deal with it.”  
  
  
Willow frowned.  
  
  
“Dad, um…”  
  
  
She trailed off unsurely and Ira met her gaze.  
  
  
“I cannot say where my head is at with this news,” he admitted, “But unfairness to my family I will not stand for. Emily is my granddaughter and I love her more than the world. Who’s the principal at this institution?”  
  
  
Willow slowly smiled.  
  
  
“Joe Kelly.”  
  
  
“Joe Kelly,” Ira nodded once, “We are about to have a word.”  
  


* * *

  
Ira and Willow walked through the front door, laughing together.  
  
  
“He was freaking out! Not the ROB, not the ROB!” Willow laughed and looked quizzically at her father, “What _is_ the ROB?”  
  
  
Ira’s mustache twitched.  
  
  
“Retirees of Buffalo.”  
  
  
Willow burst into fresh laughter.  
  
  
“I will have you know we are a very influential group in the community,” Ira said with faux-indignation.  
  
  
“Clearly!” Willow replied with a grin, “Joe Kelly won’t be denying anyone their graduation walk ever again.”  
  
  
She stopped and looked up.  
  
  
“Thank you, Dad.”  
  
  
At the top of the stairs, Emily appeared. Willow and Ira looked over to her at the same time. Ira took a step forward.  
  
  
“Emily,” Ira said humbly and offered his hand as she came off the stairs, “I must apologize to you that the first words to you upon hearing your news was not ‘I love you’.”  
  
  
Emily’s breath caught gently in her throat.  
  
  
Coming out of the kitchen, Tara eyed the scene and caught Willow’s hand.  
  
  
“How was work?” she worked quietly.  
  
  
“Fine. The same,” Willow shrugged one shoulder, “Something to do. At least I can pick and choose the cases I do now.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes cast over to Ira and then back to Willow in question.  
  
  
“He really helped us out today,” Willow said, glancing over and delighting in seeing Ira and Emily hug, “Helped Emily. I’ll explain it all later.”  
  
  
Tara nodded evenly.  
  
  
“I won’t let Emily be hurt.”  
  
  
“Me either,” Willow replied softly.  
  
  
Tara pressed her fingertips against Willow’s cheeks and pecked her.  
  
  
“Ira, would you like to stay for dinner?” Tara called over.  
  
  
Ira smiled softly and squeezed Emily’s shoulder.  
  
  
“Yes, I would. I’ll set the table.”  
  
  
“I’ll help, Zayde,” Emily offered and they went off together to do the task.  
  
  
Lily arrived home about ten minutes before Tara usually served up and unusually, had someone with her.  
  
  
“Emmett’s staying for dinner, okay?” she said, looking into the kitchen with Emmett beside her.  
  
  
Willow gasped.  
  
  
“She’s actually bringing him home.”  
  
  
“We get to meet him for more than five seconds,” Tara said in the same exaggerated tone.  
  
  
“This is why,” Lily held up a finger to her mothers and swung her head back at Emmett, “This is why. Let’s go get Taco Bell.”  
  
  
“Stop, stop,” Willow said, chuckling, “Come in. Your grandfather is here.”  
  
  
“Oh, geez,” Lily swore under her breath, “I guess you might as well get it all over with in one go.”  
  
  
Tara lifted her hand to wave from in front of her burner.  
  
  
“We’re very pleased to have you for dinner. I hope you like chicken and dumplings. I’m still used to cooking for seven so there’s always plenty.”  
  
  
Emmett nodded keenly.  
  
  
“Sounds delicious, ma’am.”  
  
  
Tara smiled.  
  
  
“No ma’am needed. You two, go wash up and take a seat.”  
  
  
Willow helped Tara bring all of the food into a dining room and Ira spent a good portion of the dinner grilling Emmett in a way Willow or Tara would never have been forgiven for.  
  
  
After dinner, Lily told Emmett to go up to her room while she cleared his and her dishes.  
  
  
“Lily, Emmett is lovely,” Tara complimented when they were alone in the kitchen, “Why did it take you so long to introduce us properly?”  
  
  
Lily shrugged one shoulder.  
  
  
“He didn’t want his Dad to give him shit.”  
  
  
“For having a girlfriend?” Tara asked in confusion.  
  
  
“For having a girlfriend with two moms,” Lily threw her eyes up to heaven.  
  
  
Tara shook her head but didn’t comment.  
  
  
“What changed?”  
  
  
“I don’t know, to be honest,” Lily answered with another shrug.  
  
  
Tara came over and wrapped her arm around Lily’s shoulder for a sidelong hug.  
  
  
“Well I’m glad it did,” she said and exhaled softly while looking at her daughter, “Lily, are you having sex? I have to ask.”  
  
  
Lily looked at Tara for a long moment and suppressed her usual need for sass or joking.  
  
  
“No,” she shook her head.  
  
  
Tara nodded gratefully for an honest answer.  
  
  
“Promise you’ll be safe when you decide to?”  
  
  
Lily nodded quickly, cheeks turning unusually pink.  
  
  
“I’m not stupid, Mom. I promise. And I’m already on birth control.”  
  
  
Tara paused. That was going to be her next question.  
  
  
Why she hadn’t demanded it the moment they found out about Emily seemed crazy to her but she'd heard Lily was still a virgin and there was so much else going on. Regardless, it was a failure and she was ashamed Lily had had to do it alone.  
  
  
She wished Lily had told her she was doing that and wished it was an experience they could have shared. For once, Emily was shouting louder and Tara had lost sight of Lily.  
  
  
This parenting stuff never got easier.  
  
  
But she was proud that Lily was being responsible.  
  
  
“Good girl,” she said eventually and kissed Lily’s forehead, then let her go.  
  
  
“Keep your door open!” Willow yelled after Lily when she saw her sprinting up the stairs.  
  
  
“Willow, give her a break,” Tara clucked.  
  
  
Willow continued into the kitchen and closed her arms around Tara from behind.  
  
  
“That was delicious. Thank you.”  
  
  
“You’re welcome,” Tara replied softly, “Tell me about your day? Sounds like it was eventful.”  
  
  
“It was something,” Willow replied with a sigh, “Like life in general lately. But you know what?”  
  
  
“What?” Tara asked, rubbing her fingertips over Willow’s knuckles around her stomach.  
  
  
Willow squeezed Tara a little tighter.  
  
  
“Every day that ends up like this is a day well spent in my book.”


	14. Chapter 14

Willow walked into the FBI building and as ever, sighed a little as she did so.  
  
  
She walked to the elevator and waved her hand at the sensor in the elevator, letting it pick up the little chip in her wrist that identified her.  
  
  
She’d only ever agreed to wear one of these things because she had the device that wiped it at her whim.  
  
  
She may be a techie who found the idea of wearable tech fascinating, but she wasn’t stupid. After seeing the kind of people who’d run for president in her adult life, she trusted her family and nobody else.  
  
  
Though she may or may not have tried to convince Tara to get the kids chipped so she could track them better after they became wise to her phone and watch scams. Tara had just looked at her unamused, shook her head, and walked away.  
  
  
 _Maybe if I’d tracked Emily better I wouldn’t be on the verge of grandmotherdom._  
  
  
Though it probably wouldn’t have helped since they knew where Lily and Emily were going that night before they went. Willow had tried several times to tease more information on who she’d been with that night to try and track down whoever it was that had gotten her into this position but all Emily would say is ‘he was nice to me’ and ‘this isn’t his problem’.  
  
  
And all of this chatter going through her brain during the brief ride up to her old floor was exactly why Willow had come back to work, at least on an ad hoc basis. She’d forgotten the mind-numbing boredom of unemployment when she’d opted for early retirement. She thought she’d have enough to do with the TARA system updates and family life and finding new hobbies but those first two things kind of summed up her hobbies.   
  
  
The doors opened and she stepped out into the hustle and bustle.  
  
  
Coming out from his Head of Department office, Jesse smiled easily as Willow passed him by.  
  
  
“Sure we can’t convince you to come back full time? No one can get our intel as fast as you.”  
  
  
“TARA can,” Willow winked.  
  
  
“Not the same!” Jesse shook his head.  
  
  
“I’m only here because I’m bored,” Willow admitted freely, “And I’m not allowed to flicker the lights in my wife’s office anymore.”  
  
  
Jesse held up his hands.  
  
  
“What you two get up to at home or in her office is your business.”  
  
  
Willow looked at him wryly and went to move on but Jesse stopped her.  
  
  
“Hey,” he asked, lowering his voice, “How’s Em?”  
  
  
Willow faltered. They hadn’t seen any of their friends since spreading the news of Emily’s pregnancy.  
  
  
“She’s doing okay.”  
  
  
Jesse shook his head.  
  
  
“I don’t know what I would have done if Ella came home in high school…hell, even now…”  
  
  
“None of us do,” Willow answered quickly, “You’re coming to the graduation party, right?”  
  
  
Jesse smiled again.  
  
  
“Looking forward to it,” he said with a resolute nod, “And my baby girl coming home.”  
  
  
Willow sighed.  
  
  
“When did we get old?”  
  
  
“Sneaked up on us,” Jesse shrugged, “Happens to the best of us.”  
  
  
“Sneaky bandit,” Willow replied and took another step forward, “Send me in some interesting cases today?”  
  
  
“Had your fill of cocky venture capitalists?” Jesse called after her as he spun on his heels, “I’ll see what I can do.”  
  
  
Willow walked right past her old robot room and to a consultant’s room down the hall. It only had two screens where her old office had ten but this kind of work didn’t necessitate the need to look at ten things at once. She mostly connected the dots of the work the rest of the crew had gathered but couldn’t quite piece together the way she could.  
  
  
There was definitely satisfaction in getting to be the one to put the final puzzle piece in place. Not for her soul, but for her mind.  
  
  
She put her coffee on the desk and signed in with her chip, after which she promptly wiped it.  
  
  
It took a while for a cart to be sent down with files for Willow to check into. Why they could chip their staff but still used actual, physical files was beyond Willow. But not her circus, not her monkeys. At least not anymore.   
  
  
She grabbed the first file and took a quick peek through. Credit card records for a COO of a multinational.  
  
  
“Super interesting, Jess,” she muttered and stretched her fingers to ready them for their journey she was sure would take her to many, many offshore accounts.  
  
  
With how often she virtually visited The Cayman Islands, she hoped she would visit them for real one day.  
  
  
She spent her afternoon working through the cases and wondering what Tara was making for dinner.  
  
  
The last case file was coded red, which Willow knew meant ‘raid imminent’. Tonight, in fact.   
  
  
Willow arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
Interesting, at least.  
  
  
She skimmed the file.  
  
  
Undeclared taxes.   
  
  
Not so interesting.   
  
  
She didn’t even need to find anything, just confirm the findings already there. Her eyes scanned something and she frowned.  
  
  
Restaurant Direct Group.  
  
  
Why did she know that name?  
  
  
It took a second, then her eyes widened and her head shot up.  
  
  
“Oh shit!”  
  
  
She grabbed her red pen from her collection of different colored pens and scribbled ‘conflict of interest’ in front of the file. She turned off the computers, put the files back in the cart, and wheeled it out herself, which was a task a runner or mail attendant usually did.  
  
  
“Here’s your files back, Jess,” she said in a rushed tone, “I’ll, uh, see you at the party.”  
  
  
Jesse stood politely.  
  
  
“You won’t be in before then?”  
  
  
“I hope not,” Willow replied with a single nod.  
  
  
Jesse chuckled.  
  
  
“I won’t take that personally. See you later, Will.”  
  
  
“Bye,” Willow replied and walked down the hallway with her phone in her hand.  
  
  
She rang Tara. It picked up on the third ring.  
  
  
“Hey, you.”  
  
  
Willow melted on the spot.  
  
  
“Hey, you,” she said softly, then quickly remembered why she’d called, “Are Lily and Emmett there?”  
  
  
“Yes,” Tara answered, “They’re listening to music.”  
  
  
“Make sure Emmett stays for dinner,” Willow said insistently as she stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the lobby, “And make sure their door is open!”  
  
  
There was a lag on the other end, then Tara spoke, sounding concerned.  
  
  
“Willow?”  
  
  
“Just trust me,” Willow said with soft reassurance, “I’ll be home soon. I love you.”  
  
  
“I love you, too,” Tara answered softly and hung up the call.  
  
  
Then alone in the elevator, Willow started to dance.  
  
  
“Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-do. Woo and woo and hoo and hoo!”  
  


* * *

  
Willow let herself into the house and was pleased to see Lily and Emmett were in the living room playing a very old copy of Hungry, Hungry Hippos with Emily, and seemingly having a gay old time.  
  
  
She left her bag by the door and went into the kitchen, where Tara was slicing a tomato.  
  
  
“Ooh, Caprese salad? I’ve been dreaming all day of what delights would end up in my belly tonight and that tops the list. Are you using the nice balsamic with the truffle infused in it?”  
  
  
Tara put her knife down and looked at Willow sternly.  
  
  
“Willow, what the hell is going on?”  
  
  
Willow closed the kitchen door behind her before taking a step forward. She opened her mouth and held out her hands.  
  
  
“I… can’t tell you.”  
  
  
Tara didn’t sigh but she didn’t have to; her eyes said it all.  
  
  
“Willow, do we have to play this game? Just tell me.”  
  
  
Willow threw her hands up helplessly.  
  
  
“I can’t. I could be arrested!”   
  
  
Tara’s eyes clouded.  
  
  
“What have you done? Were you messing with government buildings again?”  
  
  
“No!” Willow replied with an indignant scoff, “Look.”  
  
  
She took another step, then jumped once on the spot in frustration.  
  
  
“I can’t tell you!”  
  
  
Tara gripped the island with an annoyed look.  
  
  
“You will find out though,” Willow tried to be helpful.  
  
  
Tara frowned.  
  
  
“That sounds like a threat.”  
  
  
“It’s not a threat, baby,” Willow came over to stand opposite her wife, on the other side of the island, “It’s a sometimes-we-can’t-tell-each-other-things-because-we-have-government-jobs situation.”  
  
  
“Those things don’t usually involve our daughter,” Tara arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“Lily is fine,” Willow reassured, “Okay? I promise. We may just have an eventful night ahead of us.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes widened and Willow clamped her lips.  
  
  
“I said too much. Can we please just have dinner?   
  
  
Tara picked up the knife again.  
  
  
“I don’t appreciate this.”  
  
  
Willow smiled awkwardly.  
  
  
“Any chance you could say that while you’re not wielding a pointy object?”  
  
  
“Just go set the table,” Tara replied curtly.  
  
  
Willow started to mumble something about it being the kids' job but one look from Tara promptly shut her up.  
  
  
Tara served up pasta bake with the Caprese salad and called everyone to eat.  
  
  
“Thanks for inviting me for dinner,” Emmett said as he took his seat, “We don’t do this at home.”  
  
  
“Y-You don’t do dinner?” Emily asked with a frown.  
  
  
“Not like this,” Emmett clarified, “They let me do my own thing.”  
  
  
Willow smiled sympathetically.  
  
  
“Been there, buddy.”  
  
  
Tara poured Emmett some lemonade and he smiled. Something that had been ingrained in him was to have a winning smile but he didn’t really have to force it around Lily, or now her family.  
  
  
“You guys are really cool.”  
  
  
“Ew, Emmett,” Lily slapped him with the back of her hand, “Those are my _parents_. You can’t think they’re _cool_.”  
  
  
“He can think whatever he likes,” Willow grinned with her chin held high.  
  
  
“Thank you, Emmett,” Tara added in, handing over a basket, “Would you like some garlic bread?”  
  
  
He smiled again and took a piece.  
  
  
After dinner, Lily was quick to push out her chair.  
  
  
“Can we go upstairs?”  
  
  
“Sure, sweetie,” Tara replied as she dropped her napkin onto her plate, “Just bring your dishes inside.”  
  
  
“Keep your door open,” Willow called after her.  
  
  
Lily rolled her eyes in Emily’s direction.  
  
  
“You ruined it for everyone.”  
  
  
“Lily,” Tara scolded.  
  
  
“She knows I’m kidding,” Lily said, brushing her fingers against Emily’s shoulder, “C’mon Emmett.”  
  
  
“Thanks for dinner, it was great,” Emmett smiled and followed Lily out to the kitchen with his dishes.  
  
  
Lily brought him upstairs and shut her bedroom door behind her. Emmett arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“Uh, didn’t they say…”  
  
  
Lily smirked and placed her palm on Emmett’s chest.  
  
  
“I’ll say the wind did it.”  
  
  
She lifted herself onto her toes to kiss him and he smiled and took a seat on her bed.  
  
  
“Can we listen to some tunes?”  
  
  
“Sure,” Lily smiled, “TARA play some mood music.”  
  
  
Music started to play and Emmett leaned back on his elbows.  
  
  
“Is it weird using your Mom’s name like that?”   
  
  
“No, her name isn’t ‘Tara’, it’s ‘Mom’. The voice scares me sometimes though,” Lily shrugged and fell down onto the bed beside Emmett, “I don’t know why we can’t hang at your house anymore. No one ever bothers us.”  
  
  
“This place is so chill,” Emmett replied easily.  
  
  
“You should have seen it when my brothers and big sister lived here,” Lily sighed, then smiled softly tapped the corner of Emmett’s mouth, “You’ve been doing that a lot more lately.”  
  
  
“Thanks to you,” Emmett said and reached up to caress Lily’s wrist, “I’ve never had a friend like you before. Someone I could really talk to.”  
  
  
It was true, they had talked _a lot_. And made out in-between but Emmett never pushed for more. It wasn’t like wannabe-prince Harry who seemed to get off on the idea of being noble; Emmett seemed to enjoy being close to Lily but she didn’t have to push him off her. He actually liked to talk to her, to get to know her. Lily loved that. But she also wanted to see more of the shirtless Emmett she’d first admired on the lacrosse field.  
  
  
“A friend, huh?” she asked, dancing her fingers up her torso, “Wanna get friendly?”  
  
  
She kissed him and he let his hand come to rest gently on her cheek.  
  
  
“Lily—”  
  
  
Lily moved her hand down to rub Emmett’s hip.  
  
  
“If my sister being knocked up freaks you out—”  
  
  
“No, no,” Emmett smiled that easy smile again, “I think Emily is really cool. And really brave. And strong. Stronger than me.”  
  
  
He seemed surprised that he said that last part. Lily was too or confused at least.  
  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
  
Emmett sat up, bringing Lily with him. He took both of her hands.  
  
  
“Lily, I have to tell you something.”   
  
  
Lily arched a soft, expectant eyebrow. Emmett looked deep into her eyes and there was one thing for sure; they were full of love.  
  
  
“I think I’m—”   
  
  
Suddenly there was a loud disruption in the form of the latest pop song buzzing from Emmett’s pocket.  
  
  
He scrambled for it.  
  
  
“Shit. It’s the house. I better take it.”  
  
  
You did not ignore a phone call from Jonathan McFarland. Emmett answered quickly, politely, robotically.  
  
  
Moments later, he jumped off the bed.  
  
  
“What?!”  
  
  
Downstairs, Willow was the first to hear the desperate footsteps heading toward them because she was the only one listening out.  
  
  
“Okay, now I can tell you!” she turned to Tara urgently, “Emmett’s dad was raided for tax evasion!”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes bugged out of her head.  
  
  
“What!?”  
  
  
They heard the front door opening and both of them ran out there. Emily came from the dining room where she’d been doing homework, confused.  
  
  
Willow ran after Emmett who was trying to jump into his truck.  
  
  
“Stop, stop, stop, stop!”  
  
  
“I have to get home!” Emmett said desperately, “My dad, he was arrested!”  
  
  
“Okay,” Willow replied evenly, hoping he’d take some calmness from her, “I’ll take you.”  
  
  
“I’m coming,” Lily started to step out in her socks, but Tara pulled her back.  
  
  
“Lily, no.”  
  
  
Lily spun around, irate.  
  
  
“I have to go.”  
  
  
“It’s a crime scene,” Tara said softly, “You wouldn’t even be allowed.”  
  
  
Lily spun back around with tears in her eyes and watched Emmett worriedly get into the passenger seat so Willow could get into the driver’s seat. She could have put it on self-drive but she didn’t want to leave the kid alone.  
  
  
“Where’s your mother, Emmett?” Willow asked gently.  
  
  
Emmett looked up and gulped.  
  
  
“With my dad, I think,” he said, his frown deepening, “The housekeeper called me.”  
  
  
Willow frowned too. She got Emmett to call out his address for the navigation system and tried not to smile when she heard her wife’s voice come back to confirm. How she ever convinced Tara to do that, she’d never know. The world would be a lucky place if she ever dropped the exclusivity section of her license to the FBI and allowed Tara to be the voice everyone interacted with through their daily lives.  
  
  
It would also be a hell of a lot of work though.  
  
  
And Willow had a different project to keep her busy in the immediate future.  
  
  
Hopefully.  
  
  
She glanced at Emmett.  
  
  
Best not to think about that right now.  
  
  
She turned onto the street that led to the McFarland estate but she didn’t get far as it was swarmed with various departments of cop cars. Emmett jumped out of the car before Willow had even slowed down fully.  
  
  
Willow parked between a couple of sets of cop cars and followed Emmett who was shaking the gates up to the driveway.  
  
  
“I gotta get in, that’s my Dad!”  
  
  
“There is no entrance,” the agent beside him said, not without sympathy.  
  
  
Willow recognized the voice before she could make out the figure with all of the flashing bright lights.  
  
  
“Jesse.”  
  
  
Jesse looked up in surprise.  
  
  
“Willow,” he said, doing a double-take but maintaining professional decorum, “…what are you doing here?”  
  
  
Willow held a hand toward Emmett, who was now clutching his head in his hands.  
  
  
“Emmett is Lily’s boyfriend.”  
  
  
Jesse arched a solitary eyebrow.  
  
  
“Hence the conflict of interest.”  
  
  
“I didn’t say anything,” Willow said in a low, important voice, “To anyone.”  
  
  
“I know,” Jesse nodded evenly; he trusted Willow enough for that, “But you should get out of here. Can the kid stay with you? His parents certainly aren’t coming home tonight.”  
  
  
“Yeah, sure,” Willow quickly nodded.  
  
  
“Did they ask about me?”  
  
  
Both Willow and Jesse turned to Emmett when they heard him speak.  
  
  
“Did they ask anyone to make sure I was okay?” Emmett asked again, his voice turned hollow.  
  
  
Jesse’s brow creased.  
  
  
“Uh…”  
  
  
Emmett’s face suddenly hardened and it made Willow’s stomach drop because she remembered the look on his face from any time she looked in the mirror as a teenager.  
  
  
“Come on, Emmett,” Willow put an arm around his shoulders and he didn’t object.  
  
  
The ride home was silent but Willow knew Emmett needed the space to process.  
  
  
“You can sleep in one of the boys’ rooms,” Willow said as she brought him back inside, “They’re all made up, you can pick which one.”  
  
  
“Emmett!” Lily threw herself around him but he didn’t stumble; he stayed solid, “What the hell is going on?!”  
  
  
“Everybody come into the living room,” Willow said calmly, “I’ll help Mom make some cocoa.”  
  
  
Willow ushered the kids into the living room and then Tara into the kitchen.  
  
  
Tara leaned over the island with a heavy sigh.  
  
  
“Lily has been going bananas. What’s going on?”  
  
  
She went to the refrigerator and got out the milk, which she poured into a saucepan.  
  
  
Willow gnawed on the corner of her lip.  
  
  
“The feds raided their house. It looked like every agency on the books was there. If I were to categorize this using official FBI language I would say they are in double-dog-doo-doo.”  
  
  
“Oh my god,” Tara said as she found the cocoa powder in the cabinet, “That poor kid. And he has no other family?”  
  
  
Willow shrugged.  
  
  
“I have no idea. None around, I guess. I don’t know anything about the case, I had to tag it as a conflict of interest. You’re pretty much as up to speed as me. Well, except—”  
  
  
Suddenly Lily screeched and Tara looked over her shoulder.  
  
  
“Can you deal with that?”  
  
  
Willow nodded and hurried out to calm Lily down.  
  
  
“We have to do our breathing, panda,” Willow said easily, “Do it with me. In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight.”  
  
  
“In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight,” Emily encouraged.  
  
  
“In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight,” Emmett joined in and encasing her in a circle, the three of them got Lily’s breathing regulated.  
  
  
Once Lily had stopped shaking, she went over to the piano and started to play quietly; an activity that helped her slot everything into place in her mind.  
  
  
Tara didn’t question it when she brought the trays of hot chocolate in and Lily was playing a jaunty tune in the midst of all of this drama. She actually thought she saw Emmett crack a smile.  
  
  
When Lily was ready, she came to sit in Emmett’s lap, who held her close.  
  
  
Willow didn’t comment.  
  
  
She did explain what was happening and did her best to answer questions, though none of them came from Emmett.  
  
  
He just sat quietly and listened and drank his hot chocolate. He seemed to be mulling over a lot.  
  
  
When it was time for bed, Willow walked into their room and kept the door ajar.  
  
  
“We’re keeping our door open tonight too so I can keep watch.”  
  
  
Tara shot Willow the quickest of glances.  
  
  
“I know that look,” Willow said knowingly, “You want to tell me to loosen up but you also don’t want another pregnant daughter.”  
  
  
“She’s on birth control,” Tara rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“I want to be doubly sure,” Willow replied indignantly, “Wait…she is?”  
  
  
Willow looked wounded so Tara was quick to jump in.  
  
  
“She went by herself. I didn’t know until recently. But it’s something we should have done earlier. We were remiss not to realize just because unplanned pregnancy is never something we’ve had to contend with.”  
  
  
“They’re 16!” Willow protested.  
  
  
“And now look what’s happened,” Tara replied with a sigh, “Not that Emily could take the pill anyway, I suppose.”  
  
  
“Oh right,” Willow replied quietly, “Her heart thing.”  
  
  
She gnawed on her lip.  
  
  
“Guess there was no stopping this happening.”  
  
  
Feeling something close to acceptance for the first time, she changed into her pajamas, then flopped down onto the bed where Tara was already lying.  
  
  
“Why couldn’t they all be gay?” she held up one hand hopefully, “Even Robyn couldn’t commit fully.”  
  
  
“Willow,” Tara scolded.  
  
  
“I’m kidding,” Willow chuckled and arched an eyebrow at Tara, “You do have the gay genes though.”  
  
  
Tara looked over in confusion at her pile of folded laundry. Willow laughed.  
  
  
“Not jeans,” she said, looking at Tara adoringly, “ _Genes_. The double-helixy kind.”  
  
  
Tara’s brow folded.  
  
  
“What are you talking about?”  
  
  
Willow held up three fingers, one at a time.  
  
  
“Lisa-Tara-Robyn,” she counted off, “Three generations of gay. And I have suspicions about your grandmother from the photos I’ve seen.”  
  
  
“Willow,” Tara scolded again, “Short hair does not make her a lesbian.”  
  
  
Willow arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“I’ve heard Michelle talk about her ‘friend’ Cheryl who was always hanging around the house…”  
  
  
“My grandfather worked away at the oil rigs,” Tara explained, then rolled her eyes when Willow gave her a look, “Oh, stop it. Anyway, it’s all genetic. We’re born this way.”  
  
  
Willow blew out some air.  
  
  
“I’m just saying, Sheila Rosenberg wasn’t heading down to the local dyke bar on a Friday night, that’s for sure.”  
  
  
Tara smirked on one side.  
  
  
“Maybe the lady doth protest too much.”  
  
  
Willow’s face scrunched in distaste.  
  
  
“I pity the man _or_ woman who next ends up in her clutches.”  
  
  
They shared a smile and quietly laughed like it was old times and they weren’t facing all of the personal crises they were facing.  
  
  
Willow suddenly sat up seriously.  
  
  
“I have to say something and you’re going to think I’m a terrible person.”  
  
  
Tara turned and gave Willow her full attention.  
  
  
Willow swallowed deeply.  
  
  
“I was excited when I saw that the McFarlands were about to be raided.”  
  
  
Tara frowned slowly.  
  
  
“Willow, why? I know he’s an asshole but…”  
  
  
Willow gnawed on her lip again.  
  
  
“Because it was one of the highest tax evasions I’ve ever seen.”  
  
  
Tara looked expectant.  
  
  
“And…?”  
  
  
“And if he knows what’s good for him, and he does, he’ll sell off as many of his assets as fast as possible before they can be frozen,” Willow said in a rush.  
  
  
Tara looked slightly helpless.  
  
  
“Catch me up—” she started, then suddenly all at once, she knew what Willow was trying to tell her, “The waterfront property.”  
  
  
Willow looked pained at the stunned look on Tara’s face.  
  
  
“I know, I’m awful!” she proclaimed and threw her hand above her head dramatically, “I’m truly awful, I’m a fiend!”  
  
  
Tara blinked twice, heavily.  
  
  
“Well if it’s going to be sold anyway…”  
  
  
Willow shot up into a standing position.  
  
  
“Really?”  
  
  
Tara placed her hand on Willow’s leg.  
  
  
“Within reason. We couldn’t even afford to rent it before, never mind buy it. It would have to come down considerably.”  
  
  
Willow’s teeth tapped together as she thought.  
  
  
“Would it be tacky if I got in touch with the restaurant group and offered cash for a quick sale?”  
  
  
“If it didn’t involve our daughter’s boyfriend, no,” Tara said softly.  
  
  
Willow’s eyebrows slowly raised.  
  
  
“He doesn’t have to know.”  
  
  
“Tracy.”  
  
  
Willow and Tara both jumped at the sound of the male voice in the doorway.  
  
  
“Emmett,” Tara said, holding her hand to her heart.  
  
  
Emmett took a step forward, though not quite into the room.  
  
  
“Call Tracy. My Dad’s commercial realtor,” he said with a steely nod, “She hates my Dad as much as I do. She’ll sell it to you as low as she possibly can.”  
  
  
His face softened then and he stepped back.  
  
  
“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. I came to say thanks,” he raised his hand awkwardly, “You’ve made me feel more at home here than my actual home has my entire life.”  
  
  
Willow and Tara looked at each other, then stood together. They came over and embraced Emmett from either side.  
  
  
“Don’t think you get out of a mom sandwich just because we’re not your moms,” Willow said, squeezing him tight.  
  
  
“Things will be okay,” Tara said softly.  
  
  
Willow patted his back.  
  
  
“Go and get some sleep,” she encouraged, “And don’t you dare sneak downstairs.”  
  
  
“I won’t, ma’am,” Emmett replied diligently.  
  
  
Willow paused and closed the door.  
  
  
“He’s a really nice kid,” Tara sighed sadly as she got into bed, “Despite his upbringing, it seems.”  
  
  
Willow sighed deeply as she got under the covers.  
  
  
“Having some ‘Nam flashbacks myself.”  
  
  
Tara reached for her hand and squeezed.  
  
  
Willow squeezed back.  
  
  
“Did you ever look into seeing Dr. Carter?”  
  
  
“Emily is already,” Tara answered with a little nod, “You didn’t seem keen and there’s no point if you’re not willing.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes closed.  
  
  
“And now I’m the neglectful parent who doesn’t know what’s going on with her kid.”  
  
  
Tara rubbed her thumb over Willow’s knuckles.  
  
  
“I should have told you but you always shut me down when I brought it up. Honestly, Willow, I think some individual therapy might be good here.”  
  
  
“She’s already—” Willow started then stopped, “Oh. You mean me.”  
  
  
She nodded slowly.  
  
  
“I’ll think about it. I know it’s helped us in the past. I can’t really deny that this is happening any longer, I just have this…weird association with my mother. When it’s the two of us it’s fine but when it’s just me…I feel like that little kid again being talked down to in front of her. I know that’s such a horrible cliché and the exact reason I need therapy to work on that, but it just feels like a lot to take on on top of everything else.”  
  
  
Tara kissed Willow on the forehead.  
  
  
“When you’re ready.”  
  
  
“Thank you,” Willow whispered.  
  
  
“I love you,” Tara whispered back.  
  
  
“I love you too,” Willow answered as she tucked her head under Tara’s chin, “It’s all I’m hanging onto sometimes.”  
  
  
“I’ve been there,” Tara comforted.  
  
  
“It’s not like _that_ ,” Willow reassured quickly.  
  
  
“But it’s still hard,” Tara reasoned.  
  
  
Willow snuggled tighter.  
  
  
“Have I said that I love you?”  
  
  
“It’s always nice to hear,” Tara smiled and Willow felt it against her hair, “Even thirty years later.”  
  
  
Willow lifted her head onto the pillow and pecked Tara’s lips.  
  
  
“Hold me?”  
  
  
She turned and Tara closed her arms around her wife.  
  
  
“Forever.”


	15. Chapter 15

“Can I play the music while you’re walking up the aisle?”  
  
  
Lily looked so keen that it broke Cleo’s heart to have to reject her.  
  
  
“We’re getting married in a park, p-bear. They’ve put a man on Mars but there’s still no easy way to move a piano about a city park.”  
  
  
“I have a keyboard!” Lily replied eagerly.  
  
  
Cleo looked for JJ to help, but he was out picking up dinner for everyone after a long day bridesmaid dress shopping. Her maid of honor, her best friend since childhood, would wear anything that was given to her but the same could not be said for one Lily Lisa Rosenberg-Maclay.  
  
  
“Kayden could play guitar with Robyn on holo,” Emily tried to be helpful.  
  
  
On the couch, Willow squeezed Tara’s knee and ran her fingers up Tara’s thigh.  
  
  
“Mom’s not so bad at tickling the ivories herself.”  
  
  
“Gross,” Lily said, making a gagging motion.  
  
  
“I thought you were sex-positive,” Tara replied accusingly.  
  
  
Lily held up her hands.  
  
  
“I don’t want to hear about what you do or don’t tickle.”  
  
  
Happy for the reprieve, Cleo spied Miss Kitty playing with Emily on the floor. And it was very much that way around; the cat was weaving in and out between Emily’s legs with her tail twitching curling around Emily’s ankles.  
  
  
“She really trusts you,” Cleo smiled at seeing the interaction. God knows she saw enough poor little animals being mistreated, “See the way she’s nibbling on your finger like that? It’s affection. You’re like her comfort blanket.”  
  
  
On the couch, Tara leaned over to whisper in Willow’s ear.  
  
  
“She must really trust you too,” she said, her eyes creasing with mirth, “Or your knee at least.”  
  
  
Willow lifted her chin defiantly.  
  
  
“I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer,” she said, then popped the quickest of kisses on Tara’s neck, “But I wouldn’t say no to a nibble from you later.”  
  
  
“I can hear you,” Lily replied in a bored tone as she flicked through a bridal magazine, “We can all hear you.”  
  
  
Probably hearing but choosing to continue their own conversation, Emily was asking about the kind of animals Cleo saw in the practice.  
  
  
“Lots of lapdogs,” Cleo answered with a steady nod, “The yappy, bitey kind. My fingers have had more holes in them than Swiss cheese. A surprising amount of birds. And snakes. Snakes are kind of my specialty actually. My Mami says I get it from her.”  
  
  
Emily frowned.  
  
  
“Is she a snake wrangler?”  
  
  
Cleo shrugged one shoulder.  
  
  
“Kinda. She’s her own publicist.”  
  
  
Emily frowned more but opted not to press more.  
  
  
“I don’t really mind snakes,” she said, rubbing her palm over Miss Kitty’s belly, “JJ is terrified.”  
  
  
Cleo chuckled.  
  
  
“Yep. I learned that when I brought Monty Python home to foster and I woke up thinking I heard the little girl from downstairs screaming,” she rolled her eyes but they were full of warm affection, “So what are you going to do now?”  
  
  
Cleo brows furrowed together.  
  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
  
Cleo smiled easily.  
  
  
“Well, Lily’s going to Julliard. What about you?”  
  
  
Emily’s eyes widened and she looked down her ever-growing belly. She knew Cleo knew, apart from it being obvious because Cleo had been one of the first people she’d told of the pregnancy. Robyn had always been closer to Lily and so Cleo, with their shared love of animals, had been an early confidant of Emily’s.  
  
  
“Um…”  
  
  
Cleo waved a hand.  
  
  
“She won’t be a baby forever. I thought your moms said you were looking into the local community college?”  
  
  
Emily nodded slowly.  
  
  
“They have daycare.”  
  
  
Cleo winked.  
  
  
“And college courses too.”  
  
  
Emily blinked.  
  
  
“Right,” she answered and smiled as Miss Kitty nibbled her finger again, “I…I guess I’ll have to think about it.”  
  
  
Her whole life plan… _the_ plan…was to follow Lily. And when all of this had happened, all she knew was that she wanted _this_. But now she had to consider what she and her baby’s future might really be. She’d followed Lily because she was too scared not to but now she was scared at the thought of not being a role model for her child.  
  
  
The front door opened and JJ shouted out that he had food, so everybody gathered to eat in the dining room.  
  
  
“You ladies pick out your dresses yet?” JJ asked as he gnawed on a chicken leg, “Because I can’t decide if I want a matching cummerbund or not.”  
  
  
Everyone looked to Lily, who scooped some mashed potatoes onto her plate.  
  
  
“It’s not my fault if I have a discerning eye.”  
  
  
“Is that what they call it?” JJ arched an eyebrow, “Where is that guy of yours anyway? Too afraid to meet the big brother?”  
  
  
He puffed out his chest and Lily rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“Family trouble, _actually_. He moved in with his aunt.”  
  
  
“Oh,” JJ replied, lowering his chicken remorsefully, “Hey, that sucks. Sorry.”  
  
  
Lily slowly revealed a dazzling smile.  
  
  
“No, it’s great!” she said whilst curling her fingers under the chair so she would have the leverage to bounce excitedly, “His aunt lives in Hoboken! We’ll be just a ferry ride away from each other! And best of all his stupid father doesn’t have a stupid business to leave to him anymore so he is freeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”  
  
  
She did jazz hands to demonstrate suitably.  
  
  
“Uh, cool, I guess?” JJ scratched his head, “All sounds kinda ‘Dynasty’. So he’s a Carrington and you’re, what…Linda Evans?”  
  
  
“How do you even know that show?” Willow questioned with a furrowed brow.  
  
  
“Netflix,” JJ answered in a bright tone while Cleo said the same thing in a pained voice.  
  
  
“I’m a soon-to-be Julliard fellow, bitch,” Lily replied, rolling her head and Cleo laughed because she knew Lily had learned that from her Mami.  
  
  
“Okay,” Tara put a calming hand on the table, “I don't know about everybody else, but I would love some chicken.”  
  
  
Emily lifted her hand shyly.  
  
  
“I'll take a drumstick.”  
  
  
“I'm a breast girl myself,” Willow said cheerfully, then added quietly, to Tara, “But, then again, you knew that.”  
  
  
JJ made a gagging motion. Lily rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“At least you didn’t hear about the tickling.”  
  
  
JJ grabbed the nearest tub and looked at it forlornly.  
  
  
“There isn’t enough gravy to drown me.”  
  
  
“Oh, quit it,” Willow slapped the back of her hand against his torso, “Actually, you guys…speaking of the tumultuous downturn of McFarland Industries…”  
  
  
“Willow,” Tara said quietly.  
  
  
Willow bounced in her seat very like Lily had minutes before.  
  
  
“C’mon, let’s tell them.”  
  
  
Tara couldn’t help smile at the infectious energy.  
  
  
“It’s your baby.”  
  
  
JJ clutched his chest and his face went white.  
  
  
“YOU’RE PREGNANT TOO?!”  
  
  
He clutched Cleo’s shoulders, who was trying not to laugh.  
  
  
“No!” Willow looked at JJ like he was crazy, “I’m… _we’re_ …opening another store!”  
  
  
When there wasn’t much reaction, Tara piped up.  
  
  
“Here in Buffalo,” she clarified, “On the water. It’s a really nice place.”  
  
  
“What’s that got to do with Emmett’s dad?” Lily cut in, her lip twitching unsurely.  
  
  
“I bought one of his properties,” Willow clarified.  
  
  
Lily paused.  
  
  
“Did you rip him off?”  
  
  
“Um…” Willow paused unsurely, “Kinda?”  
  
  
Lily’s face spread out in a slow grin and she leaned over to hold her hand out.  
  
  
“High-five, Momma! I once heard him refer to you two as my ‘Mykes’. Like Mom-Dy—”  
  
  
“I can fill in the blanks,” Tara held a silencing hand up.  
  
  
Willow completed the high five, looking smug.  
  
  
“It was thanks to Emmett actually. He gave me the name of his realtor. And since _technically_ I’m not supposed to access the FBI databases, that was a huge help!”  
  
  
Tara gave Willow a look, who just shrugged.  
  
  
Lily slumped forward a little.  
  
  
“I miss him. I didn’t even go to prom with someone else, that’s how much I love him.”  
  
  
Tara reached over and rubbed Lily’s forearm comfortingly. Lily scooted around and allowed herself to accept a cuddle.  
  
  
After dinner, Tara suggested the girls try on their cap and gowns in preparation for graduation tomorrow. When they came down in their royal blue get-ups, there was an obvious discrepancy.  
  
  
Lily’s sat on her small frame, flattering her body shape, or at least as flattering as such a garment could be. But Emily’s pooled past her ankles and the arms flailed about aimlessly. It looked like it was made for the school quarterback.  
  
  
“Koala bear, did you get the wrong ones?” Tara asked with a frown.  
  
  
Emily lifted the copious material around her middle.  
  
  
“I don’t think so. Principal Kelly delivered them to me especially.”  
  
  
Tara and Willow exchanged a look.  
  
  
“That rat didn’t want to let her walk and now he’s trying to hide her in misappropriated curtains!” Willow exclaimed angrily.  
  
  
Emily’s eyes creased.  
  
  
“T-They didn’t want me to walk?” she asked with a quiver in her voice, “B-Because I’m pregnant?”  
  
  
“Bastard,” Lily scoffed, rolling up her sleeves, “I will fight him for you, Emily. I can take him, have you seen his puny little ankles?”  
  
  
“Lily,” Tara said in exasperation, then stood and put her arm around Emily, “Come here, ma pépette.”  
  
  
She led Emily out of the room while they both tried to avoid tripping over the gown.  
  
  
“That was a dick move,” JJ agreed as he spun a basketball on his finger, “Does he know what year it is? He was an ass even when I went to school there, though. And he does have puny ankles.”  
  
  
“Right?!” Lily said, throwing her arms up, “They call him AnKelly.”  
  
  
JJ snorted.  
  
  
“I made that up.”  
  
  
“JJ,” Willow said disapprovingly, though a smile tugged on her lips, “Don’t tell your mother.”  
  
  
Not long after, the neighborhood kids rang the doorbell and asked JJ if he could come out to play basketball. He showed off a little bit with his ball and then helped them all do dunks in the net that still stood in their front yard.  
  
  
Cleo and Willow glanced out at the same time and smiled.  
  
  
They were both thinking about how good of a father he would be but neither of them said it.   
  
  
When Cleo and Lily started looking at more dresses, Willow slipped upstairs to check on Emily. She heard chatter from the twins’ room and hung back at the door so she wouldn’t disturb.  
  
  
Emily was cuddling into Tara’s side on the bed with the giant gown acting like a throw blanket over them. Tara was patting Emily’s back like she was little again and Emily’s eyes were deep and sad upon being confronted with the discrimination of her principal.   
  
  
Willow couldn’t make out what they were saying and she thought it was because they were speaking quietly but after a moment she realized it was because they were speaking French.   
  
  
As children, Tara had spoken some French to all of the children but Emily had been the only one it really stuck with, mostly because Tara would bring her off to little days out when Lily was going through all of her psychological assessments as a youngster. A trip to see ‘Une vie de chat’ in the movie theater had cemented Emily's love for the language and it was like their own little private joke since, except cultured and looked good on college applications.  
  
  
Willow turned to leave and immediately bumped into Lily.  
  
  
“Whoops, sorry panda.”  
  
  
Lily rolled up on her toes.  
  
  
“Hey, can I get a pass on consequences if I take Emily’s gown and crazy-glue it to AnKelly’s car like a cover?”  
  
  
Willow desperately wanted to say ‘yes’.  
  
  
“You’ve been texting Robyn, haven’t you?”  
  
  
Lily shrugged.  
  
  
“You’re going off to college, kid,” Willow answered and put her hand on Lily’s shoulder, “You have to learn that there’s consequences to _everything_.”  
  
  
Lily sighed dramatically and continued into the room.  
  
  
“Mom, Cleo wants to know—”  
  
  
She finally looked over to them but instead of seeing an emotional embrace, she burst out laughing.  
  
  
“What?” Tara asked with a frown.  
  
  
Lily pointed above the bed and bent over laughing.  
  
  
Both Tara and Emily looked up.   
  
  
“I don’t understand,” Tara replied but was starting to feel Lily’s giggling energy tug at her lips.  
  
  
“It’s an Oklahoma! Poster,” Emily said, but she too was lost.  
  
  
Lily eventually pulled herself together long enough to point again.  
  
  
“That little character in the corner above you is called Ike Skidmore!”  
  
  
“And…?” Tara prompted.  
  
  
Lily pursed her lips.  
  
  
“That makes you…that makes you…” she crouched over, laughing, “Myke and Ike!”  
  
  
Tara glanced back up at the poster, then back to Lily with a wry smile.  
  
  
“You’re definitely your mother’s daughter,” she said and turned to grip Emily’s shoulders, “Will we go fix this thing up so you’re the belle of the graduation?”  
  
  
Emily frowned unsurely.  
  
  
“Maybe I just shouldn’t go.”  
  
  
“Sister,” Lily said, dropping onto the other side of the bed so Tara would hold her too, though she’d never admit it, “I’ve watched you go through four years of the highest echelons of dicks in our school pick on you because they thought you were the most likely to take it. And I also watched you take it.”  
  
  
Emily’s head ducked and Tara frowned uncertainly.  
  
  
“But these last few months?” Lily continued easily, “You don’t take it anymore. You don’t act any different, you still ignore it, but now you don’t care. I can see it. And guess what? _They_ can see it too.”  
  
  
Emily looked up and Tara smiled.  
  
  
“That’s why I haven’t really freaked out about this whole baby thing,” Lily shrugged as she reached across Tara so she and Emily could play with each others’ fingers; something they’d been doing since they were babies.  
  
  
“Um…” Emily replied skeptically, recalling Lily’s initial reaction.  
  
  
Lily rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“Okay, so I had to, like, _take a minute_ ,” she admitted and flicked her hair, “But then Julliard worked out for me and you were a big dummy who tried to take those pills…point is, even though there’s _no way_ I could imagine having a baby right now…maybe ever…you? You got through high school on the lowest rung of the ladder. You survived. You got this. And we’ll all be there to help.”  
  
  
She paused.  
  
  
“But I want to be the cool aunt who lavishes the kid with money and gifts, not the changing-diaper aunt.”  
  
  
“You’d need to get a job first,” Tara said wryly.  
  
  
Lily rolled her eyes and pushed herself up.  
  
  
“Anyway, you’re coming to graduation. Even if it’s just to see the look on Ank— _Principal Kelly’s_ face when you get your diploma in a gown pulled back so tight he can see your—”  
  
  
“Belly,” Tara cut in quickly, “Your beautiful belly which is nothing to be ashamed of.”  
  
  
Emily smiled gratefully at them both.  
  
  
“Okay,” she smiled softly and it lit up her face.   
  
  
She rubbed her belly and suddenly her eyes grew wide.  
  
  
“I think she just kicked.”  
  
  
Tara’s hand flew to the spot Emily’s was in.  
  
  
“Hey, baby. You there?”  
  
  
Suddenly she felt a kick too and the look on her face confirmed it to Emily.  
  
  
“Willow! Cleo! JJ!” Tara called quickly, “The baby is kicking!”  
  
  
There was a sudden flurry of activity on the stairs and then everyone was crowding around the small bed to feel Emily’s belly and exchange smiles and sounds of delight. Even Willow, though there was some sadness behind her eyes.  
  
  
Emily felt a lump form in her throat as she guided hand after hand around where the baby’s little legs were making themselves known.  
  
  
Truthfully, the reason she’d gotten through the last few months and the shock of the pregnancy itself was by telling the baby ‘it’s you and me’.  
  
  
But now she knew it was ‘you and me and everyone’.  
  


* * *

  
Lily sat in the huge stadium where she was to graduate, tapping her fingers repeatedly against the armrest. She remembered being at JJ and Kayden’s graduation on the football field at the high school and could remember being able to see them cross the stage.  
  
  
The people on the stage right now looked like ants. Holo technology was great, but the way gatherings had had to adapt to accommodate them lost something in the process.  
  
  
At least zoom technology had come on too. They could get a clear picture on a camera even if they could barely see it themselves.  
  
  
As she sat waiting for the rest of the family to show so they could claim the seats, she felt a hand on her shoulder.   
  
  
“Finally, Mom,” she started to scoff, then looked back and jumped up with a delighted smile, “Emmett!”  
  
  
She practically tackled him to the ground but he stood tall and wrapped his arms around her.  
  
  
“I’ve missed you so much!”  
  
  
Lily pulled back and smooched him hard.  
  
  
“It’s only been a couple of weeks you big baby. You look good in those robes, by the way. They’re kinda tight. Did AnKelly give you the wrong ones too?”  
  
  
Emmett settled his hands on Lily’s waist and smiled at seeing her and listening to her speak, but it faltered a bit.  
  
  
“I wanna talk to you later, okay?”  
  
  
Lily leaned in and rested her head on Emmett’s shoulder, looking up at him.  
  
  
“What’s up?”  
  
  
“Not now,” Emmett replied softly, tenderly.  
  
  
Lily brushed her hand down Emmett’s arm and linked their fingers together in a firm hold.  
  
  
“Emmett. It’s me. Just tell me. Before this place becomes a zoo.”  
  
  
Emmett gulped.  
  
  
“Can we go for a walk?”  
  
  
Lily shook her head softly.  
  
  
“I have to save my family’s seats.”  
  
  
Instead, she brought Emmett back to the chairs and sat where she had been before. Emmett sat in beside her. Their hands joined on the armrest in the middle.  
  
  
Emmett's eyes were full of something Lily hadn’t seen on him except when he was around his father. Regret. Remorse. Pain for not being who he was expected to be.  
  
  
“Today is not the day to do this. But neither is tomorrow. Or the next. The right day was a long time ago and I’m sorry about that.”  
  
  
Lily pressed her palm to Emmett’s cheek. On contact, a tear fell from Emmett’s eye. His voice came out in a croak.  
  
  
“Lily, I’m gay.”  
  
  
For a moment, the static of moving metal and flapping plastic and growing chatter of voices became nothing to Lily; just an echoing hum that became sharper and sharper until it almost popped in her ears and she could hear clearly again.  
  
  
“Do you still want to be my friend?” were the first words out of her mouth when her speaking functions returned at the same time as hearing.  
  
  
Emmett, experiencing his own lack of hearing from the loud thump of his own heart in his ears, took in a sharp breath.  
  
  
“I’m sorry?”  
  
  
“Do you still want to be friends?” Lily repeated clearly and squeezed Emmett’s hands tenderly.  
  
  
Emmett blinked; his eyes heavy with unshed tears.  
  
  
“More than anything.”  
  
  
Lily gulped and felt her own eyes fill. She leaned in and rested her forehead on Emmett’s.  
  
  
“You have to take me to the best gay bars in New York City, okay?”  
  
  
Emmett allowed the tears to fall.  
  
  
“Did you know?”  
  
  
Lily shook her head.  
  
  
“No,” she admitted and smiled a watery smile, “But apart from my sisters, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had. I don’t need to sleep with you. I just need you in my life.”  
  
  
Emmett placed a single, soft kiss on Lily’s lips. It was wet with two sets of tears.  
  
  
Lily laughed as they parted; a release.  
  
  
“You are a really great kisser though.”  
  
  
Emmett laughed in the same way and that look drained from his eyes, replaced with something new and vibrant and _him_ and Lily loved that look more than she’d ever loved the idea of being his girlfriend.  
  
  
“You too, sister,” Emmett wiped his eyes on his sleeve, “I love you, Lily.”  
  
  
Lily leaned into Emmett’s side and he wrapped an arm around her.  
  
  
“I love you, Emmett.”  
  
  
Despite the growing bustle and chaos surrounding them, they sat like that peacefully for several minutes until the rest of the Rosenberg-Maclay clan got there.  
  
  
Lily took one look at Emily’s gown, held together as best they could with clips and thread and safety pins poking into uncomfortable places, then over to Emmett and slowly smiled.  
  
  
About forty-five minutes later, Lily sat between Emmett and Emily and knew she was surrounded by a couple of Em’s that she would love for her entire life. She glanced down at Emily’s belly and smiled. A little-Em too. Technically that baby had her DNA also, so she knew it would be gorgeous.  
  
  
It was a technical error that had them all together; the ‘Maclay’ portion of their surname preceding Emmett’s ‘McFarland’, even though they should have been grouped by the ‘Rosenberg’. Still, Lily wasn’t complaining and as Emily’s name was called, she pushed her encouragingly to go up the stairs to the stage.  
  
  
The look on AnKelly’s face was every bit as delicious as Lily had envisioned as Emily strode across the stage in the gown she’d swapped with Emmett with her belly round and beautiful and unabashedly on show.  
  
  
Lily stood up to clap when Emily accepted and there were a few surprising whoops and hollers from other students behind her.  
  
  
Of course, even rows and rows and rows away, she heard her family and their excited cheering.   
  
  
She looked over her shoulder and just about made out Robyn on holo, in the aisle beside Kayden, who’d gotten in that morning, and then JJ and Cleo, who had their arms around each other sidelong. Then Willow and Tara wiping tears from their eyes and sharing a look that only they could understand.  
  
  
Lily got so caught up in it all that she forgot that she was the next to walk until Emmett poked her repeatedly. Still, cool as a cucumber, she strolled up there and had a moment of disbelief when she heard it being announced that she would attend Julliard in the Fall.  
  
  
As soon as she moved past him, a weight lifted on Principal Kelly’s face. Lily caught it from the corner of her eye and considered flashing the whole stadium just to keep him on his toes but honestly, she had bigger concerns now.   
  
  
She was going to Julliard with Em _mett_.  
  
  
And leaving Em _ily_ behind.  
  
  
This was never the plan.  
  
  
But it was a pretty solid first lesson in adulting.


	16. Chapter 16

Willow walked into the kitchen where she spotted Tara trying to work out the music system to pump some noise int their backyard, which was crowded with people.  
  
  
“You know, TARA can do that.”  
  
  
Tara stood back and regarded the system with a frown.  
  
  
“It’s too odd asking myself to do something.”  
  
  
Willow slid an arm around Tara’s waist and kissed her cheek.  
  
  
“Well, then I’ll do it. TARA, cue party playlist and play to backyard speakers.”  
  
  
“Playing party playlist on external speakers,” TARA’s oddly automated voice returned, and very quickly The Strangers started to play.  
  
  
Tara shook her head.  
  
  
“I still don’t know how you convinced me to record my voice like that.”  
  
  
Willow pressed a higher kiss to Tara’s ear.  
  
  
“I believe it involved some of this…” she let her fingertips caress Tara’s waist, “And a little bit of that.”  
  
  
Her fingertips brushed over Tara’s hip bone where the scar from her hysterectomy ended.  
  
  
“And a lot of…”  
  
  
Her fingers pushed lower and Tara gently bucked Willow back.  
  
  
“Willow,” she said in a tone that tried to be exasperated but was all smiles.  
  
  
Willow’s fingers slowly retreated with a little dance and she popped a quick kiss on Tara’s neck.  
  
  
“Let’s go back outside and mingle. Ooh, with gin and tonics this time. I love an excuse to day drink.”  
  
  
Outside, the backyard was in full swing.   
  
  
Buffy and Jesse were competing to see how many chin-ups they could do on Tara’s steel washing line pole; Angel and Liam were discussing tree houses with Xander; Alice and Becky were admiring a couple of the local dads; Brian was refilling their glasses of wine; Anya was bringing Pixie around to all of the people she didn’t know and introducing her as ‘my daughter, the future doctor. She’s going to make a lot of money’; Ella was trying to sneak a beer into her red solo cup and Alex and JJ were, as ever, playing basketball.  
  
  
Coming up the laneway on the side of the house, Kayden left a case of beer next to the bucket filling with ice and enveloped Emily in a huge hug.  
  
  
He smiled downward when he felt her belly push into him.  
  
  
“Baby sis,” he said softly, “Sorry I was late to the ceremony. They can make those trains three times faster than a plane but still no quick resolution to a tree on the line. I’m so proud of you.”  
  
  
“Thank you, Kayden,” Emily whispered evocatively.  
  
  
Kayden pulled back and looked at her tightly fitted gown she hadn’t taken off yet because Tara wanted pictures with everyone.  
  
  
“I like this look. It’s…” he paused and considered it, “Real.”  
  
  
He nodded once, winked, and wandered the small space away to where Lily was accepting lots of congratulations cards and making the guy beside her hold them. Must be the boyfriend, Kayden thought.  
  
  
Her eyes lit up when she saw Kayden approaching.  
  
  
“Kayden!” she threw her arms around her brother’s shoulders and nuzzling his scruff for a moment, “This is Emmett, by the way.”  
  
  
Kayden started to extend his hand.  
  
  
“Oh, the famous—” suddenly his eyes widened but he covered by averting them quickly, “Uh, hey.”  
  
  
Emmett’s cheeks flushed as he weakly shook Kayden’s hand. Kayden pointed his thumb over his shoulder.  
  
  
“I’m gonna go get some of Mom’s potato salad before the savages eat it.”  
  
  
“You mean Alex and JJ?” Lily grinned.  
  
  
Kayden leaned in and hugged Lily again.  
  
  
“I love you. Congratulations.”  
  
  
“I love you, too,” Lily returned and watched him retreat for a few moments before arching an eyebrow at Emmett, “What was that about?”  
  
  
Emmett’s eyes bore into the ground.  
  
  
“This is awkward,” he said, shuffling from one foot to the other, “I think I’ve spoken to your brother before.”  
  
  
He glanced up; face wincing.  
  
  
“…on Grindr.”  
  
  
Lily’s eyebrows rose softly on her face.  
  
  
“Oh.”  
  
  
Emmett quickly grasped Lily’s hand.  
  
  
“Lily, you have to know, I never cheated on you,” he said sincerely with that elongated stare now directed at Lily, “I did this young entrepreneur program and got real close to my mentor. He’s the only other person I told apart from you. He suggested maybe I could speak to some guys just to see how I feel. But that’s all I did, talk.”  
  
  
Lily cupped Emmett’s cheek.  
  
  
“It’s okay. I get it.”  
  
  
Emmett smiled softly and held Lily’s hand there.  
  
  
“I just need you to know—” he suddenly stopped when he recognized someone joining the party, “Dylan?”  
  
  
Dylan looked over at his name being called and smiled easily.  
  
  
“Emmett,” he said, walked over and hugging Emmett whilst patting his back, “Congrats on graduation.”  
  
  
“Thanks,” Emmett replied with a furrowed brow of confusion.  
  
  
Dylan turned to Lily.  
  
  
“Lily! You’re all grown up!”  
  
  
They hugged while that crease on Emmett’s forehead just grew deeper.  
  
  
“…you two know each other?”  
  
  
“Dylan and Kayden were together for like all of high school,” Lily explained and it was her turn to look confused, “Do _you_ two know each other?”  
  
  
Emmett cocked his head knowingly.  
  
  
“He’s the mentor in the entrepreneur program I told you about.”  
  
  
“You set up a business in your mom’s basement and they let you call yourself an entrepreneur,” Dylan said bashfully, “Hey, I’m gonna go say hi to Kay. Congratulations again.”  
  
  
He patted Emmett’s back again and made a motion to indicate he wasn’t going to spy on him or confront him with anything at the party.  
  
  
Lily watched him go and slowly arched her eyebrow at Emmett.  
  
  
“Were you two ever…”   
  
  
Emmett was quick to wave his hands.  
  
  
“Oh, no, no,” he shook his head too, “He’s like a brother.”  
  
  
Lily nodded once.  
  
  
“Good,” she smiled, “Because _your_ brother and _my_ brother… are so back on.”  
  
  
Emmett looked over his shoulder where Kayden and Dylan were laughing over something. He arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“Way?”  
  
  
Lily grinned.  
  
  
“Way.”  
  
  
Once the grandparents had arrived, Tara stood on the back porch and gently tapped a spoon against the glass of champagne she’d opted for over a gin and tonic. She gestured for Lily and Emily to come and stand with her.  
  
  
“Thank you all so much for coming today. We’re very proud of our graduates,” she put an arm around both girls, “And the achievements they’ve put out into the world. And will continue to put out into the world.”  
  
  
She smiled at them both individually.  
  
  
“When my girls were born, they didn’t have the easiest start in life. But they fought and I’ve watched them grow into these beautiful young ladies who are going to lead the most momentous lives.”  
  
  
She paused and swallowed.  
  
  
“I’ll stop before I get teary-eyed—”   
  
  
“Before?” Lily snorted and everybody laughed.  
  
  
Tara threw some side-eye and a smile in her daughter’s direction.  
  
  
“We love you both so much. And we can’t wait to see what the rest of your lives bring now you’re taking your first steps into adul—”  
  
  
She stopped again and waved her hand over her eyes.   
  
  
“And _my_ daughter’s going to be a doctor!” Anya cut in with her chest puffed out.  
  
  
“Mom,” Pixie shot Anya some side-eye, though it was hidden by her luscious pink hair she had gathered over that same shoulder.  
  
  
Anya just stood taller.  
  
  
“What? Can’t I be proud that my children will be successful and make lots of money?”  
  
  
“Ahn,” Xander put a hand on Anya’s shoulder, “Be proud on our own time, okay?”  
  
  
Willow stepped in and came over to present the girls with special white gold necklaces with the year engraved onto an infinity symbol, set with diamonds.  
  
  
Both girls let one mom put the necklaces on them and then hugged and smiled for pictures. Once that was over, they went to change and Tara retreated to a quiet spot.  
  
  
Willow came over and topped up Tara’s glass before sitting beside her.  
  
  
“You okay?”  
  
  
Tara looked over to her wife with glassy eyes.  
  
  
“Everything is feeling a little surreal,” she said, dabbing her eyes with a tissue she fetched from her pocket, “We thought we’d be empty-nesters.”   
  
  
“Now we’re going back to square one,” Willow nodded evenly.  
  
  
Tara shook her head softly; feeling misunderstood.  
  
  
“I will love Emily’s baby. I already do,” she replied with a soft clearing of her throat, “But she’s Emily’s baby.”  
  
  
Willow put her hand on Tara’s shoulder.  
  
  
“And Emily is our baby. And her having a baby doesn’t change that,” she reassured with a squeeze, “You think Lily isn’t going to need her moms while she’s off living it up in New York City by herself? 400 miles isn’t going to stop her lugging her laundry onto the train every weekend because she knows Mom is a soft touch.”  
  
  
Tara laughed quietly and Willow brought her hand down over Tara’s heart.  
  
  
“They’ll never be gone, any of them. Because we raised them. And that means they live in here forever.”  
  
  
They shared a smile and Tara nodded in acceptance.  
  
  
“Not an ending. A new beginning.”  
  
  
Just then, Willow caught sight of someone out of the corner of her eye and quickly grabbed them around the middle.  
  
  
“Plus we can steal Liam whenever we want!”  
  
  
She made bite motions on him and he tried to twist his young body free whilst giggles fell freely from his mouth.  
  
  
“It tickles Aunty Willow! Aunty Tara, save me!”  
  
  
A few feet away at the drinks table, Ella stood tall at 5 foot 10 inches and it did nothing for her trying to seem inconspicuous.   
  
  
“Ella Jane McNally,” Jesse’s booming voice came up behind her.  
  
  
Ella spun around, eyes wide.  
  
  
“Uh…”  
  
  
Jesse took the beer from Ella’s hand, looked at her sternly then yanked the bottle down so the cap popped off against the table. He then smirked a little and handed it to her.  
  
  
Ella slowly smiled.  
  
  
“For real?”  
  
  
Jesse arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“You think I’m dumb and think you’ve never had a drink?” he asked with the lines around his eyes and lips creasing affectionately, “You’ll be legal in a few months anyway. I always wanted to enjoy a beer with my kid.”  
  
  
She put an arm around her shoulders and brought her to some free seats.  
  
  
“Never, ever drink and drive.”  
  
  
“I know,” Ella nodded quickly and clinked bottles with Jesse.  
  
  
He looked at her forlornly.  
.  
  
“Wish you weren’t leaving again for the whole summer.”  
  
  
Ella looked down shyly.  
  
  
“I _have_ to go to San Francisco. Getting to shadow the cancer research team will be a huge boost to my career. Not every aspiring microbiologist gets this opportunity.”  
  
  
“When I was going into my last year of college, all I cared about was my beer pong champion title,” Jesse shook his head to himself, “But I’ll be there cheering when you get the Nobel Prize for curing cancer.”  
  
  
Ella frowned.  
  
  
“I don’t know if that’s a cheering event.”  
  
  
Jesse lifted his chin defiantly.  
  
  
“Don’t care. The world is going to know how proud I am of my baby girl.”  
  
  
Alice plopped down in a chair beside them both and smiled at her two favorite people.  
  
  
“Make that two of us.”  
  
  
Catching Lily as she came back into the party after changing into more comfortable clothes, Kayden blocked her from going on further.  
  
  
“Lil, I have to tell you something.”  
  
  
Lily waved her hand.  
  
  
“My boyfriend’s gay, old news,” she said and linked arms with Kayden, a grin on her face, “Tell me about _your_ boyfriend.”  
  
  
Kayden’s mouth opened and promptly closed.  
  
  
Nearby, Becky found Brian tinkering with one of Willow’s gadgets and swung her arm around his neck from behind.  
  
  
“Hey old man,” she said tenderly, “Need anything?”   
  
  
Brian tilted her head and smiled back at her.  
  
  
“Just your gorgeous smile.”  
  
  
Becky arched a playful eyebrow.  
  
  
“What if I proposed a threesome with Mr. Number Twenty-Seven over there?”  
  
  
Brian followed Becky’s eye line and smirked.  
  
  
“Is twenty-seven his house number or a reference to something I’m too scared to ask?”  
  
  
Becky winked.  
  
  
“Only one way to find out…”  
  
  
While Brian contemplated turning the hose on his girlfriend, Buffy infiltrated Xander and Angel’s conversation.  
  
  
“I hear we’re commissioning a treehouse for Liam’s tenth birthday,” she said and looked pointedly to Angel, “I hear this from my son who is so excited he’s about to explode despite Mama not being consulted.”  
  
  
“Oh, not just a treehouse,” Xander replied animatedly, “ _THE_ treehouse. The one I always wanted to build Alex but couldn’t. Turrets and slides and everything you can imagine.”  
  
  
“Why couldn’t you build it?” Buffy frowned.  
  
  
“Why build a structure I can’t even have sex in?” Anya popped up seemingly from nowhere, then immediately answered the unasked question, “Splinters.”  
  
  
Buffy and Angel shared a disappointed look.  
  
  
Lily and Emily both had to make circuits to thank all of the people for their gifts but unusually, they didn’t do it together. Not intentionally but perhaps a natural response to their paths beginning to meander away from each other.  
  
  
“Thank you, Nana!” Lily squealed as she attached her fancy new watch and pocked the cash Rose had given her.  
  
  
“That’s for you to keep to all of your classes on time,” Rose advised.  
  
  
“All the while staying stylish,” Lily grinned and leaned down to hug Rose, “I love it. I love you.”  
  
  
She bounced off and Emily took the free seat shyly. Rose lifted a shaky and arthritic hand and covered Emily’s hand.  
  
  
“I have something else for you, sweetheart,” she said and retrieved a wrapped soft rectangle.  
  
  
Emily smiled gratefully and opened it. Inside was a faded pink baby blanket.  
  
  
“Your Grandma Lisa knit that,” Rose smiled sadly, “We both wrapped our babies up in it. Including your mother. I thought it was right that you have it.”  
  
  
Emily caressed the soft fabric and had a look on her face a mix of being overcome and overjoyed.  
  
  
Rose patted Emily’s hand.  
  
  
“How’s everything going?”  
  
  
Emily looked up slowly.  
  
  
“She started to kick.”  
  
  
A flash of memory popped in Rose’s eyes.  
  
  
“It’s a feeling unlike anything else, isn’t it?”  
  
  
Emily just nodded quietly. Rose brushed her fingers over Emily’s knuckles.  
  
  
“Are you okay?”  
  
  
Emily swallowed deeply.  
  
  
“I guess now graduation is over it all feels…real.”  
  
  
“I see,” Rose nodded evenly, “And how does that sit with you?”  
  
  
Emily looked up with vulnerable eyes.  
  
  
“It’s scary.”  
  
  
“Being a parent is very scary,” Rose agreed and offered a small, reassuring smile, “And it’s okay to feel that. But you’re never alone, Emily. Ever.”  
  
  
Emily smiled and held the blanket to her chest.  
  
  
Mid-afternoon Emmett had to leave to get the train back to Hoboken but he promised to be in touch right away. They hugged for a whole minute but once he left, Lily didn’t have much time to contemplate his absence or revelations for the day as Ira brought her aside to wax lyrical on his new favorite subject: Lily’s matriculation.  
  
  
“We have a standing reservation at Essex House so we can come and see all of your recitals,” Ira gushed for the seventh solid minute, but Lily loved any attention on her.  
  
  
“You don’t have to come to _all_ of them, Zayde,” she replied graciously, then grinned and spun her hips excitedly, “But you can if you want!”  
  
  
Ira held a hand over his heard.  
  
  
“My granddaughter, a Julliardian!” he said with delight overtaking his face and eyes, “You are what I am most proud of, Lily Lisa Rosenberg-Maclay.”  
  
  
Lily smiled, but it was tinged with uncertainty.  
  
  
“You should be proud of Emily, too.”  
  
  
“Of course,” Ira replied and looked to Michelle, a bit affronted.  
  
  
Michelle just looked back at him and patted his arm. Ira swallowed and hung his head before raising it with a new determination in his eyes.  
  
  
“I might just go tell her that myself.”  
  
  
Finally, a long day at the end of a long road ended and Tara found herself in bed looking through old photos of all of the kids on Willow’s iPad.  
  
  
Willow came into the bedroom after finishing the final clean-up and peeled her sweater off her body.  
  
  
Tara glanced over and promptly flicked the switch on the iPad to ‘off’.  
  
  
Willow happened to look over and they locked eyes. Willow was sure she could actually hear the sizzle between them.  
  
  
“Whoa.”  
  
  
Tara swept her legs off the bed and stood confidently. She strode over to Willow, who suddenly couldn’t take her eyes off her wife, and backed her up until the door closed behind them.   
  
  
Willow drew an indrawn breath.   
  
  
“And again I say…whoa.”   
  
  
Tara hooked her thumbs into the belt loops of Willow’s pants and pulled her hips forward so they connected with her own. She leaned in so her body pressed Willow into the door and heard a small whimper of need as Willow’s lips parted thirstily.   
  
  
Willow felt a shot of desire strike through her as Tara’s body pinned her. Her natural instinct was to wiggle free, but she stayed deathly still in case she missed even the slightest pressure of Tara’s touch. She felt hot breath on her neck, then the softest lips pressing themselves onto her skin, like a searing brand claiming her.   
  
  
She gulped when those lips passed her throat and shivered when they moved passed her collarbone and into the exposed V of her shirt, over her heart.   
  
  
She looked down and watched Tara’s head descend lower until it was in line with her crotch. Her pants came rushing down her legs and exposed her to the coolness of the air, though she wasn’t long warming up with how her blood was pumping through her, making her skin feel alight.   
  
  
During the brief reprieve from overheating due to desire, she noticed Tara shift position and cocked her head in concern.   
  
  
“Should you be on your knees without the — yes, you should, you should definitely be on your knees.”   
  
  
Tara’s nose pushing into her panties put pause to her worry and made her head banged lightly back against the wall. She felt her panties start to drop as well and gasped out what she needed to say before she wouldn’t be able to anymore.   
  
  
“But I don’t want you to be uncomfortable!”   
  
  
Tara paused with her face close enough to smell her wife’s need and her mouth very close to tasting it. She looked up at Willow’s face looking back down in earnest and comfortably stood to her full height.   
  
  
She brushed her nose off Willow’s, then planted a soft but searing kiss on her lips.   
  
  
“I…love… _you_.”   
  
  
Willow felt the air pulled from her lungs at the way Tara evocatively whispered the last two words.   
  
  
There was that familiar thud of skull on wood as Tara’s mouth finally met its target. Willow’s eyelids fluttered closed as Tara’s tongue bathed her in that intense warmth that only she could give. Her hips lifted away from the door when she felt the fluttering of pleasure, teasing her belly only for her butt to slam right back down when one ricocheted through her, shooting right up and causing her to gasp.   
  
  
Her fist balled by her side as her body fought to release the tension inside. Tara’s name was hot on her lips as her palm began backslapping the door, with increasing intensity in line with her quiet cries of ‘yes, yes, yes!’   
  
  
With a final hitched breath, her fingers bent back and lightly scratched the wood on the door, the marks directly correlating with how long the pleasure pumped through her.   
  
  
She held Tara’s head for the next few moments as she calmed down, then helped her stand. She took Tara’s arms and tried to turn her to reverse their positions, but Tara stopped her.   
  
  
“You don’t want to be… consumed?” Willow asked with an unsure smile.   
  
  
Tara fixed her gaze on Willow’s.   
  
  
“I want to be taken.”   
  
  
Willow gulped and Tara walked backward to the bed, resuming the position she’d been in when Willow first entered. She ran her hand in circles around the empty spot beside her.   
  
  
“Come to bed, sexy Momma.”   
  
  
Willow floated over to the bed with her eyes never leaving Tara until her knees hit the side. She stepped out of her panties, swinging around one ankle, and climbed in beside Tara. Tara scooted closer and ran her hand down Willow’s arm and off to her hip. She gently cupped between her legs and gave the slightest tug on her hair.  
  
  
When she heard Willow gasp, she planted her lips on her wife before the inhale was even finished. Willow felt a new fire ignite in her belly and wanted to leap on top of Tara to release all of the passion that had built up for her, but she was feeling that same uneasiness as before about Tara’s delicate joints.   
  
  
When Tara pulled back for a moment to get air, Willow swallowed audibly and hid her hand to stop the shaking. She pushed Tara gently to lay her down, then moved on top without putting any weight on her. She kissed Tara, slipping her tongue past her wife’s lips for a teasing second before putting her mouth next to Tara’s ear to whisper.   
  
  
“No one has a tongue like mine.”   
  
  
Tara nudged Willow’s cheek with her nose until she lifted her head. She trailed a finger down around Willow’s ear and glanced downward momentarily before back at her wife with lust-filled eyes.   
  
  
“You’ll have to prove it to me.”   
  
  
Willow smirked, kissed Tara’s lips, then continued downward. She bunched the material of the lingerie up and right over her wife’s head so her beautiful creamy skin was exposed. She pressed a finger against the seam of Tara’s panties and felt the wetness through the material. She watched Tara shudder and it sent a shiver up her own spine.   
  
  
A moment later Tara sat up and starting unbuttoning Willow’s shirt, pressing her lips against each inch of skin revealed. Willow felt the rush of cool air as her shirt was pulled off her arms and the palpable heat somewhere else. She unsnapped her own bra and pulled Tara up to kiss so their chests rubbed together, leaving her nude and Tara in her lacy panties. Tara’s lips were continually coming for Willow, who was only too delighted to indulge in her wife’s amorousness.   
  
  
Tara’s hands cupped Willow’s rear, palms squeezing all she wanted; all she could find. Willow gently lowered Tara to a lying position again and tore herself away from her wife’s lips to move down to her lower ones. She pulled the waistband of Tara’s panties down just half an inch, kissing her exposed hip bone in toward her bellybutton. Lots of feather-light kisses were given to her stomach, which Tara allowed without verbally or non-verbally asking for more.   
  
  
Finally, Willow’s mouth dipped lower, brushing the start of Tara’s curls. Tara’s hips jerked and Willow didn’t deny her any longer, slipping her wife’s panties down her toned legs. She kissed Tara’s thigh, where her arousal had begun to spill out. Her tongue slid against Tara’s warm skin until she got to heat she craved.   
  
  
Tara’s eyelids fluttered in pleasure when she felt Willow’s tongue move between her lips. A strained moan passed her lips and her legs automatically fell open to welcome Willow inside. Willow ran her middle finger along Tara’s lips until it was slick enough to push inside. She felt the pulsating pull of her wife’s inner muscles and reached in deeply, to Tara’s shaken moans. She added a second finger and moved her lips right above, loving the little jump she felt on contact.   
  
  
“Oh!” Tara exclaimed as Willow’s tongue proved its worth, “Oh Willow…”   
  
  
Her hips followed Willow’s head, seeking as much of that beating tongue as was offered, which was plenty. She let every moan she produced bubble out with little concern and called out Willow’s name with every deep pang of pleasure sent between her legs. She felt herself start to come and thought about hanging on for a moment to prolong everything, but she wanted it much too much. It washed over her in one, long wave, with her breath caught in her throat and her fingers clawing the sheet. Willow glanced up and felt a tightening in her belly at how Tara’s taut body looked in the waning daylight.   
  
  
She kissed up to Tara’s breasts and shivered as she remembered them being swollen with even more fullness.   
  
  
After a minute, Tara tugged Willow the rest of the way up by her cheeks and kissed her. Their tongues met and responded as enthusiastically as each other while Tara turned Willow on her back. She was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn’t realize Tara’s mouth was moving between her legs again until it was already there. She opened her legs for Tara and folded her arms under her head to relax.   
  
  
During one of her soft cries of Tara’s name, Tara responded and returned up to kiss her. Tara reached between them and let her fingers dance where her tongue had been. Willow moved them gently on their sides and returned the favor. Soon they were moaning and grinding into each other in a flurry of movement.   
  
  
“Oh god, Tara,” Willow said, gushing and panting at the same time.   
  
  
Tara moaned into Willow’s ear as she moved down to enter Willow and gasped sharply when Willow copied her. They rocked into each other as the air grew hotter and hotter between them until it was almost crackling with electricity. Tara started to come again first as her skin was still taut with the sensitivity of her previous orgasm, but Willow was on her heels not far behind. Their kissing broke at the same time as their bodies slumped together and they finally sighed into each other’s necks.   
  
  
After a moment, Tara rolled off but kept an arm strewn loosely around Willow’s waist.   
  
  
“Wow.”   
  
  
“I forgot how good spontaneous sex is,” Willow said, stretching her toes.   
  
  
“Is that what it is?” Tara asked, blowing some hair from her brow, “I was all in for that. I can feel it everywhere.”   
  
  
“Well, letting off those old ‘worried about the kids’ steamy-vibes doesn’t hurt,” Willow replied wryly, “Doesn’t make for the steamiest satisfaction when they’re all you’re thinking about.”   
  
  
“Keep me satisfied like that and you’ll have one very happy Mom,” Tara replied with a very gratified look on her face. Willow turned on her side and kissed along Tara’s shoulder blade.   
  
  
“Your satisfaction is my guarantee.”   
  
  
She kissed Tara’s neck and licked her salty skin.  
  
  
“Mmm…do you still want me?”  
  
  
Before Tara could answer, there was suddenly the hum of an autonomous voice.  
  
  
“Yes, Willow. Yes, Willow. Yes, Willow. Yes, Willow.”  
  
  
Tara’s head shot up and her eyes narrowed at Willow.  
  
  
“Did you program it to dirty talk?”  
  
  
“No!” Willow replied quickly, then grimaced, “Kinda?”  
  
  
Tara’s eyelids fluttered in annoyance.  
  
  
Willow reached out and squeezed Tara’s arm.  
  
  
“Not anything _really_ dirty. I leave that stuff for you.”  
  
  
Tara rolled her eyes and sighed but couldn’t help but smile.  
  
  
“Come on, then. I better earn my keep. You up for another round, old lady?”  
  
  
Willow grinned.  
  
  
“TARA, snooze for thirty minutes.”   
  
  
She rolled back on top of Tara and arched a saucy eyebrow.  
  
  
“Better make it an hour.”


	17. Chapter 17

Willow was on her knees using the famous knee pads Tara had gifted her for her birthday but for the less pleasurable task of deep cleaning some baseboards.  
  
  
Only the fact that they were _her_ baseboard in _her_ bar in _her_ new waterfront property made it at all a tolerable exercise, but it was a pretty compelling reason. Especially anytime she stood up and saw the view and imagined the place full of shelves and tables and beanbags and people.  
  
  
She struggled back into a standing position and wiped some dust from her pants.  
  
  
She looked around. There was still a lot to do before she started interviewing that afternoon.  
  
  
She’d considered asking Lily to help but between the wedding planning and the impending move for college, she was _very slightly_ insufferable at the moment. Emily’s belly was getting so big now that she wouldn’t be much help with any of the manual labor so she was out too. Tara was working all day and so that left Willow all on her lonesome to have this place clean enough that somebody would want to work here even though it was devoid of furniture.  
  
  
At least, it was physically devoid. All Willow had to do was stand in the middle of the empty space to see what it could — would — be. She liked the idea of keeping it aesthetically similar to the Sunnydale store, especially since Tara had made most of the design decisions there, but was planning to change the wood furnishings to match the inbuilt bar and other wood decorations — like her spotless baseboards.  
  
  
The wood was dark but if it wasn’t, Willow was sure she would have seen her reflection in them. A buffing worthy of Ruth, who may have had her own messy style of book organization but always had the cleanest floors in the town.   
  
  
Given that was Sunnydale, that was only a mild compliment, but still.  
  
  
Willow looked up to the one fixture already in place — a copy of the portrait of Ruth on the highest beam in the building so she could look down on it all. She smiled and gave a respectful nod before going into the kitchen in the back where the old furniture was all stacked up.  
  
  
To say Willow had gotten a deal on this place would be an understatement. Like the snow that would fall on the banks of the river outside the window come winter, everything had fallen together gently but in a very impactful way.  
  
  
First, her foreknowledge of the downfall of Jonathan McFarland and accomplice wife Jennifer (currently languishing on house arrest as they awaited trial) had allowed her to approach the person she needed to to make the offer before any assets were frozen.  
  
  
Second, just as Emmett had promised, that person (Tracy, whom Willow found delightful to deal with) was very eager to rip Jonathan off with very little recourse that could come back on her. She made sure the other investors got what they were due, gave herself a higher commission to offset any loss on her part, and pretty much wrapped the building up in a bow for Willow to take.  
  
  
Thirdly, the restaurant that had been here previously, where Willow and Tara had come for their anniversary, was due to vacate so there weren’t even any messy tenant arrangements to be made. Willow even got all of the old stock like the furniture sitting in the kitchen and all of the appliances already fitted to code.  
  
  
Lastly, and by no means leastly, Willow signed her annual contract with the FBI for their licensing of TARA except this time she got them to drop the exclusivity. It meant one less zero on the paycheck but also meant Willow could use it for commercial enterprises and she had a lot of ideas for how to integrate it into the store.  
  
  
The first thing would be her wife’s sweet voice welcoming everybody on arrival.   
  
  
In the kitchen, Willow started to drag some chairs into the main area so people would have someplace to sit when they arrived. The ‘people’ in question were the interviewees' Willow had put an open call out for so she could get some help quick on pulling this place together.  
  
  
She set out ten chairs outside the office; five on either wall and shortly after, heard a gentle knock on the glass of the door.  
  
  
By the time Willow got to the door to answer it a few seconds later, there were three people already there.  
  


* * *

  
Emily walked along the river clutching her purse over her shoulder; nervously running her fingers up and down the strap.  
  
  
It was a habit she developed when avoiding confrontation in the schoolyard but often did it just walking along the street as well; trying to hide herself from the gazes of anyone who was near.   
  
  
It was a bit moot when her belly was so obviously swollen and making her stand out but old habits die hard.  
  
  
As she walked, she spotted the building of the new store across the street. Willow had brought her and Lily and JJ and Kayden to show them it when they were all home for graduation and Emily had thought it was a great spot to be able to chill out with a book.   
  
  
Emily was confused as to why there was a line outside what she knew to be an empty store, but then she recalled Willow talking that morning about doing interviews for the staff.  
  
  
She crossed the street and quietly walked through the door, getting annoyed looks from the people in front as she did so.  
  
  
She whispered an apology but was pretty quickly distracted by all of the people wandering around aimlessly inside. The few chairs were occupied and everyone else was leaning against walls or just sitting on the floor, waiting, pouring over what Emily realized were resumes.  
  
  
She heard a door opening and watched as everybody’s attention turned to the sound like animals getting a whiff of prey.  
  
  
“We’ll be in touch,” Willow said, shaking the hand of the person she was leaving the office with.  
  
  
Emily quickly strode over.  
  
  
“Momma.”  
  
  
Willow blinked as she took in Emily. Willow's eyes were heavy and there were lines of exhaustion embedded on her face.  
  
  
“Oh, Em,” Willow said, weakly reaching out to touch Emily’s arm, “It’s really nice of you to come, sweetie but way more people showed up than I intended and things are kind of crazy.”  
  
  
Emily glanced back into the main store area and back at Willow.  
  
  
“I’ll take care of it,” she said with the kind of confidence in her voice she didn’t often have, “Collect resumes and get a line going.”  
  
  
Willow’s shoulders slumped gratefully.  
  
  
“Thank you, Emily,” she said and tried to straighten up again to seem professional, “Err…who’s next?”  
  
  
Everybody clambered toward Willow, who quickly just plucked a waving resume and brought that person inside.  
  
  
She really, _really_ wished she’d gone with a recruitment agency and not just posted an open call. She would definitely be going that route when she was searching for kitchen staff.  
  
  
Fifty interviews and interviewees later, Willow waved goodbye to the last person and let her professional stature slump. Her hands went to her lower back and she just stretched for a moment.  
  
  
When she opened her eyes, she was surprised.  
  
  
The last timed she’d looked out, it was like a zoo but now there were chairs neatly sitting against all of the walls. There was some form of an intake table — a dining table of old — with stacks of resumes, name-tags, and pens (different colored to Willow’s delight), several jugs filled with water and cups and even a plate of cookies.  
  
  
“Emily, thank you so much,” Willow said as she walked toward where Emily was gathering the cups in an old basin, “I don’t know what I would have done without you. Where did you get all of this stuff?”  
  
  
“In the kitchen,” Emily answered, leaving the basin down for a moment, “And the supermarket two blocks over.”  
  
  
Willow frowned.  
  
  
“I hope you didn’t carry all of this.”  
  
  
Emily shook her head.  
  
  
“People were happy to carry their own chairs to have someplace to sit and everything else was light.”  
  
  
Willow poured herself a cup of water as she glanced over the sign-up sheet Emily had started.  
  
  
None stood out.   
  
  
Even those who had chosen to write their details in green or red for that very reason.  
  
  
While they were all pleasant people — apart from one guy who was entirely stoned the whole time, and even then he was still pleasant just completely inappropriate — Willow didn’t get the kind of passion she’d gotten when she hired Marla. Maybe it was too much to ask these days but she needed someone who she at least believed had read a book or two just for the sheer enjoyment of it. Who understood the kind of feeling Willow was trying to invoke in her customers.  
  
  
The store name said it all — Bibliosima. Enjoyment from smelling good or old books. She needed someone who _got_ that.  
  
  
“Momma, there’s one more person to interview,” Emily pulled Willow out of her internal musings.  
  
  
Willow looked around in alarm but nobody was there.   
  
  
If they were in the bathroom, she really hoped Emily had bought toilet paper too.  
  
  
She looked back to Emily expectantly, who swallowed deeply but kept her posture tall.  
  
  
“Me.”  
  
  
Willow slowly blinked.  
  
  
“Not the manager obviously,” Emily added in quickly, “I know I don’t have the experience for that.”  
  
  
Willow sat into a nearby chair and gestured for Emily to sit opposite. She did.  
  
  
“I thought you were going to work for the community college.”  
  
  
Emily struggled not to avert her gaze but it couldn’t help but fall downward.  
  
  
“Nobody even looks at my resume once they see the belly.”  
  
  
Willow nodded once evenly.  
  
  
“And who’ll take care of…?”  
  
  
“I can still get subsidized daycare as a student,” Emily’s head shot back up with renewed assurance, “I can get an associate's degree, part-time if I need to, and then move onto UB.”  
  
  
Willow’s mouth moved about as she thought.  
  
  
“And what are you planning on studying?”  
  
  
Emily inhaled and exhaled slowly.  
  
  
“I don’t know yet Momma,” she answered honestly, “But I love languages and I love books and I think I could do a really good job here. Do you know how many kids in my school read real books anymore? None. I was the only one ever in the library. Maybe if I’d had someplace like this…m-maybe I would have had more friends.”  
  
  
Willow swallowed right in time with her heart clenching.  
  
  
Emily wasn’t sure how to take her mother’s silence.  
  
  
“Momma, if there’s someone better for the job, don’t hire me,” she said and glanced over to the side where she could see the room filling itself out as it would look in the future, “I always wished I could visit the store in Sunnydale whenever I wanted. Hide away in a beanbag. I’ll still be here all the time. I want the baby to grow up here. You can think about it.”  
  
  
Emily started to stand and Willow stood with her.  
  
  
“You can’t work the bar until you’re 18.”  
  
  
Emily’s eyes lit up.  
  
  
“I know,” she nodded quickly, “But I thought, what if you had a dedicated bartender? The Buffalo market is bigger and the clientele is younger. You could build a reputation for cocktails. I can still work as a server or cashier or…however I’m needed.”  
  
  
Willow pursed her lips for a moment.  
  
  
“You’re right, you don’t have the experience to be a manager,” she said eventually and both of them were gnawing on the corner of their lips in the exact same way, “How does assistant manager sound?”  
  
  
Emily’s mouth slowly dropped.  
  
  
“It sounds amazing.”  
  
  
“How does being an assistant manager to your mother sound?” Willow arched an eyebrow and Emily’s eyes slowly widened as she registered what Willow was saying, “I need someone with the essence of Ruth. I’m realizing that that’s me. I want to run this place. Every day, not just on a quarterly basis or even on a monthly basis. And recruitment debacle aside, I know I can do it. I micro-managed poor Marla for long enough.”  
  
  
Emily’s feet turned inward and she extended her hand.  
  
  
“It’s nice to meet you, boss.”  
  
  
Willow smiled softly. Even looking at Emily was still hard for her with the ‘situation’ so evident but she couldn’t deny she felt immense pleasure at the thought of running one of Ruth’s stores with her own daughter.  
  
  
“Any other ideas for this place?”  
  
  
Emily looked back over her shoulder where the view out to the water was.  
  
  
“Have a canopy so people can sit out in the summer with a drink and a book. You could even make a unique focal point, like a hammock. Something that gets people talking.”  
  
  
Willow smiled a little more.  
  
  
This could really, really work out. It could also be really, really messy but something in her felt otherwise. She glanced over at the stack of resumes and lifted them up.  
  
  
“We’ll need some other people to work on the floor. Anyone stand out?”  
  
  
Emily came to stand beside Willow and looked on as she flicked through them.  
  
  
“Um…Peter,” she stopped her at one particular resume, “He offered to carry the table when he saw me trying to do it. No one else did.”  
  
  
“I will review Peter,” Willow replied, scanning his information quickly, “Oh, his middle name is Albus. At least he was raised by my kinda people.”  
  
  
Emily nodded.  
  
  
“And he’s studying creative writing.”  
  
  
Willow frowned; she couldn’t place him in the sea of faces she’d seen that day.  
  
  
“Remind me who I’m dealing with?”  
  
  
Emily reached above herself  
  
  
“He was tall,” she indicated his estimated height. “Blue eyes. Brown hair that fell into his eyes. Really chiseled jawline.”  
  
  
She blushed but Willow wasn’t looking at her to catch it.  
  
  
“Dreamy and steamy,” she replied firmly as she remembered, “Got it.”  
  
  
“He has a dog named Sirius Bark,” Emily added shyly.  
  
  
Willow’s head flew up with wide eyes.  
  
  
“We’re hiring him immediately,” she said definitively, “Why didn’t he say any of that in the interview?”  
  
  
Emily shrugged one shoulder easily.  
  
  
“He probably thought it was unprofessional.”  
  
  
“Well, we’ll have to beat that out of him,” Willow quipped and shook the papers again, “Give me one more.”  
  
  
Emily thumbed through them all until she found another one to take out.  
  
  
“Audrey,” she said with as assured a nod as Willow had ever seen her give, “She’s young. Lots of charisma. A single mom and she’s worked as a proofreader before. She does book reviews to get access to hard copies for her kids that she wouldn’t be able to afford otherwise. She’s working at a call center right now and would be so grateful to leave so I know she’d work hard.”  
  
  
Willow slowly smiled at her daughter.  
  
  
“I should have had you conduct the interviews,” she said honestly and bumped Emily’s shoulder, “That will be enough floor staff at least until…”  
  
  
She trailed off and they both looked at Emily’s stomach. Emily put a hand there protectively and looked up slowly.  
  
  
“H-How does that work?”  
  
  
Willow let her hand fall onto Emily’s shoulder and gently caressed her daughter’s skin past the sleeve on her t-shirt with her thumb.  
  
  
“You’re lucky that your Mom made me establish a very generous maternity package in the other store.”  
  
  
Emily’s eyes softened.  
  
  
“I think I’m lucky that Mom is…Mom.”  
  
  
Willow let out a single chuckle.  
  
  
“You and me both, kid.”   
  
  
She moved her arm around Emily’s shoulders and tilted Emily’s head toward her to kiss.  
  
  
“You and me both.”  
  


* * *

  
Tara was relieved to hear the sound of the key in the door and walked out to it to greet the person coming inside.  
  
  
“Sweetpea, there you are,” she hugged Emily, then held her at arm’s length, “I was expecting you home hours ago. What happened at college?”  
  
  
“I don’t get a hug and a ‘sweetpea’?” Willow asked with a pout as she came in behind Emily.  
  
  
Tara kissed Willow’s cheek and closed the door.  
  
  
“S-Sorry, Mom,” Emily said, leaving her backpack by the door, “I, um, went to see the new store and stayed to help out.”  
  
  
“And then we got ice-cream,” Willow added cheerily.  
  
  
Tara arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“Before dinner?”   
  
  
Willow and Emily shared a guilty look. Tara was grinning inside to see them hovered close like they used to be but she couldn’t very well let that show.  
  
  
“Go wash up,” she directed Emily up the stairs, “Tell Lily and Emmett they need to wash up too.”  
  
  
“Emmett is here?” Willow took a long step forward, her eyes skittish, “Upstairs? Alone?”  
  
  
Tara’s brow furrowed in a strange look directed at Willow.  
  
  
“He got the train up to help Lily pack for Julliard. He’s going to take some of it back for her.”  
  
  
“That’s… decent of him,” Willow said evenly.  
  
  
She made a step away but Tara caught her arm.  
  
  
“Um, excuse me,” she said, pulling her toward the kitchen, “You’re not exempt from washing your hands either.”  
  
  
Willow gave Tara a slow and purposeful eye roll.  
  
  
“You know, we haven’t had a pandemic in years.”  
  
  
“You know, germs don’t pay attention to calendars,” Tara replied as she kissed the top of Willow’s ear and pushed her gently toward the sink, “How did the interviews go?”  
  
  
Willow made a face as she washed her hands under the faucet.  
  
  
“Maybe not a pandemic-level disaster but definitely small-earthquake level. Nobody died but still leaves a mess.”  
  
  
Tara deflated slightly.  
  
  
“That bad?”  
  
  
“Exhausting,” Willow replied and for a moment her eyes betrayed just that, “But it made me realize a lot.”  
  
  
Tara perked up again.  
  
  
“It did?”  
  
  
Willow flicked the water from her fingertips and turned back to Tara.  
  
  
“I don’t want there to be a manager for the store,” she said and exhaled a long breath, “ want to be the manager of the store.”  
  
  
Tara’s hands cupped her mouth and then moved down over her heart.  
  
  
“Oh, I was hoping you’d say that.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyebrows lifted in surprise.  
  
  
“You were?” she asked as those brows furrowed again quickly, “Why didn’t you say something?”  
  
  
Tara wrapped her hands around both of Willow’s upper arms.  
  
  
“It’s your baby. I wanted you to feel it was right.”  
  
  
Willow’s face softened.  
  
  
“I mean, that’s the whole point, right? To have something to do that I really love to fill my days,” she said softly, then winked, “Can’t stay home and bang you all day as much as I’d like.”  
  
  
She rubbed Tara’s waist and leaned up for a soft, sweet kiss.  
  
  
Tara nuzzled Willow’s nose gently, ignoring the 'bang' jibe.  
  
  
“I’m so glad you’re going to take the job on.”  
  
  
“I couldn't be so hands-off when the store is so close by. I'd drive another manager crazy,” Willow noted with a small laugh, “And Marla is sending one of her guys down to help with the opening. Emily picked out two great employees and I have feelers out for a good bartender and a good chef.”  
  
  
Tara kissed Willow again.  
  
  
“I’m so proud of you.”  
  
  
Willow allowed herself to fall into a hug.  
  
  
“Something else kinda big happened,” she said as she nestled inside Tara’s embrace, “I hired Emily as my assistant manager.”  
  
  
Tara pulled away from Willow to look at her quizzically. Willow had a look of slight awe which was a delight to see.  
  
  
“Tara, she was amazing. She organized everything and she has all these great ideas. I’m really excited about it.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes shone with hope.  
  
  
“You understand…”  
  
  
Willow cut Tara off with a nod.  
  
  
“That I’m taking a risk, yes. But I really believe in her,” she said, gently pulling at the ends of Tara’s shirt, “And I don’t think she was having much luck elsewhere.”  
  
  
Tara frowned.  
  
  
“Oh, she never answered how things went at school.”  
  
  
Willow lifted her thumb up and dropped it again.  
  
  
“Thumbs up for being a student, thumbs down for being an employee.”  
  
  
Tara nodded in understanding.  
  
  
“Well, at least the most important thing succeeded.”  
  
  
“Definitely,” Willow agreed.  
  
  
They hugged again for a moment until there was the distinct sound of footsteps on the stairs.  
  
  
“I hear the hungry hoofs of children,” Willow whispered with mock-terror.  
  
  
“Mom, did you make extra garlic bread?” Lily screeched from the hall, “I need to carbo-load from all that packing.”  
  
  
Tara quickly moved over to the ovens and used tongs to transfer all of the garlic bread into the waiting basket.  
  
  
“Just as I promised,” she said as she held the basket out for Lily.  
  
  
Lily took a slice and started to walk away. Tara called her back, exasperated.  
  
  
“Take the whole basket, please.”  
  
  
Lily did an exaggerated sigh and took the whole basket into the dining room.  
  
  
“You know how I was nervous about her going off to college all on her own?” Willow asked with a fake chipper, “Totally ready for it. Can she go tomorrow?”  
  
  
Tara put a hand on Willow’s upper arm and squeezed.  
  
  
Together they got dinner on the table and even managed to get some food on their plates without getting stabbed by Lily’s fork.  
  
  
After dinner, Willow spied Emmett ready to head back upstairs with Lily. She looked uneasy and leaned over to Tara.  
  
  
“Are we really okay with him sleeping over?” she asked with a deep frown, “The last time was an emergency and I only partly trust that he didn’t sneak down or more likely, Lily sneaked up.”  
  
  
Tara arched an eyebrow at Willow.  
  
  
“Have you seriously not gotten the memo?”  
  
  
Willow’s face slowly fell.  
  
  
“There was a memo?” she asked in a small voice, “Why wasn't I CC’d?”  
  
  
Tara clasped her arm over Willow’s shoulder.  
  
  
“Willow, Emmett is gay.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes slowly widened. She pushed herself away from Tara and threw her arms up.  
  
  
“Hallelujah!” she exclaimed and hurried out to wrap a surprised Emmett in a hug, “Stay over anytime. Do you need a copy of the agenda?”  
  
  
Emmett looked alarmed but didn’t reject the hug.  
  
  
“Umm… thanks.”  
  
  
Willow started to move upstairs and Tara placed a gentle hand on Emmett’s back.  
  
  
“Don't worry. She's been making that joke for years. Be glad she didn't mention a toaster oven.”  
  
  
Willow’s head suddenly turned around.  
  
  
“Hey does this mean Lily gets a toaster oven?” she asked, utterly delighted with both her jokes and the situation, “I won't have to buy her one for school!”  
  
  
Lily looked at Tara with pained, derisive eyes.  
  
  
“That’s your wife.”  
  
  
Tara just smiled and watched Willow’s butt pounce away with a proud tilt of her chin.  
  
  
“That’s my wife.”


	18. Chapter 18

“Oh, hello, there, gentle viewers. You caught me catching up on an old favorite. It's wonderful to get lost in a story, isn't it? Adventure and heroics and discovery — don't they just take you away? Come with me now, if you will, gentle viewers. Join me on a new voyage of the mind. A little tale I like to call: Bibliosima, Bringer of Books.”  
  
  
A fair-haired man cocked his head at the old-fashioned camcorder he had directed at himself.  
  
  
“And wine if you’re into that kind of thing.”  
  
  
From the other side of the newly-furnished bookstore, Tara watched him unsurely and looked over at Willow.  
  
  
“Do you even know him?”  
  
  
Willow looked up and followed Tara’s eye line.  
  
  
“Andrew?” she questioned and shrugged, “I went to school with his brother.”  
  
  
“You went to school with his brother?” Tara asked with a sharply arched, disbelieving eyebrow, “Either their father had a second family when his first was grown or this Andrew bathes in vampire blood. He looks like a kid.”  
  
  
“I have a great skincare routine,” Andrew popped up from nowhere, making both Willow and Tara jump, “And you really don’t remember me?”  
  
  
Willow stalled awkwardly.  
  
  
“Uhh…”  
  
  
Andrew pouted.  
  
  
“I summoned the monkeys that attacked the high school? During the school play, you know?”  
  
  
Tara looked utterly bewildered.  
  
  
“I-I’m sorry?”  
  
  
“They weren’t real monkeys,” Willow clarified quickly.  
  
  
Andrew put his hands on his hips.  
  
  
“Well apparently flying monkeys aren’t real and you have to have a lot of permits to have real monkeys so sea monkeys were the best I could do, okay?”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes were permanently wide.  
  
  
“You…unleashed sea monkeys during a school play?” she asked slowly, looking between him and Willow, “Why?”  
  
  
Andrew rolled his eyes and looked away.  
  
  
“The brother let a pack of wild dogs loose at the prom,” Willow whispered to Tara, “Real Remus complex over here.”  
  
  
She chuckled awkwardly and patted Andrew’s back.  
  
  
“How is Tucker doing?”   
  
  
“In jail,” Tucker answered flatly.  
  
  
Willow nodded once.  
  
  
“That tracks.”  
  
  
Tara put her hand on Willow’s arm affectionately.  
  
  
“No wonder you wanted to move as far away as possible,” she said and offered a soft smile to Willow’s pained one. She bit her lip for a moment, then couldn’t help but ask, “What was the actual outcome of the sea monkey incident?”  
  
  
“The floor got wet,” Willow answered plainly.  
  
  
“The floor AND the two leads,” Andrew amended haughtily.  
  
  
“Kind of made it more romantic,” Willow nodded.  
  
  
Andrew tossed a hand up dramatically.  
  
  
“Oh, whatever,” he scoffed, “It doesn’t even matter. I'm faster, stronger, and 82% more manly than the last time we—”  
  
  
Suddenly he fumbled with the camera in his hands and in his attempts to save it, grabbed right at Willow’s chest.  
  
  
Willow’s eyebrows flew up in alarm.  
  
  
“Hey! Bad touching!”  
  
  
Andrew managed to disengage from the bad touching while still saving his camera.  
  
  
“Sorry, boss.”  
  
  
“Why are you recording anyway?” Willow asked, folding her arms protectively across her chest.  
  
  
“Posterity,” Andrew answered with a real smile, “There’s no film school in Sunnydale but there’s a place filled with stories where I can get lost any time I want. I’m proud to be involved with this place and I want to remember.”  
  
  
Tara smiled and patted both Andrew and Willow on their shoulders and walked away to help Emily do the final check on the organization of the books on the shelves.  
  
  
“Thank you for coming to help us with all of this,” Willow said to Andrew with a sincere nod, “Are you sure we can’t put you up in a hotel?”  
  
  
Andrew nodded easily.  
  
  
“My aunt lives out here. It’s nice to see her.”  
  
  
Willow let her arms drop.  
  
  
“Oh yeah, I forgot you guys were raised by your aunt.”  
  
  
“Oh, not that one. She’s in jail too,” Andrew shook his head with a wide-eyed shake of his head, “This one is on the good side of my family, my dad’s. Her name is Julia.”  
  
  
Willow began to nod, then cocked her head.  
  
  
“Wait, is she an OB/GYN?”  
  
  
Andrew’s brow furrowed but he smiled.  
  
  
“Yeah. How did you know?”  
  
  
Very quickly it was all hands on deck as the minutes to opening time ticked closer together. It had been a real labor of love to get this place kitted out and staff hired and contracts formed to pull the store together so quickly but Willow couldn’t be prouder.  
  
  
It wasn’t a carbon copy of the store in Sunnydale; it had a bit more of an upmarket feel in the bar area but there was still a beanbag nook and a library section of old and battered books and everything else that had been so important to Willow growing up.  
  
  
And even more importantly, those things had been improved upon. Emily had suggested they have a section to highlight writers of color and that they start to book author events; something the Sunnydale store had never had quite the gravitas or appeal for visiting writers to put on their schedule.  
  
  
Truly, Willow had never seen Emily more engaged and she had never felt more proud.  
  
  
Suddenly there was a crash. Willow’s hands balled by her sides.  
  
  
“Lily! Stop stacking the books!”  
  
  
“Never!” Lily called back, “I almost had an Eiffel Tower!”  
  
  
Willow stomped off in Lily’s direction.  
  
  
“This stopped being cute when you were six!”  
  
  
In the window display, Peter handed Emily a replica first edition of Anna Karenina and smiled.  
  
  
“Willow said you recommended me. Thanks.”  
  
  
Emily smiled back shyly.  
  
  
“Your middle name really sold it. She’s a big Harry Potter fan.”  
  
  
Peter chuckled.  
  
  
“Oh, it’s not a Harry Potter reference. And it’s not my middle name, it’s my first last name,” he paused and frowned at himself, “Does that make sense? It’s my mom’s last name.”  
  
  
Emily nodded.  
  
  
“Right, I’m a double-barrel too,” she explained then looked over her shoulder and leaned into Peter, “But don’t tell her that.”  
  
  
Peter’s eyes flicked over to Willow reprimanding Lily and back to Emily softly.  
  
  
“If it helps I’m a HP fan too. Hufflepuff all the way.”  
  
  
Emily looked down for a moment, then revealed a yellow and black wristband on her arm.  
  
  
“Me too.”  
  
  
“Yeah?” Peter smiled easily.  
  
  
Emily nodded seriously.  
  
  
“My Momma made us all go through a sorting hat ceremony when we were twelve.”  
  
  
Peter laughed. Emily smiled.   
  
  
“I wonder what Andrew is?” Peter asked nonchalantly as he handed Emily the last book for the display, “I should go see if he needs some help.”  
  
  
In the backroom, Tara was struggling with the price-label maker. Willow had bought a fancy digital one and Tara had no idea why; it just made a simple task all the more work.  
  
  
“Need a hand?” a voice asked and Tara looked up to see Audrey standing a bit awkwardly in front of her.  
  
  
“Oh, thank you,” Tara gratefully handed it over, “You know, this whole owning a store business was much easier when we were two thousand miles away.”  
  
  
Audrey started labeling things with ease; a simple flick of her wrist.  
  
  
“I worked at a convenience store in Chittenango when I was in high school. Everything back there was done by hand — labeling, price checks, the books. Everything. The first time I was handed one of these was like Christmas morning.”  
  
  
Tara smiled softly.  
  
  
“It’s good to know we have someone with such experience in retail. Do you enjoy it?”  
  
  
“I’ve turned my hand to everything over the years,” Audrey replied, then quickly straightened up, “I mean, of course, I have a passion for helping the customer and expanding the business.”  
  
  
“That’s great,” Tara replied easily, “But you can be candid. It’s always been important to me that we looked after our workers, being given the great privilege to have workers in the first place.”  
  
  
Audrey continued to quietly price a set of jigsaws.  
  
  
“I take what I can get. We’ve moved around a lot,” she admitted with a quick nod of her head, “The last place I was in was awful. All of the agencies see that I didn’t get a college degree or even attend a college now and they put me at the bottom of the pile. I was surprised to get a new listing email from the website. I’d honestly forgotten I’d even signed up. Most people putting out open calls are for jobs I don't judge but also have no interest applying for, if you know what I mean.”  
  
  
“We’re glad you applied,” Tara smiled kindly, “Is your son coming in today?”  
  
  
Audrey raised an eyebrow.  
  
  
“Can he? He adores reading.”  
  
  
“Willow would love nothing more than to see this place filled with kids reading,” Tara replied fondly, “And me too. As long as he’s not disruptive and stays out of the bar, it’s no problem for him to hang out here.”  
  
  
Audrey swallowed deeply.  
  
  
“It can be so hard to find childcare sometimes.”  
  
  
“I can imagine,” Tara replied sympathetically, “Are you okay to finish up this intake?”  
  
  
“Absolutely,” Audrey replied with new vigor, “Everything will be good to go at showtime. I promise you that.”  
  
  
Tara heard more narration and went back into the store to make sure Willow wasn’t throttling Andrew. Instead, she found Willow bashfully batting away the camera as Andrew bigged her up as the boss. Tara was quickly dragged into this. She should have known Willow, their family photo-taker, would get sucked up in that kind of thing.  
  
  
After lunch, Tara dragged Willow home to get changed for the opening, knowing Willow would nervously cycle through many outfits before picking one, despite reassuring Tara the night before that she had it all under control.   
  
  
Sure enough, Tara’s head moved like she was watching a game of Pong as Willow ran between the dresser and the closet.  
  
  
“The purple or the blue?”  
  
  
“I liked the yellow,” Tara answered honestly and this was apparently not a helpful answer.  
  
  
“Who am I, Pikachu?! Oh, look at me, I’m the boss even though I’m not even a higher evolved Pokémon!”  
  
  
Tara withheld a sigh as she held her own neck in her hand.  
  
  
“Willow, darling. You look gorgeous in everything. Wear the blue. You love the blue.”  
  
  
Willow held the blue shirt against her  
body.  
  
  
“I do like the blue.”  
  
  
“Wear the blue,” Tara advised gently, “You’ll be stunning.”  
  
  
Willow continued to check herself out in the mirror, so Tara stood up from the bed and slowly slid her hands down Willow’s hips.  
  
  
Willow’s eyelids fluttered closed as Tara kissed her neck.  
  
  
“You’ve done such an amazing job,” Tara whispered softly, “The team you’ve built and the way you’ve brought the whole place together in such a short amount of time. I’m so proud of you. Of you and Emily.”  
  
  
Willow smiled and took a first real breath in a while. She swayed with Tara softly for a few moments and when she opened her eyes, she got dressed silently.  
  
  
In the blue.  
  
  
When they got back to the store all of the staff had changed into their uniforms and somehow the place looked even cleaner than when they’d left it (pretty darn clean). Willow went to see Javi, the bartender, to get the cocktail samples started for when they officially opened in less than an hour. Gus, the chef, was already working on the canapés and the additional servers Willow had hired for the night were getting debriefed by Emily as to where and who to serve to avoid any catastrophic incidences against the precious books.  
  
  
Tara had Willow her off to do her boss thing as this truly was her baby. Though Willow asked for her input all the time on some of her decision-making and Tara was treated with the due respect owed as a co-owner, Tara was quite happy to blend into the background and just soak up the atmosphere. Instead, she’d wandered over to pull some blinds and let some light into the dark shadows.  
  
  
As she did so, she spotted a young blond-haired boy with glasses nestled in a beanbag with a book in his hands. He looked up at her unsurely. He couldn’t have been more than four but his quizzical eyes showed off his precociousness.  
  
  
Tara bent down and smiled.  
  
  
“Hi. I’m Tara.”  
  
  
“I’m Toby,” Toby replied, pushing his glasses up his face.  
  
  
“Hi Toby,” Tara said and nodded at his hands, “Did you pick out a book?”  
  
  
Toby showed the cover and Tara recognized it as a popular series from when her girls were young.  
  
  
“Great choice.”  
  
  
She stood back up and Audrey was quickly by her side.  
  
  
“He’s going before the party starts, don’t worry.”  
  
  
“I want to stay for the party,” Toby complained with a sigh and a deep furrow of discontent in his brow.  
  
  
Tara arched an eyebrow at him.  
  
  
“What if I promise to send your mom home with some cake?”  
  
  
Toby’s eyes narrowed.  
  
  
“And the book?”  
  
  
“Toby!” Audrey exclaimed.  
  
  
Tara just chuckled and extended her hand down.  
  
  
“You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Toby.”  
  
  
Toby shook it with a single, satisfied nod and went back to his book.  
  
  
“Thank you,” Audrey said quietly with blushing cheeks, “You can take the book out of my wages, obviously.”  
  
  
Tara put her hand on the back of Audrey’s shoulder and patted it.  
  
  
“We hope to do a lot better here for our staff than just a free book.”  
  
  
Audrey blinked several times before finally bending down to her son.  
  
  
“Hey, Tobes? You know how I always tell you one day we’ll find out where we’re meant to be?” she said with a quiet smile, “I think we just have.”  
  
  
She kissed his head.  
  
  
“Come on, buddy, time for you to skadoodle. Stacy is picking you up.”  
  
  
It was just in time too because the last half-hour was chaos, even with all of their pre-planning. The servers weren’t used to weaving around bookcases and one table was found to be wobbly and an incident involving a whole tray of Tequila Mockingbirds ending up on the floor ended in some frantic scrubbing, but finally, they were ready to officially open those front doors.  
  
  
There was a crowd outside beyond their friends and family; local bibliophiles excited to see the rarity of a book shop opening its doors and some local press who were probably only here for the free drinks but would nonetheless give free publicity, which Willow thought was a pretty good trade.  
  
  
As long as they liked it, anyway.  
  
  
Before opening the doors, she held her hand out for Tara, but Tara demurely pushed Emily in front instead.   
  
  
Emily looked awkward but Willow smiled and took her hand.   
  
  
Together they opened the door to the waiting crowd.  
  


* * *

  
It was a long but very, very successful evening.  
  
  
Potential customers were snagged by Emily offering them a money-off rewards system and Willow made sure the press never had an empty glass in their hands. The ladies and some of the gentlemen were impressed with Javi’s bartending skills (and how he looked doing it) and Gus hit it out of the park with his canapés. Not one server bumped into a bookcase and both Peter and Audrey were courteous and professional and actually seemed to really enjoy the atmosphere.  
  
  
All the staff was flaked out in the backroom enjoying the last round of Tequila Mockingbirds. Emily offered hers to Audrey. Audrey politely rebuffed it.  
  
  
“I’m not 21 yet,” she explained, “Don’t want to get anyone in trouble.”  
  
  
Emily’s eyes widened.  
  
  
“You look older,” she replied without thinking, then blushed. “Sorry, that was rude.”  
  
  
Audrey waved it off.  
  
  
“Girls like us, we have to grow up fast.”  
  
  
The lines on Emily’s brow slowly flattened as she put together everything Audrey was saying.  
  
  
“I had a baby when I was 15,” Audrey filled in the blank, “So if you ever need anybody to talk to…”  
  
  
Emily swallowed deeply. Even surrounded by all of the others, she suddenly felt seen in a way she’d struggled to up to now.  
  
  
“I feel like I’ve aged 10 years in the last six months.”  
  
  
“You probably have,” Audrey nodded and Emily’s face softened with validation.  
  
  
Willow caught Andrew on his way from the bathroom and hugged him.  
  
  
“You were amazing tonight. We never would have gotten through all those little kinks if you hadn’t known exactly what to do with the register or the coffee machine.”  
  
  
“I may have delayed with the coffee machine just to watch Javi more,” Andrew admitted, then realized who he was talking to, “Ha. Jokes. Got you, boss.”  
  
  
He weakly punched Willow’s arm, but she didn’t acknowledge it.  
  
  
“Oh, Andrew, I hope you don’t mind me asking something personal—”   
  
  
“My aunt has seen your hoo-ha,” Andrew tossed a hand in the air and it was obvious he’d had a Tequila Mockingbird or two already, “We’re practically family.”  
  
  
“O…kay,” Willow brushed it off quickly, “Do you have a partner?”  
  
  
Andrew pouted.  
  
  
“There was a fake geek boy I had my digital eyes on but I don’t think it’s going to work out.”  
  
  
Willow arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“Would you consider a longer stint out east with us? I need someone who really knows the ins and outs of this business and they only one with more experience than you is Marla, who I know isn’t leaving California for anything,” she said, then quickly added on, “Just a trial…for now. See how it works out.”  
  
  
Andrew's lips slowly curled out in either direction.  
  
  
“Sounds like you’re offering me an all-expenses-paid trip to New York City!”  
  
  
Willow tempered the mood with her hands.  
  
  
“A some-expenses paid relocation package to _upstate_ New York on a trial basis, yes.”   
  
  
“I’ll take it,” Andrew tapped his fingertips against each other, “Can I ask you…?”  
  
  
Willow braced herself but Andrew’s head just cocked toward the window,  
  
  
“Who did the fine work on replacing that window sash? You can't even tell it's new, it blends in so well…”  
  
  
Willow frowned in confusion.  
  
  
“My friend Xander. He was here earlier,” she explained slowly, “Big arms, big smile?”  
  
  
Andrew’s cheeks blushed.  
  
  
“He's extraordinary.”  
  
  
Willow grimaced.  
  
  
“You and his wife are going to butt heads,” she said and patted his back, “I’m going to find _my_ wife.”  
  
  
She left Andrew sitting on the windowsill and rubbing his hand up and down it.  
  
  
It took Willow on a loop around the store but she finally found Tara sitting on a stool alone in the empty kitchen.  
  
  
“I found you!” she said, throwing up her arms.  
  
  
“You found me!” Tara replied with as much goofy enthusiasm as she held up a little pastry, “Snagging the leftovers.”  
  
  
Willow gave Tara a long hug, then pulled up a stool. Tara left a quick kiss on Willow’s cheek as she pulled up a pew.  
  
  
“You’re a rockstar.”  
  
  
Willow leaned her head on Tara’s shoulder.  
  
  
“I couldn’t be a star without my rock.”  
  
  
Tara rubbed Willow’s hair affectionately.  
  
  
“Are you excited?”  
  
  
Willow nodded against Tara’s shoulder.  
  
  
“I really am.”  
  
  
“You’ll be amazing,” Tara said with utter conviction.  
  
  
Willow looked up and smiled easily.  
  
  
“I meant to go home with you.”  
  
  
Tara smiled in the same way and they stayed there sharing beet blinis and chickpea crostinis until their bed beckoned.  
  
  
And when it did, two creaky bodies slept in sound silence with smiles never leaving their faces.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you never had the misfortune of watching Glee, a lot of this chapter probably won't make sense. If you did happen to be a Gleek, I'm also sorry.

“Jeez bro, straighten your tie. You’re getting _married_.”  
  
  
JJ turned away from the mirror to face Robyn’s holo.  
  
  
“Just because you think you look so hot in your tux.”  
  
  
Robyn’s flickering image slicked her hair back and she adjusted her dickie bow.  
  
  
“I do. And do you know how freakin’ hard it is to get a tuxedo in a woman’s cut delivered to the middle of the rainforest?! The first three drone delivery bots got speared down!”  
  
  
“You could have just come home,” JJ mumbled as he fixed his tie.  
  
  
Robyn sighed; clear regret in her eyes.  
  
  
“Believe me, I tried but if I left now I wouldn’t be able to offset my carbon footprint in time to—” she paused as an unholy screech suddenly ripped through the room, “…is there a wild animal in your room?”  
  
  
JJ rolled his eyes.  
  
  
“Momma’s crying in the bathroom.”  
  
  
Robyn’s face scrunched.  
  
  
“Why?”  
  
  
“MY BABY BOY IS GETTING MARRIED!” Willow’s voice suddenly wailed loud enough to ring throughout the whole hotel room.  
  
  
“Oh boy,” Robyn grimaced, “Now I’m glad I couldn’t get there early.”   
  
  
JJ presented his tie back to Robyn, who closed her eyes and shook her head.  
  
  
“Bro, no.”  
  
  
JJ looked down at his neck and frowned.  
  
  
“Hey have you told them—”  
  
  
Suddenly the bathroom door opened and Tara strode out, looking frazzled. She smiled, pained.  
  
  
“Do you think your wife-to-be would mind lending us her make-up artist for a few minutes? Your mother needs a… a…touch-up.”  
  
  
“She can probably hear the screeching from down the hall and would be glad to make it stop,” JJ murmured right as Kayden walked back in the room carrying a boutonnière.  
  
  
Tara cupped his cheek and smiled between him and JJ.  
  
  
“My boys look so handsome.”   
  
  
“Thanks for the inclusivity, Mom!” Robyn called sarcastically as Tara slipped out of the room, “Kayden, please do me a solid and fix our brother’s tie. My non-corporeal fingers are twitching.”  
  
  
Tara made her way down the hall to the hotel room where Cleo was getting ready with her moms and grandmothers. An older woman let her in, whom Tara had already been introduced to as Santana’s grandmother, Alma. She looked old and fierce.  
  
  
The make-up artist was finished with Cleo but Santana was checking over her work. Brittany was looking out the window and smiling.  
  
  
“The sun is responding to the anti-rain dance I did on the roof.”  
  
  
“I’m glad, Mom,” Cleo called over, “I know you were worried when the hotel manager asked you to stop before you were finished.”  
  
  
She paused.  
  
  
“And made you put your clothes back on.”  
  
  
“Nice day, nice venue,” Santana clicked her tongue, “We had to get married in a barn in rural North-East Indiana because gay marriage was illegal in Ohio but legal in Indiana.”   
  
  
She arched an eyebrow   
  
  
“You, my girl, are privileged.”  
  
  
“It was a high-end barn wedding,” Brittany added proudly, “I was born in that barn.”  
  
  
“I thought I was pooping,” Brittany’s mother, whom Tara was pretty sure she was introduced to as ‘Whitney’’ said in a low drawl, “Pooped out my little miracle.”  
  
  
Whitney reached out and pinched Brittany’s cheek, who blushed and smiled.  
  
  
Alma made the sign of the cross on her head and body.  
  
  
“I’m just glad this one is marrying a boy.”  
  
  
“Abuela, please,” Santana called over, then suddenly turned ramrod straight when someone’s phone went off, “Do I hear a chicken? I specifically stated there were to be no chickens at this wedding!”  
  
  
“It’s a ringtone, Mami, jeez,” Cleo responded, her fake eyelashes flicking quickly.  
  
  
“I didn’t even kill that chicken,” Brittany said in a quiet voice.  
  
  
Sensing there would never be an appropriate time to slip into the conversation, Tara made her move.  
  
  
“Hi. Can we borrow Hayley for a few minutes?” she paused and swallowed when nobody really paid any attention to her, “Willow has a…smudged mascara situation going on.”  
  
  
“Weak,” Santana scoffed.  
  
  
Brittany stood up helpfully.  
  
  
“Does she want to go over the seating chart with me? I made it going by the Dewy Decimal system.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes creased gratefully.  
  
  
“I actually think she’d really like that.”  
  
  
Brittany linked arms with Tara and they walked out of the room with Hayley behind them. Brittany leaned over conspiringly.  
  
  
“I’m glad your family is Jewish. The broken glass is extra good luck.”  
  
  
Tara frowned unsurely.  
  
  
“Thanks?”  
  
  
Once Santana approved of Cleo’s make-up, she leaned back with her hands on her hips.  
  
  
“You know that weddings bring out the Godfather in me,” she said with two arched eyebrows, “And it is my daughter’s wedding day. What can I do for you?”  
  
  
Cleo stood and put her hands on Santana’s shoulders.  
  
  
“My whole life, you’ve given me anything I’ve ever wished for and cut any bitch who got in my way,” she said with an affectionate smile, “Today, I just want you to enjoy all of this.”  
  
  
Santana took each of Cleo’s hands and kissed her palm.  
  
  
“Mi corazoncita,” she said and smirked, “I’m singing a song at your entrance.”  
  
  
Cleo let out a low chuckle.  
  
  
“Knew that was coming,” she said and walked over to her grandmother Maribel, who was Santana's mother, who gave her a folded sheet from her pocket, “Here’s a pre-approved list of songs.”  
  
  
Santana cast a cursory glance over the list, then hugged Cleo.  
  
  
“My girl,” she said with her eyes closed, “ _You_ are not a work in progress. That boy better know he is getting the best Pierez there is and that I will personally hunt him down and stab his junk off with my pointy-toed heels if he ever hurts you.”  
  
  
Cleo nodded quickly.  
  
  
“Yes, he remembers you telling him that at Thanksgiving, don’t worry.”  
  
  
In JJ’s hotel room, Willow was calmer as her make-up was reapplied and she and Brittany discussed the Fibonacci sequence in nature.  
  
  
JJ was still standing at the mirror, this time psyching himself up by throwing and dodging punches.  
  
  
“Dude you’ll sweat through your suit,” Robyn scoffed, then her image flickered as she made a sudden movement, “Hey! If I was really there, you would have hit me!”  
  
  
“Break it up,” Kayden stood between JJ and the holo, “You want a whiskey, Jake?”  
  
  
“No, he doesn’t,” Tara came over with an arched eyebrow, “JJ, are you okay?”  
  
  
“Peachy,” JJ replied, his shoulders tense.  
  
  
Tara curled her finger and beckoned JJ over to sit with her on the bed.  
  
  
“Sweetie, are you having cold feet? That’s completely normal.”  
  
  
JJ gulped as he gazed down at the floor, his feet tapping against the ugly carpet.  
  
  
“Is it?”  
  
  
“Yes,” Tara reassured emphatically, “This is a very big step, a big change in your life. Being nervous doesn’t mean you’re not also excited. Remember all those basketball finals, college applications, interviews? You wanted them but you were still nervous. Not just of messing up but the uncertainty of what it would mean if you were successful.”  
  
  
JJ slowly looked up to Tara and smiled.  
  
  
“Those things all worked out great.”  
  
  
“Because you knew in your heart it was right,” Tara poked JJ above his boutonnière, “That girl loves you. I’ve watched you grow together as a couple and I couldn’t be more proud of the husband I know you’re going to be.”  
  
  
JJ swallowed softly and wrapped his arms around Tara.  
  
  
“Thanks, Mom.”  
  
  
Tara fixed JJ’s tie one last time.  
  
  
“Are you ready to go get married?”  
  
  
JJ smiled and jumped up, full of energy.  
  
  
“Let’s go get married!”  
  
  
Willow burst into fresh tears, which Hayley expertly dabbed away.  
  
  
“Don’t forget me!” Robyn called and Kayden doubled back to bring the phone with him.  
  
  
Across the street in the little private park that held JJ and Cleo’s apartment building behind it, Lily and Emily were directing guests to their seats in their matching dusty rose, floor-length chiffon dresses. The maid of honor was running point for Cleo, getting her whatever she needed or wanted whilst getting ready, so this job solely fell to the twins.  
  
  
In the New York summer heat, it was all getting a bit much for Emily.  
  
  
“Fatah goo I akai,” Lily said to her in their twin speak which roughly translated to ‘sit down, idiot’.  
  
  
Emily cast an annoyed furtive glance in her sister’s direction but did sit on one of the white foldable chairs they’d spent the morning setting up.  
  
  
At the top of the grass aisle, Xander was setting up a chuppah, in the same style as the one he’d built for Willow and Tara’s vow renewal. Brittany’s father was helping him, though ‘help’ was a strong word given he’d initially tried to set it up upside down.  
  
  
“Ahn!” Xander called out, grateful for the reason to stop for a moment when he saw his wife and kids arrive.  
  
  
“I love this city! So much shopping! So much wealth!” Anya exclaimed excitedly, “Xander, we should buy a place here.”  
  
  
“Sure, hun,” Xander forced a smile, “Next time we win the lottery, okay?”  
  
  
He fist-bumped Alex and wrapped his arms around Pixie.  
  
  
“You got here! I’ve missed you. This John Hopskins fellow sees you more than I do.”  
  
  
“It’s Johns Hopkins, Dad,” Pixie rolled her eyes and swished her pink hair, “I only left a couple of months ago. I’m not like Alex who just wanted to sit around your basement all summer during college.”  
  
  
“Hey, sometimes I stood,” Alex defended himself, “Once I even did a sit-up.”  
  
  
“It’s a long-established Harris tradition to lounge around your parents’ basement,” Xander nodded seriously.  
  
  
“Mr. Sander?” Pierce, Brittany’s father, called over politely, “That wasn’t a water gun, was it?”  
  
  
Xander looked over and his eyes popped when he saw Pierce’s head glued to a wooden column.  
  
  
Slowly the park started to fill up with guests from both sides of the family. Jesse arrived with Alice and Ella, who was thrilled to see Pixie and they went off to take selfies together. Becky and Brian found good seats in the corner where they could giggle at the other guests if the whim arose.  
  
  
Buffy arrived with Liam, who was awkwardly adjusting his tie every few seconds.  
  
  
“Stop fidgeting, slayer.”  
  
  
“It’s so tight, Mom,” Liam complained, “Where’s Dad?”  
  
  
“He’s coming in the back entrance with the trees,” Buffy explained, “You know he likes the shade.”  
  
  
Finally on the Rosenberg-Maclay side, Michelle and Rose clutched each other as they slowly made their way into the park. Rose, a bit more affected with arthritis and the slower of the two, took a seat next to Emily. She patted Emily’s leg.  
  
  
“How are you feeling, sweetheart?”  
  
  
“Hot,” Emily admitted.  
  
  
Rose looked into her bag and produced a reusable water bottle. Emily took it gratefully.  
  
  
“Thanks, Nana,” she said as she took a long glug.  
  
  
“You can’t take as many pills as I have to and not carry water,” Rose chuckled.  
  
  
Emily wiped her mouth and handed the bottle back before casting a quick look around nervously.  
  
  
“Um, where’s Zayde?”  
  
  
“Gone up to give one of his requisite ‘man’ speeches to the groom,” Rose smiled wryly.  
  
  
“Oh,” Emily nodded evenly, “That’s going to take a while…”  
  
  
Santana and Brittany left their daughter with her grandmothers to do the final preening so that they could make sure their stage was set for their duet.  
  
  
Suddenly, they both felt a shiver on the backs of their necks and spun around to see Sue Sylvester standing there as if she’d corporealized from nowhere.  
  
  
Sue nodded at each of them once.  
  
  
“Sandbags. Tweedle Dumb. How nice of you not to invite me.”  
  
  
Santana’s eyes narrowed.  
  
  
“How did you even hear about this?”  
  
  
“Friends in low places,” Sue’s voice boomed around them like the waves from a bomb, “Places you haven’t even heard of. Places you don’t have the clearance to even hear about. Places—”  
  
  
“We told her,” a higher-toned male voice cut in, “Ran into each other at Whole Foods.”   
  
  
“Their avocado ice-cream is the dairy-free delight I never knew I needed,” Sue said with the kind of conviction usually only reserved for declarations of love or war.  
  
  
“Kurt,” Santana made an effort to kiss his cheek and then did the same to the man standing beside him, “Blaine. It’s not even a fifth year. I have Klaine overload already.”  
  
  
“We missed you too, Santana,” Kurt replied with a sarcastic crease of his eyes.  
  
  
The boys kissed Brittany hello and gave the requisite congratulations.  
  
  
“How’s the kid?” Santana asked, tipping her chin at the other couple and motioned up and down with her hand, “Did she survive the cluster-crap of parenting that is this?”  
  
  
“Following in her father’s footsteps, actually,” Kurt replied haughtily and smiled proudly at Blaine.  
  
  
“Having appropriately lady lips?” Santa asked with her eyebrows high on her brow.  
  
  
“Leading the a Capella group at NYU,” Kurt clarified, his eyes twitching to withhold a role, “I’m so sorry Burt couldn’t be here. He and Carole are vacationing in Europe.”  
  
  
Brittany blinked twice.  
  
  
“I’m sorry, who?”  
  
  
Kurt’s jaw tensed.  
  
  
“Burt Hummel.”  
  
  
Brittany glanced at Santana and back at Kurt.  
  
  
“Who is that?”  
  
  
“My father,” Kurt all but stamped his foot, “He married us…”   
  
  
His eyes widened.  
  
  
“And held our joint twentieth wedding anniversary party for us? Sent us all on that cruise?”  
  
  
Recognition sparked in Brittany’s eyes.  
  
  
“Oh, was he the guy with the hat?”  
  
  
“That’s the ship captain,” Blaine explained and put his hand on Kurt’s arm to calm him down, “Is Rachel coming?”  
  
  
Santana rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“The Yentl Hobbit couldn’t make it. Probably accepting another Tony award or something.”  
  
  
“We just saw her—” Blaine started to say before Kurt promptly stomped on his foot and they both limped away to find seats.  
  
  
Santana turned back to Sue, who had been observing all of this in silence.  
  
  
“I hope you’re loaded with another month-long, all-expenses-paid trip to the Bahamas.”  
  
  
Sue held up a lofty hand with an envelope between her fingers.  
  
  
“Like fine wine, I only get better with age,” she said as she thrust the envelope at them, “Two months.”  
  
  
Santana threw her arms around Sue and Brittany followed.  
  
  
“We always loved you, Sue, even when we hated you,” Santana said with glee.  
  
  
Sue puffed her chest out and rose a whole inch in her stature.  
  
  
“Well, Faberry was a total bust so I guess now I’ll get my ship fodder from Cleo and…what’s the kid’s name?”  
  
  
“Caleb,” Brittany answered with a quick nod.  
  
  
“It’s actually Jacob,” Santa added, “But he has to earn being called by his real name.”  
  
  
Sue looked off importantly for a moment.  
  
  
“Jacoo,” she settled on, finally, “And I j'accuse them of making me run behind time. I have a very important golden knob I’ve planned to shine this afternoon. Jeb never even noticed his was replaced with brass.”  
  
  
She walked off, chuckling and Brittany turned to Santana with wide eyes.  
  
  
“Santana, they can’t go on vacation for two months, they’re moving next week.”  
  
  
“And that’s why we don’t even have to tell them about it,” Santana smirked and stuffed the envelope down her chest, “Hawaii is out, this year we do Christmas on Paradise Island.”  
  
  
Brittany’s face lit up and she leaned in to press a kiss to Santana’s lips.  
  
  
“I’m standing on my Paradise Island right now, here with you.”  
  
  
Santana swallowed and offered a rare shred of true emotion. She offered her pinky, which Brittany duly curled her own pinky around.  
  
  
“I love you, Britt-Britt.”  
  
  
She kissed Brittany’s cheek and they went back to their task.  
  
  
The groom’s party was the first to arrive when Xander had thankfully unattached Pierce from the chuppah. Robyn bossed Kayden around to find the best spot for her to project from while JJ started doing some stretches and was uncomfortably teased by Jesse that he was preparing for the wedding night.  
  
  
Finally, there was a murmur in the crowd that the bride had arrived and everyone started to settle into their places. Tara gave JJ a final once over, kissed his cheek, and winked before taking her seat with a teary-eyed Willow.  
  
  
Next to the chuppah, Santana produced a microphone and then Blaine came up with a guitar and nobody really questioned where these instruments came from.  
  
  
Santana started to sing, low and evocative.  
  
  
“I've got sunshine on a cloudy day,” she drawled seductively, “When it's cold outside I've got the month of May.”  
  
  
Brittany joined Santana on their grassy stage and their shoulders bopped in time.  
  
  
“I guess you'd say, what can make me feel this way? My girl.”   
  
  
Santana smiled sweetly at Brittany and then they both looked out at their daughter walking down the aisle.  
  
  
“My girl, my girl,” Brittany sang behind her.  
  
  
“Talkin' 'bout my girl,” Santana said with shining eyes.   
  
  
“My girl,” Brittany swooped in on Santana’s other side.  
  
  
In the front row, in pride of place, Willow clutched Tara’s arm and leaned over to whisper in her ear.  
  
  
“You sang this to me on my 20th birthday.”  
  
  
“I remember,” Tara whispered back, and together they listened and watched the young girl they’d grown to love over the years taking her final steps to become their daughter.  
  
  
“As long as I can talk about my girl…” Santana and Brittany finished together softly and came over to kiss Cleo’s cheeks.  
  
  
“I love you so much,” Cleo whispered to them and similar sentiments were quietly exchanged throughout all of the families looking on.  
  
  
JJ’s grin split his face as he watched Cleo walk up in her figure-hugging lacy white dress and he felt that twitch in his legs that made him want to run but only with complete and utter joy.  
  
  
When she got to the chuppah, Pierce started touching Brittany’s face and gently pulled at her forehead.  
  
  
“Pap-Pap, I’m not wearing a veil,” Cleo whispered and Pierce nodded slowly, then stepped aside.  
  
  
Cleo stepped up by JJ’s side and smiled at him. JJ’s heart fluttered and he rose up on the tip of his toes. As he landed back down, he glanced over his shoulder and swallowed deeply.  
  
  
“Uh, babe?” he asked quietly, “Why is the former President at our wedding?”  
  
  
Cleo gave the same glance back and leaned over to JJ.  
  
  
“She coached my Moms at cheerleading in high school.”  
  
  
“Cool, cool,” JJ nodded quickly with sweat breaking out on his brow, “Cool, cool, cool, cool.”  
  
  
Cleo patted JJ’s arm and frowned at the nearest wooden column to her.  
  
  
“Is that hair?”  
  
  
Ira cleared his throat and stepped up onto the chuppah.  
  
  
“You may be wondering why there’s no officiant here today,” he said with a mischievous twitch of his mustache, “Well, there is. Me.”  
  
  
He closed his hands together and swung them humbly in front of him.  
  
  
“Jacob and Cleo asked me to perform their ceremony and I feel the greatest honor to do so. To introduce myself, I am Jacob’s grandfather—” he paused as Pierce smiled at him disarmingly and crawled into the spot beside him, “Oh. Hi.”  
  
  
JJ leaned in to whisper.  
  
  
“Kinda had to ask both grandfathers, Gramps.”   
  
  
“Oh,” Ira replied, startled, “Oh, well. Of course. Would you like to say something, Mr. Pierce?”  
  
  
The short, Chinese man bumped Ira’s elbow as he tried to step forward with a big grin on his face.  
  
  
“Hello. My name's Pierce Pierce. And I'm Cleo's grandfather,” he announced before he ducked down and picked something up from behind him, “This time I brought the toaster.”  
  
  
Holding the appliance between both arms, he continued to speak.  
  
  
“I thought the happiest day of my life was the day my Brittany married her Santana.”   
  
  
In the front row, Brittany and Santana’s pinkies linked and Brittany leaned her head onto Santana’s shoulder.  
  
  
His brow sweating from the weight of the toaster, Pierce’s grin became somewhat strained.  
  
  
“But then Cleo was born. And the hospital had tater tots that day. And they were the greatest tater tots I’ve ever had.”  
  
  
A tear left Pierce’s eye and Cleo touched his shoulder.  
  
  
“Put the toaster down, Pap-Pap.”  
  
  
Pierce dropped with a heavy grunt, then jumped back up again, rosy-cheeked. He smiled at Cleo.  
  
  
“You were smart to do this outside. Can have all the candles you want,” his eyes softened, “I’m glad you got that from your Mom.”  
  
  
Cleo rubbed Pierce’s arm and mouthed ‘I love you’.  
  
  
“To close,” Pierce continued with a serious nod of his head, “Candles aren’t the only concern. Also, beware of falcons.”  
  
  
He bowed and held up his hands to wave.  
  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
  
There was an uncertain clap amongst the crowd and Ira’s eyes skirted from side to side as he retook his place.  
  
  
“Yes, well, that was…quite lovely. Thank you, Pierce.”  
  
  
He cleared his throat and looked back at JJ and Cleo.  
  
  
“The day my grandson came into my life, a new kind of love shone in my eye. A love I’d never known. I saw my legacy in this small boy and I’ve watched him grown into his own. And what a fine job of it he’s making.”  
  
  
He patted JJ’s back, who looked pleased as punch. Ira looked back at Cleo.  
  
  
“Cleo, the day you walked into my grandson’s life, a new love shone in his eye. And it has never been replaced. And I know that it will never be replaced. As a man who found his true love late in life, I am overjoyed that you found yours so young. May you enjoy every day you spend walking this earth together and may your legacy be that of love.”  
  
  
Cleo beamed and Ira cleared his throat.  
  
  
“I believe Jacob would like to say his vows first.”  
  
  
JJ turned to Cleo and cleared his throat in the exact same manner.  
  
  
“I write for a living but don’t know how I can put ‘offside’ or ‘technical foul’ into my vows, so this was harder than I thought,” he admitted to a small chuckle from the crowd as he pulled out a piece of paper from his breast pocket, “I promise to love you always and to cherish you forever. I promise to respect you, to be honest with you. To support any and all of your goals and to be with you always. I promise to confide in you and to listen when you want to confide in me and to grow with you throughout our marriage. I give you my mind, body, and soul on this and every other day for the rest of our lives.”  
  
  
He nodded once with a smile, pleased he pulled it off.  
  
  
Tara arched an eyebrow and looked over to Willow, who was already giving her the same look back.  
  
  
Cleo held JJ’s gaze and swallowed softly.  
  
  
“Jacob James — your two names that mean the same thing, as you like to tell everyone at every party we ever go to.”  
  
  
JJ blushed but was grinning from ear-to-ear.  
  
  
“We were in a rush!” Willow whispered aggressively to Tara, who waved her off.  
  
  
Cleo took JJ’s hands.  
  
  
“We met on a beach in Hawaii and fell in love in the various parts of New York state we ran off to, to see each other—oof, sorry to all the moms involved for that period of our relationship.”   
  
  
There was another chuckle and knowing looks between all four moms.  
  
  
“We grew from being kids right here in this city and now we’re going off to be adults and own a home and maybe a new dog if you get your way. Which you probably will, because those dimples, boy…”  
  
  
JJ showed them off, just for her.  
  
  
“We’re both lucky to have had amazing families. And now we — we get to be our own family. And that to me is the most amazing adventure. And if it was a choose-your-own, I’d choose you, every time. ‘Cause you’re my guy. You always will be. And now I get to call you my husband too.”  
  
  
She squeezed JJ’s hands, whose toes turned inward with delight.  
  
  
“May I have the rings?” Ira asked and Cleo’s best friend and maid-of-honor produced the box and gave it to Ira, before falling back in line with Lily and Emily.  
  
  
Cleo took the bigger of the rings and slid it onto JJ’s finger, smirking as she surprised him with more words.  
  
  
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for your love is better than wine.”  
  
  
Ira’s eyes lit up excitedly and he all but clapped like a little girl. JJ laughed loudly.  
  
  
“You think you’re the only one who can quote the Torah? I went to temple…sometimes,” he said, puffing his chest but meaning every word as he slid the second, “Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your life.”  
  
  
“Oh, well yes,” Ira balked a little but didn’t let it deter him, “It is my honor to pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss and seal your union.”  
  
  
JJ took Cleo’s face in his hands and landed a kiss right on her lips. He pulled back with a smile, then raised his foot and smashed some glass hidden a cloth at the foot of the chuppah.  
  
  
“Mazal Tov!” came from the crowd.  
  
  
“Shalom!” Buffy shouted, followed by the sound of a long groan, “Every. Frickin’. Time.”  
  
  
“Mommy you said a bad word!” Liam’s giggly voice followed through the park and started a chain reaction of laughter.  
  
  
Everyone stood and cheered and Kayden stepped over Robyn’s holograph projector to cut her off when she started complaining about the environmental impact of the confetti.  
  
  
JJ and Cleo walked arm-in-arm back down their grass aisle with matching grins. Cleo bumped JJ’s shoulder.  
  
  
“Babe, your vows were amazing! You had me thinking you were going to read out the Burger King menu!”  
  
  
JJ waved to all of the people patting him on the back and spoke to Cleo out of the corner of his mouth.  
  
  
“I cheated and watched my parents wedding video last night.”  
  
  
Cleo’s eyes grew incredulously wide.  
  
  
“You stole your vows from your parents?”  
  
  
She tapped his chest with her bouquet. JJ held up a hand defensively.  
  
  
“Be lucky I stole them from my Mom…if I’d taken them from my Momma there would have been nothing at   
all!”  
  
  
Cleo could only smile. She leaned her head on his shoulder.  
  
  
“Thanks for letting my Pap-Pap speak.”  
  
  
JJ smiled adoringly.  
  
  
“It’s really cute that you call him Pap-Pap.”  
  
  
Cleo blushed.  
  
  
“Yeah, there was a pronunciation issue with Pop-Pop.”  
  
  
“You couldn’t say it?” JJ asked, his nose scrunching affectionately.  
  
  
Cleo shook his head.  
  
  
“No, he couldn’t.”  
  
  
Suddenly there was the sound of whirring motors and a massive gust of wind as a helicopter flew low overhead.  
  
  
A black ladder was thrown down and a girl with Down’s Syndrome looked over, her blonde hair falling into the front of her red-rimmed glasses.  
  
  
“Sue get your butt up here right now. We’re late!”  
  
  
Sue casually grabbed hold of the ladder and she started to be rolled back up.  
  
  
“Not my damn fault the Lo-Pierce’s could never keep time.”  
  
  
Willow shielded herself from the gust of air produced by the departing helicopter and shouted over to Tara.  
  
  
“I’m high, right?” she asked, her eyes narrowing, “They used some funky mascara and now I’m high?”  
  
  
Santana stood up on the chuppah again to address everybody.  
  
  
“Now that Sue has made herself the center of every important moment in our lives—”  
  
  
“She delivered me,” Cleo supplied helpfully.   
  
  
“—everybody can make their way to the hotel,” Santana continued, “The bride and groom will join us after photos.”  
  
  
She adjusted her hair.  
  
  
“Can somebody hold my razor blades?”  
  
  
The two families hung back to do the photoshoot while everyone else headed onto the champagne reception.  
  
  
Before Alma went off, she caught Cleo’s hand.  
  
  
“You’ll get really married with a priest, yes?”  
  
  
“Sure, Abuela,” Cleo just smiled. She could worry about that another time.  
  
  
Alma arched a harsh eyebrow.  
  
  
“And wait for your covenant to be sealed before engaging in the pleasures of marriage?”  
  
  
Cleo opened her mouth and closed it again.  
  
  
“Okay,” she nodded quickly.  
  
  
There was a priest who hung around Times Square who’d give them a blessing for five bucks.  
  
  
He’d taken over from the cowboy and only wore underwear, but Alma didn’t need to know that.  
  
  
There was a rotation of family members to get pictures amongst the trees and other greenery until finally just Cleo and JJ were needed under the chuppah.  
  
  
Brittany walked past, holding her phone.  
  
  
“Lord Tubbington The Third is Facetiming me.”  
  
  
“Aww, what happened to the second?” Willow asked sadly and arched an eyebrow, “And the first for that matter?”  
  
  
Brittany had already gone off to make kissy faces at her phone but thankfully Cleo was still close enough to supply an answer.  
  
  
“Chronic chonk and developed a dairy allergy that didn’t fit in with his lifestyle or career. And number two gave birth to the third.”  
  
  
“So she’s Lady Tubbington?” Willow quipped.  
  
  
Cleo shook her head.  
  
  
“She started out that way but they preferred not to label themselves. They told my Mom in a dream.”  
  
  
“Babe,” JJ called and Cleo lifted her dress to hurry over.  
  
  
“Monarchical hierarchies are cool but gender definition is out of the question,” Willow muttered sarcastically.  
  
  
Tara smirked.  
  
  
“Surely Willow you understand given the community we inhabit that anyone can be a Queen.”  
  
  
Willow held her hands up.  
  
  
“Anyone can be whoever they want.”  
  
  
“It’s not about being who they want,” Tara reasoned softly, “It’s about being who they are.”  
  
  
Willow folded her arms on her chest.  
  
  
“You know we’re talking about a cat, right?”  
  
  
“Oh I know all about you and the pussies,” Tara replied, reaching down to tickle the back of Willow’s knee.  
  
  
“Quit it,” Willow giggled and twisted herself away, then winked, “At least until later.”  
  
  
Tara offered her hand.  
  
  
“Let’s go toast to our new daughter.”  
  
  
Willow nodded slowly.  
  
  
“I need some champagne too — what did we just marry into?”  
  
  
“Behave,” Tara warned.  
  
  
“I thought you didn’t like it when I did that,” Willow said, then leaned in to press a soft kiss on Tara’s cheek.  
  
  
Tara nuzzled gently and lowered her voice so just Willow could hear her.  
  
  
“Talkin’ bout my girl…”  
  
  
Willow rubbed Tara’s knee and they shared a quiet moment amongst the bananas things going on around them.  
  
  
The hotel banquet room was laid out in soft purples and whites and when Willow and Tara arrived, champagne was offered immediately. They found their table and looked across the room where a lot of the bride’s family were gathered with tambourines and guitars as they tried to out-harmonize each other.  
  
  
As far as Willow was aware, Cleo couldn’t even sing so she had no idea how she came from these people.  
  
  
“Where are they? They should have finished photos ages ago.”  
  
  
“Probably doing what we were doing after our photos,” Tara mused with a soft grin.  
  
  
Willow pursed her lips and gently bumped Tara’s shoulder.  
  
  
“Hopefully not for too long. I can only handle one grandchild at a time.”  
  
  
Tara was pretty sure that was the first time she heard Willow acknowledge the baby as her grandchild. She squeezed Willow’s hand gently.  
  
  
“Are you okay now?”  
  
  
Willow slowly nodded.  
  
  
“I think so. I’m so proud of him. Even if he did steal your vows.”  
  
  
“He did, didn’t he?” Tara rolled her eyes and smiled, “That boy.”  
  
  
“Our boy,” Willow finished softly.  
  
  
Their heads leaned into each other.  
  
  
Eventually, JJ and Cleo appeared to applause and they basked in it as they walked to the top table. Tara rubbed JJ’s arm as they passed and he stopped to pull her into a split second hug before they continued.  
  
  
Tara heard a sniffle and wrapped her arm around Willow before she had a chance to burst into full-blown tears.  
  
  
Dinner was family-style just as it had always been for both of the newly-married couple growing up and contained their favorites; tacos, fried chicken, breadsticks, fondue, and for some reason there was a Slushee machine.  
  
  
When the meal was finished and the thankfully short-but-witty speeches were made by Cleo’s maid-of-honor and Kayden and Robyn pulling off a double act spoken word bit, the MC announced it was time for the first dance and started to play John Legend’s ‘All Of Me.’  
  
  
He handed the microphone over to JJ, who cleared his throat and caused some feedback that everyone winced at.  
  
  
“Sorry. Uh, we’re both so thankful for the parents we’ve had and want to honor how they always put us first,” he said and smiled across the room, “So we’d like our moms to take our first dance with us.”  
  
  
Tara put her hand on her heart and then smiled at Willow and held it out to her.  
  
  
Willow smiled, took it and they walked to the dancefloor to flank JJ and Cleo with Brittany and Santana on the other side.  
  
  
Willow closed her eyes and it could have been her own wedding again, but for that song wasn’t out yet.  
  
  
But Tara still felt the same and smelled the same and had the same lightness in her step.  
  
  
Willow opened her eyes and realized Tara was even more beautiful now than she was on that day.  
  
  
Years had only added to her allure.  
  
  
Tara was looking back at Willow with the same adoration and the same thoughts.  
  
  
Together they floated around the dancefloor with their son and his new wife and knew that _their_ legacy was already that of love.


	20. Chapter 20

“Lily, how do you possibly have this much stuff?!”  
  
  
Lily flung another bag into the trunk of the car.  
  
  
“Sorry that I have to move MY ENTIRE LIFE four hundred miles away to pursue MY EDUCATION!”  
  
  
Tara came out to the driveway and strode quickly over.  
  
  
“Can you two stop yelling on the street like a pack of feral dogs?”  
  
  
“Dogs don’t yell,” Lily sneered.  
  
  
“Don’t speak to your mother like that!” Willow said angrily, then glanced at Tara, “But she’s right. ‘Bark’ was right there for you to take.”  
  
  
Lily shook her head.  
  
  
“Wasted opportunity, Mom.”  
  
  
Tara folded her arms across her chest.  
  
  
“Well, at least you agree on that. Quieten down.”  
  
  
It wasn’t often that Tara demanded something rather than ask, so they both clamped their mouths shut. When she was out of sight, Willow spoke to Lily again, albeit quieter.   
  
  
“You’re making your mother drive to the city just to accommodate all of this stuff. It’s going to take _hours_.”  
  
  
“ _You’re_ not even dropping your daughter off at college just so you can go to work,” Lily retorted petulantly.  
  
  
Willow’s eyes immediately softened. She put her hand on Lily’s shoulder.  
  
  
“Panda…”  
  
  
She stepped toward her.  
  
  
“Do you know how proud I am of you?”  
  
  
Lily looked up unsurely.  
  
  
“Do you know how much of a terror you were when you were little?” Willow asked with raised brows.  
  
  
Lily scowled.  
  
  
“Great pep talk, Momma.”  
  
  
She started to walk away but Willow pulled her back.  
  
  
“Stop,” she said, keeping a gentle grip on Lily’s arm, “What I mean is, you had so much going on in that brain of yours and it came out in such destructive ways. You told me once when you were three that you hated yourself. You were three!”  
  
  
She paused, choked up. Lily’s eyes softened.  
  
  
“My point is,” Willow continued after clearing her throat, “That you overcame huge obstacles from the moment you were born. And you did it all while pulling your sister up behind you. I can only imagine the kind of wonder you’re going to unleash on the world and I can’t wait to be there waving my moral support flag the whole way.”  
  
  
Lily swallowed and smiled softly.  
  
  
“Do you want me to come with you?” Willow asked sincerely, “I’m sure Andrew can handle the author event.”  
  
  
Lily shook her head.  
  
  
“No way, you’ll make Dad jokes and embarrass me in front of my new roommate,” she said, eyes widening, “Plus I’d have to sit in the back. I just wanted you to _want_ to come.”  
  
  
Willow shook her head.  
  
  
“Where did we get you, huh?”  
  
  
Lily just smiled and bent down to toss a bag into the trunk.  
  
  
“Last one!”  
  
  
She went off smiling again and Willow closed the trunk.  
  
  
Lily went upstairs to do one last check of her room and found Emily sitting sadly on Lily’s bed.  
  
  
Lily walked over and sat delicately next to her.  
  
  
“I’m afraid I’m going to pop you.”  
  
  
Emily seemed surprised that Lily was there at all. She blinked twice and rounded her palm over her belly.  
  
  
“I have another month to go.”  
  
  
“Thank god I’ll have an excuse to come back,” Lily ‘joked’, then continued seriously, “You think I could mail my laundry back?”  
  
  
Emily just smiled.  
  
  
“So…you all packed?”  
  
  
“Just about,” Lily nodded, a little hollow, “Wish I could pack you with me.”  
  
  
Her voice caught and she looked over vulnerably.  
  
  
“I don’t think I know how to sleep without you.”  
  
  
They embraced silently. Their bond transcended words and sometimes that was a blessing. There was a mutual silent exchange that said something akin to ‘you’ve got this’ but so much more.  
  
  
When they parted there were tears in their eyes but they both smiled.   
  
  
“Salami twins forever?” Lily asked and held up her pinky.  
  
  
Emily linked it with her pinky finger.  
  
  
“And always.”  
  
  
They hugged again, then stood holding hands as they walked downstairs where Tara was coming in from the driveway.  
  
  
“Ready to go, Lily-pad?”  
  
  
Lily looked at Emily and squeezed her hand. Emily silently nodded, smiled, and let go. She took a step back and though she knew it was the biggest step ever put between them she also knew that she and Lily had never been closer.  
  
  
Lily nodded that she was ready and Willow came over to hug her.  
  
  
“You’re my favorite first-born twin,” she whispered and kissed Lily’s cheek.  
  
  
Lily’s eyes landed softly on Willow.  
  
  
“You’re my favorite Momma,” she admitted and rolled her eyes at herself, “But don’t let it get to your head.”  
  
  
Willow smiled wryly.  
  
  
“Are you going to terrorize New York City?”  
  
  
“Would you expect anything less?” Lily arched a cocky eyebrow.  
  
  
Willow shook her head.  
  
  
“Go change the world.”  
  
  
Lily picked up her purse and looked at Tara.  
  
  
“Ready.”  
  
  
She walked out without looking back and Tara smiled at Willow.  
  
  
“It’ll be late tonight before I’m home so don’t wait up.”  
  
  
Willow kissed Tara’s cheek.  
  
  
“I’ll go to bed but I’ll still wait up.”  
  
  
Tara returned the kiss and went to the car, where Lily was already sitting in the driver’s seat. Tara opened her mouth to protest, then just sighed softly and got in the driver’s seat. Lily _had_ proven she was a better driver in the last few months and had even aced her Driver’s Ed class.  
  
  
“Sweet,” Lily whispered under breath that she’d gotten away with it.  
  
  
Tara settled in her seat and belted up, checking it twice. They pulled out onto the road and Tara smiled pleasantly.  
  
  
“Do you want to play a car game? What about the license plate game?”  
  
  
“Do you know what age I am?” Lily rolled her eyes and commanded TARA to play some music.  
  
  
Less than two minutes later, Lily pointed violently out the window.  
  
  
“New York!” she recognized a license plate, then started bouncing in her seat, “Toronto! Canadian plate! I get bonus points, I get bonus points!”  
  
  
At the house, Willow came back to the kitchen from the bathroom after having a brief but satisfactory cry.  
  
  
“Emmy, are you ready to head to—” she started, then bolted over to the island in concern when she saw Emily hunched over, clutching her stomach, “Sweetie, what’s wrong?”  
  
  
Emily waved a dismissive hand. Miss Kitty was at her feet, miaowing with concern.  
  
  
“It’s just more Braxton Hicks.”  
  
  
“Oh honey,” Willow comforted her by rubbing her back, “I had those with your sister, though secretly I think she was just kicking me really, really hard…”  
  
  
Emily smiled back gratefully. She could remember when Willow would barely look at her. Having this kind of comfort was very, well, comforting.  
  
  
“Then boom, boom, boom, oh hello Robbie,” Willow smiled fondly, and rolled her eyes, “Are you feeling better? Has it passed?”  
  
  
Emily nodded and stood up straighter.  
  
  
“Let’s get to the store. The author wants to pre-approve the seating plan. Apparently, she has some crazy obsessive fan who shows up to all her signings.”  
  
  
“Oy,” Willow replied, shaking her head, “Who said management was all glamour?”  
  
  
“I think nobody,” Emily replied wryly and pushed her glasses up her face.  
  
  
Willow smiled and put her hand on Emily’s lower back to aid her outside.  
  


* * *

  
“WISCONSIN!” was the last thing Tara heard yelled before an everlasting-second of swirling road signs and then a loud crack as the car hit a tree trunk.  
  
  
Tara’s neck lolled forward and lights flashed before her eyes but quickly dimmed as the scene in front of her came into view. Her head snapped to the side.  
  
  
“Lily!”   
  
  
“I’m okay, Mom,” Lily groaned, lifting her head up, “Hey, why did that tree attack your car?”  
  
  
Tara rolled her eyes and got out of the car to inspect it. There was a dent in the bumper but no smoke or anything alarming.   
  
  
Lily got out as Tara popped the hood and looked inside as if she was any help. She looked at Tara dubiously.  
  
  
“I really should have listened to Momma when she tried to teach me about this stuff.”  
  
  
Tara sighed deeply.  
  
  
“You and me both.”  
  


* * *

  
Emily walked into the break room at Biblioisima, looking for Willow who had disappeared just before opening and was now needed for a cranky customer.  
  
  
“Momma?”  
  
  
“Yeah, okay,” Willow came out from the corner, speaking on her phone, “Keep me posted. Love you too. Bye.”  
  
  
She hung up and walked over to Emily.  
  
  
“Your mother and sister were in a car accident.”  
  
  
Emily’s eyes widened in alarm.  
  
  
“What?!”  
  
  
Willow reached out and squeezed Emily’s arm.  
  
  
“They’re fine. Only hurt a tree. Robyn will be pissed but I’m relieved. They’re not too far outside the city. They’re waiting on roadside assistance to come fix up the engine so they can keep going but Mom is thinking of staying the night in Manhattan after the early start.”  
  
  
Emily jaw lightly trembled.  
  
  
“Are they really okay?”  
  
  
Willow enclosed Emily in a hug.  
  
  
“You think I wouldn’t be hopping in the car to get down there myself if I was at all concerned?” she asked and pulled back with a reassuring smile, “Thank god Lily can’t have her car in the city, that’s all I can say.”  
  
  
Emily could only nod in agreement.  
  
  
“Um, there’s an issue,” she indicated over her shoulder, “There’s a lady out there saying the beanbags are too soft for her son.”  
  
  
Willow blinked rapidly.  
  
  
“What?”  
  
  
Emily held a hand up helplessly.  
  
  
“They’re…too soft.”  
  
  
Willow pulled a whiny face.  
  
  
“I’m the manager. Can’t I pass the awkward customer stuff out on one of you?”  
  
  
Emily’s brow furrowed.  
  
  
“Um, I think that’s the exact opposite of the job description.”  
  
  
Willow pouted.  
  
  
“Who’s stupid idea was it to have me as the manager anyway?”  
  
  
“Yours,” Emily answered softly.  
  
  
“Who’s stupid idea was it to let me have ideas?” Willow grumbled.  
  
  
“You could offer to give her kid a plank of wood to sit on,” Emily replied with a slight twitch at the corner of her lips.  
  
  
Willow smiled, slowly, and then started to laugh. She cupped Emily’s cheek for a moment then let it fall as she walked toward the door, having to contain her laughter as she prepared herself for whatever kind of woman was waiting for her outside.  
  
  
Sometimes she really missed the robot room.  
  
  
More often, she was grateful to see her daughter bloom in this role and the honor of getting to witness it every day.  
  
  
Emily hung back for a moment and leaned back against the lunch table. She clutched her stomach and closed her eyes.  
  
  
“Oof.”  
  


* * *

  
Tara had her arms crossed sternly across her chest as a mechanic tooled around in her engine.  
  
  
Lily was sitting on a log with her chin in both upturned palms, pouting.  
  
  
Finally, the mechanic raised his head and closed the hood.  
  
  
“You’re clear to go, ma’am but you’ll need to take it to your own guy—”  
  
  
“Or girl,” Lily cut in petulantly.  
  
  
“—to get that front bumper looked at,” the mechanic finished without acknowledgment.  
  
  
Tara came over to shake his hand and give him a tip.  
  
  
“Thank you.”   
  
  
The mechanic nodded once.  
  
  
“No problem, ma’am,” he said cordially as he walked away, then looked back, “Maybe you should be on self-drive.”  
  
  
“Somebody should,” Tara replied and looked over to Lily sharply, who began to pull a face but thought better of it, “Get in the car, Lily. The passenger seat.”  
  
  
Lily complied silently.  
  
  
Tara got into the driver’s seat but took the advice to set the car to self-drive. They pulled back onto the road and the car was eerily silent for a few tense minutes before Tara looked over at Lily.  
  
  
“Did you fake your Driver’s Ed grade?”  
  
  
“No!” Lily replied indignantly, “Driver’s Ed don’t put trees in weird places!”  
  
  
Tara held up a hand.  
  
  
“Your driving privileges are revoked forever.”  
  
  
“What?!” Lily blew up, her mouth hanging open, “You can’t even do that!”  
  
  
Tara folded her arms back on her chest.  
  
  
“I’ll let your mother hack into the DMV and put you on a list.”  
  
  
Lily’s mouth promptly closed.  
  
  
“A list?”  
  
  
Tara’s mouth was thin.  
  
  
“They exist.”  
  
  
Lily’s jaw tensed.  
  
  
“I’ll hack back. Momma taught me everything she knows.”  
  
  
She held her chin high even though it wasn’t true. Willow had _tried_ to teach her everything she knew (as she did all of the children) but Lily only ever learned enough that she could earn spare cash for TARA programming.  
  
  
Tara held her hands out in front of her like she was choking something.  
  
  
“Oh you are so like her it is infuriating.”  
  
  
Lily all but stuck out her tongue.   
  
  
“I’m going to tell her you said that.”  
  
  
She turned her back and called for TARA to put on the radio, loud, then giggled when Tara struggled to turn it down.  
  
  
Finally, Tara just smashed the off button and dropped her head into her hands to take a long breath.  
  
  
“Lily, you’re about to go off to college. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen your sister be forced into growing up these last few months but you need to stop acting like a child.”  
  
  
“Sorry that I didn’t get myself knocked up at sixteen and figured out I don’t need you anymore,” Lily replied, rolling her eyes.  
  
  
Tara slowly frowned.  
  
  
“Lily, what are you talking about?”  
  
  
Lily averted her gaze out the window.  
  
  
The car turned itself onto the interstate and Tara reached over and gently cupped her hand over Lily’s shoulder.  
  
  
“Panda bear. Talk to me.”  
  
  
Her hand massaged the muscle around Lily’s shoulder softly until Lily slowly turned back.  
  
  
“We were supposed to be doing this together.”  
  
  
Tara’s thumb brushed the back of Lily’s neck.  
  
  
“And it’s scary to be doing it alone.”  
  
  
“No!” Lily tensed and closed her eyes, “It’s scary that _she’s_ doing it alone.”  
  
  
Tara watched the flame of Lily’s hair blend into the color of her cheeks; just as Willow’s did when she was upset.  
  
  
“She’s not alone, sweetheart. She’s with me and Momma and—”  
  
  
“And _not_ me,” Lily said in a quiet voice.  
  
  
“Honey, of course, she has you. You’re less than an hour away by train and we can holo and—” Tara started to reassure but Lily turned away again.  
  
  
“It was always ‘us’,” she whispered.   
  
  
“Maybe too much so,” Tara said gently, “You are a you and she is too.”  
  
  
Lily snickered sadly, if that were possible.  
  
  
“You’re not exactly on Dr. Suess’s level.”  
  
  
Tara withheld rolling her eyes.  
  
  
“Lily, you say you’re afraid for her to be apart from you—”   
  
  
“Because I always pulled her up!” Lily cut in, already defensive, “I made sure she got good grades and I fought off as many bullies as I could and I just make one stupid mistake by letting her go off by herself at that party, and everything was RUINED!”  
  
  
She started to hyperventilate and Tara had to take her cheeks and guide her back down into slower breathing.  
  
  
“In for four,” she said softly, “Hold for seven. Out for eight. One more, baby. In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight.”  
  
  
When Lily's breathing was regulated, she continued to cup Lily’s cheek.  
  
  
“You didn’t make a mistake. And Emily didn’t make a mistake,” she said, eyes wide and clear, “This is her chance to stop being pulled up. And for you to stop doing the pulling. This is how you be who you are. You will always be sisters. You will always be twins. But you are two people. And you both deserve the chance to embrace that.”  
  
  
Lily’s eyes filled with tears. She opened her mouth, then closed it again and buried her head into Tara’s chest. Tara stroked her hair gently and let her cry until she was just gently sniffling.  
  
  
“That kid is going to need her cool Aunt Lily,” she sniffled, wiping her tears and snot on Tara’s shirt, which Tara frowned about but made no comment about, “The rest of you aren’t going to be any help in that department.”  
  
  
Tara just patted Lily’s hair.  
  
  
“Of course, sweetie. She’ll love her Auntie Lily just as much as we all do,” she pulled back to look Lily in the eye, “And we do.”  
  
  
Lily smiled softly.  
  
  
“Duh. I’m awesome.”  
  
  
Tara kissed Lily’s forehead.  
  
  
“I’m going to get the car to find us the nearest drive-through to get some coffee and doughnuts. How does that sound?”  
  
  
Lily glanced toward the operating system.  
  
  
“Can I dr—?”  
  
  
“NO!” Tara replied sharply and Lily sat back with a pout, but a resigned one.  
  
  
The car found the appropriate exit and even pre-ordered their coffees so all they had to do was get their license plate scanned and pick their items up from the hatch.  
  
  
With some caffeine and sugar, Lily reverted to the giddy excitement of what was to come, especially when the city started to come into view.  
  
  
“This is really happening. I’m about to experience New York City.”  
  
  
Tara smiled crookedly.  
  
  
“New York City is about to experience you.”  
  
  
Lily smiled.  
  
  
It wasn’t until they were lugging all off Lily’s belongings the vast, glass buildings that Tara really wished she’d insisted Lily downsized. They had to go through multiple sets of doors, a security desk where Lily had to fish out the key-card she’d gotten in her registration pack, a bridge, a turnstile, more security, and finally into an elevator to get to the floor Lily’s dorm was on.  
  
  
“You better use every one of these Tupperwares.”  
  
  
“I will!” Lily defended.  
  
  
“Why couldn’t you just buy some here?” Tara asked as her chest heaved.  
  
  
“I like the way our ones click,” Lily replied in a quiet voice.  
  
  
Tara took the chance for a breather.  
  
  
“At least it’s safe here.”  
  
  
The dorms were quite busy, as was to be expected on moving day, and Lily’s eyes were everywhere watching her soon-to-be-classmates explore this new playground. There was a huge lounge room with a pool table and board games and plenty of means of entertainment, a giant cafeteria with any number of snacks and meals available, and the rooms were set out in suites with shared bathrooms and small kitchens.  
  
  
Lily had a double room with bunk beds, two desks, two dressers, and a closet with two sides. She dropped her stuff on arrival, nearly making Tara trip over them.  
  
  
“Check out this VIEW!” Lily said as she went up to the window and looked out over Broadway and Central Park.  
  
  
Tara came up behind her.  
  
  
“Stunning. I hope you wake up every morning and realize how lucky you are,” she said and closed her arm around Lily’s middle, “And how proud of you we are.”  
  
  
“Quit it,” Lily pushed her off, gently, but was smiling, “I know, Mom.”  
  
  
Tara chanced a kiss on Lily’s forehead and Lily didn’t rebuff.  
  
  
Lily took another view out of the window, then swung herself onto the top bunk.  
  
  
“From where I will rule my dominion,” she said with a grand gesture of waving her arm.  
  
  
Tara shook her head, a smile pulling on her lips.  
  
  
“What’s your roommate’s name again?”  
  
  
“Delilah,” Lily replied flatly, “Trombone player.”  
  
  
“Trombone _master_ ,” a voice from the doorway came as a tall, dark-skinned girl arrived with two parents behind her that could be described as nothing other than ‘Midwestern’, “And I’d ‘preciate you remembering that.”  
  
  
She walked in and surveyed the small room, her eyes landing again on Lily.  
  
  
“Yeah, that’s not happening. Top bunk is mine.”  
  
  
Lily just chuckled, low.  
  
  
“I think not, tromboner. Firsties, getsies.”  
  
  
Delilah raised her chin.  
  
  
“We’ll see.”  
  
  
“Oh, we will,” Lily grinned, rocking her legs back and forth, “I hope you like the sound of me climbing up and down because I have a tiny bladder.”  
  
  
Tara arched an eyebrow and smiled to herself.  
  
  
It seemed Lily had already found a friend.  
  
  
She introduced herself to Delilah’s parents, who seemed a lot more afraid of leaving their daughter in NYC than she was, as Lily and Delilah sparred over what was going where in the dorm.  
  
  
When it was time for Tara to leave, Lily walked Tara back outside. Tara knew it was just so they could have a minute alone in the elevator, but she kindly didn’t say anything. When Lily turned and hugged her in the small space, Tara didn’t say anything then either and just hugged her daughter back and kissed her head.  
  
  
“So proud of you, panda bear. So is Momma. She would have been here today if she could.”  
  
  
“I know,” Lily replied softly, “But who wants to drive that long with her in the car?”  
  
  
Tara tapped her fingers against Lily’s back.  
  
  
“Do not be so rude about your mother.”  
  
  
Lily pulled back and looked at Tara.  
  
  
“I’m glad it was just us.”  
  
  
She nestled her head under Tara’s chin and reveled in the precious few moments before the doors opened. Realizing she didn’t have her key card, Lily had to say goodbye to Tara at the turnstile. She was glad, not that she would ever admit it, because she felt a bit teary-eyed saying goodbye. In fact, she couldn’t even say the word and ended up just running back into the elevator before the doors closed again and waved.  
  
  
Tara waved back and smiled until every inch of that door was closed.  
  
  
She felt a little teary-eyed herself.  
  
  
She nodded at the security guard as she passed, who looked back sympathetically. She was sure he saw a lot of the same today.  
  
  
She decided not to pick up the car and just hopped into the nearest driverless to take her to the hotel Willow had booked for her earlier when she’d called to tell her about the accident.  
  
  
At the hotel, the check-in desk scanned her ID and popped out a key-card.   
  
  
Tara rode the elevator up to her floor, entered the room, crashed onto the bed, and promptly fell fast asleep.


	21. Chapter 21

Willow put the code in on the alarm at the store and stepped back to pull the security shutters down.  
  
  
Admittedly, she’d romanticized the idea of running a bookstore a little bit with lofty notions of talking with customers about all of her favorite books or watching a child discover a new world to get lost in. Of retired women sipping on a glass of wine with their latest indulgence and cultured couples tasting their vegan menu options while they discussed whether George was justified in shooting Lennie.  
  
  
Of basking in all of that as she inhaled the smell of books and fresh coffee.  
  
  
And there was, in fact, moments like that. Fleeting, usually, but there. Mixed in with the customers wanting refunds for books they’d destroyed or dishcloths being set on fire in the kitchen or the absolute nightmare it caused when even one of her meticulously timed deliveries didn’t arrive on time.  
  
  
Her staff was great, which was a major plus; a plus Willow didn’t take lightly as she imagined a manager trying to deal with all of the unforeseen issues that cropped up without the help of her staff.  
  
  
Peter was great at finding and fixing things that needed to be fixed; Audrey was fantastic with kids and holding together all of the events; Andrew just _knew_ how things worked and was able to veer them away from disaster before it got to that point and Emily — Emily was amazing. So patient and so eager to help, to impart kindness, to make sure that every person that walked through the door left smiling.   
  
  
From seeing her having shied away from any contact with people for so long, it was amazing to see her blossom in this environment and find her voice. It helped Willow find peace with the future she thought she’d seen her daughter destroy.  
  
  
Willow’s bones were weary but she was smiling as she dodged the rain to hurry back to the car. She looked forward to a long shower and an early night. It would be missing Tara-snuggles but she understood Tara not being up to the drive home after the eventful drive down.   
  
  
She let herself into the car, where Emily was waiting. She rubbed her hands together to warm up and smiled.  
  
  
“What do you think, some moo sho pork from Uncle Li’s Emporium? We won’t tell Zayde.”  
  
  
Emily shifted uncomfortably and shook her head.  
  
  
“No. I don’t think the baby wants to eat today. Can fetuses get upset stomachs? That’s what it feels like.”  
  
  
“I…don't think so, honey,” Willow replied with a frown, “You’ve been feeling blech-y all day.”  
  
  
She reached out and put her hand on Emily’s forehead.  
  
  
“No fever. Did you eat anything funky?”  
  
  
“I haven’t eaten all day,” Emily admitted.  
  
  
“Emmy,” Willow chastised softly, “That’s not good for you or the baby. Let’s stop by the deli and I’ll get you some soup and that bread you like.”  
  
  
Emily had her eyes closed but nodded softly.  
  
  
“Yeah, okay. Thanks.”  
  
  
“Buckle up,” Willow said, as she did the same.  
  
  
Emily reached across her body to take the seatbelt and when she did, she felt an odd sensation in between her thighs. She shifted to try and figure it out and suddenly a gush of fluid spread from between her legs out over the seat and onto the car floor. The front of her dress was wet and starting to stick to her skin.  
  
  
“Uh…Momma?”  
  
  
“Yeah?” Willow looked over and saw the scared look on Emily’s face, “Sweetie?”  
  
  
Emily looked down at her lap in alarm. Willow followed her eye-line.

  
“Oh!” Willow yipped in surprise, then her eyes flew up and she grabbed Emily’s arm, “Oh, Emily, your water broke!”  
  
  
Emily’s lower lip started to tremble.  
  
  
“It’s too early!”  
  
  
“No, no, it’s okay!” Willow reassured quickly as she started the car, “You were born WAY earlier than this, and look at you! Fully grown! But we gotta get you to the hospital. You gotta put your seatbelt on, okay?”  
  
  
Emily sat in stunned silence. Willow put three fingers against her cheek.  
  
  
“Emmy, listen.”  
  
  
Emily slowly turned her head. Willow stroked her cheek.  
  
  
“Emmy, everything will be okay. You’re 37 weeks. It’s safe. But Robyn came quick and you have my genes, so let’s go, okay?”  
  
  
Emily blinked twice and then the tears cleared and she quickly nodded and belted up. Willow was away in a flash and brought up Dr. Wells's number.  
  
  
“Oh, hello Willow. I hope my nephew isn’t causing too much trouble.”  
  
  
“He’s a peach,” Willow replied quickly, “Hey, uh, we have a little broken waters situation going on here. We’re on our way to the hospital.”  
  
  
“How far apart are the contractions?” Dr. Wells asked, suddenly all business.  
  
  
Emily suddenly doubled over in pain again.  
  
  
“Okay, she said she felt like that when I got in the car so…” she tried, and for once failed, to do the math in her head, “I’m guessing four minutes but maybe three!”  
  
  
“I’ll meet you at the hospital,” Dr. Wells said and signed off quickly.  
  
  
At a stoplight, Willow took Emily’s hand.  
  
  
“I’ll be there the whole way.”  
  
  
Emily looked up and new tears formed.  
  
  
Willow squeezed her hand and smiled reassuringly.  
  
  
She actually found herself…excited over this.  
  
  
She didn't even care that it had happened all over the seat of her car.  
  
  
Okay, she cared a little, but she didn't show it and she certainly made no mention of the obnoxious price Diego, her detailer, was going to charge to fix it.  
  
  
Traffic was thankfully light, as it had been since self-drive became so commonplace, and Willow stopped at the front of the ER to bring Emily inside.  
  
  
“I’m right behind you!” Willow called as Emily was brought away in a wheelchair before rushing back to bring the car to the parking lot because they still hadn’t figured out a way to get your keys back to you after a self-park.  
  
  
It was odd making her way back up to the maternity ward; remembering coming here with Tara all those years ago.  
  
  
What a horrible night that had been.  
  
  
What a horrible night this hopefully wouldn’t be.  
  
  
She knew in her mind that Emily was far enough along that there wasn’t any immediate danger and that Emily had none of the pregnancy woes Tara had. She was, in fact, far more likely to repeat Willow’s fast (and furious) birth but it was still unnerving to be running down these halls again.  
  
  
As she ran, she put her phone to her ear and frowned when she heard her wife’s voicemail.  
  
  
“Tara, baby! Call me back ASAP! Emily went into labor! We’re at the hospital and she’s okay, the baby’s okay, but she’s coming! I’ll call you back! But you call me back first! Okay, I love you. Bye. Is Lily okay?! I love you! Call me!”  
  
  
She got to the desk to find out where Emily was and when she arrived at the room, Dr. Wells was snapping gloves onto her hands and was smiling.  
  
  
“You know, this is my first second-generation baby! I hope you’ll let me hang your picture.”  
  
  
“Emmy,” Willow breathed and rushed over to her bedside, “What’s happening?”  
  
  
“We’re about to have a look,” Dr. Wells replied as she sat on a stool and wheeled herself between Emily’s legs, “Oh, you are nicely along, aren’t you? History of precipitous labor if I recall.”  
  
  
“Yeah, mine,” Willow nodded quickly, “And she’s…mine.”  
  
  
She trailed off dumbly but the doctor just smiled.  
  
  
“You’ll want Tara to get here.”  
  
  
“And the father,” a nurse said from the sidelines and received three sharp looks, “Or…not.”  
  
  
“Tara’s dropping Lily off at Julliard,” Willow replied, swallowing deeply, “I can’t get hold of her. They had a minor accident earlier. I hope everything is okay.”  
  
  
“Are Mom and Lily okay?” Emily asked, her face flooding with concern.  
  
  
“Of course,” Willow replied quickly, “Of course. I bet Lily is living it up and Mom has had an early night. Could you imagine being in the car that long with Lily? I don’t have to, I have many family road trips to recall!”  
  
  
She frowned then smiled.  
  
  
“I’ll call Lily!”  
  
  
“No!” Emily replied quickly and so loudly that it startled Lily, “S-Sorry. But no. She’ll just come back. A-and it’s her first night. She needs this.”  
  
  
Willow gulped and stroked Emily’s hair.  
  
  
“Okay, koala bear. Whatever you want.”  
  
  
Emily started to smile but then ripples of pain broke out and her head fell back against the pillows.  
  
  
“They’re getting worse.”  
  
  
“I’m here,” Willow comforted and put her hand in Emily’s to be squeezed, “I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”  
  
  
It was a long night for Emily (and Willow) but a relatively short time spent in the maternity ward before they were brought to labor and delivery. Thankfully, it was textbook and the baby was in absolutely no distress. Willow coaxed Emily through her contractions and even got her to sleep for a bit while she ran down to inhale some crappy mac’n’cheese from the cafeteria. It wasn’t even in the same stratosphere as Tara’s.  
  
  
Whom she still couldn’t reach, but it _was_ the middle of the night.  
  
  
As the medical staff refreshed gowns and gloves, Emily suddenly squeezed Willow’s hand tight.  
  
  
“Another contraction, honey?” Willow asked gently.  
  
  
Emily shook her head.  
  
  
“I-I’m scared.”  
  
  
Willow folded both of her hands over Emily’s.  
  
  
“I know. Guess what? I was too. When I was giving birth to your sister. I was terrified. Even though I wanted to meet her so much, I just wanted to close my legs and press pause so I could have a minute, y’know?”  
  
  
Emily nodded quickly.  
  
  
“So let’s take that minute,” Willow smiled with a quick nod, “You and me, together. Let’s take that minute.”  
  
  
Emily blinked rapidly, then nodded again. She leaned into Willow, who put her forehead against Emily’s.  
  
  
Together, they looked into each other’s eyes silently.  
  
  
Emily found the strength she needed.  
  
  
“Are we ready, ladies?” Dr. Wells asked with a smile when they parted.  
  
  
Willow looked to Emily, who nodded.  
  
  
“Let’s deliver this baby,” Dr. Wells grinned as she got between Emily’s legs.  
  
  
With a nurse flanking either side, she coaxed Emily through her next contraction as she started to push. Willow mopped Emily’s brow and allowed her fingers to be nearly broken and called out all of the encouragements she recalled saying to Tara, though with none of the same terror.  
  
  
“Momma, would you like to see the head?” Dr. Wells asked with an arched eyebrow.  
  
  
Willow looked to Emily for permission, who nodded shyly.  
  
  
Willow scooted down to look and felt her heart fill with all of the love she just hadn’t been able to embrace up until now.  
  
  
“S-She's so beautiful, Emmy,” Willow said with tears filling her eyes, “She has curly hair. It’s all dark blonde, like your mom before she dyed it brown. And she looks like you did when you were born. Not your sister, you. Her nose is a little squishy and her upper lip protrudes and—”  
  
  
“Push!” Dr. Wells encouraged, “Almost there, Emily, two more pushes.”   
  
  
Willow gave her hand back to Emily. Emily strained her body with everything she had and finally, with the air heavy and a hum of groaning pulsating around the room, a shrill cry broke through.  
  
  
Dr. Wells held the baby up, her little limbs flapping. Willow took in a short, sharp breath.  
  
  
“You did it! You did it! She’s here, baby, your baby is here!”  
  
  
The nurses got a blanket over Emily’s chest and as the baby was placed down, they rubbed her free of the blood and goo and wrapped her up.  
  
  
Emily's eyes were permanently wide and the rest of her face unmoving.  
  
  
“H-Hi,’ she managed eventually, “Hi.”  
  
  
She took the baby’s hand and held their palms together. The baby tried to curl her fingers so Emily brought a finger down and allowed it to curl around her.  
  
  
“Whoa.”  
  
  
“Yeah,” Willow breathed in the exact same manner, angled over Emily so she could take a good look.  
  
  
Emily laughed joyously as she took in every feature of her daughter’s face.  
  
  
“I’m your Mama,” she grinned so wide it could split her face, “I’m your Mama.”  
  
  
She raised her finger so the baby’s hand rose too.  
  
  
“And say hello to your Bubbe.”  
  
  
Willow paused. She turned to Emily, slowly.  
  
  
“Bubbe?”  
  
  
“W-Would you prefer something else?” Emily asked uncertainly.  
  
  
Tears filled Willow’s eyes.  
  
  
“No,” she shook her head and delicately traced a finger around the baby’s features, “No, I’m your Bubbe.”  
  
  
She inhaled softly and her eyelids flickered. She looked at Emily.  
  
  
“I should have understood sooner,” she said softly and swallowed again, “When Mom was trying to get pregnant, well, it took a few tries. And the one thing I kept telling myself was ‘no matter how long it takes, in the end, we’ll know it had to happen this way because that’s the only way we would have had that baby’.”  
  
  
Tears fell from her eyes.  
  
  
“And then there were two of you and I knew what I thought before couldn’t be more true,” she said with a soft cry, “I should have understood that what I felt then was what you felt now. That you knew this baby was meant to be. I shouldn’t have dismissed that feeling just because of the circumstances.”  
  
  
Her brow creased remorsefully.  
  
  
“I hope the first lesson in parenting I can impart is to apologize to you right now. Because I made a mistake in fighting this. And you will make mistakes too, of your very own. But you’ll have my support the whole way. And I’m going to start some therapy to make sure I do that for you safely. And for her. I’ve been avoiding it but it’s time. Not just to be a better Momma, but to be a better Bubbe. And to be a better Willow.”  
  
  
Emily’s eyes creased.  
  
  
“I love you, Momma.”  
  
  
Willow kissed Emily’s forehead and then the baby’s.  
  
  
“I love you both so much,” she said and nuzzled Emily’s head, “So tell me her name.”  
  
  
The early morning turned into the actual morning as Willow cut the cord and accompanied the baby to the nursery for her check-up while Emily went through the procedure for the afterbirth and getting cleaned up. She was given toast, her first thing to eat in over 24 hours, and she knew that no slice of toast would ever taste as good again.  
  
  
Carrying the baby wrapped up in a green blanket, Willow brought her back to Emily’s room.  
  
  
“Look who I have…”  
  
  
Emily looked over sharply.  
  
  
“I missed her,” she said with a gulp as she took the baby back, “Is that weird?”  
  
  
Willow shook her head.  
  
  
“Completely normal,” she promised, then grinned, “It’ll wear off when the terrible twos hit.”  
  
  
Emily smiled too. She never knew she had this kind of capacity for joy.  
  
  
Willow leaned over the bed with her arm around Emily’s shoulder and they gazed down at the baby together.  
  
  
“Momma?” Emily asked softly after several long minutes unmoving, “Can I still take you up on your cyber-stalking offer? To find Adam?”  
  
  
She swallowed.  
  
  
“For her.”  
  
  
Willow gently brushed her fingertips on Emily’s arm.  
  
  
“Is Adam her father?” she asked, just as soft and Emily nodded once, “Consider it done.”  
  
  
She kissed Emily’s head again.  
  
  
“Maybe this one will let me teach them how to code.”  
  
  
Emily laughed.  
  
  
They were in the exact same position when the door burst open a little while later and a frazzled Tara practically fell in.  
  
  
“Emily!” she exclaimed, out of breath.  
  
  
“Mom!” Emily replied with a sudden shake in her voice.  
  
  
“Tara!” Willow said, rushing over with a relieved sigh, “Where have you been?! You wouldn’t answer your phone!”  
  
  
“It was turned off!” Tara replied in annoyance, “It was a long day with Lily. I meant to get up again for dinner but I just slept right through. I didn’t even take my clothes off! When I plugged my phone in this morning I got all of your messages. I got on the earliest train I could to get here faster.”   
  
  
Willow frowned.  
  
  
“Where’s the car?”  
  
  
“Penn Station,” Tara replied with an exhale of breath.  
  
  
Willow closed her eyes.  
  
  
“Yep. Definitely paying for a 400-mile tow.”  
  
  
“Ah-hem,” Emily called over.  
  
  
Tara suddenly seemed to remember why she was standing in a hospital room. Her hands flew to her face when she saw the little bundles of green.  
  
  
“Oh my god, you had her.”  
  
  
She rushed over, where Emily delicately placed her in Tara’s arms.  
  
  
“Meet your Nana.”  
  
  
Tara’s mouth formed an ‘o’ shape as she peeled back enough of the blanket to make out her new granddaughter’s face.  
  
  
“Oh, wow. Look at you. She looks like you when you were little, Em.”  
  
  
“That’s what I said,” Willow grinned.  
  
  
Tara bounced the baby gently in her arms, looking deeply into her sleeping face.  
  
  
“Is it still Kelly?”  
  
  
Emily smiled over Tara’s shoulder at Willow.  
  
  
“No, it’s KT.”  
  
  
“Katie?” Tara repeated, smiling softly, “That’s pretty.”  
  
  
“No,” Emily replied, and annunciation more clearly, “K.T.”  
  
  
“Not after the K–T extinction like I first thought,” Willow smiled self-deprecatingly, “But for an even cooler legacy.”  
  
  
Tara arched an eyebrow in question.  
  
  
“KT,” Emily said again, a slight nervous lilt in her voice, “For Kelly Tara.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes slowly widened. Emily smiled softly.  
  
  
“Momma said you wouldn't mind?”  
  
  
Willow came behind Tara and held her waist because she knew her wife would be unsteady on her feet.  
  
  
“It's only fitting a beautiful name be passed down from beautiful woman to beautiful woman.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes filled with tears. She looked down and KT opened her baby blue eyes. Tara started to sink and Willow was there to guide her into the chair.  
  
  
“Hi KT,” Tara cooed softly, “Hi, I’m your Nana.”  
  
  
“And I’m your Bubbe,” Willow added.  
  
  
Tara’s head flew to Willow. They shared a smile and then a kiss.  
  
  
“Get used to that, KT,” Emily said and they all laughed.  
  
  
Tara looked between all three other girls in the room proudly.  
  
  
“You three share blood.”  
  
  
Willow reached out and stroked KT’s cheek, who seemed to understand the solemnity of the moment by staying quiet and basking in the love.  
  
  
“And the egg that grew her grew while you were inside Mom's belly, Em. How nuts is that?”   
  
  
They all stared reverently at the baby for a while.  
  
  
“How’s Lily?” Emily asked with some concern when KT fell back asleep.  
  
  
“Very mad at you for choosing your timing,” Tara replied with a small chuckle, “I only called her on the train, She’s coming home again this weekend, don’t worry. I had to threaten to pull her college fund just to get her to stay for her orientation.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes widened.  
  
  
“You did that?”  
  
  
Tara looked sheepish.  
  
  
“I didn’t mean it, but yes. She did say she had a great first night.”  
  
  
Their eyes all drifted back to KT and Emily took her again when she felt the empty ache in her arms. She blinked and suddenly found herself crying.  
  
  
“Moms, I love her so much.”  
  
  
Willow and Tara raised their gazes to look at each other and then at Emily.  
  
  
“We know,” they said together.  
  
  
They joined hands. Willow kissed Tara’s cheek.  
  
  
“I’ll go fill in everybody else and get some breakfast. I’ll bring some back for everyone.”  
  
  
Tara leaned in to kiss Willow properly.  
  
  
“I’m so glad you were here.”  
  
  
Willow smiled at the three of them.  
  
  
“Me too.”  
  
  
She watched Emily become so engrossed in her baby girl and her heart swelled with the new love she knew _her_ baby girl was feeling. The feeling that would never leave her, no matter what.  
  
  
She smiled again.  
  
  
“Me too.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! Check back Friday for an epilogue :)

Willow parked up on the curb and kept her hands on the wheel.  
  
  
Tight.  
  
  
This shouldn’t be this hard.  
  
  
She’d spend her entire college career studying psychology and yet here she was, afraid to go in to see her new therapist.   
  
  
It wasn’t like she’d never attended therapy before.  
  
  
She was the subject of many ‘assessments’ as a child, did plenty of peer work while in school, and had done her fair share of marriage counseling with Tara, not to mention a handful of family intervention when Lily was young and when Kayden and Robyn had been in their sessions with Dr. Carter.  
  
  
She shouldn’t feel this nervous.  
  
  
And yet she did.  
  
  
There was something about the idea of being one-on-one with another person in the room where the entire focus was on _your_ wrongs. She couldn’t deflect or hide away. She had to be present and available and vulnerable.  
  
  
It was intimate.  
  
  
And she’d never been comfortable being intimate with anyone but Tara.  
  
  
Even during couples counseling, Willow had only been able to express herself by speaking to Tara directly. The therapist had been great at forcing questions that one or both couldn’t quite verbalize and that’s what Willow was most afraid of.  
  
  
It was one thing to answer the hard questions when Tara was there beside her to hold her hand. When she knew she was bettering herself as a wife and a mother.  
  
  
It was hard for her to better herself just for her.  
  
  
It felt indulgent. Therapy to her meant to be observed and commented on and told how to fix herself but when Willow was the only ‘recipient’ it felt wasted.  
  
  
There was some cognitive dissonance, of course, because she didn’t believe Tara or the children were indulgent for going for counseling. She actively encouraged it. And she had even used the knowledge she’d gained in college to ‘psych’ Tara in their early relationship until Tara had told her how annoying it was.  
  
  
The _idea_ of therapy was great. Fantastic, even!  
  
  
But did she have to do it herself?  
  
  
The answer was, of course, yes and even needing to ask the question in the first place gave her the answer.  
  
  
She let her white knuckles fall away from the wheel and pulled the keys out. Standing on brave legs, she got out of the car, locked it, and headed towards the therapist’s office.  
  
  
She walked in and gave her name to the man at the front desk before taking a seat in the waiting room.  
  
  
She sat on a comfortable leather chair and ran her hands up and down the arms.  
  
  
First impressions were pretty good.   
  
  
The waiting room was clean, tidy. Books were available to peruse. They had a reusable water station and eclectic art on the walls; the kind that every person who looked at them would have a different opinion on.  
  
  
That was the point, she guessed.  
  
  
As she was contemplating whether a red line in a particular piece was a blood vessel or a train track, she heard her name being called in an unusual accent.  
  
  
“Willow?”  
  
  
Willow looked up and followed the sound to a door off to the side. An older man was standing there with glasses and a tweed jacket.  
  
  
Willow raised a hand and stood, then walked over. The man closed the door and extended his hand.  
  
  
“Hello, I’m Rupert Giles. It’s lovely to meet you.”  
  
  
“Willow,” Willow answered, then winced, “But you already knew that.”  
  
  
“Please, take a seat,” Giles offered, “Wherever you choose.”  
  
  
Willow didn’t really want to pick a seat. She worried about how her choice would be analyzed. Did taking the couch say she took more than she needed; did taking the desk chair mean she was rigid and unmoving?  
  
  
And what if she took _his_ chair by accident? Would he even tell her? Would they go through the whole session with him secretly annoyed at her?  
  
  
Sensing her hesitance, Giles walked them over to two opposite armchairs.  
  
  
“I find these the most comfortable to sit for a period of time.”  
  
  
Willow sat into the indicated chair gratefully.  
  
  
Giles sat opposite and crossed one leg over the other while he held a notepad in his lap.  
  
  
There was a small lull of silence but Giles didn’t let it go on for too long.  
  
  
“Would you like to share what’s brought you to making an appointment with me today?”  
  
  
“Needed a fix of the English accent between Doctor Who seasons,” Willow quipped nervously.  
  
  
Well, how about that. Willow could deflect even on her own.  
  
  
Giles offered a small smile.  
  
  
“Some have called it soothing.”  
  
  
Willow nodded but her gaze fell downward as her hands clasped between her knees.  
  
  
“I did a degree in psychology,” she announced when she couldn’t bear the silence, “It was a lifetime ago, but I did it. So this whole thing…not exactly new to it. I’ve done marital and family counseling too.”  
  
  
“Splendid,” Giles answered with an eerily direct gaze, “But that doesn’t answer my question.”  
  
  
Willow swallowed softly.  
  
  
“My sixteen-year-old daughter just had a baby,” she said and glanced down guiltily, “And I was a total asshole during her pregnancy. My girls…my girls have been a handful. And at some point, I realized all of my issues with them were coming from the same place that my mother's issues with me came from. Wanting a child that molded themselves to your expectations perfectly.”  
  
  
Her jaw set.  
  
  
“And my mother is not a nice person. I didn’t want to become her,” she rolled her eyes and threw a hand up, “I’m literally in therapy because I’m afraid of becoming my mother! So cliché.”  
  
  
“Cliches are often rooted in reality, I find,” Giles mused easily, “They had to come from somewhere.”  
  
  
Willow swallowed again.  
  
  
“She was a psychologist. My mother,” she clarified and cast a furtive glance at Giles, who was looking back with an open face and kind eyes, “It’s the only reason I did that degree. She disowned me before I graduated and we’ve only spoken once since. And I’m actually fine with that. I’ve mourned the relationship. But I think I’m realizing that I still have lingering issues about her. Even coming here today…”  
  
  
She sighed deeply.  
  
  
“When I was a kid I’d always be a subject of her papers. Any work I did, drawings, journals, anything. They’d be taken off to be analyzed. And there was _always_ a fault. I always felt guilty, like I deserved to be punished. And I was punished, with pity. But now when my kids do things that could be perceived as ‘failure’…I go back to that place. A little kid being looked down on by her own mother and wanting _anything_ to absolve myself and feel better.”  
  
  
“Do you want to be punished?” Giles asked softly.  
  
  
Willow looked up into Giles’s eyes for the first time.  
  
  
“I wanna be Willow.”  
  
  
“You are,” Giles said kindly, surely, “In the end, we all are who we are, no matter how much we may appear to have changed.”  
  
  
Willow blinked several times.  
  
  
Giles uncrossed his legs and crossed the other side.  
  
  
“Willow, I feel you might benefit from a program we offer her called tandem therapy. My wife has her practice here too and for certain clients, we feel they benefit from what is essentially a double sounding board. You could choose to see us separately or together but with your permission, we would share notes to offer you the best care. My wife specializes in deep-rooted family conflict and traditions therein so I believe you might find her input helpful. Coming from my previous career as a high school librarian I also have a certain…knowledge…of boorish mothers.”  
  
  
Willow laughed, really laughed. Her shoulders relaxed.  
  
  
“What’s her name? Your wife?”  
  
  
“Jenny,” Giles answered simply and with a smile.  
  
  
Willow matched it.  
  
  
“I’m in.”  
  


* * *

  
“Her initials are KTRM.”  
  
  
Lily rolled onto the couch from behind it and stared up at Emily holding a sleeping KT in the armchair.  
  
  
“She sounds like a radio station.”   
  
  
Emily scowled.  
  
  
“My daughter is not a radio station.”  
  
  
“Yeah, you can turn a radio station off,” Lily muttered, but the corner of her lips was tugging into a smile.  
  
  
“She needed her diaper changed,” Emily explained in exasperation, “It’s the only way she can let me know. She can’t speak yet, Lily.”  
  
  
“I’m not an idiot, Emily,” Lily retorted and stuck out her tongue.  
  
  
“Some things never change,” Willow said to Tara in the doorway as Tara approached from coming down the stairs, “No matter how they appear to have changed.”  
  
  
Tara looked at Willow curiously.  
  
  
“Therapy go well, sweetie?”  
  
  
“It did,” Willow nodded evenly, “It did.”  
  
  
JJ walked out from the kitchen, scratching his head.  
  
  
“Is there any food?”  
  
  
Willow glanced at Tara knowingly.  
  
  
“Told ya.”  
  
  
Kayden stopped taking pictures of KT to stand up.  
  
  
“I’ll go pick up some food for everyone.”  
  
  
“I’ll help,” Cleo offered from the other side of Emily and KT, “It takes one person to carry enough food just to feed JJ.”  
  
  
JJ’s chest puffed out proudly.  
  
  
“The lady knows me.”  
  
  
Cleo and Kayden organized to head out in Cleo and JJ’s car since Kayden had gotten the train in from Boston. Cleo and JJ _could_ have gotten a train too if it weren’t for the giant stuffed teddy bear that JJ had insisted on getting for his new niece. She hadn’t cried when JJ had presented it, so he took that as good a sign as any if the grin that hadn’t left his face since he walked in was anything to go by.  
  
  
“Can I hold her again?”  
  
  
“Yeah,” Emily agreed and gently passed her off, “Look it’s your Uncle JJ.”  
  
  
“We’re the two-letter-name club, kid. At least your names are actually different from each other,” JJ said as he rocked her softly, “Man, I remember holding you when you were this little. She even has your squishy face!”  
  
  
“Why do people keep saying that?” Lily and Emily said in unison, though in different tones.  
  
  
Coming in from the kitchen, Emmett brought in iced tea for everybody. Tara approached and put a hand on his arm.  
  
  
“Thanks for convincing Lily not to come home until the weekend. I know it was you who talked her down. I’m really glad you’re down there with her in New York.”  
  
  
Emmett smiled easily.  
  
  
“I love her.”  
  
  
Tara smiled and squeezed his arm.  
  
  
“Lily, tell us about school,” Willow encouraged as she poured some tea, “When do you start classes?”  
  
  
“Not ‘til next week,” Lily replied and her face lit up, “But I’ve been going to the all of the parties. The dancers are _lit_. Let me tell you about this one bitch—”  
  
  
“Lily!” every single other person in the room exclaimed at the same time.  
  
  
Lily held her hands up like she’d been shot.  
  
  
“What?!”  
  
  
“The baby,” Emily whispered.  
  
  
“I didn’t wake her,” Lily protested.  
  
  
“I think Emily would prefer her first word isn’t ‘B-I-T-C-H’,” Tara said graciously.  
  
  
Lily rolled her eyes dramatically.  
  
  
“As if we’re one of _those_ kind of families.”  
  
  
“Knock, knock!” a voice came from the front, and then Rose appeared in the doorway.  
  
  
Everyone said hello and Rose smiled at the room, then her gaze landed on the baby.  
  
  
“Oh, Emily.”  
  
  
She sat in beside JJ, who reluctantly passed her off.   
  
  
“Nana,” Emily said, sitting tenderly in the spot JJ vacated, “I figured it out. Your dream. It wasn’t Katie, it was KT.”  
  
  
Rose looked up in question. Emily smiled.  
  
  
“Kelly Tara.”  
  
  
Rose looked over to Tara, who smiled demurely. With tears in her eyes, she looked back at Emily, then down at the baby.  
  
  
“Hello KT. Hello, little one. I’m Nana Rose.”  
  
  
“Great-Nana Rose,” Willow grinned.  
  
  
“Oh hush you,” Rose laughed quietly. She touched KT’s cheek and there was a little mewing sound, “Oh, how precious.”  
  
  
Suddenly she looked up, wide-eyed.  
  
  
“Oh, I had to stop by the airport on the way here and pick up a special delivery I got for you.”  
  
  
“Is it the BARN stroller from Sweden?” Willow asked excitedly, then continued off some confused looks, “I hear those are super exclusive.”  
  
  
“It should be making its way in right now,” Rose grinned.  
  
  
“Have we got a koala cub?”  
  
  
All eyes flew to the doorway.  
  
  
“Robyn,” Tara exhaled in shock.  
  
  
“Robbie!” Willow exclaimed and they both ran over to embrace her.  
  
  
Robyn patted them both delicately.  
  
  
“Alright, alright. Hold the mom sandwich ‘til later.”  
  
  
“Robyn we didn’t think you were coming home for months,” Tara was full-on crying now.  
  
  
“What is this?” Willow flicked Robyn's new nose ring.  
  
  
“Quit it,” Robyn batted her hand away, “What can I say? I like to make an entrance.”  
  
  
JJ was up behind them to line up for a hug and they squeezed for a solid twenty seconds before letting go.  
  
  
“Missed ya, sis. You don’t even smell like ass.”  
  
  
“JJ,” Tara chided.  
  
  
“Told you,” Lily said triumphantly and swung herself up to throw her arms around Robyn, “I missed you but if you ever repeat it I’ll send everyone that picture of you eating all those hamburgers at the fourth of July—”  
  
  
“I get it,” Robyn pulled back and smirked, “I missed you too.”  
  
  
She doled out quick hugs to everyone else in the room before finally kneeling before Emily, who had KT back in her arms.   
  
  
She kissed Emily’s cheek.  
  
  
“I’m so proud of you,” she said softly and peered into the blanket, “So this is my niece.”  
  
  
“KT,” Emily said proudly, “Kelly Tara.”  
  
  
“Suck up,” Robyn grinned and Emily grinned back, so neither Tara nor Willow corrected it, “Can I get in on some of that baby smell?”  
  
  
KT looked up at Robyn as she was passed over and her cheeks blew out. Robyn beamed and leaned down to kiss KT’s nose.  
  
  
“Look at your little squishy face.”  
  
  
“Ugh,” Lily groaned into a cushion.  
  
  
Willow and Tara smiled at each other and Tara put her arm around Willow’s shoulders. This scene was more than they ever could have asked for, or expected even, or knew they wanted.  
  
  
It wasn’t long until there was another quiet knock on the open door and Ira and Michelle appeared. Ira held his hat against his chest.  
  
  
“Well, I know we were here earlier but Michelle and I were out on our evening stroll around the neighborhood and—Robyn?!”  
  
  
“Took you long enough, Ganpy,” Robyn’s tongue stuck out between her teeth.   
  
  
She gave side-hugs so she didn’t have to let go of KT.  
  
  
Minutes later, Kayden and Cleo returned home with the food and smiled knowingly at Robyn.  
  
  
“Everybody let's eat out the back,” Tara suggested when the room started to get crowded, “I have hand sanitizer in the kitchen.”  
  
  
“I’ll get the heater,” Willow suggested and went off to get it set up.  
  
  
Everyone obligingly stood and made their way into the kitchen and out through the back yard. Emily was the last to go, moving a little slower than everyone else as her body recovered, and Willow caught her gently by the arm in the hall.  
  
  
“You bring her inside if you or she needs some space. It can be overwhelming the first time you see your little baby being passed around like pass the parcel. Say you need to feed her, no one will question it. You know what our family is like, the whole lot of them will probably show up before the night is out. Yours and KT’s needs are the most important, okay?”  
  
  
Emily started to smile gratefully but Willow chuckled before she could reply.  
  
  
“Ooh, I think you do need to feed her.”  
  
  
Emily looked down at the two wet patches on the front of her shirt and blushed.  
  
  
“They keep doing that.”  
  
  
“Me too, with Robbie,” Willow recalled with a far-away look, “Once a crow squawked outside the window and these things thought she was crying.”  
  
  
She grabbed her own boobs in her hands as Tara poked her head out from the kitchen.  
  
  
“Are you telling her the crow and leaky boob story?” she asked and frowned slightly, “Your sister's cries could be quite…feral.”  
  
  
Willow nodded in agreement and smiled at Emily.  
  
  
“I'll get her for you.”  
  
  
Willow passed JJ and Cleo and Kayden bringing out silverware and dishes for everyone to eat with to wrestle the baby off whoever had her.  
  
  
Emily awkwardly tried to cover her breasts with her arms.  
  
  
“Did you have any trouble feeding us?”  
  
  
Tara puffed out a slow breath.  
  
  
“You got my milk but I had a hell of a time getting you on the breast. You just wouldn't take it until one day — you did. But it took a long time. If your sister hadn’t latched on earlier I probably would have given up.”  
  
  
Emily brow gave a gentle furrow.  
  
  
“Sorry.”  
  
  
Tara held Emily by the arms, then embraced her. Gently, given the current predicament.  
  
  
“Never apologize for doing things at your own pace.”  
  
  
Emily smiled, dropped her arms, and closed her arms loosely around Tara. She heard KT before she saw her and suddenly her breasts _ached_ like nothing else. She took the baby from Willow and let her and Tara help her with the nursing blanket which she still hadn’t quite got the hang of yet.  
  
  
Everyone stayed close in the backyard, eating over the patio table or on their laps on the garden furniture they had out there.   
  
  
Nobody else did show up, out of respect, and Emily was glad because her brain was suddenly hyper-aware of things like germs and vaccinations and her tiny baby’s tiny immune system, but every single one of her aunts and uncles and cousins holo’d in once news broke of Robyn’s return got out.  
  
  
“The prodigal daughter returns,” Willow whispered to Tara with a good-natured smile, “Have they forgotten there’s a whole new baby here?”  
  
  
“Of course not,” Tara replied softly, “They all saw her in the hospital. It’s just the surprise of it.”  
  
  
Willow took Tara’s hand and held it tight.  
  
  
“We did okay for ourselves, didn’t we?”  
  
  
Tara rested her head on Willow’s shoulder. They looked out on their family together.  
  
  
“I’d say more than okay.”  
  
  
The (great!) grandparents all left when it started to get late and Tara used the excuse of seeing them to the door to allow Emily to sneak up to bed because she looked utterly exhausted.  
  
  
In the back yard, Willow was gathering the take-out boxes.  
  
  
“Robyn, Lily was going to take your room. One of you will have to sleep on the couch. Can you fight it out without any blood loss?”  
  
  
“It’s okay, I can go crash with a friend,” Kayden offered as he stood to his full height.  
  
  
“A friend?” Lily coaxed with a grin.  
  
  
Kayden rolled his eyes and smiled.  
  
  
“Dylan.”  
  
  
Lily and Robyn both started screaming and jumping on top of Kayden, who laughed.  
  
  
“Shush, shush, you’ll wake the baby,” Tara said, having come out from the kitchen, though smiled at Kayden, “That’s great, sweetie.”  
  
  
“He really digs you,” Emmett said from his seat, “I could tell by the way he spoke about you.”  
  
  
“We’re old friends,” Kayden said, then added on shyly, “But there may be some rekindling going on…”  
  
  
“Re-canoodling, you mean,” Lily thrust her hips at Kayden and grinned, “Actually, I was going to take the basement.”  
  
  
Willow arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“The…basement? There’s nothing down there.”  
  
  
Lily held her hands out and let them splay.  
  
  
“Exactly. A blank canvas. I’ll be home some weekends and summers and Robbie is home now too. I need my own room. And the attic rooms smell like _boy_ so…no thank you. Me and Emmett can sleep up there tonight and start working on my new basement apartment tomorrow.”  
  
  
Emmett came up alongside Lily.  
  
  
“I’m seeing purple and gold.”  
  
  
Lily’s eyes lit up.  
  
  
“Royal,” she said in awed tones, then smirked, “I _am_ a Queen.”  
  
  
“Me too, honey,” Emmett replied and everybody laughed.  
  
  
Kayden called Dylan to check it was okay that he came over (it was, more than) and gave everyone hugs before setting off. Cleo and JJ offered to take on clean up so everyone brought in what they could and headed off in their own directions for bed.  
  
  
In hers and Tara’s room, Willow opened her laptop and saw there was a new email. She inhaled softly as she read it and sent it down to print.  
  
  
She got the papers and folded them into a plain white envelope and wrote four letters on it, then put it in her back pocket.  
  
  
She went back upstairs where she found Robyn leaving the bathroom.  
  
  
“Last time I peed was in a patch of orchids,” she remarked as she walked out, “I do like the nice smelling soap, though.”  
  
  
Willow caught Robyn by the elbow. Robyn turned and smiled easily. Her eyes were filled with a lot less anger than Willow had seen growing up. She was more at peace with her place in the world.  
  
  
“Are you home for good?” Willow asked softly.  
  
  
Robyn considered the question.  
  
  
“I’m home to help take care of the cub.”  
  
  
Willow nodded once, slowly. Her eyes cleared and she smiled softly.  
  
  
“When it’s time to go again, we’ll talk about how to repurpose your college fund for whatever it is you want to do.”  
  
  
Robyn shared Willow’s smile and leaned in to hug her.  
  
  
“Will I have to present a biannual spending forecast?”  
  
  
Willow chuckled.  
  
  
“At least you know how,” she said and pulled back from the hug with a curious glint in her eye, “What was that for?”  
  
  
Robyn shrugged one shoulder shyly.  
  
  
“Always being there for us,” she answered and rolled her eyes playfully, “Even when you take your time.”  
  
  
Willow gripped Robyn’s arm and swallowed deeply.  
  
  
“I never wanted anything but the best for all of you.”  
  
  
Robyn grinned triumphantly.  
  
  
“Don’t worry, Momma. I’m gonna be the best.”  
  
  
Willow chuckled.  
  
  
“I don’t doubt it.”   
  
  
Robyn smiled thoughtfully.  
  
  
“What if I did want to go to school?”  
  
  
Willow’s eyebrows rose slowly on her face.  
  
  
“…what kind of school?” she asked and found herself completely open to the idea that Robyn was about to say one of those schools that teaches orphaned orangutans how to, well, orangutan.  
  
  
“Law school?” Robyn asked with an uncharacteristic uncertainty in her voice.  
  
  
Willow tried desperately not to display even an ounce of delight because she knew her daughter and how Willow’s approval was only a deterrent.  
  
  
“I see,” she said neutrally, “Is that something you think you’d be into?”  
  
  
Robyn shrugged one shoulder with a smile.  
  
  
“If you don’t have a seat at the table, you’re probably on the menu.”  
  
  
Willow chanced a smile and pulled Robyn into a hug.  
  
  
“Goodnight, little bean.”  
  
  
“You _have_ to stop calling me that,” Robyn groaned and pushed past to go to her room.  
  
  
Willow shook her head and smiled then continued on her way to Emily and KT’s room.   
  
  
Lily had been quite magnanimous when she came home and her stuff had been turfed out to fit in a crib and other baby accessories in at the last minute. Though being far removed from the room with a screeching baby certainly helped her come to terms with it.   
  
  
The basement was a noise-proof as she could get and a few weekends licking it into shape would have it every bit as trendy as her Manhattan sky-high dorm.  
  
  
And she wouldn’t even have to deal with trombone noises.  
  
  
Willow gently rapt her knuckles on the door so as not to wake KT, who was sleeping in her crib. Emily paused from picking up some spit-up rags and onesies that had fallen to the ground earlier when she was changing KT and hadn’t had a chance to gather up yet.  
  
  
Willow pulled a white envelope out of her back pocket and placed it on the dresser.  
  
  
“For whenever you’re ready.”  
  
  
Emily glanced at it.  
  
  
The front said ‘Adam’.  
  
  
She swallowed.  
  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
  
Willow reached out and brushed the backs of her fingers on Emily’s cheek.  
  
  
“Goodnight koala bear.”  
  
  
Emily hugged Willow, who kissed her forehead. Willow leaned into the crib to kiss KT and gently ran her finger through a single curl. She smiled and headed back to hers and Tara’s room to get ready for bed.  
  
  
“What a day,” she exhaled softly as she closed the door behind her, “Our girls, huh?”  
  
  
Tara just smiled.  
  
  
“Come to bed.”  
  
  
“Yes, please,” Willow agreed, suddenly very exhausted.  
  
  
She changed into PJs and brushed her teeth and scooted into bed beside Tara.   
  
  
“I’m so glad everybody is home.”  
  
  
“Isn’t it wonderful?” Tara replied with a content sigh.  
  
  
Willow leaned in and pressed her lips to Tara’s.  
  
  
“I love you.”  
  
  
“I love you,” Tara whispered back.  
  
  
They snuggled up and Willow threw her arm around Tara’s waist. She fell asleep in seconds.  
  
  
It was more than a few seconds later that she was woken up, although that’s all it felt like. She was woken by Tara’s jostling legs at first, then she heard the distinct sound of a shrill cry.  
  
  
Willow turned her head away from the pillow.  
  
  
“We have to let her learn how to soothe her baby, just like we had to,” she mumbled when she sensed Tara about to pop up out of bed.  
  
  
Tara looked over to Willow with a frown.  
  
  
“We had each other.”  
  
  
Willow buried her head in the pillow for a moment, then lifted it with a sigh.  
  
  
“I’ll go. You have work in the morning.”  
  
  
“So do you,” Tara pointed out.  
  
  
Willow yawned as she sat up.  
  
  
“Yeah, but I'm the boss.”  
  
  
Tara arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“So am I.”  
  
  
Willow stretched her arms up above her head.  
  
  
“Yeah, well I have an office I can nap in and since you're too humble to take the office you're entitled to at work, I win.”  
  
  
She popped a kiss on Tara’s cheek, then got up before her wife could protest.  
  
  
She padded across the hall to Emily’s room but paused in the door when she saw Robyn already in there with her. Emily was swaying KT from side to side and shaking her head.  
  
  
“Moms said under no circumstances should I give her a pacifier.”  
  
  
“What do they know?” Robyn dismissed, making Willow look unamused.  
  
  
Emily shook her head again and Robyn dropped the pacifier in her hand.  
  
  
“Oh, alright,” she agreed and held her arms out to take KT.  
  
  
Emily hesitated, then handed her over and dropped onto the bed, exhausted.  
  
  
Robyn started to hum as she bounced KT.  
  
  
“Goodnight, sweetheart, well it's time to go,” Robyn sang softly, then lowered her voice, “Do-do-do-do-do.”   
  
  
Willow’s heart swelled with utter love.  
  
  
“Goodnight, sweetheart, well it's time to go,” Robyn sang again, smiling goofily as KT started to quieten, “Ba-do, ba-do.”   
  
  
She hummed as she brought KT back to her crib.  
  
  
“I hate to leave you, but I really must say…” she placed KT down as her little eyes closed, “Goodnight, sweetheart, goodnight.”   
  
  
Emily came back over and stared into the crib in disbelief.  
  
  
“How’d you get so good at this?”  
  
  
“The tribe I was staying with had a new baby,” Robyn explained with a fond smile.  
  
  
Emily turned her head to Robyn.  
  
  
“What’s that song from?”  
  
  
Robyn shrugged one shoulder.  
  
  
“I don’t know. It’s just been stuck in my head all night.”  
  
  
Willow grinned and retreated quietly.  
  
  
She would be needed again, but right now, she wasn’t.  
  
  
She got back into bed with Tara and curled up close.  
  
  
“Hey, you know our girls? All of them?” she whispered softly.  
  
  
Her hand found Tara’s under the covers and she rested their conjoined fingers over Tara’s stomach.  
  
  
“They're going to be just fine.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another end to another Confidential!Verse story. But not to fear, their story isn't _quite _over yet. Stay tuned for the concluding piece, coming next month.__
> 
> _  
> _Thanks so much to everybody who read this and has stuck with me and especially _Vazy _, _Tara_ , _kByrdz_ , _AlikAlec_ , and _Dawn250180_ who took the time to leave feedback! You don't know how much it is appreciated!___  
>  _

* * *

_**Epilogue** _   


_**Eight Years Later** _   


* * *

Tara held the car door open for Willow, who smiled softly.  
  
  
“You know that it does that itself when it feels me moving off the seat?”  
  
  
“Technology can’t replace chivalry,” Tara replied softly and offered her hand.  
  
  
Willow took it and lifted herself out of the car.  
  
  
She took a deep breath of the fresh air.  
  
  
“You okay?” Tara asked gently.  
  
  
Willow took a look ahead where there was an open grave surrounded by lots of bright green grass.  
  
  
“No,” she replied and squeezed Tara’s hand, “But I’ll survive. Talked to Jenny this morning. I’m just taking each moment as it comes.”  
  
  
“That’s my girl,” Tara whispered and pressed a kiss to Willow’s cheek.  
  
  
Behind them, more cars pulled up on the curb. In the first, JJ got out and came around to open Cleo’s door for her. Tara smiled.  
  
  
Cleo put her hand on JJ’s chest, said something as she patted there gently, and leaned up on her tiptoes to kiss him.  
  
  
Behind that, Kayden and Dylan got out of their car and both closed the button on their jackets. They joined hands as Lily and Emmett got out from the back. He put his arm around her shoulders and squeezed it.  
  
  
Finally, on three scooters, a man and a woman flanked Robyn as they rode their way into the scooter rack and parked up.  
  
  
Willow’s eyes skirted toward them all, then back at Tara.  
  
  
“What do we say to…?”  
  
  
Tara put her hand on Willow’s shoulder.  
  
  
“Have you considered speaking to them as you do any of our children's partners?”  
  
  
Willow frowned.  
  
  
“But can I make jokes?”  
  
  
“Robyn would probably prefer you didn't,” Tara replied gently, “Sweetheart don't look so uncomfortable.”  
  
  
“I'm not uncomfortable,” Willow defended, then off Tara’s look, continued, “I'm not! I may not _get_ having two partners but I'm not uncomfortable. If Robbie is happy and the partners are happy…”  
  
  
Tara rubbed Willow’s shoulder.  
  
  
“I think of it this way,” she said through a soft breath, “Robyn needs two people to handle her.”  
  
  
Willow turned to Tara, one eyebrow gently arched.  
  
  
“Now that I get.”  
  
  
Tara bit her lip to refrain from adding ‘so do you’ but didn’t think it was the time to bring up any comparison to her wife’s therapy situation.  
  
  
Emmett also raised an eyebrow as he saw Robyn approaching.  
  
  
“How does she have two boos when we can’t even find one between us?” he asked dubiously, “And we even shared!”  
  
  
“That was one time!” Lily hissed, flinging the back of her hand against Emmett’s chest, “Besides, I will be drowning in dick when I debut on Off-Broadway.”  
  
  
Emmett arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“Okay, Off-Off-Broadway,” Lily amended with a roll of her eyes, “But _you’re_ supposed to be my agent, so who’s fault is that?”  
  
  
“You gots to pay that alimony, hun,” Emmett replied, matter-of-fact, “That’s what you get for having a quickie Vegas wedding.”  
  
  
Lily crossed her arms over her chest.  
  
  
“That’s what I get for letting Delilah ply me with cheap caipirinhas. And _please_ don’t talk about my first ex-husband when I’m still trying to find the second,” she replied with a dramatic, far-off stare, “At least KT likes my songs. The daughter I’ll never have to have.”  
  
  
Emmett nodded agreeably.  
  
  
“She loves that one where you make fun of your Momma.”  
  
  
Lily held the back of her hand against her forehead dramatically.  
  
  
“A top made all of fuzzy fur/Sometimes it’s hard to believe I come from her/She jokes as though she thinks she’s funny…” her head tilted back and she glanced sideways, “Oh honey.”  
  
  
Emmett smiled, then reined it in.  
  
  
“This whole conversation is so wildly inappropriate.”  
  
  
“And completely in earshot,” Willow’s voice called from mere feet away.  
  
  
Lily and Emmett both squirmed awkwardly.  
  
  
“Sorry Momma,” Lily said, stuffing her hands into her pockets, “You didn’t hear that thing about the d—”  
  
  
“Lily, not today,” Tara cut her off softly.  
  
  
She and Willow hugged the kids and they all walked over to the end of the cemetery where Emily was already waiting. There were more hugs and Willow glanced around.  
  
  
“Where’s KT?”  
  
  
“Adam is bringing her,” Emily explained, checking the time quickly, “He’ll be here any second. It’s his weekend with her.”  
  
  
“I’m sure he’d understand if you wanted her with you this weekend,” Willow replied with a questioning brow raise.  
  
  
Emily smiled and nodded.  
  
  
“He does, we’re taking her home after this.”  
  
  
“Mama?”  
  
  
Emily turned around and was met with a pre-teen boy taller than she was but still young in his face.  
  
  
“Yes, Tobes?”  
  
  
Toby shuffled awkwardly.  
  
  
“Should I be with everyone else?”  
  
  
“Of course you should, Toby,” Tara cut in and leaned over to hug him, “You’re family.”  
  
  
Toby softened.  
  
  
“Thanks, Nana.”  
  
  
“Hi Audrey,” Willow raised her hand to greet the woman when she saw her approach across the grass.  
  
  
Audrey opened her arms to hug Willow.  
  
  
“Willow, I’m so sorry,” she said softly and pulled back with a sincere look, “We’ll hold the fort at the store for as long as you need.”  
  
  
Willow patted Audrey’s arm. Truly, Audrey and Emily ran the store seamlessly together by themselves and Willow had scaled down how much she went in because of it, but she still enjoyed poking around and having the kind of involvement she’d wanted from the start: all of the fun and none of the cranky customers.  
  
  
“Thank you,” she replied in the same sincere tone, “You take care of your wife and my grandkids, that’s all I need.”  
  
  
Audrey wrapped her arm around Emily’s shoulder and squeezed.  
  
  
“For me too,” she said and briefly kissed Emily’s cheek, then nodded to something on the other side of the cemetery, “I see Peter and Andrew. I’ll go settle everyone into seats.”  
  
  
“Thank you, baby,” Emily replied, briefly caressing Audrey’s fingertips before they parted.  
  
  
She had been 19 and Audrey had been 21 (her birthday, in fact) when they’d shared their first kiss. It had been a surprise to them both.  
  
  
It had also been a surprise to Willow, who promptly chopped her finger off when Emily had chosen to share the news whilst they had been preparing lunch.  
  
  
There had been a lot of obstacles between their respective children, some crises of sexuality, navigating the relationships with their children's fathers before they even got to the fact that Emily started out as Audrey’s boss but they had stuck with it and worked it out and now things couldn’t be better.  
  
  
Except for this day, of course.  
  
  
Today was not a ‘better’ day.  
  
  
It was expected.  
  
  
But that didn’t make it any less painful.  
  
  
As Audrey was crossing the grass to begin to welcome guests, suddenly a bright flash of energy jumped in front of her.  
  
  
“Mom, Dad doesn’t know if he should stay or not!”  
  
  
With a bushy beard and anxious eyes, a man came up behind her. Audrey kissed his cheek.  
  
  
“Of course you’re welcome, Adam,” she said and patted KT on the back, “KT, go stand with your Mama and your brother. I’ll be over in a minute.”  
  
  
KT skipped off.  
  
  
She understood what was happening but trying to force her to be still and solemn would only end up in a much more disrespectful scene than some skipping. KT took after her Auntie Lily that way and this fact alone endeared them greatly to each other. She was the first person KT skipped over to.  
  
  
Audrey gestured Peter and Andrew over and kissed them both on the cheek.  
  
  
“Thank you so much for coming. I hoped to see you both sooner since you went off to run the Manhattan store but I wish it wasn’t in these circumstances.”  
  
  
“Us too. But for Willow and Emily?” Andrew asked, holding a limp hand to his heart, “We owe them everything. Our livelihoods, our lives, our relationship. Everything.”  
  
  
“I’m truly sorry it’s for such a sad occasion,” Peter added, his big and shiny blue eyes full of sorrow. Andrew leaned his forehead on Peter's shoulder and kissed an exposed piece of skin there.  
  
  
Audrey nodded sadly.  
  
  
“I know.”  
  
  
Where the family was gathering, JJ suddenly looked above them all as a hearse rode up slowly.  
  
  
“Moms, Grandma.”  
  
  
Willow and Tara looked over their shoulders and nodded at each other. They went ahead to help Michelle out of the car behind the hearse. She let them link her to help her out, then she used a zimmer frame to steady herself on the flat.  
  
  
“Thank you,” she said weakly, and slightly out of breath.  
  
  
Willow and Tara shared a sad look.  
  
  
“We’ll help you to your seat,” Tara said and they very, very slowly started to make their way up the grass to the graveside.  
  
  
They put Michelle right in the middle of the closest row and sat either side to make sure she was okay.  
  
  
The rest of the guests arrived from the chapel over the next few minutes and took their seats or stood respectfully on the sidelines. KT and Toby sat next to Tara while the kids’ partners all sat in the row behind. Emmett sat there too, as he was a platonic partner of sorts and in fact, he and Lily often referred to each other as soulmates.  
  
  
Across the grave sat Buffy and Angel with Liam home from college, Alice and Jesse with Ella on holo from her work as a microbiologist in London, Xander, and Anya with both Alex and Ella home from their respective jobs in the FBI in Albany and surgical residency in Baltimore and Becky sitting amongst them all with a tissue in her hand, getting support from the whole clan.  
  
  
JJ, Kayden, Robyn, and Brian waited at the hearse to be the pallbearers and when they all had the coffin on their shoulders, everybody stood for the procession to the grave. Willow and Tara held Michelle’s arm to keep her steady.  
  
  
Everyone was silent except for the occasional sound of sniffling.  
  
  
Slowly, the coffin was brought to the mourners and left by the graveside. The rabbi stood over the scene with a solemn bow of his head.  
  
  
“Today we return our brother Ira Abiyram Yosef Rosenberg to the earth.”  
  
  
He began to lead the mourners in prayer and the Jewish amongst the crowd followed while the rest stayed quiet or whispered their own personal prayers.  
  
  
The rabbi stepped aside when he was finished and JJ, Kayden, Robyn, and Brian came back over to lift the straps under the casket so they could lower it into the grave.  
  
  
Michelle broke at this point and Willow and Tara helped to lower her back into her seat. KT burst into tears and from the row behind and Adam plucked her up and brought her into his lap. From the seat beside, Audrey stroked her hair. Emily looked over and knowing her daughter was safe, allowed herself to crumble into Lily, who was openly and silently crying.  
  
  
Tara sat with Toby and held his hand, then moved it up to wrap around his shoulders.  
  
  
“It’s okay, Nana,” he whispered and put his head on her shoulder, “He told me he’d be there every time I read a book to go on to the story adventure with me.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes filled. Reaching across Michelle’s back, she squeezed Willow’s shoulder. Willow looked over and smiled sadly.  
  
  
When the casket was safe in its final resting place, Willow walked over, taking a copy of the Torah. She bowed her head and started to recite.  
  
  
“Yitgadal v’yitkadash sh’mei raba…”  
  
  
Where appropriate, people answered the prayer. From the number of people who had come from Ira’s synagogue, he was clearly a well-loved man.  
  
  
It was easy for his family to believe that.  
  
  
When Willow finished, she took a nearby shovel and turned it so she was using the back of it. She thrust it into the pile of dirt dug up from the grave and tossed it on top.  
  
  
“Good night Daddy.”  
  
  
She closed her eyes and swallowed, then nodded once and passed the shovel back to JJ, who went through the same routine.  
  
  
“See ya later, Gramps.”  
  
  
“I love you, Pops,” Kayden said when it was his turn.  
  
  
“Farewell, Ganpy,” Robyn spoke solemnly, “I’ll miss you old man.”  
  
  
Lily and Emily held the shovel together and allowed the dirt to fall off.  
  
  
“Bye-Bye Zayde.”  
  
  
Tara brought Toby up with her to do her part and upon KT seeing that, she hurried up behind them. Audrey stood to grab her but Emily held a hand up and stayed close to grab her if need be.  
  
  
KT held the bottom of the shovel handle as the three of them tossed the dirt in, then KT dropped to her knees and shouted into the grave.  
  
  
“I’ll miss yoooouuuu! I love yoooouuuu!”  
  
  
This prompted fresh tears amongst many in the crowd. Tara silently encouraged KT back to her seat while Willow tried to help Michelle up but she insisted on doing it herself. Putting her hand in her pocket, she shakily brought out a vial full of dirt.  
  
  
Ira had specifically sourced it during their last trip to Israel and entrusted its safekeeping to Michelle.  
  
  
She loosened it as much as she could and allowed it to cover the last piece of wood peeking out.  
  
  
“Goodbye, my love. Not forever, but for now. He always told me that we didn't need two heartbeats to be together, we only ever needed one,” she paused, teary-eyed, and placed her hand over her heart, “So that's where we'll stay my love. In here, forever.”  
  
  
Michelle did accept help back, this time from JJ and Kayden. Willow and Tara both moved down a space to accommodate them.  
  
  
The rabbi led them in one last prayer before concluding the ceremony.  
  
  
Everyone was silent, processing the ending.  
  
  
It was a new beginning of sorts, though not the kind of new beginning they’d all celebrated with joy in the past.  
  
  
Though there _was_ joy to be had in celebrating the life of Ira, and Willow decided at that moment that that is how she would see this grief through.  
  
  
People started to move and congregants from Ira’s synagogue came over to express their sympathies with Michelle. Some of the ‘big’ kids went off for a quick walk or to be comforted by their partners and Tara stayed with the little kids to talk them through this event.  
  
  
Willow found herself at the foot of the grave, staring in silently.  
  
  
A hand came onto her shoulder.  
  
  
“You okay, Momma?”  
  
  
Willow turned back and put her hand over Robyn’s hand, squeezing it.  
  
  
“I’m okay, bean,” she said sadly but with as much of a smile as she could muster, “Hope it wasn’t too weird for you going back to the ole Jewish roots.”  
  
  
She glanced over to the man and woman had arrived with, who were talking with Emmett and Lily.  
  
  
“Or for your…”  
  
  
Robyn followed her eye line and looked back at Willow.  
  
  
“Coda was raised Jewish-Pagan and Jonas had a great-grandfather who escaped Bergen-Belsen so it’s not completely left-field…”  
  
  
“Wow,” Willow replied softly.  
  
  
“Yeah,” Robyn nodded.  
  
  
Willow turned to take a good look at her daughter. She still didn’t like the nose ring, but she’d gotten used to it.  
  
  
“It’s nice to see you, kid,” she said finally, sincerely, “Come home from Portland a little more often, hey?”  
  
  
Robyn awkwardly fiddled with one of her gauges.  
  
  
“I wasn’t sure if I was welcome.”  
  
  
“Always,” Willow didn’t hesitate to answer, “No matter what. You are always welcome.”  
  
  
She looked deeply into Robyn’s eyes to impart her sincerity, then smiled softly.  
  
  
“When you’re not too busy,” she added and patted her palms above Robyn’s collarbone, “I knew those kicks you gave me in-utero were enough to change the world.”  
  
  
Robyn rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“I don’t do all that.”  
  
  
Willow dutifully put on her mothering voice.  
  
  
“You’re only a year out of law school and you’re already helping girls—”  
  
  
“Anyone womxn-identified,” Robyn interjected.  
  
  
“—from disadvantaged—”  
  
  
“Low-income.”  
  
  
“—areas access welfare—”  
  
  
“State-supported income.”  
  
  
“—and better housing,” Willow finished fluidly, “And I know you have big dreams of starting your own non-profit. And guess what? I know you’re going to do it. I see everything you’ve made of your life…and I couldn’t be more proud.”  
  
  
She paused, some emotion catching in her throat.  
  
  
“And your grandfather was every bit as proud as I was.”  
  
  
Robyn’s eyes filled with tears, which she blinked away.  
  
  
“I’m going to tell C & J to head back to the house. I’ll ride with you guys.”  
  
  
“Do you only call them by their initials to save the time you need to have two partners?” Willow teased, then quickly cleared her throat, “It was a joke.”  
  
  
Robyn laughed, really laughed. Possibly inappropriately.  
  
  
“I know, Momma,” she said and pulled Willow into a big bear hug, “And I love you for it.”  
  
  
The graveside gradually cleared of people until it was just Michelle, Willow, Tara, and their children.  
  
  
“Hey, can everybody gather around?” JJ called out quietly, respectful to other mourners in the cemetery.  
  
  
Everyone formed a circle around the graveside and held hands.  
  
  
“I have to tell everybody something,” JJ said as he looked around, “I have Cleo’s permission. And I asked Gramps too.”  
  
  
He took a deep breath.  
  
  
“I told him when I saw him at the hospital. He asked it be shared right here, like this. He said when everyone was at their saddest, he wanted them to be able to feel the biggest joy.”  
  
  
He looked down at the casket and up with a slow smile.  
  
  
“I actually recorded him.”  
  
  
He pressed a button on the watch on his wrist and a holo of Ira’s head popped up.  
  
  
He was smiling.  
  
  
“Jacob and Cleo are to have a new little baby,” his voice came, weak but clear as day.  
  
  
Everyone gasped and expressed surprise and delight on their faces.  
  
  
Willow and Tara looked at each other and leaned in to rest their foreheads together.  
  
  
“It’s a boy,” JJ grinned, tears filling his eyes, “One of the games Gramps used to play with us was anagrams. Robyn was always better but I tried.”  
  
  
He bumped Robyn’s shoulder, who bumped back.  
  
  
“Anyway, I was teasing him once about his old-fashionedness and that even his name was old fashioned. He agreed and told me it was no name for a young boy and that even as an old man he wasn't sure he had grown into it yet,” he paused to clear his throat, “So I want to announce here that my son’s name will be Jackson.”  
  
  
Before anyone could congratulate of complement the name, Lily pulled a face.  
  
  
“You’re naming your kid after a basketball player?”  
  
  
“Hush, huh?” JJ pulled a face back at her, “His name will be Jackson…Ray. Spelled 'Rai'.”  
  
  
There was a moment of silence.  
  
  
“Which for the slower amongst us is an anagram of ‘Ira’,” Robyn supplied and suddenly people’s faces clicked into place.  
  
  
“Oh, Jacob,” Tara said but before she could stand to hug her son, Michelle stood on weak legs and kissed him on the cheek.  
  
  
“He will be loved on heaven and earth.”  
  
  
She placed her hand on his cheek and leaned on him. When she needed to sit, JJ carefully helped her down, then went to hug Willow and Tara.  
  
  
“I hope you’re ready to be grandmothers again because we’re going to need a lot of help.”  
  
  
“Ready and waiting,” Tara replied with a definitive nod of her head, “Come down to see us any time.”  
  
  
“Great,” JJ said with some relief, “Plus Cleo’s Mom’s always wanted to visit Niagara Falls and ask if it was the one that inspired TLC so she might come to stay closer to the border to be on hand too.”  
  
  
Willow’s brow furrowed.  
  
  
“She wants to…ask the waterfall?”  
  
  
“I didn’t know she was so attuned with nature,” Tara said graciously.  
  
  
“She isn’t,” JJ shook his head, “She wants to ask the troll that lives beneath it.”  
  
  
“That’s bridges,” Willow said with an even deeper furrow in her brow.  
  
  
JJ shrugged.  
  
  
“Yeah, she always gets those two mixed up.”  
  
  
Kayden came up to congratulate JJ and Willow turned to Tara, shaking her head.  
  
  
“How is that woman a math professor?” she whispered incredulously, “And a good one too! She stumped me with a question on multi-variable calculus at their wedding! I still haven’t figured it out! And I Googled it!”  
  
  
Tara took Willow’s hand and squeezed softly.  
  
  
“We should go and see what mischief KT and Miss Kitty are getting up to at our house.”  
  
  
Willow smiled tenderly.  
  
  
“And get some ultrasound pictures from Cleo.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes turned bright.  
  
  
“I’m so happy. Oh, I hate saying that today.”  
  
  
“No,” Willow shook her head, “You heard him yourself. This is what he wanted.”  
  
  
“And this is what else he wanted,” Michelle said as he walked toward the curb with JJ and Kayden on either side.  
  
  
Willow looked confused.  
  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
  
Then she heard the soft clip-clop of what sounded like horse hooves. She looked up the street and spotted a horse with a carriage attached coming toward them.  
  
  
“This is to bring you and Tara home,” Michelle explained with a sad smile, “Before you go to sit Shiva, he wanted this to happen. It was in his end-of-life plan.”  
  
  
Willow was only more confused.  
  
  
“It was?”  
  
  
Michelle unfolded a piece of paper from her pocket.  
  
  
“He said to say, ‘I hope this finally makes up for the bad birthday party pony thing when you were four’.”  
  
  
Willow looked to Tara and her eyes filled with fresh tears. Tara squeezed her hand.  
  
  
“And Robyn, he sourced an ethical company,” Michelle adding, eliciting a chuckle all-around.  
  
  
“I know,” Robyn replied, dropping her gaze to the ground and back up again, “He asked me to help.”  
  
  
Willow reached out and cupped Robyn’s cheek.  
  
  
She went around and hugged each of her children and Michelle with Tara following behind doing the same thing. They then helped each other up into the carriage and sat in with a blanket over their laps.  
  
  
“He didn’t account for my old legs when he planned this,” Willow joked but the sadness was clear in her eye, “That old man never stopped surprising me. And without you, I would never have gotten him back.”  
  
  
She leaned her head on Tara’s shoulder and they took off.  
  
  
The rhythmic bounce of the carriage had quite a calming effect. As they turned out of the cemetery, Willow looked back thoughtfully.  
  
  
“Let’s go visit your Mom and Rose next weekend,” she suggested, smiling a final goodbye, “And visit your shelter.”  
  
  
“It’s not my shelter,” Tara replied softly.  
  
  
“You donated the house,” Willow countered, always ready to defend her love, even from herself, “You were so brave to turn that house into something so positive for the community.”  
  
  
Tara exhaled softly.  
  
  
“I had good memories there too. With…him gone, there was no reason to hang onto the bad ones.”  
  
  
Willow kissed Tara’s cheek.  
  
  
“Those LGBTQ youth thank you.”  
  
  
Tara shook her head.  
  
  
“I don’t need their thanks. I just need them to feel safe.”  
  
  
“And they do,” Willow replied emphatically, “Thanks to you.”  
  
  
Tara turned her head and they kissed softly, just for a moment.  
  
  
Willow pulled back and put her palm on Tara’s cheek.  
  
  
“You’re looking a little grey around the edges lately, my love.”  
  
  
She let her sewn-together finger draw a circle on Tara’s skin.  
  
  
“You know my franken-pinky can detect these things now.”  
  
  
“I can’t pull off the color?” Tara arched an eyebrow and smiled crookedly.  
  
  
“You can pull anything off,” Willow replied, running her thumb over Tara’s lips, “Including my clothes later.”  
  
  
It was said with a smile but Tara saw the flurry of emotion in her wife’s eyes.  
  
  
“I might make an appointment for a check-up. Maybe I need a vitamin boost.”  
  
  
Willow smiled a little easier.  
  
  
“Good idea.”  
  
  
She linked her arm with Tara’s and entwined their fingers. She closed her eyes and rested her head back on Tara’s shoulder.  
  
  
“You know, I don't know where my dad is right now.”  
  
  
She lifted their hands to kiss Tara’s hand.  
  
  
“But this?”  
  
  
She looked at Tara and saw everything and everyone and past and present and future and all of her life’s meaning in one gaze.  
  
  
She saw love.  
  
  
She kissed her wife to feel all that she saw and settled back to enjoy the ride.  
  
  
Isn’t that all one could ask of life?  
  
  
This _was_ a new beginning and a tough one.  
  
  
But with Tara?  
  
  
“This is heaven.”


End file.
